What's the most retarded thing you've done in your entire life?

yogimotorsport

Got sent to prison for a week on remand for assault - not one of my prouder moments

Dan133269

yogimotorsport wrote: »

Got sent to prison for a week on remand for assault - not one of my prouder moments

tough guy! all the internet women are well impressed!

phoenix0250

Did the Hitler Salute in front of Lenin's Tomb in Moscow to get a funny picture, sadly the armed police didnt see the funny side of it :eek:

yogimotorsport

Dan133269 wrote: »

tough guy! all the internet women are well impressed!

Did i not say im not proud of it or is your intolerable ignorance the subject of your being

Dan133269

yogimotorsport wrote: »

Did i not say im not proud of it or is your intolerable ignorance the subject of your being

Did you study English literature in the slammer too?

Temptamperu

ooh somebody read in prison

raveni

bluewolf wrote: »

It's a bit like being on a phone call and panicking because you realised your phone isn't in your pocket

Exactly!

:pac:

Kashkai

About 20 years ago, I was driving from Galway to Dublin on the old N6 and I was stuck behind a line of cars who were stuck in turn behind a tractor. So being young and fcuking stupid, I got very aggitated and started to overtake. A guy in front also overtakes but slowly so I then go onto the opposite hard shoulder to overtake them both. Just to be clear, there's the tractor in the left lane, a car overtaking him and then there's me in the hard shoulder on the right hand side of the road. If anything had been coming against us, there would have been no where to go.

Stupid bloody mental thing to do.

Cill Dara Abu

raveni wrote: »

Exactly!

:pac:

Blatent thanks whoring of the highest order!

Steamer

Love this thread.

Was on holidays with the girls and one of the them got sunburnt the day before so I agreed to sit under the brolly with her at the poolside bar for the day and relax with a few drinks. There were a lot of birds flying around but a particular one kept flying low. I have a fear of birds and had a few drinks so was a bit weary. So this bird swoops down a bit lower than before and in order to defend myself I picked up my own drink and threw it in my face. (top, hair etc all wet)

Barmaid came over with gave us free cocktails because she thought it was so funny.

raveni

Cill Dara Abu wrote: »

Blatent thanks whoring of the highest order!

It's an old post, I though it was ironic:o

Dolph Starbeam

Out last night, back to a friends house, couldn't find one of my shoes this morning and had to get a taxi home with just one shoe on.. Got a call when I got home that they found it on the roof, still don't know how it ended up there

ILikeBananas

When I was younger I used drink naggins of vodka the odd time before going out. One time I went to Tesco but they had no ordinary naggins, only double naggins. I decided to get one of those and only drank half of it. Well, inevitably I ended up drinking the whole thing. There were a few of us drinking in one of my friends house and one of the lads who was not drinking gave us a lift to town.

I was sitting in the back with the window open fully and my head out enjoying the air rushing past my face as the car sped along on the outskirts of the city centre. Now here's the really retarded bit. I decided that it would be a laugh to climb on top of the roof. So quick as a flash I climbed out of the windowand twisted my body around to grab onto the roof in order to haul myself out of the car. At this point my friends in the back seat started screaming and grabbed onto my legs to keep me in the car. So here I was half in and half out the window and I swivelled around and there right in front of me me on the opposite side of the street was a garda on foot patrol with his mouth wide open starting at me.

Suddenly I came to and realised wtf I was up to. I jump back into the car whilst hearing the garda shouting at us to stop. I remember in a low voice just saying "Drive damn it, drive!" to my friend who thankfully complied.

The sense of shame the next morning was only trumped by the realisation that I came really close to killing myself through sheer stupidity.

I haven't drunk a naggin since.

Kya1976

donalg1 wrote: »

Pictures?

I don't wanna frighten anyone with my Bridget Jones knickers.

SlipperyPeople

ILikeBananas wrote: »

When I was younger I used drink naggins of vodka the odd time before going out. One time I went to Tesco but they had no ordinary naggins, only double naggins. I decided to get one of those and only drank half of it. Well, inevitably I ended up drinking the whole thing. There were a few of us drinking in one of my friends house and one of the lads who was not drinking gave us a lift to town.

I was sitting in the back with the window open fully and my head out enjoying the air rushing past my face as the car sped along on the outskirts of the city centre. Now here's the really retarded bit. I decided that it would be a laugh to climb on top of the roof. So quick as a flash I climbed out of the windowand twisted my body around to grab onto the roof in order to haul myself out of the car. At this point my friends in the back seat started screaming and grabbed onto my legs to keep me in the car. So here I was half in and half out the window and I swivelled around and there right in front of me me on the opposite side of the street was a garda on foot patrol with his mouth wide open starting at me.

Suddenly I came to and realised wtf I was up to. I jump back into the car whilst hearing the garda shouting at us to stop. I remember in a low voice just saying "Drive damn it, drive!" to my friend who thankfully complied.

The sense of shame the next morning was only trumped by the realisation that I came really close to killing myself through sheer stupidity.

I haven't drunk a naggin since.

few naggins...be grand!

Hal Emmerich

I was watching Car Rallying on TV few years back and there was a segment on how the drivers operated the pedals, left foot for brake and clutch, right foot for accelerator only and how it took years to master.

"Hmph, that doesn't look to hard" I say.:rolleyes:

So the next time I hopped in to the Car I was just up the road and tried out the braking with the left foot and "POW", totally over pressed it and ended up face palming the windscreen.:o I was only doing 35ish! Lucky no one saw.

DON'T TRY THIS!!

fasttalkerchat

Hal Emmerich wrote: »

I was watching Car Rallying on TV few years back and there was a segment on how the drivers operated the pedals, left foot for brake and clutch, right foot for accelerator only and how it took years to master.

"Hmph, that doesn't look to hard" I say.:rolleyes:

So the next time I hopped in to the Car I was just up the road and tried out the braking with the left foot and "POW", totally over pressed it and ended up face palming the windscreen.:o I was only doing 35ish! Lucky no one saw.

DON'T TRY THIS!!

I challenged myself to drive using only my left foot once. Same result.

Ledger

Hal Emmerich wrote: »

I was watching Car Rallying on TV few years back and there was a segment on how the drivers operated the pedals, left foot for brake and clutch, right foot for accelerator only and how it took years to master.

"Hmph, that doesn't look to hard" I say.:rolleyes:

So the next time I hopped in to the Car I was just up the road and tried out the braking with the left foot and "POW", totally over pressed it and ended up face palming the windscreen.:o I was only doing 35ish! Lucky no one saw.

DON'T TRY THIS!!

yeah, I've done that too........not very good to the ego......

SIBERIA

Recently my xbox360 was making strange noises so i decided to pick it up and shake it... while there was a brand new game in the disc drive. The noise quickly turned to screeches. The results, minus a €60 brand new game. it looked like someone took a compass to the disc and decided to do some technical drawing on it. I was freaked.

Blobby George

Cheated on my wife.

Hal Emmerich

Blobby George wrote: »

Cheated on my wife.

TUT TUT

LOCK THE THREAD.

donalg1

emmabee wrote: »

A ginger rejecting the ride? Talk about looking a gift horse in the mouth

+1

Loopie

I don't know if I could say this was the most retarded thing I've done in my entire life, but I'm always beign reminded of my blistering stupidity in this case.

My ex went off travelling for a few weeks, first stop Amsterdam. So I thought I'd be all funny and send him a text in Dutch. Without a word of Dutch in my vocab repetoire. For some fcuked up reason, I thought I could change the language in my phone and whatever I put in the text, would be dramatically turned to Dutch. Obviously this didn't happen. What did happen was I was left with a phone where the menu options were in a foreign language and I couldn't find the way to change the language back to "automatic". Complete brain fart that I'm slagged about to this day!

nermal15

Went to the ATM, took out twenty euro, took my card, walked happily to the Chinese...loudly announced as I walked in the door "I left my twenty euro in the ATM!!!"

Urgh.

jaffacakesyum

I was a really stupid kid...

I once tried to invent magic tricks and I put a piece of paper around my finger and stapled it to my finger. Don't even know what I was trying to achieve But man it hurt and there was blood everywhere :eek:

I also once got a hold of a bottle of methylated spirits and decided to wash my hands with it Luckily I didn't rub my eyes afterwards or try drink the stuff lol

Oh, I also thought I could fly as a kid. We had swings out back which resulted in numerous injuries :pac:

Mance Rayder

Ultimate Freudian slip

I was in a chinese fastfood takaway, the kind with the open Kitchen and lots of staff. Everyone bar me and my brother were asian.

When the Chinese guy behind the counter handed Me my food I waved to the staff as I tried to say "Cheers" and "Thanks" at the same time, I shouted "CH i NKS" .

It didnt go down well...:o

True story, im not racist , so don't ban me.:D

**Timbuk2**

Sierra Oscar wrote: »

Another was to stand on a septic tank concrete slab cover only to discover that they tend to crack right down the middle when you do so, so I fell right in. Luckily the tank was newly installed at the time (flooded with water though), otherwise I probably wouldn't be around to tell the story. :eek:

:eek: The exact same thing happened to me two years ago. It was my granny's septic tank and it was there for years and the concrete was all worn down. It was very lucky that I managed to grab onto the edge with my hands without falling the whole way in, and that my brother and my friend were there to pull me out.

I had to hose myself off outside the house before I was allowed in, and it took about 4 consecutive showers to ever feel clean again.

annascott

Get pregnant

tan11ie

Work for an employer.

ToddyDoody

Shooting an archery arrow through a window or repeatedly getting chewing gum stuck in my hair or on the back of my neck