Things you want to say to husband/boyf/ex's/friends/family/people *MOD NOTE POST #1*

LegacyUser

Hey you. Yes, things are changing for me, but I'm still the same.

How many times do I have to say I love you? When will you believe me?

It's so lonely down here on my own - I think of you and miss you all the time, and get angry at you as well because it hurts being without you. No one I will meet here can replace you, because you are everything I want - you. Just you. You woke my heart and my mind, everything seems brighter, more worthwhile when you are around. That night over two years ago when you were ever-so-slightly awkward but completely adorable - I melt a little every time I think of it. I was in that room recently and wished so much that you were there again. And the night we actually met when I was so nervous I could hardly stutter a word - do you remember it as I do? Do you wish we could do it again and maybe talk properly this time? I think this time I could conquer the butterflies that felt like a shark attack.

I love you. So there. Don't you dare say goodbye, I need you in my life, so much. Come back to me or I'll put my grandmother's curse on you, and you don't want that, do you? You've been warned.

P.S. I love you.

larrymickdick

ok I'm just frustrated - I want more!

LegacyUser

Dear you again,

You feel that you are helping me in some way, but it's not helping anyone. You don't see it, but it's a punishment. I know I failed you before, but not maliciously, only out of confusion and doubt. And yes, immaturity. I didn't know how to cope with something so strong that hit me out of the blue when my guard was down, and my stupid insecurity leading me wrong. Do you not see how happy it would make me to have you in my life, on any terms? I wish I had let you know long ago how wonderful I think you are. Even now I am embarrassed to say how I feel; it just seems to come out all wrong. I look at that post and it seems cheesy and silly. But please believe that though I'll make mistakes - I'm a bit stupid you see - I'll stick around. And you needn't worry about me wilting away under pressure.

It makes me happy that you love me - I couldn't bring myself to believe it before, but it tortures me to think of you being unhappy and pushing me away. Surely we can both be a bit happier right now.

Because it can't be said enough - tá grá agam duitse, a chuisle mo chroí. Come back to me, please. Please let me know how I can persuade you to believe me.

LegacyUser

Mo ghrá...

'm waiting here for you.

I'm waiting here for you, to love me.

LegacyUser

Just like she says......i'll make sure to keep my distance, say I love you when you're not listening.....how long can we keep this up? Please give us the merit we deserve.

wendydoll

D,

I was just being polite when I texted last week about your order, I didn't need to hear the whole ins and outs of your new failing relationship. I would prefer if you didn't txt me with your smutty thoughts of us, especially when you have a new girlfriend, that you wish was "the one". I would love sweet Laura to know what you're really like, having sneaky text conversations behind her back. I suppose you got really good at doing that when we were together.

Maybe leave your sheet cool a bit between relationships and you wouldn't be so confused in "Love"

Dear R,

I know you're older than me and maybe at the stage where you need to settle down but you are driving me crazy and we haven't gone out on a proper date yet.

You need to chill the beans and let it happen organically, if it ever will. The last thing I want is to jump into a relationship after the crap one I recently got out of. And you know that. If you are going to ask me out on a date, make it a fecking date and not "wanna go for a spin"

I'm not 17, I'm a grown woman than can drive. So going for a spin isn't a luxury.

LegacyUser

Love,

I'm scared. I'm afraid you'll ignore me or walk away from me again. I couldn't bear it, it hurts too much. I don't know what to do.

McChubbin

Dear Dad,
I'm sick of breaking my own heart over you. You're never going to change and after 24 years of wishing you'd stand up and start paying attention, my patience is wearing thin.
I'm better than you and I've had enough of expending my energy trying to get you to change. That's why this year will be the last you'll see of me.
I'm cutting all ties because you've caused me nothing but pain and bad memories. I have my own life to lead now and there is no longer a place for your negetivity anymore.

In the words of Gotye, "You're just somebody that I used to know."

princess-lala

Go away and just leave me and my lovely friends alone!!!

You're a horrible person!!

LegacyUser

I had 2 okay days, I met a friend for the cinema; went to work and went to the gym....but then yesterday I crumbled.



What's the point, what's the point anymore?



My leg is a mess. I'm a mess.



I can't do this new job, I can't!! I can't do anything!!!!



He's gone now, he's gone now for good. There won't be a next time this time.



I sat with the therapist crying for an hour last night and talking about him; why wasn't I enough??? Why didn't he want me?! I know why though, it's because of me, it's my fault.



It's all my fault. All of it. He was right. And it always will be.

It doesn't matter what anyone else says; the therapist, my friends..anyone. What he thought mattered most. They say he just tried to hurt me, but that makes it worse - why would he try to hurt me that much?! Why would he break what's already broken?!

Worst of all, I love him.

'You really miss him' - that's what the therapist said last night. Of ****ing course I do!!!! He was always there, even when we weren't together I always thought someday we would be. But now there's no going back, even if I wanted to. I can't see past how he feels about me. He blames me. He blames me!!!!!!!! All I ever wanted, was for him to love me.

And now, he's gone.

larrymickdick

I'm sick of watching the bank account to see if you transferred the money you owe me - just pay it back already!! ffs - it was January last year I gave it to you and I need it!!! not asking for it - remember what happened last time I did that!

pffft... are you not mortified? I would be.... never lend money to "friends" again...

That_Guy

Dear depression,

Kindly fúck off. You are making me something I don't want to be. I've never been so confused/upset/frustrated in my entire life. There are times when I can cope with you but when I can't, I doubt myself and negative thoughts cloud my judgement.

I'm not sure how I go about dealing with you but even though I don't see an end right now, I'm certain that one day I'll see some sort of light and I won't look back.

WinterSong

I feel like I'm unravelling. It's not your job to fix me or put me back together. You don't owe me anything, in fact I owe you a ridiculous amount. But it's breaking my heart to be without you. It really is. I'm worried I can't do it...any of this. I keep making a fool out of myself and I'm fcuking up my life and I just don't know what to do.

Hope O_o

How do you thank someone for the gift of life, in the midst of their own personal crisis? To the one who tragically passed yet offered new life to strangers, and for the family who mourned for their loved one yet made the tough choice of organ donations... Thank you for saving my brothers life with your generous, loving gift. I may never know who you are/were, but I will always be grateful for your sacrifice.

andyournameis

I'm not happy anymore, I know you not either and I think its time for us to call it a day, we used to be so happy, u used to be so attentive I feel you just don't care any more.... If I meet u tonight I think I'm going to finish our relationship. I'm just tired from it all...."Sorry"... Funny thing is I know when i say it to you... you properly just say yep no bother see ya around!

LegacyUser

A chuisle,

Just a word, that's all I need. Just evidence that you do care because I fall prey to paranoia so easily. I can't have confidence to proceed unless I know for sure it's what you want. Say you will - it wouldn't cost you anything but would mean the world to me.

LegacyUser

I love you I'm too scared to say it, but i'm pretty sure you feel the same way... so get on with it already!!

LegacyUser

so thats it then? by doing nothing you seem to have said it all. i cant keep being the one to ask, you know what i want, i know what you want, pity you can't follow through. I will try to move on now, leaving just you behind if I can, please let me. I promise you wont even recognise me the next time we meet.

daenerysstormborn3

It's almost one year since you passed away. I can't believe how much has happened in the past year. J has really changed, some good and some bad. Everything with P has made him colder and he's so suspicious of everything, he second guesses everybody. Could you blame him? As recently as yesterday he got a phone call looking for money and a whinge when he refused.

You'd be so proud of J though, back to college, head down, enjoying his course, working hard and paying for it all out of his own pocket, that's what you left for him, you left him the means to educate himself as best he could and he is so thankful to you for that. We know what you thought of him in college, even though you never told us, you told everybody else. We know you were so proud of him and he cherishes that thought. All of the time he put in with you was just to make you happy and everything he did was just to make you proud. You and his mum.

I miss you of course. It's so hard. I still can't think of you without tearing up. I still can't walk up the path to the grave without bawling my eyes out. Everything reminds me of you. Everything reminds me you're not here and the big hole you've left.

We loved you (we still do of course) and you were a massive part of our lives, the biggest part but I don't think we realised until you were gone how much we needed you. You were always there for both of us, you were generous in every way, you were a great listener. I don't understand how P and his family never saw these qualities in you. You were such a great father, even when you had only J, and P didn't care, you still looked after him in the only way you could and the only way he wanted.

All the stuff we've had to face over the past year just makes the hole you've left even bigger. Everything we've been through would've been made 100 times easier with you here, just to listen and help any way you could. J thinks you were watching over me when I was hit by the van, he's convinced that you're the only reason I wasn't killed so if that is in any way true (you know how much of a skeptic I am) thank you.

I wish I still had the bike, that was your last present to me. I hate that man the most for that, he wrote off that bike, my biggest memory of you. It was the one thing that really showed me just how selfless you were, I knew before but then I saw it in action for myself. I still have the bike but it's not exactly in showroom condition anymore. I'll never get rid of it ever. The fairings are going up on the garage wall with the blade fairings, up beside that framed photo of you. That photo will stay there forever. That was where you farmed, that is where we have our workshop, all the things we have because of you and you'll always watch over us.

I wish time hadn't been against us. I wish we could've given you the chance to have grandchildren that you could actually spend time with and watch grow up and treat the way only a grandparent can treat a grandchild. Just know that any child J has, whether it be with me or someone else, will know you, they'll know everything about you and everything about J's mum.

You'll be missed forever.

LegacyUser

I just wish I knew what you were thinking and what you want me to do, if anything. I always seem to get it wrong because I'm floundering about trying not to lose you. I would love to see you or just talk to you because I miss you so much, but if that's not what you want right now I wouldn't want to make things harder.

As ever, you are a darling and a sweetheart and I love you to bits. xxx in lieu of real-life ones.

LegacyUser

Dear R,

I really think you might have been the love of my life. I think you knew it too. Do you remember the shock of realising how perfect we were for each other? I'll never forget how happy I felt that night, and indeed any of the other nights we hung out. You were so interesting, so smart, so bloody funny. Ok, maybe you were out to impress me just a little bit (and it worked) but what really impressed me was realising how much you looked out for me, and how I could always count on you. Of course you could and can always count on me too. You know I will never, never forget you. What's more, I use so much of what you taught me that it feels like I carry a little bit of you around with me all the time. I couldn't get my head around it when I left and didn't see you any more. It felt unreal and in a word, wrong. It was just wrong that you weren't with me. It felt like I was living at a weird angle to the world - that everything was off-kilter. I know why it's this way though. I know I wouldn't have been the best thing for you - and maybe not you for me at the time either. Ah, bad timing, my old nemesis! While I know that I'll meet you again, I'm aware that when I do you might be engaged or married. It will break my heart but I won't mess with that. I just hope I one day meet someone even close to how perfect (for me) you were, but for the moment I think you might just have ruined other men for me a little bit!! Sometimes I feel very sad about all this but thinking about you today really put a smile on my face. I feel lucky to have ever met you. I hope that wherever you are tonight you're very happy and contented and that when/if you remember me it's with similar sentiments.
Until our paths cross again,
x

beks101

Work,

Your timing is impeccable.

I'm finding it hard to care anymore.

Go suck on my big fat balls.

Regards,

Beks

Cherry Blossom

Dear Anyone who's interested,

I have no clue what's going on in this thread, none whatsoever. I don't know if it has anything to do with me or not, but I would hope not given what today was. I just want to point out that I haven't posted in this thread since the 4th of October and won't be posting in it again - just in case there is any confusion that needs cleared up.

AJ.

LegacyUser

Hi. I can well understand. Trolls can be sadly persistent and seem to get satisfaction out of messing with peoples' minds, especially on a place where people are sad or hurt. There's a bit of an echo alright.

LegacyUser

Part of me should be relieved that I finally know you’re never going to give me another chance because it means I can truly start to move on, or grow up and move on, as I think you put it. But right now there is another part of me, by far the bigger part, which is utterly heartbroken. I broke your heart, I know that, but my heart is broken too. Not that I blame you for not coming back. How could you ever trust me not to walk away again?

It’s a year and a half since I broke up with you – the 3rd time I did that. The 1st time I was fully convinced it was what I wanted to do – a stupid and immature mistake and we were back together after two weeks; the 2nd time I was being rash and panicky and we were back together after six weeks; the 3rd time, I realise now, I was deeply depressed and had been for some time. It had become a self-fulfilling prophecy that I would break up with you for good but the mad thing is that on the day I did it, we had had one of those weekends where I felt truly comfortable being with you. And we had filled a well full of experiences and memories at that stage so how did I think that counted for nothing? Love is between two; try to explain it to a third party and you can’t. It just is. I wish I had realised that when we were together because I was constantly questioning whether what we had was real. I should have just let it be.

I was honestly holding on for as long as I could but when that final rejection came in June of last year, I was spiralling downwards and I couldn’t see the bottom. I was facing unemployment and I couldn’t cope. I thought how could I work to restore a relationship under those circumstances because I felt so useless; I was so lacking in self-worth. It’s no exaggeration that I was close to self-destruction; not in a suicidal sense but in every other sense.

As you progressed with your career, mine receded. That doesn’t mean I was jealous of you; I couldn’t have been prouder because I could see how good you were at what you do. You only needed to realise that for yourself to achieve what you are capable of. But I started to feel that I could never live up to expectations of me as an equal in our partnership – I felt my contribution would become weaker over time. I don’t know what those expectations were; I suspect you had none beyond that I would love you and care for you and our children, if we had any. But depression does that to you – it plants irrational doubts in the mind and they begin to engulf all other thoughts. One of the worst feelings now is knowing that you reached out to help me over and over and I rejected every effort you made, causing you such awful pain.

The last guy was a short-term rebound – deep down I knew it wouldn’t last, especially given the fact that he was from my town. But I’m equally sure that this new guy is the real deal. He is probably a really nice guy – and he’s likely a much better catch than me. It’s my fault that I’ll not be the one marrying you but I thought for a while that I could live without you; more the fool me. So the pain I feel right now is very real. I’ve fantasised about us getting back together – it has become like a crutch, as has searching for you online. I deleted my facebook account this week for that very reason; this obsessing about you, about us, has to stop. There is no us.

Yesterday, I was driving near to where you are from when Tom Baxter’s “Better” came on the radio and for the 2nd time in the space of an hour, I cried. You loved that song and you used it for the slideshow you made of your friend’s wedding. Weird stuff like that happens to me all of the time – I’ll be somewhere where we used to be a lot together and a certain song will come on the radio or I’ll have this crazy dream about you.

The 1st time I cried yesterday was at the spot where we scattered my friend’s ashes in August. He was one of the few people who loved me unconditionally, who bigged me up, who never let me down. You were one of the others. Now he’s dead and you’re no longer here. I know that’s self-pity but it’s genuinely how I feel right now: empty inside.

I hope one day that I can look back on this time and realise I was just being human and that getting over you was just something that needed to be done, however long it took. You have long moved on from me and probably think I’m pathetic for all the efforts I made to get in touch. Whatever good I ever did in our relationship is likely long since soured. But I still love you so much; I never stopped loving you, even in those moments of breaking up with you. Remember how much I cried – that was for real because deep down I knew it was the wrong thing to do.

If I could have make one wish come true I would go back to one of those Saturdays we were shopping in Derry, drinking coffee in a cafe. I looked out the window at the jewellers across the street and I said to myself “Just do it. Bring her across the street right now and buy her an engagement ring.” But the moment passed and I didn’t do it. I live with that regret and what a regret it is.

You are forever in my heart. You really did make things better.

LegacyUser

You're not trying hard enough.

LegacyUser

Love,

You're breaking my heart. Could you possibly ever bring yourself to trust me again? I'm so very, very sorry if I played a part. Please, love, please don't be alone. Please trust that I'm very faulty and still don't understand what you're feeling most of the time but I would never willingly do you any harm. I don't need you to be strong - I just want you to be happy, more than anything.

Please hold on, for me. I need you. Believe that, please.

LegacyUser

Dear L,

I've gone away now. I think about you so often but I don't know what to do with those thoughts. I think about texting you whenever anything happens, but when I do I can never keep up the conversation. The emails we write feel so impersonal, just me keeping you up to date with the mundanities in my life.

We never got to that deeper honesty in our relationship, and now the distance is making me doubt whether what we had was real at all. Sometimes I need to hear how somebody feels about me to believe it.

What will it be like when we see each other in 3 months? I can't think of being with anybody else but you, and I already feel a sense of dread that you will no longer reciprocate those feelings.

I am feeling homesick and lovesick at the same time.

I hope this isn't the end for us.

LegacyUser

I feel helpless.
I want to wrap you up and tell you that everything will be ok.
I want to be there for you and help you sort out everything as best I can, so you can concentrate on dealing with it and not trivial little things.
I want to be able to talk to you, let you vent, scream, cry...whatever you need.
But I don't know how to tell you this...how do you console a grieving father? No matter what I try to say or do, it won't be enough.

I am here for you though, and I know you know that. I just wish you would accept my help instead of pushing me away

Augmerson

You,

I realise now just what it is about me that is not right. Instead of thinking calmly and logically about a situation I react from my emotions, and this is not a good idea where you are concerned. It took a long time unfortunately for me to realise that I was abandoning all logic and rationality when dealing with you, and unfortunately in that time I have caused a lot of needless drama which everybody could do without and ruined any chance of friendship between us and I'm also just hurting myself with the things I do and it's like throwing more fuel on the fire.

I'd tell you this to your face but I don't think it'd do much good but I still want it expressed, want it out of me, and just to get on with things and try better next time. I've learned a lot about myself from this and at least I've grown a bit.

But still, I'm very sorry. I hope your happy whatever your doing and wish you the best of luck at it