What's the most retarded thing you've done in your entire life?

General General

Teamshadowclan wrote: »

Most embarrassing moment of my life...

Was in a drama class once with this girl I quite liked as a teenager. Anyway, I sit down and after a few moment she sits down beside me. I had my arm on the back of the seat when she sat down so now it's like I've got my arm near her. Feeling all cool and manly and flustered so just sit there smiling.

Anyway, a few minutes later I stand up and realise I'm sitting on something. Realise I had plonked my ass down on a petition she was asking people to sign and she had sat down beside me to try and get it without actually saying "Oi, fatass, get up." Making it worse, cause I had been shuffling a bit closer to her when she sat down, I kind of destroyed the petition thingy as well, crumppling up the sheets and ripping some of them.

Even to this day, I shudder when I think of it. Was so stupid and embarrassing cause I probably came off as a sleezy idiot...

Well, you were young...

My most retarded moments are those several moments when I hurt the feelings of people who deserved better...

Baffling

Did something real stupid last night, cannot for the life of me work out what was going through my mind. So, we're all having a few beers and hanging out at the house, a girl I really like is over as well, and after a good few drinks it's made clear she'll be staying - excellent. Well. Except that I proceeded to drink far, far too much, and unfortunately, as said girl lay naked on my bed asking me was I coming to join her, I was apparently too enthralled watching grainy black and white footage of German offensives in WW2 on youtube to accept. Woke up still in my computer chair in a drooling mess, her asleep in the bed. Nice. Can't begin to imagine what I was thinking. And what she thought of me. Sex? Sorry, not for me thanks. I'm grand with my grainy black and white footage. :rolleyes:

General General

Baffling wrote: »

Did something real stupid last night, cannot for the life of me work out what was going through my mind. So, we're all having a few beers and hanging out at the house, a girl I really like is over as well, and after a good few drinks it's made clear she'll be staying - excellent. Well. Except that I proceeded to drink far, far too much, and unfortunately, as said girl lay naked on my bed asking me was I coming to join her, I was apparently too enthralled watching grainy black and white footage of German offensives in WW2 on youtube to accept. Woke up still in my computer chair in a drooling mess, her asleep in the bed. Nice. Can't begin to imagine what I was thinking. And what she thought of me. Sex? Sorry, not for me thanks. I'm grand with my grainy black and white footage. :rolleyes:

Who hasn't had this happen?

I foresee a bright future for you on boards.ie.

jmbkay

Drove home a short distance with a puncture. You should see the tyre. Stupid stupid me. Hubby wouldn't speak to me for hours.

LadyE

jmbkay wrote: »

Drove home a short distance with a puncture. You should see the tyre. Stupid stupid me. Hubby wouldn't speak to me for hours.

Drove around for ages not noticing I had a flat tire

Felt like a right eejit when my boyfriends dad chased us down the street to tell me

Derfil

I know a guy who drank so much he clambered onto a ship in the docks in the early hours, found a bunk and fell asleep. He woke some hours later with that familiar hangover feeling but also the feeling of being on a moving ship.

The ship was laden with cattle and two hours out of port heading for Libya. He announced his presence to the crew who you can imagine were not best pleased. Ship turned around and headed back to port where boozy boy was greeted by the Gardai.

ringadingding

Drove the motorbike into temple bar one afternoon, had a pint or two in the czech inn, the bike was outside, anyway there was a load of girls outside, and with a couple of pints and thinking i was cool , i got on the bike, smiled at them, revved up and pulled off quickly, i got 6 inches, before the front lock which id forgotten to take off hit the forks sending me flying, red faced, embarrassed and with a damaged bike.

Even know years later I cringe, what a pleb

LighterGuy

Its all situational.

If a person is renting because its what they can afford or saving money up to knock a chunk off a mortgage. perfect sense.

If someone is renting for the last 5 years and was in a position to get a mortgage. thats stupid. thats 5 years that could of went off paying a house.

citizen_p

Put my foot through a window when I was like 14, just for a laugh, it was taken out and was leaning up against a wall, was single glazed too, needless to say I cut my ankle to Shreds...

a friend set my other friends Mothers Car on Fire, we were all sitting in the back, I was about 7 or 8 and somone had taken matches from their house, we proceeded to cinge the yellow cushion on the seats and quickly put it out. I went home for dinner at about 6 and when I left to go back out I seen thick black Smoke rising from that general area. I Immidietly ran down, Car totally ablaze and the Fire Brigade arriving moments later... it was a banger anyway but still

housetypeb

When i was about 22 or so i had a good buddy who though i was one tough mother****er because i was into boxing and karate and loved a good street fight now and again, usually alongside him, he would be a brawler while i would be a technician so to speak.
he always reckoned that I could probably take his best punch while i always said
that i couldn't
One night ,the subject came up again,and this time we were both drunk enough to try, he bet me 5 punt(old money)that he could not knock me out with a punch and i bet him that he could!
I won the bet,as I knew I would, last thing i remembered was standing in front of him and then waking up at home with a sore jaw as my brother carried me indoors.

citizen_p

LiamN wrote: »

A
E) Haven't brushed my teeth for YEARS (like, an amount that isn't even funny - like 8+ years, probably 10 at this stage) until very recently - Always found it too much of an effort. Luckily none of my teeth have rotten, wisdom teeth are actually growing, and none have fallen out (yet), or had to be pulled. *Touch Wood*

so you were a Big hit with the Ladies?

Wetai

Mousey- wrote: »

so you were a Big hit with the Ladies?

I don't go out, so can't really be a "big hit" with them.

yesno1234

housetypeb wrote: »

When i was about 22 or so i had a good buddy who though i was one tough mother****er because i was into boxing and karate and loved a good street fight now and again, usually alongside him, he would be a brawler while i would be a technician so to speak.
he always reckoned that I could probably take his best punch while i always said
that i couldn't
One night ,the subject came up again,and this time we were both drunk enough to try, he bet me 5 punt(old money)that he could not knock me out with a punch and i bet him that he could!
I won the bet,as I knew I would, last thing i remembered was standing in front of him and then waking up at home with a sore jaw as my brother carried me indoors.

Similar story with mates of mine only it ended up with a 3 night stay in hospital and a jaw reconstruction.

booboo88

meeting my ex :rolleyes:

chloek

Having an affair.

Voodoomelon

In DKIT years ago, I went for a big manly poo. Straight into the cubicles, dropped the pants and away I went. No one else was in the place thank god as the place was reeking.

All of a sudden I hear the main door open and there's two girls chatting away inside. I was like WTF. I hear the cubicle next to me open and then close, your one unzipping her jeans and she was still chatting away to the girl at the sinks. That feeling of terror shot through my body, my eyes started darted around looking for clues, the biggest being the sanitary towel disposal bin beside me. F***!!! "I'm shítting in the ladies jacks. You've really out done yourself here".

Thank god I was on the jacks, as I would have shat myself. It was like being behind enemy lines and I hadn't been detected yet. Fear and excitement. Started wiping frantically and flushed away. I thought to myself, "Do I wait for them to leave, or risk someone else coming in and waiting on my cubicle?" (there was only 2). There I stood pondering and I just made a snap decision, f*** it, just leg it! Whipped the lock open and belted it to the door, with your one at the sinks mouth hanging open.

I thought thank god thats over, only to look up and see about 8 girls from the same group all waiting outside the jacks. "Lord, please let the roof collapse on me right now..."

qz

^^^^ Bahahahahaha!

General General

LighterGuy wrote: »

Its all situational.

If a person is renting because its what they can afford or saving money up to knock a chunk off a mortgage. perfect sense.

If someone is renting for the last 5 years and was in a position to get a mortgage. thats stupid. thats 5 years that could of went off paying a house.

This was a retarded moment that was recorded live, yeah?

LC2010HIS

Registering on this site

cloudydsound

Baffling wrote: »

Did something real stupid last night, cannot for the life of me work out what was going through my mind. So, we're all having a few beers and hanging out at the house, a girl I really like is over as well, and after a good few drinks it's made clear she'll be staying - excellent. Well. Except that I proceeded to drink far, far too much, and unfortunately, as said girl lay naked on my bed asking me was I coming to join her, I was apparently too enthralled watching grainy black and white footage of German offensives in WW2 on youtube to accept. Woke up still in my computer chair in a drooling mess, her asleep in the bed. Nice. Can't begin to imagine what I was thinking. And what she thought of me. Sex? Sorry, not for me thanks. I'm grand with my grainy black and white footage. :rolleyes:

really? ..... i mean really?

carlosvan

When i was in school i was doing school dramas and was told by a EX friend we should also do musical recorder lessons, yeh this was all good stuf, getting involved in after school activities, then he said there's a dance class on aswell so i thought ok lets do that aswell, i was mortified to find out is was a ballet dance, and there was 30 girls and just me and my friend, all the guys were watching around the windows, i just wanted my life to end right there and then, at end of 1st class i just told teacher it clashed with another after schhol activity, and got the hell out of there, i neber to the day let anybody talk me intoi anythging that i havent checked out in advance ,

ladypip

Cummybaby wrote: »

When I was a little pup (around 4 or 5) I snuck into my brother's bedroom and found a black cat banger under his bed. I then placed it on a heap of burning coal and poked at it. Needless to say it exploded and I spent the next hour running around the house crying whilst resembling a coal miner back from a tough day's graft.

That is actually the funniest thing i have ever read!

Killer Pigeon

AnneFrank wrote: »

Well it is my name Jim odd as it is !And no worries about last week but i do think using the word retarded is in very bad taste in the thread title,there is so many other words that could have been used without causing offence,i'm sure the OP didnt intend to do so,but it will

Dear Frau Frank,

I know it has been a long time since you wrote that comment of yours but I haven't read it until now.

I apologise if I have caused you any offense. In my defense, the word "retard" hasn't been used to clinically define anyone with a mental disability for decades. Indeed, it was not my intent to use it in this context. The word has becoming increasingly disassociated with its foremost meaning especially, it seems, amongst the younger generations.

At one point in time, the word "idiot" was used to officially to categorise someone with a mental disability. I remember reading over the 1911 census records of some distant relatives of mine and I saw that one child was labelled as an "idiot", referring to some mental disability he/she had. Before that time again, the word "stupid" could have been used in the same light. In your opinion, if I had wrote "What's the most idiotic thing you've done in your entire life?", would you have been equally offended?

The connotation of many words has changed since the 19th century. The words "idiot" or "idiotic" are used quite casually nowadays and are no longer subject to the same level of scrutiny as they used to by those, like yourself, who advocate political correctness. Even the word "insane" (quite a strong word I believe) is becoming more acceptable to use in everyday speech. Society's perception of what types of language are or are not "distasteful" is changing all the time.

The way I see it, the words "retard", "stupid" and "idiot" are becoming ever more synonymous with each other as the English language develops. I don't see why we should just stick to a select few words to describe some woefully mistake we or someone else may have made, to avoid being lambasted by the PC-brigade. If we were to simplify the English language in such a way we might as well start speaking Newspeak.


Regards,


KP.
OP of this most stupid, idiotic, insane & retarded thread.

P.S., I myself have relatives who have mental and learning disabilities. Also, "retard" has many different definitions; like negative acceleration, the retardation factor in chromatography or the retarded potential in electrodynamics. The reason these aren't usually viewed as offensive is because they are not used in the context of mental or learning disabilities. Similarly, I did not use "retard" in the context of mental disability.

PatientBear

Voodoomelon wrote: »

...
I thought thank god thats over, only to look up and see about 8 girls from the same group all waiting outside the jacks. "Lord, please let the roof collapse on me right now..."

I am pi$$ing myself with the laughter! Good one!

General General

Only a retard would go for the username AnneFrank.

PatientBear

When I was a teenager I was out drinking in a few pubs with my brother and friends and we all ended up in a nightclub. I was too young to know not to mix drinks. Also, it was near to Christmas and the disco was absolutely rammed. Anyway, towards the end of the night I knew I was going to be sick from drinking too much so I tried to get over to the gents to vomit into a toilet or sink.

Anyway, the place was so crowded that I began to get scared that I wouldn't get to the jacks on time and I'd have to heave up on the floor in front of everybody. Then, as if by magic I saw an opening in the crowd just in front of the jacks and thought 'Great, if I can just make it to that gap I'll be just able to sidestep to the toilet and it'll be fine'. It never occurred to me to think why such a packed disco would have a gap in the crowd - and believe me, even if I had wondered to ask, I certainly wouldn't have come up with the answer...

So I pushed my way through the crowd, fighting to keep the puke down, and made it to the opening in the crowd, and then stopped dead, just metres from the entrance to the toilets with something blocking my path. I looked down to see why I couldn't move forward anymore and discovered that the reason there was an openining in the crowd was because there was a man in a wheelchair there. I was so stunned and surprised that the last of my self-control left me and I vomitted all over him...

To this day I can still remember him wiping the sick of his shirt and looking up at me to say 'thanks' in a really sarcastic way. I opened my mouth again genuinely to say sorry to him and all I managed to do was get sick all over him again...

After that I lurched off to the left towards the opening to the disco's kitchen, where a couple was kissing romantically, and threw up heavily beside them to their complete disgust...

I cannot convey the shame I felt the next day. I told the story to my friends, half expecting that they would laugh it off or say something encouraging when I felt so bloody awful over it. I will never forget how their jaws dropped and their eyes widened in horror when I told them. Ground open up and swallow me.

Killer Pigeon

General General wrote: »

Only a retard would go for the username AnneFrank.

You know, some people might view it as distasteful to choose a username like AnneFrank too.

four18

The Kitchen sink was blocked and after much "plunging" decided that the U bend under the sink was the culprit. I got a bucket ready underneath and slowly undid the U bend which dropped into the bucket followed by the contents of the sink which filled the bucket to the very tip top.
I very very slowly took out the bucket trying not to spill any, lifted it up and threw it down the sink...DOH ! ! !:( Niagra Falls at my feet

Aoifey!

Steff wrote: »

While drunk one day last summer, I accidentally broke one of my bottles. As I was cleaning it up, my friends warned me not to cut myself on the broken glass. Of course, I was all "SURE THIS WOULDN'T CUT YA AT ALL" and rubbed a shard along my arm to prove my point.

Sleeve was DESTROYED a few minutes later...

Oh, and also, fat girl, too many vodkas. I'm sure you can fill in the blanks yourself...

You left out the best part. You didn't just rub it along your arm, you attempted to write "Steff" in your arm. Don't lie

Seaneh

Drank a 75cl bottle of absinth in 15 minutes for a bet, was sick for 3 days.

Not worth it at all.