What's the most retarded thing you've done in your entire life?

Twilightning

When I was around 13 or 14, my mam brought me on a trip up to the North to one of those markets, I forget the name of it but if somebody told me the name I'd remember. Anyway, while I was up there I bought a really cheap electric bb assault rifle, which actually looked pretty realistic. Fast forward a few weeks later and two of my mates from school rang me up, saying they were bored and wanted to see my new gun so I stupidly dropped the gun inside a Dunnes bag and went and met down down on the seafront at Clontarf.

When I got there, one of the guys took it out of the bag to have a look at it, but the bag I was carrying it in blew down off the pier. While I went to get it, gob****e was aiming it in clear view of everyone in the sea front and somebody in a parked car rang the guards and said a few dodgy looking guys had a weapon and looked like they were ready to use it. I grabbed the gun back off him and told him he was stupid for taking it out of the bag. 3 minutes later a squad car pulled up to us sirens blaring and told us to take whatever was in the bag out. We got caught with the gun and a minute later the guards in the squad car gave the all clear to an unmarked armed response unit that just pulled in behind him. Needless to say my mother was mortified when she got the call that we'd been taken in to the police station, but she couldn't go off on me since she bought me the gun in the first place! I was lucky I didn't get a record out of it, I went to the United States the next year with my school!

charlemont

Moving back to Ireland......

I only done it for my son, soon as his leaving cert is done im going back.

Hal Emmerich

Twilightning wrote: »

When I was around 13 or 14, my mam brought me on a trip up to the North to one of those markets, I forget the name of it but if somebody told me the name I'd remember.

Clougher market?

Twilightning

Hal Emmerich wrote: »

Clougher market?

I think it had 'borough' at the end of it, not sure.

DualFrontDiscs

Twilightning wrote: »

I think it had 'borough' at the end of it, not sure.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jonesborough,_County_Armagh

Ken.

My uncle lived in london around 89-90 and after a night on the sauce with his friend headed for the underground. When they got to the platform there was a train sitting there with its door opened but no sign of anyone around. They decided in there infinite wisdom that surely a tube can't be hard to drive and they only had to go 4 hops.

Queue them heading the whole way to the end of the line where half of London's police and the armed response unit so19 were waiting for the mad paddies. Bomb squad were there to check the train also.

They got 3 week's in wormwood scrubs and a lifetime ban from the London underground.

emeraldstar

Booked a flight for 17 June 2011 when my passport expired 16 June 2011.

mbur

I went to London to meet my daughter who was coming to stay with me for a year. We took the train to Stanstead and when we got off I made sure she had collected all her bags. Looking at the departures board upstairs I noticed that my shoulder bag with my passport in it wasn't on my shoulder. It was still on the train. A quick word to my daughter to stay exactly where she was and I am leaping down the several flights of stairs to the train. As I reached the last flight I saw the train hadn't moved but there was a rather depressed looking man in the drivers cab. It was also then that I noticed some announcement on the PA about persons and bags and trains. Apart from a group of policemen with automatic weapons standing around the middle of the train, the platform was deserted. I sauntered up to the train driver and told him that my bag was still on the train. He leaned out the window, looked back down the platform and pointed to one of the policemen. "Tell that man over there" he said. So I did.

We had a short discussion in which I revealed that the bag was blue with some white writing on it and that it contained my passport. The police then asked me if I would like to collect my my bag. They all walked in the opposite direction as I boarded the train.

I found my bag under the seat where I left it. One young constable who was perhaps a little braver that the others boarded the train and asked me if everything I was carrying in the bag was there. He seems as relieved as I was when I said yes and then he had a look under all the adjacent seats.

Back on the platform I was given a very stern and professional lecture about what I had done. I then went back upstairs to rejoin the queue for the flight to Ireland. Oh, and the date? Saturday 23rd July 2005.

Stinicker

mbur wrote: »

I went to London to meet my daughter who was coming to stay with me for a year. We took the train to Stanstead and when we got off I made sure she had collected all her bags. Looking at the departures board upstairs I noticed that my shoulder bag with my passport in it wasn't on my shoulder. It was still on the train. A quick word to my daughter to stay exactly where she was and I am leaping down the several flights of stairs to the train. As I reached the last flight I saw the train hadn't moved but there was a rather depressed looking man in the drivers cab. It was also then that I noticed some announcement on the PA about persons and bags and trains. Apart from a group of policemen with automatic weapons standing around the middle of the train, the platform was deserted. I sauntered up to the train driver and told him that my bag was still on the train. He leaned out the window, looked back down the platform and pointed to one of the policemen. "Tell that man over there" he said. So I did.

We had a short discussion in which I revealed that the bag was blue with some white writing on it and that it contained my passport. The police then asked me if I would like to collect my my bag. They all walked in the opposite direction as I boarded the train.

I found my bag under the seat where I left it. One young constable who was perhaps a little braver that the others boarded the train and asked me if everything I was carrying in the bag was there. He seems as relieved as I was when I said yes and then he had a look under all the adjacent seats.

Back on the platform I was given a very stern and professional lecture about what I had done. I then went back upstairs to rejoin the queue for the flight to Ireland. Oh, and the date? Saturday 23rd July 2005.

Considering that 7/7 and the follow up attack was only after occuring I'd say you were lucky not to have been surrounded, if you were Arabic or middle eastern looking you probably would have been.

secrecy_ie

Said 'thanks' to an ATM.

Glico Man

Queued for more than an hour and a half to renew my license when I could've just walked straight in. The queue was for people renewing their motor tax

Radharc na Sleibhte

Stuck my finger in a bit of pipe to see would it fit.
It did. Just.
Wouldnt come back out though.

**By pipe i mean copper pipe, not mine or anyone elses rectum.

civis_liberalis

Radharc na Sleibhte wrote: »

**By pipe i mean copper pipe, not mine or anyone elses rectum.

And you are the one that volunteered that, not us.

floutingmaxims

Got intensely drunk and walked around a B+B in the nip looking for the bathroom. In the process tried to get into other peoples rooms(which were locked) then found a bathroom, turned out to be in the owner of the B+B's bedroom. Turns out the room i was in was actually en suite after all that. I got an awful tanning the next morning and only had a vague memory of it all :pac:

Never been so mortified in my whole life. I hope my family dont see this post. Oh well.

James__10

I got a new laptop for xmas in 2009, On St.Stepehens day I accidently spilled 7up on a table which the laptop was sitting on. I cleaned up the mess and thought that the laptop was not affected by the spillage. Woke up on the 27th turned on the laptop and it wouldn't work it kept on making a clicking noise. I panicked and told my parents that the laptop wasn't working and they said they'd ring up customer care and see what the problem was. I explained to customer care that the laptop just won't turn on and that it was making a clicking noise they said it was probably just a faulty hard drive and told me to take it back down the PC World. So off we went down to pc world and expained to them that phoned up customer care and they told us to come back down for a replacement. They wouldn't replace it and my parents were getting increasingly frustrated and started argueing saying that the laptop was barely a day old. I kept quiet not letting on that I spilled 7 up onto. Finally my parents talked PC world into a replacement. I was over the moon replacement laptop:D Until the man behind the counter opened up the disc tray and it was saturated and said it was water damage. :rolleyes: It took a few days for the folks to forgive me:o

Helmet Head

Lone Stone wrote: »

let some women sleep with my dog didnt end to well

was one of them from Limerick?!


http://www.joe.ie/news-politics/current-affairs/irish-woman-dies-after-dog-sex-0013864-1

silvine

I voted FF once

Ledger

silvine wrote: »

I voted FF once

You sicken me........

mbur

Stinicker wrote: »

Considering that 7/7 and the follow up attack was only after occuring I'd say you were lucky not to have been surrounded, if you were Arabic or middle eastern looking you probably would have been.

Exactly. Considering what happened the day before to Jean Charles de Mendes, I got off very lightly. The mad thing is that as I was hurtling down the stairs my only thought was to get to the train before it left. When I saw the scene at the bottom of the stairs my priorities changed a little. Instead of 'get passport' it was 'get passport and stay alive'.

ShadowGal

I got my hair cut up really short one time. Hated it, went out with my friends and got really drunk. I was crying about my new horrible hair so we drank loads of shots and the bouncer had to carry me out of the club and to a cab. i was so embarrassed the next day when i eventually woke up and realized the state i had been in. Not good, not good at all.

lawra

First time we went to Florida I was 7 and my parents had been telling me all day that our house had a swimming pool out the back all for us, so needless to say the minute we got to the house I ran straight through the house towards the "open" glass sliding doors screaming 'last one to jump into the pool loses'....

....woke up on the way to the hospital with broken nose and suspected concussion....irony was I wasn't allowed jump into the pool for the entire holiday.

Pyr0

Walking to the shop during lunch in school a few years ago with my mate, he sneezed and blasted out a massive wet snot. It just sat there dangling from his nose swaying from side to side as he walked, he decided to bend over to let the weight drag it down and out, he walked straight into a lampost with this massive snot still hanging there.

In absolute hysterics the rest of the day laughing at him.

galwayrush

Becoming self employed and employing people in this country.

Hal Emmerich

Pyr0 wrote: »

Walking to the shop during lunch in school a few years ago with my mate, he sneezed and blasted out a massive wet snot. It just sat there dangling from his nose swaying from side to side as he walked, he decided to bend over to let the weight drag it down and out, he walked straight into a lampost with this massive snot still hanging there.

In absolute hysterics the rest of the day laughing at him.

LOL, well written, I can picture it.

galwayrush wrote: »

Becoming self employed and employing people in this country.

AAAh BOSS!

Doylers

So you know those electric grinders that sharpen tools, http://i.ebayimg.com/13/!B-H)F7w!Wk~$(KGrHqYOKj!EzJ5rOFl7BM7wYmjprw~~_35.JPG. I was using one 3 years ago (I’m 19 now) to sharpen a chisel. When I was finished I wondered if it would hurt to touch the wheel while spinning. Yes I did hurt lost a chuck from my middle finger. Not a great idea on my part.

Did a similar thing where I wondered if stapling my fingerer hurted, I can also confirm that it does

tired insomniac

alarm went off on a monday and i woke up stil drunk from the night before, drove to work, half hour drive to get there and still half asleep/half drunk and to find the place closed. so i'm ringin my boss at like 8 in the morn for him to tell me to **** off tis a bank holiday. never changed d alarm settings. he was cursin me the next day!

ShadowGal

A few years ago i had just gotten a bikini wax and decided to text my boyfriend at the time to tell him. I had a new touchscreen phone so i wrote

"just got a bikini wax and thought id tell you im now a smooth criminal ;-) "

I sent it to everyone

Elba101

A few years back I was away with friends down the country. One of them got ridiculously drunk and was all over the place. We all started to walk home which was down a hill. My friend lost her balance, went head first into the corner of a building and rolled all the way down the hill.

She had a big cut inbetween her eyebrows for days after and told her mam she went canoeing got hit by an oar :P

Kya1976

Wearing a mini skirt on a windy day.

Wossack

Back in the days of seemingly endless houseparties - me maybe 18/19 years old. Had my new leather jacket on, frickin lady killer. Anyway, after the few cans in neighbours, we head off walking to the house party.
Stopped by Gardai at the top of the road, and they confiscate the opened cans - all bar my one anyway. I had seen them ahead, and me, being the smart arse, and carrying an almost full one, slipped it into the inside pocket.
Bit of chit chat from the fuzz, 'dont open those others cans lads' etc and away we go.
Get around the corner, and Im like 'wahey lads, they didnt get my on-' and I open my jacket to reveal my soggy jeans and jumper.. I had managed to put the can in upside down
Queue torrent of abuse, and a stinky jacket (jesus it stank). Took a long time to live that one down..