What's the most retarded thing you've done in your entire life?

Killer Pigeon

Dear ALL,

Now I'm not going to start this thread by giving an account of something retarded I may have done in the past because, quite frankly, I'm a very boring human being with a very bland lifestyle (other than just earlier today when I realised that the chicken eggs we eat are actually unfertilised eggs and the yolk of the egg doesn't actually contain small chicken fetii/ fetuses). Anyway, to continue with the initiation of this most retarded thread, which possible has been created many times before, please give us a splendorous account of the most retarded thing you had the misfortune of doing in your entire life.

Regards,

KP.

Midnight_EG

YO'RE MA!













Heh :P

KeithM89_old

Sober:
Stuck my finger into a chip-pan to see if the oil was hot enough. - the bubbling and steam wasnt enough of a sign.

Drunk:
Shat into a urinal for a bet, got caught by a barman and had to clean it out

Killer Pigeon

Midnight_EG wrote: »

YO'RE MA!













Heh :P

Is that short for 'You are mad?'.

epgc3fyqirnbsx

There were two taxis both with a spare seat. One which had a girl I really liked, the other which was alright. I went in with the one who was alright and ended up going out with her for a few months as a result of it even though had just been told the girl that I liked wanted me in her taxi.

Why?

Cos I'm a f*ckin idiot

Princess Peach

I don't think I'm allowed to post his name.

Krieg

Turned down a dream job to finish my studies in college, One month before the recession.

PanchoVilla

Dropping out of highschool. It's not the most retarded thing I've done, just the one I most regret.

bonerm

I coined the term "Celtic Tiger".

OutlawPete

Queued last week for over an hour to renew my driving licence only to find out it had two years left on it

epgc3fyqirnbsx

OutlawPete wrote: »

Queued last week for over an hour to renew my driving licence only to find out it had one year left on it :rolleyes:

That's retarded

alwaysadub

While in work, on a steel ladder, i stuck my finger into a lampholder to see what type of bulb it took.. I'd kinda forgotten to disconnect the light though, and leaning on a steel ladder really didn't help. For some reason i actually thought my boss was messing and shaking the ladder, took me a second to realise it was me shaking everything cos i was getting shocked. Burnt a big hole in my finger.

mojesius

Sober:Shopping with my Dad in M&S on Henry Street, I was about 5 or 6. Anyway, got lost as you do, ran around looking for him, saw him and ran up and banged my head against his belly while shouting "Dad, you're getting really fat". I look up, it's not my Dad, some complete stranger, who I just called fat and possibly winded.

Drunk: Set my alarm for 4am, should have been 7am. I get into the shower at 4am, completely inebriated and half asleep, fall over and whack my head giving myself a black eye. Crawl back into bed. Wake up at midday, late for work, with a black eye. Boss was not happy.

Bob the Builder

Met a girl I really liked and we were going to get with each other. Both really nervous so nothing happened. Haven't stopped liking her since.

heavyballs

came home to mother's house very very drunk
put electric hob on
peeled spuds for chip sambo's.....jum
put chips into deep fryer and placed on hob,went to watch a bit of telly and kinda forgot about them
long story short....half the kitchen was totally ruined,took the Ma a long time to forgive me for that one

OutlawPete

Peter Wooden Instep wrote: »

That's retarded

Aye, and it see my edit - was in fact worse ..

Went to see a movie in The Lighthouse anyway, so wasn't a totally wasted trip

bonerm

Bob the Builder wrote: »

Met a girl I really liked and we were going to get with each other. Both really nervous so nothing happened. Haven't stopped liking her since.

You should have told her you knew a great way to fix her.

Fizman

Breaking into a building site and climbing a crane at 3am whilst being quite drunk would have to rank as one of the sillier things I've done in my life tbh.

Toyota_Avensis

Invested shares in Anglo.. Níl sin cliste in aon choí!

FatherLen

put a cable tie around my neck as a child and tightened it. my mother was not a happy camper that day. it all worken out in the end. when the cable tie was being cut off they caught a bit of my earlobe so i didnt get in trouble AND got ice cream

medici

Was four or five when I got my hands on a window cleaner thingy that had really powerful magnets in it (I think the idea was that you could wash both sides of a pane of glass while staying indoors or something). Anyway broke the magnets out of it somehow or other and, while my dad was watching snooker on the tv I marched up to it, stuck the magnets to the side and watched in glee as the snooker balls grew bigger and bigger until the entire screen was just a mess of colour...destroyed the tv, back in the day when a new one could cost anywhere around £800/£900

Lando Griffin

Was at an Rave one night in the middle of nowhere and being worse for ware and watching spaceships all night in the sky decided to go home.
I couldn't get the key into the ignition so decided to hot wire it.
I proceded to rip all the plactic from around the stearing wheel and lo and behold after a few attempts the car started.
Hopped it into gear gave it a few revs and reversed into a ten foot drain.
Got out and gve up on the idea of driving and rejoined the party until the next day, which it took several hours and a loan of a tractor form a farmer to tear the car out.

Kimono-Girl

Princess Peach wrote: »

I don't think I'm allowed to post his name.

ah you beat me to it!!











....i hope its not the same guy? :eek:

jimthemental

Sober: Was rotivating at home and drove halfway across the field with the machine in the ground and the PTO off. Gave an hour with a shovel digging it out far enough to drive out.

Drunk: Slipped on ice last christmas and ****ed up my shoulder for life.

Stench Blossoms

Believed my dad when I was 4 that he was going to break down our back wall in our house by running at it.

I tried to help. Broke my nose

Birneybau

Bob the Builder wrote: »

Met a girl I really liked and we were going to get with each other. Both really nervous so nothing happened. Haven't stopped liking her since.

Can you fix it?

Probably not...

Greyfox

Years ago I had a McDonalds coke in my hand and instead of just putting it in the bin I decided to throw it over the Trinity college railance

Instead of going over it clipped the top of a tree and came back down, I then ran over to Dame street where I got on the 83...after I paid I realised that the women who's jacket I just soaked got on the 83 as well at Trinity College (where the termist use to be) :eek:

She tore into me on the bus and I had to just keep acting innocent and pretending that it wasn't me even though she clearly seen me....definitely the longest journey of my life

Kold

Horsed a load of ket when I thought it was charlie that was offered to me by two randomers on the street.

What a hilarious misunderstanding.

Bob Z

Toyota_Avensis wrote: »

Invested shares in Anglo.. Níl sin cliste in aon choí!

How many days ago was this?

RefulgentGnomon

Birneybau wrote: »

Can you fix it?

Probably not...

What's this a reference to?

Kablamo!

When I was about 7 I was in my friends house. Himself, myself and his sister decided we'd "help" his parents by washing their car...
With brillo pads.
Wasn't invited back there for awhile, oddly enough.

Birneybau

Bob the Builder wrote: »

Met a girl I really liked and we were going to get with each other. Both really nervous so nothing happened. Haven't stopped liking her since.

Birneybau wrote: »

Can you fix it?

Probably not...

RefulgentGnomon wrote: »

What's this a reference to?

Way to quote me out of context.

RefulgentGnomon

Birneybau wrote: »

Way to quote me out of context.

Can't multi-quote!

Daysha

A couple of years ago I let my provisional license expire. I applied for a new theory test, assuming I had to do it again to get a new license. I failed, re-applied and eventually passed a few months ater. Went into the tax office to send off the application form when the girl told me I never had to re-sit the test in the first place.

January

jimthemental wrote: »

Sober: Was rotivating at home and drove halfway across the field with the machine in the ground and the PTO off. Gave an hour with a shovel digging it out far enough to drive out.

Drunk: Slipped on ice last christmas and ****ed up my shoulder for life.

RTE man is that you?

Princess Peach

Kimono-Girl wrote: »

ah you beat me to it!!











....i hope its not the same guy? :eek:

Sadly, I'm sure there's more than one in the country.

adrieanne__x

adrieanne__x wrote: »

RTE man is that you?

LOL 1st thing that came to my head.

Most retarded thing me and some mates did when about 15 in southern France when we got some repeater fireworks and decided to set them off at 1 in the day on a packed beach.

Mate shoots 1 into the air, lands in the dunes, next thing the whole beach is going up in flames. Men women and children running to the sea with buckets trying to help put out the fire.

Am now banned from France. :pac:

kylith

Fizman wrote: »

Breaking into a building site and climbing a crane at 3am whilst being quite drunk would have to rank as one of the sillier things I've done in my life tbh.

That's more common than I thought; a bloke I used to know did the same. I think he had a nice sleep up there too.

When I was about 6 I used to lick unplugged jacks (like for headphones) because the static electricity tingled. One day I didn't realise that what was in my hand, and what went into my mouth, was plugged in. That cured me of that habit.

homerun_homer

Watched Fade Street.

mikemac

Parked the family car and went into the shops.

Came out of the shops and hopped into the wrong car which was unlocked. Same make, same model and colour. I was in a bit of a daze, distracted over something.

Got straight out of there. Owner never saw me and probably would thought I was stealing it

i57dwun4yb1pt8

smoke cigarettes

jimthemental

adrieanne__x wrote: »

RTE man is that you?

If only, that lad definitely had more dignity.

Funky Kingston

The most retarded ....

I went to Canada

Keith186

I was in transition year and doing some office work experience in Down Syndrome Ireland in Bluebell.

I sent an email after the two weeks to the manager to thank them for the chance to work there.

Did the worst typo ever signing off and instead of 'Kind regards' I typed 'Kind retards' by mistake and sent it. Dam spell checker didn't stop it either!
Never got a response back to the email, they just have thought I was completely taking the piss!!

take everything

OutlawPete wrote: »

Queued last week for over an hour to renew my driving licence only to find out it had two years left on it

Brilliant.

babyoncocaine

''Shopping with my Dad in M&S on Henry Street, I was about 5 or 6. Anyway, got lost as you do, ran around looking for him, saw him and ran up and banged my head against his belly while shouting "Dad, you're getting really fat". I look up, it's not my Dad, some complete stranger, who I just called fat and possibly winded. ''

is that you :eek:

BraziliaNZ

Got married

MultiUmm

Wasted loads and loads of opportunities presented to me. Being too cautious is just as bad, if not worse than being reckless.

mojesius

babyoncocaine wrote: »

is that you :eek:

As far as I know, it is me.

kerash

feelingstressed wrote: »

Parked the family car and went into the shops.

Came out of the shops and hopped into the wrong car which was unlocked. Same make, same model and colour. I was in a bit of a daze, distracted over something.

Got straight out of there. Owner never saw me and probably would thought I was stealing it

followed the instructions in your sig:pac:

alwaysadub

I just poured boiling water from the kettle onto the palm of my hand instead of onto the scrubbing brush. Fcuking OW! :mad: