What's the most retarded thing you've done in your entire life?

Birneybau

Bob the Builder wrote: »

Met a girl I really liked and we were going to get with each other. Both really nervous so nothing happened. Haven't stopped liking her since.

Birneybau wrote: »

Can you fix it?

Probably not...

RefulgentGnomon wrote: »

What's this a reference to?

Way to quote me out of context.

RefulgentGnomon

Birneybau wrote: »

Way to quote me out of context.

Can't multi-quote!

Daysha

A couple of years ago I let my provisional license expire. I applied for a new theory test, assuming I had to do it again to get a new license. I failed, re-applied and eventually passed a few months ater. Went into the tax office to send off the application form when the girl told me I never had to re-sit the test in the first place.

January

jimthemental wrote: »

Sober: Was rotivating at home and drove halfway across the field with the machine in the ground and the PTO off. Gave an hour with a shovel digging it out far enough to drive out.

Drunk: Slipped on ice last christmas and ****ed up my shoulder for life.

RTE man is that you?

Princess Peach

Kimono-Girl wrote: »

ah you beat me to it!!











....i hope its not the same guy? :eek:

Sadly, I'm sure there's more than one in the country.

adrieanne__x

adrieanne__x wrote: »

RTE man is that you?

LOL 1st thing that came to my head.

Most retarded thing me and some mates did when about 15 in southern France when we got some repeater fireworks and decided to set them off at 1 in the day on a packed beach.

Mate shoots 1 into the air, lands in the dunes, next thing the whole beach is going up in flames. Men women and children running to the sea with buckets trying to help put out the fire.

Am now banned from France. :pac:

kylith

Fizman wrote: »

Breaking into a building site and climbing a crane at 3am whilst being quite drunk would have to rank as one of the sillier things I've done in my life tbh.

That's more common than I thought; a bloke I used to know did the same. I think he had a nice sleep up there too.

When I was about 6 I used to lick unplugged jacks (like for headphones) because the static electricity tingled. One day I didn't realise that what was in my hand, and what went into my mouth, was plugged in. That cured me of that habit.

homerun_homer

Watched Fade Street.

mikemac

Parked the family car and went into the shops.

Came out of the shops and hopped into the wrong car which was unlocked. Same make, same model and colour. I was in a bit of a daze, distracted over something.

Got straight out of there. Owner never saw me and probably would thought I was stealing it

i57dwun4yb1pt8

smoke cigarettes

jimthemental

adrieanne__x wrote: »

RTE man is that you?

If only, that lad definitely had more dignity.

Funky Kingston

The most retarded ....

I went to Canada

Keith186

I was in transition year and doing some office work experience in Down Syndrome Ireland in Bluebell.

I sent an email after the two weeks to the manager to thank them for the chance to work there.

Did the worst typo ever signing off and instead of 'Kind regards' I typed 'Kind retards' by mistake and sent it. Dam spell checker didn't stop it either!
Never got a response back to the email, they just have thought I was completely taking the piss!!

take everything

OutlawPete wrote: »

Queued last week for over an hour to renew my driving licence only to find out it had two years left on it

Brilliant.

babyoncocaine

''Shopping with my Dad in M&S on Henry Street, I was about 5 or 6. Anyway, got lost as you do, ran around looking for him, saw him and ran up and banged my head against his belly while shouting "Dad, you're getting really fat". I look up, it's not my Dad, some complete stranger, who I just called fat and possibly winded. ''

is that you :eek:

BraziliaNZ

Got married

MultiUmm

Wasted loads and loads of opportunities presented to me. Being too cautious is just as bad, if not worse than being reckless.

mojesius

babyoncocaine wrote: »

is that you :eek:

As far as I know, it is me.

kerash

feelingstressed wrote: »

Parked the family car and went into the shops.

Came out of the shops and hopped into the wrong car which was unlocked. Same make, same model and colour. I was in a bit of a daze, distracted over something.

Got straight out of there. Owner never saw me and probably would thought I was stealing it

followed the instructions in your sig:pac:

alwaysadub

I just poured boiling water from the kettle onto the palm of my hand instead of onto the scrubbing brush. Fcuking OW! :mad:

Quandary

1. Went out to walk the dog one day, I was the only one in the house with a key so I left the key under the mat.

I then thought it would be really helpful to write a note that said - "Taking Sam for a walk, the key is under the mat"

That was over 10 years ago & i still get slagged for it.

2. My brother and I both got our tongues stuck in two pub glass coke bottles. Luckily I managed to pull mine out before it swelled up too much. Brother had to go to the ER.

3. I dared my brother to see how far he could shove a frozen pea up his nose. Another trip to the doctor - doctor just made him wait till it defrosted and he was able to sneeze/blow it down :pac:

4. I had rented out a Sega Megadrive (yes, that long ago) and was cycling back to the video shop (yes that long ago too) to return it. While cycling through the town in broad daylight, I somehow got transfixed on the gearwheels of my bike spinning around and cycled into the back of a parked car at decent speed. Megadrive fell out of its case and spun across the road, I ended up on the roof of the car - I can still hear the people laughing. On the plus side the megadrive didnt break, every cloud and all that!

5. Finally, climbed countless trees up so high I that I got too scared to climb down. My father used to have to call my cousin to climb up and coax me down. In one particular case I was stuck up a tree for almost 2 hours.


Ssshhhhhhhh, my g/f doesnt know what kind of gene pool she's after hooking up to...

Bb4sure

Drank myself into a awful mess, back to a house party and done a ole pee in my pants while half awake in a drunken haze. There was some narcotics involved aswell which probaly didn't add any postive to avoiding that situation! PLUS I was farting like a good thing so not only did I pee in my pants I smelled like I had a solid sitting in my bottoms aswell. Much to the bemusement to my fellow party goers.. ah god that comes back to haunt me alot.:rolleyes:

Duggy747

Got a day off work (voluntary work, no illegal shenanagens with me :pac:) today so I could sign on at the social office. I had to do other stuff like have an eye exam, throw my application in for my provisional license, go to FÀS, etc.

After I did all that I went home, come around 4:30 I realised I forgot to sign on. :mad:

Lovely, no money for 2 weeks now! What a dumbass! *slaps forehead*

---

Last time I was out at my mates house we were drinking cans. By the time I had my 2nd I decided to go out the back garden for a smoke where I met his father sitting on the bench doing the same. Anyways, the dog was playing with a ball and it rolled towards me. I kicked it, walked backwards, tripped and fell on top of the mate's father.

Now I'm not talking about stumbling, I mean arms wobbling all over the place and landing awkardly on top of him. It's the type of fall that you try to stop happening but end up making it worse............like a bit sitcom piece.............if only

I stumble back up to my feet horrifed, look back at him and he just sat there...........staring into the moon smoking his fag as if it never happened.

Needless to say I threw my fag away, went inside, got my cans, left and have never returned to the house. He'd destroy me with insults if I ever returned :pac:

Ganymede Glow

Met a lovely girl in Portugal a few years back, she was gorgeous and I was mad for her. Anyway we're sitting in the bar and she is chewing gum while im sitting there plotting a move to get stuck in. So she turns around and says to me "would you like a chewing gum?". I say yeah go on i'll have one, so she says "come and get it" and sticks the chewing gum between her teeth.

My response? Being a complete an utter tool I grab the chewing gum from her mouth with my hand and just slip it into my mouth, to which there was an arkward silence and she just shook her head and laughed at me:o . Felt like a complete gob****e since I had been plotting a move all night! Needless to say we ended up together later on anyway:P

Retardism of the highest order!

df1985

feelingstressed wrote: »

Parked the family car and went into the shops.

Came out of the shops and hopped into the wrong car which was unlocked. Same make, same model and colour. I was in a bit of a daze, distracted over something.

Got straight out of there. Owner never saw me and probably would thought I was stealing it

Did something similar years back when i was getting picked up from school. seen what i thought was my mams car, same model, same colour. hopped in the back, "hi mam" , looked up.......some random woman.

got out of the car to all my mates in stitches.

kwalshe

was aged about 10 and in nutgrove sc and checking a new fancy cycling cap (like the ones sean kelly used to wear ) they had, it was real slick and low profile.
I struggled to put that b@stard on for 10 mins until the shop owner came over and told me it was a saddle cover

Duff

kwalshe wrote: »

was aged about 10 and in nutgrove sc and checking a new fancy cycling cap (like the ones sean kelly used to wear ) they had, it was real slick and low profile.
I struggled to put that b@stard on for 10 mins until the shop owner came over and told me it was a saddle cover

Genuine lol!

MardiB

Told someone who I know posts on afterhours that I posted in a specific thread. We were having a few drinks and I was laughing about the thread. Little did I know that my user name was about as difficult to work out as foundation level maths..... upshot was I got interweb violated:eek: I feel dirty and used......

Demonique

I love how un-PC boards is, on LiveJournal you'd have been dogpiled for using the word 'retarded' (Apparently 'moron' is out too)

SIX PACK

I had a bad dose of ADHD as a kid in 90's which went Undiagnosed, Did some really crazy **** that i dont even know how im here today Obviously my Guardian Angels were watching over me
Walked out in front of cars, Jumped off Bridges, Starting Fights with boys twice my size, Climbing to top of the tallest trees i could find, Crashed a few Cars,
Did some mean stuff also I wont go there, Lets just say iv grown up