Things you want to say to husband/boyf/ex's/friends/family/people *MOD NOTE POST #1*

Bubblefett

Say whatever the hell you want about me, your opinion stopped mattering to me a long time ago, but if you ever hurt Dad like that again you will get a rude awaking.
Grow up and cop on. You're the eldest but you're the only one of us still acting like a child.

LegacyUser

Victim blaming…that’s what they call it. Emotional abuse…that’s what the therapist called it. That’s what you subjected me to. But still, I came back to give you another chance - because I loved you. That’s the ****ed up thing about love, sometimes you just don’t have a choice in it.

You made me wait, you made me wait just so you could tell me I wasn't worth the hassle. You can't just have the good parts, it doesn't work that way. You only want me when I'm okay, you don't care enough to want me when I'm not...and I can't risk that. You never cared for me and you don’t deserve me, even the way I am right now. I don’t need you; I can do this on my own. But I wanted you, I wanted you so badly. For some reason, I had a feeling with you I've never had with anyone before - there was just 'something' between us, something that made me come back even after all of the hurt.

I gave you an olive branch, but all you did was tear the bark off piece by piece. Why? I know you feel something. I know you felt something at least, once upon a time, so why? Why could you never just let me in? Why did you always play this game of having the upper hand? It could have been so easy, if you'd just let it. Despite it all, I still wanted you. You knew that. But I couldn't play it your way, I couldn't apologise for the things I hadn't done.

And now, it's over.
Goodbye my love. I wish you well.

LegacyUser

Dear you,

I thought you didn't want me - is that so hard to believe? I even thought you didn't like me. I thought that was perfectly logical, although it was extremely skewed. There is a part of me that reacted as you say - that part I am changing, because it comes from abuse. It's not me.

I was scared and humiliated because the worst of me always seemed to be before you, I was too tired to be myself and every time I thought I had ruined things. At the end I did react in that horrible way because I thought you didn't care, that I was pathetically offering you something you didn't want.

If you can't get over that, I'm not going to complain, I have no right. But please don't believe that I went out to hurt you, because it's not true. It's just not. It's not me. You are not seeing me, you are not seeing the truth.

Me.

LegacyUser

In as few words as possible:

1. I don't love you. I don't really know you. You're not my partner. You're not the only person I've expressed an interest in.
2. Your behaviour is confusing and scary, and kinda abusive. I don't mind, though; I just ignore it now.
3. Telling me you love me over and over doesn't reassure me. It makes me think you want something. I'm not taking the bait.
4. All these games are mostly in your head. I annoy you by saying nothing. Why bother saying anything in that case?
5. I'm not posting in this thread again, so don't even bother. If you want to talk, talk. You've nothing to lose. Otherwise, meh.

I'd pepper this post with XOXOs, but I don't do insincere affection any more. Soz.

LegacyUser

Goodbye, I will learn my lesson and be better and stop being pathetic. I always knew it wasn't for me.

LegacyUser

What was I thinking?

Scared? No, you deliberately tried to panic me so I would humiliate myself (again) and you could deride me. Contact you? Sure, so you can ignore me, as always, and tell your work friends how I won't leave you alone. I'm such a loser, after all.

I always knew you'd do me harm.

LegacyUser

Fine, sticking with her are you? Just as well, when she wears your ring.

LegacyUser

Well, thanks for clearing all that up then and confirming to my heart, what my head already knew about you...............very simply, your not worthy.

he will be your undoing...........and i'm done.

LegacyUser

Yes, I know. rolleyes.gif

I suppose that felt good at the time, but you don't feel so good now. A bit of a sick thing, isn't it, a folie a deux. I get hysterical and grovel, you pounce and destroy. I have to thank you, I genuinely do. Interacting with you has been like looking in a mirror and seeing clearly what has been wrong with me for so long. I'm not a monster, believe me. I will be getting counselling for co-narcissism soon, it sounds like psycho-babble but it's a real thing. I was right when I said that we bring the worst out in each other. I wondered why you behaved so differently with me than with other people, and I certainly didn't like the way I was with you.

In spite of everything, I believe that you're better than that, as I know I am. With this thing you retain some of the attitudes of the abuser. However, that interaction will help me to further identify where I am vulnerable and perhaps where I am narcissistic. I am taking responsibility for my own life and actions, though, and that's the main thing. I hope you do as well. Thank you for this; it has made me stronger. Knowledge is a powerful thing. Please be honest with yourself; it will make you stronger and better. And please don't give up now. I care for you a tremendous amount; maybe there could be something there again when we're both stronger? In the meantime, please don't avoid me. God bless you.

LegacyUser

Oh, and would you leave my friends alone? You know they wouldn't like you if they knew what you were truly like.

LegacyUser

P.S. You were right to want to work things out on your own. I am sorry for not respecting that. I've been trying to persuade you I'm not what you think while behaving reprehensibly. Food for thought.

Lucyfur

Ugh, you're really, really irritating. Grow up and jog on.

LegacyUser

Dear Life

Oh here we go again back to oblivion. I'm bored and restless. I have everything and nothing all at the same time, freedom, no responsibilities but no one and a glittering destination surrounded by barriers and obstacles.

What have I become? Here I am a million times removed from that person I was and so much stronger now. I've finally shaken the worry of what other people think about me. But life is being elusive again, I finally know the goal, but it will never be that easy will it? I know I'm finally ready for it but it's so far out of reach and I fear the curve balls are about to appear, right on queue.

I wonder if fate exists sometimes, an over-riding destiny, you can never avoid. Drawn to it like a moth to a flame. Funny really he should show up now, like some kind of window into and reminder of a past I thought I'd finally buried. A glimpse of the only part of that past I've ever felt an irrational compulsive desire to stay watchful of, suddenly unearthed. What did that interaction mean? Was there a message in it somewhere, something I was supposed to glean or learn from it. If there was it's lost on me, I have no clue why. Maybe it was merely simple coincidence? It meant and will amount to nothing at all. Or have I inadvertently set something in motion that should have stayed static or was I indeed meant to knock it over?

Maybe I wanted to poke it with a stick, maybe I'm just desperate for something to happen, anything at all. No matter how much I protest a part of me always seems to want to seek out change and chaos. It is after all how I've learned the best life lessons, and grown as a person.

And here I rest in the calm afterglow of the most chaotic and stressful year and a half of my life, and I can't enjoy it. The old me would have basked in the glorious nothingness of it all, but the new me is desperate for excitement or movement or growth, I want to learn, I want to learn more about me. I want to feel all those emotions which only a few years ago I ran from, they ripped my heart out and tore me to shreds. I want to feel pain, I want to feel anger, happiness, I want to try to find love, I want to get my heart broken again. I can't seem to settle in a placid, life. I should be content, this is my comfort zone after all, it is safe and familiar. What have I become? Where is this going to lead? Is it all just a mirage of nowhere and nothing at all.

The Big Red Button

You,

I'd love to know what's been said about me. I really truly would.

I do know that my conscience is clear. I can't think of anything that I've done or said that I wouldn't stand over. I really don't understand what happened, or why it happened.

I also know that I wouldn't ever judge or dismiss a friend without approaching them about the issue, first.

It's sad, but I guess it's all a learning curve.

I truly do wish you and yours all the best.

LegacyUser

You,

Fair enough. All the best anyway.

LegacyUser

Dear everyone,

Calm the f**k down.

Hugs and kisses,

Me

LegacyUser

Dear you

Uhoh, that made me smile a little too much and I'm still thinking about you. Oh no.

bugged

I want things to be special between us again. I want to feel close to you. These walls you've put up really hurt me. I'm trying so hard and putting everything in but I can't keep giving. I'm exhausted. I'm tired. I just want things to be the way the used to be. The smallest amount of effort on your part seems to be the biggest thing. I think if you having to put any effort in at all, it causes you to resent me. You say you love me - it doesn't feel that way. Honestly I would prefer you to let me go than go through this. You want excitement - so do I. We're so similar and you don't even realise it. I've started acting like you so there's no arguments but this is not who I am. I just want love and actions speak louder than words. You've gone down the rabbit hole and I'm afraid you're not coming back. I have been feeling for months that the end is coming - I think you feel it too but you don't want to admit it, you're afraid of being on your own but that's no reason to hurt me the way you do. Just bring back that amazing person that I fell in love with to our relationship. There's nothing I wouldn't do for us but I feel like I'm going mad.

LegacyUser

Dear you,

You don't love me and let's face it, too much water has gone under that bridge for me to ever feel the same either.

But, it's been a while, and well... it's been lonely. I'm not looking for anything so don't worry about that, so let's catch up, ok?

LegacyUser

I think you are an amazing person!

Youve rang me a few times, and I dont pick up because am so nervous. Why you kept trying, I dont know. I usually fudge these things up. Ive made excuses not to talk to you, when all I want to do is talk to you!

Am terrible at talking on the phone. Terrible. But now we have arranged to talk on Fri-you've finally pinned me down. And I have to say, I did think about making an excuse and cancelling.

Part of me wonders why you are so interested to talk to me!

I guess I will find out. Honestly, am so shy it is talking all my courage to do this. I am so excited at the same time tho.

Note to self: Dont fudge it up. Be your natural, quirky self. Dont be scared.

shinikins

Why? Why are you continuing to lie? Especially when it's such a stupid thing to lie about. You totally messed things up for yourself there, didn't you? You thought we would fall for it hook, line, and sinker, but your story didn't add up. You wanted attention, well you certainly got it-all the wrong sort, and yet there you are, blatently lying, saying that you're not the one in the wrong. You are, just do something right for once, and admit that it was bull, I'd have more respect for you then. What you're doing right now is sad, pathetic, and it's only yourself that your doing it to. Just be happy in your life, no matter how small and ordinary it is-there are many, many thousands of people in the world who would be overjoyed to have a fraction of the life you have.

Just grow up.

LegacyUser

To my Wife,
I am very sorry for what I did and said lastnight. I should not have have taken offence to what you were saying to me and walked out like that. I am sorry for takeing my fustration out on you.

You ask me what is wrong with me, but I can't tell you. I am frightened of what is to come. I know what is to come is what we both want, we have tried for years and now it happened I am happy and scared, funny that!

You can think of 1,000's of things that can go wrong, I try to think it will be all fine but I worry as well deep down, just good at hideing deep down inside of me.

Cherry Blossom

Happy Birthday, Enjoy your weekend, that is all.

Ickle Magoo

Post deleted.

Please note the mod warning in the first post:

MOD NOTE

This thread just does what is says on the tin - please post in another more appropriate thread/forum if you want to give advice/comment on posts/chat to other posters.

Many thanks

Cheers

Fiona

Dear C

You upset me today, that's the first time you have done it. It really doesn't feel nice

x Purple Pawprints x

I don't know why people wonder why my confidence is low. I was making you both a meal, why did you think it was okay to tell me to stick to making buns and "little things like that". How am I supposed to be confident when I get comments like that?

LegacyUser

three little words 'in a relationship', three word that feel like a dagger to the heart. I'd fooled myself into thinking I was over you. I've met loads of guys since you. Guys who were everything you're not - warm, kind, mature, lovely decent guys. Why on earth does it hurt so much to see those words.

What has she got that I didn't? Why is it that I go out of my way to treat men with decency and respect and honesty and here I am still single and lonely while men like you can treat women like meat and still end up in a relationship. Yes, I'm bitter, but it's just not fair, i'm so tired of being disappointed and hurt. The old it's not you it's me lines. Come on lets face it - it has to be me. Where on earth am I going wrong? Why is life so unfair, I have so much to give someone, I'd be the best girlfriend ever, I know I would. Why am I just so completely unlovable

Hope O_o

What are you withholding from me? I heard it in your voice... the hesitation.
I need to know what you are not able to talk about. Worst case scenario and all.

...(Please God, take care of him)

LegacyUser

I wish you would apologise when you hurt me. Not ignore me.
I wish we could have a proper, serious conversation, without you walking away.
I wish I knew what to do.

LegacyUser

I'm not ready yet. I don't really know how to explain but can you trust me on this? I'm not leaving you in the lurch... please don't tie yourself into a knot over me. If I could make things okay now I would.