What's the most retarded thing you've done in your entire life?

Goldenegg

Walked into a stop sign and cracked my nose....:cool:

Now in fairness, I was 5. My brother collected me from school and while walking home, he purposly kept talking to me (he could see the stop sign) so I was walking with my head turned towards him and BAM! Bit of a prickish thing to do!

Up-n-atom!

I was zip-lining in Laos in late 2009 and was about to launch myself from the platform when all I could hear was 'Achtung!'...I turned around to see what the fuss was all about, and realised one of my German friends was trying to warn me that my carabiner was wide open, and I almost threw myself into a chasm...needless to say, I could've been a candidate for the Darwin Awards that year:eek:

When I was barely 2 years old I walked out my front gate into the middle a busy road...thankfully, some old man drove up going extra-slow and just beeped until my parents came out and got me. You'll never hear me bitching about stupidly slow drivers on these threads I'll tell ya!

Wibbs

My posts are usuallysometimes hugely long, but I'd beat my personal best if I outlined my life's list of retarded moments.

LenaClaire

Deleted User wrote: »

Actually forgot about this one, made a small mistake in my old job that cost the company the equivalent of one year's salary. Who'd have thought that not sending one email could be so expensive.

My friend was a programmer for banking software. She was testing new software and her boss thought she was done and put it into the production environment - it cost them 3 Million :eek:

zero19

Burnt the finger off myself when i was a young lad testing a boiling hot batch of toffee my aunt made. I was a bit too anxious to try it!

Ledger

Cheeky_gal wrote: »

I counted all points in 7 subjects in the Leaving Cert and went home screaming "I got 440!! i got 440!!" until my brother had a look at them and said "ehhh, you actually got 390, you're only meant to count the best six".



Fcuk it still got the course I wanted.

Done the same myself! was telling everyone i got 405, until after when it dawned on me i only had 365. had people ringing me to congradulate me and i had to correct them and point out my stupidity!


Still like you got the course I wanted too!

MissesMe

saw a glass of apple juice on the kitchen counter when I was younger, thought it was my mothers so decided to sneak a slug when she left the room, after the first gulp i realised it was leftover cooking oil, not nice....

Up-n-atom!

Up-n-atom! wrote: »

I was zip-lining in Laos in late 2009 and was about to launch myself from the platform when all I could hear was 'Achtung!'...I turned around to see what the fuss was all about, and realised one of my German friends was trying to warn me that my carabiner was wide open, and I almost threw myself into a chasm...needless to say, I could've been a candidate for the Darwin Awards that year:eek:

You do the Gibbon? Really regret not goin to it... Will def go back.

coffee_cake

Wibbs wrote: »

My posts are usuallysometimes hugely long, but I'd beat my personal best if I outlined my life's list of retarded moments.

We're waiting :cool:

Aoifey!

MissesMe wrote: »

saw a glass of apple juice on the kitchen counter when I was younger, thought it was my mothers so decided to sneak a slug when she left the room, after the first gulp i realised it was leftover cooking oil, not nice....

I was imagining a much worse end to that story :rolleyes:

Michael 09

Aoifey! wrote: »

I was imagining a much worse end to that story :rolleyes:

Me too... sounds like cooking oil is by no means the worst thing that it could have been!

phill106

Aoifey! wrote: »

I was imagining a much worse end to that story :rolleyes:

Don't like oil?
Better drink me own Piss!....

BloodRedRose

It's probably very common but i walked into a pole... yeah...:o I was walking on a straight path with nothing blocking my view and i walked straight into the pole, thank god noone was there to see!!

Tom Cruises Left Nut

BloodRedRose wrote: »

It's probably very common but i walked into a pole... yeah...:o I was walking on a straight path with nothing blocking my view and i walked straight into the pole, thank god noone was there to see!!

Did he give out to you for walking into him ?

howyanow

was drunk at a trad sesiion in a pub once and i fell back onto an elderly gentleman acordion player's lap mid tune,not good,i was in convulsions laughing but i stopped the whole hooley at its peak!

Trog

Looked at Boards again in 4th year of college.

snorlax

spent too many years on boards

dory

When I was 12 I broke my arm trying to stop a car rolling down a hill and into a wall by placing myself between the wall and the car.

ROCKMAN

Pupito wrote: »

Had a momentous brain-fart as a seven-year-old. I judged my bladder was full, so instead of going to the toilet I walked out to the kitchen, lifted up the bin-lid and peed in there. I saw nothing wrong with what I was doing until my father walked in and clipped me round the ear.

Genghiz Cohen wrote: »

Oh!
My!
Fudging!
Science!

You just reminded me, I did the same thing!
With the same results

Done the same myself , but at 40... fcuk all my dad could say ...


The Wife on the other hand.........................

jugger0

dory wrote: »

When I was 12 I broke my arm trying to stop a car rolling down a hill and into a wall by placing myself between the wall and the car.

I hope you got the medal of honour.

reallyrose

Walking along one day, not paying attention to where I was going. I bumped into the GPO. And apologised to it!

Trog

Pupito wrote: »

Had a momentous brain-fart as a seven-year-old. I judged my bladder was full, so instead of going to the toilet I walked out to the kitchen, lifted up the bin-lid and peed in there. I saw nothing wrong with what I was doing until my father walked in and clipped me round the ear.

My cousin did this at school when we were 10ish. He got suspended for it.

Dark Phoenix

was working for a company and erased a tape instead of updating it and deleted the companies entire euro conversion project - oops. It cost them 1500 pounds to get the tape fixed and stopped the project for two weeks although in my defense they should have had a back up copy!

also managed to crack myself in the face between the eyes with a champagne cork and had a bruised face for days the shame of it

Cheeky_gal

Phoned up Dominos on Monday ...

Me: Hi can I get two medium sized pepperoni passions please?

Dominos: Yep no problem, Anything else?

Me: Yeh can I actually go half n half on that?

Dominos: Sure, what would you like on the other half?

Me: Texas bbq please.

Dominos: Ok, so two medium pizzas, pepperoni passion on one half and texas bbq on the other?

Me: Yeh thanks!

Dominos: Ok it'll be there in 30 mins.

Me: Ok cool, by the way thats 2 for 1 cuz it's Tuesday isn't it?

Dominos: Eh it's not Tuesday love...

Me: What?

Dominos: It's Monday.

Me: **Cancel Order**

BizzyC

Cheeky_gal wrote: »

Phoned up Dominos on Monday ...

Me: Hi can I get two medium sized pepperoni passions please?

Dominos: Yep no problem, Anything else?

Me: Yeh can I actually go half n half on that?

Dominos: Sure, what would you like on the other half?

Me: Texas bbq please.

Dominos: Ok, so two medium pizzas, pepperoni passion on one half and texas bbq on the other?

Me: Yeh thanks!

Dominos: Ok it'll be there in 30 mins.

Me: Ok cool, by the way thats 2 for 1 cuz it's Tuesday isn't it?

Dominos: Eh it's not Tuesday love...

Me: What?

Dominos: It's Monday.

Me: **Cancel Order**

Ignoring the day mixup, why buy two half pepperoni, half bbq?
Why not just order 1 pepperoni, 1 bbq?

Ledger

BizzyC wrote: »

Ignoring the day mixup, why buy two half pepperoni, half bbq?
Why not just order 1 pepperoni, 1 bbq?

just what i was thinking :pac:

Cheeky_gal

BizzyC wrote: »

Ignoring the day mixup, why buy two half pepperoni, half bbq?
Why not just order 1 pepperoni, 1 bbq?

You looked too deep into that.
One was for me, one was for my brother.
We each had our own box, no messing around/cutting pizza required.

Genghiz Cohen

It comes cut...

**Timbuk2**

The worst was probably when I was 13. I found a toy scooter in the garage from my childhood, and had to go on it (those ones where you push yourself forward with one leg). Alas the thing was all rusty and worn down, just as I was taking a corner, a screw came out, it fell apart, I fell to the ground and seriously hurt my wrist. I left it for the day to see if the pain would go away, but ended up going to hospital - it was fractured, out of place, and I needed to get surgery to get it fixed, and be in a cast for 6 weeks.

It was made a lot more embarrassing by all the doctors and nurses constantly asking me how it happened.
Me: "I fell off a scooter"
Doctor: "What size engine was it?"
Me: " .... eh... it was a toy scooter.. no engine ... "

Sam Vimes

Read the first two pages of this thread before I got a sense of deja vu and realised I'd already read it when it was first posted in November