What's the most retarded thing you've done in your entire life?

kieranfitz

signed my contract in dunnes 6 years ago. end thread.

Wossack

flutterflye wrote: »

Was I the only one who used to do this all the time as a kid? - finish my yogurt and go to the bin and throw the spoon in the bin instead of the carton by accident, open up a sweet or bar and throw it in the bin instead of the wrapper, sharpen my pencil and throw the pencil or sharpener in the bin instead of the pencil shavings etc...

go to brush my teeth, and almost put a full pump of liquid soap on my brush, at least twice a month

pragmatic1

Went up to a big group of lads and punched the biggest one in the face. Then got the shyte beaten into me for about ten minutes.

tyview

I've spent ages reading through all day and there are some corkers!

Heres one of my many retard moments...

When I was 16/17 I started working in a big department store in Dublin city centre. On Saturday nights we finished 8pm so a big group of us used to go the pub afterwards. Anyway one saturday evening I ran up the locker room at 8 to get changed and dolled up cos the fella I was absolutely mad on was coming out with us. It took about half an hour and us girls were coming down the escalators together to find all the fellas waiting for us eager to get out the door for a pint. I was too busy eyeing the fella, didnt watch where I was going and didnt see the cleaning lady, stepped off the escalator in a lovely pair of heels and mini dress and went flying, and I mean flying. Not on my bum, straight onto all fours! Oh how I got the p!ss taken out of me for weeks after.....

(I really hope none of them read this...)

daithieoghan

I met a girl one night and stayed in hers after loads of beer.
Sadly we had the same phone with the same ringtone and I answered a phone at 10am in a hungover haze and couldn't figure out how the guy on the other end got my number and why he was accusing me of stealing his girlfriends phone.
I did eventually figure it out and so did he. I promptly hung up and legged it.

Gophur

Aoifey! wrote: »

When I was 25 or 26 I was at my brother's confirmation, and we were sitting up near the front of the church. I guess I thought the kids getting confirmed were getting too much attention so I stood up on the seat in front of everyone and pulled my pretty little dress over my head so people'd pay attention to me. Mother wasn't too pleased to say the least

:eek::eek::eek:

Gunslinger92

I threw my credit in the bin outside the shop instead of the receipt once.

shellib

Tripped over a blind mans stick, left him on the ground while I got up and ran away!!! :eek:

wp_rathead

Anyone else when at the Tesco Self-Service checkouts ever put Notes in the Voucher slot instead of Insert Cash? Happened to me twice (once a 10er once a €50), always when a queue behind me- staff never to impressed when have to open up the device

phill106

wprathead wrote: »

Anyone else when at the Tesco Self-Service checkouts ever put Notes in the Voucher slot instead of Insert Cash? Happened to me twice (once a 10er once a €50), always when a queue behind me- staff never to impressed when have to open up the device

Happened to me the first time i used it

seXmym0nkey

Poured a bowl of cereal... Without checking to see if we had milk...

boomkatalog

I tried to stand up once without realising my legs were still crossed, banged my face off the radiator as a result.

I'm always trying to get out of the car with my seatbelt still on too

Flaker

One of the first times I wore heels, I had borrowed a pair of skyscrapers off my sister. I could barely walk in them. So went to cross the street but the lights went green. The first car was a cop car and the driver very kindly waved me across. Yes you can see whats coming! I tried to run in my very high heels and fell flat on my face. Literally spread eagled across. the road. I jumped up and ran (limped) for my life, the sound of 2 gardai laughing following me. I'd say I made their night. Was honestly waiting for the CCTV footage to end up on Youtube. And I cracked a bone in my knee. Still hurts if I kneel down. Good job I don't go to mass too often...

Doylers

Wondering does it hurt to touch one of these spinning

http://modelenginenews.org/techniques/images/cd_camg5.jpg


I can confirm it does

claire983

Replacing an ink cartridge in a printer and looking at it thinking "where does the white in go"..

superstoner90

claire983 wrote: »

Replacing an ink cartridge in a printer and looking at it thinking "where does the white in go"..

Dont you mean "white go in" ? That can be the next one on your list.:p

Ken.

A few years ago while working in Waterford I hurt my hand on site and had to go get stitched up at the hospital. When i got there there was a guy with wads of bandages around his foot but his boot was still on. My foreman new the guy's foreman and they got chatting outside.

Turns out the guy with the bandages had bet others on his site that the steel to cap in a pair of work boots would stop a nail from an air powered air gun. Nothing would persuade him to take off the boot and do it. We were all laughing about it including nail gun guy. Found out later he had to have the toe next to the big toe on his right foot amputated.

superstoner90

lucyfur09 wrote: »

A few years ago while working in Waterford I hurt my hand on site and had to go get stitched up at the hospital. When i got there there was a guy with wads of bandages around his foot but his boot was still on. My foreman new the guy's foreman and they got chatting outside.

Turns out the guy with the bandages had bet others on his site that the steel to cap in a pair of work boots would stop a nail from an air powered air gun. Nothing would persuade him to take off the boot and do it. We were all laughing about it including nail gun guy. Found out later he had to have the toe next to the big toe on his right foot amputated.

Ah SNAP!

Oscars Well.

superstoner90 wrote: »

Dont you mean "white go in" ? That can be the next one on your list.:p

I presume she meant "white ink go" :P

Cathquig

Was driving some friends home from a night out when one makes a mad dash to the car, gets her hands on the door handle and yells "Shotgun!"

Only to realise she was on the drivers side. We nearly died laughing

petebricquette

Many very stupid drunk things but one stands out in particular:

I was at a friend's party, had a fair few and was texting my then girlfriend who was heading away a few days later. I got it into my head that it'd be incredibly romantic to head up to Dublin (from Galway) to see her.
Sprinted to the bus stop with only the clothes on my back. Told the young lady I'd be in Dublin city within a couple of hours and fell asleep. Woke up in Dublin airport. Cost me about 60 quid to get over to her house, her parents arrived home maybe 10 minutes later. Not a great day.

Hank Scorpio

Cathquig wrote: »

Was driving some friends home from a night out when one makes a mad dash to the car, gets her hands on the door handle and yells "Shotgun!"

Only to realise she was on the drivers side. We nearly died laughing

Sounds like a wild night

dipper.meath16

Emm, one that springs to mind, Suicide tequilas, never ever again.. until next time i have the brainwave!!

cazzzzz

When I was about eleven my little brother used to really annoy me. Had a big fight with him one day and decided as revenge I was gonna kick his football into the woods and he would never be able to find it.
Went out to get his football and was getting ready to kick it away, stood back a bit so I could really give it a good kick. Slipped over the ball and broke my wrist...

Needless to say I didn't get my revenge.

cazzzzz

That time I fell on the ice and it was filmed by RTE....

superstoner90

Oscars Well. wrote: »

I presume she meant "white ink go" :P

Must you embarrass me?

Snowie

I think it was, going surfing when possibly it was a bit to big to be out surfing I didn't get my ass kicked but I got the message...

Brain Stroking

AnneFrank wrote: »

read back you'll see i like the thread !!I just think another word could be used thats all !!Not everyone has the same opinion as you guys is that sooooo hard to accept !

I find your username quite offensive. Can you change it please?

yesno1234

There's a lake that dries up in the summer near where we live. When I was young my brother was going checking some thing out in the dried up lake, he told me not to follow him, anyways I followed him and my feet got stuck in the mud, I tried to lift my feet but they wouldn't budge then I tried to get my wellies off but I couldn't so my brother had to go home and get my father to come up and pull me out of the wellies, never did get them back either.:o

It was very distressing at the time, therapy didn't work either, I used to have dreams in which I couldn't move my feet:(:pac:

cloud493

Not strictly me, but I was about 12, I got a lift home with my friend, his mum was driving. I got in the right side, my friend opened the left side then his mum said to get in the front, so he left the door open. When I said to his mum 'do you want me to close the door?' she said 'no the wind'll close it' so she started the car, accelerating down the road, smashed the open door into a lampost.