What's the most retarded thing you've done in your entire life?

liah

When I was 5 or so, there used to be a stool outside the back door where I would sit to take my shoes off before coming inside the house. On the other side, there was a cactus.

One day, my mother decided to switch the two, didn't think to tell me because it was obvious enough if you just looked towards the door. Thing is, I didn't, and sat down with gusto onto the cactus.

My mother could barely contain herself as she hoisted me (half naked, no less, as if the shame wasn't bad enough already) up on the kitchen table in order to pull the quills out of my ass, me wailing at the top of my lungs from the pain and yelling at her to stop laughing at me.

Not my finest moment..

Fart

liah wrote: »

When I was 5 or so, there used to be a stool outside the back door where I would sit to take my shoes off before coming inside the house. On the other side, there was a cactus.

One day, my mother decided to switch the two, didn't think to tell me because it was obvious enough if you just looked towards the door. Thing is, I didn't, and sat down with gusto onto the cactus.

My mother could barely contain herself as she hoisted me (half naked, no less, as if the shame wasn't bad enough already) up on the kitchen table in order to pull the quills out of my ass, me wailing at the top of my lungs from the pain and yelling at her to stop laughing at me.

Not my finest moment..

J0or Ma... was half naked? :eek:

liah

Fart wrote: »

J0or Ma... was half naked? :eek:

No, I was, in order to remove the quills.

Perv!

Fart

liah wrote: »

No, I was, in order to remove the quills.

Perv!

Pics or it didn't happen. You know the rules.

Blitzkrieger

Erm - you just asked for pics of a half naked kid? It's the right thread I suppose.

Ledger

Klair88 wrote: »

me and mates went in on some green, a nice amount so we said we'd roll a fatty to get us all cabbaged, rolled a tulip http://www.weedfarmer.com/joint_rolling/tulip/tulip-joint.htm with the plastic part of a pen to inhale, put the pen too far into the tulip and smoked lovely plastic for 5 mins. Didnt notice the black smoke stream from the end and all 4 of us coughed our black lungs up. From then on i substitute the plastic pen with a 3skinner! Much better.

Cabbaged? that's a new one......

L'prof

Ledger wrote: »

Cabbaged? that's a new one......

Or old one......

blaze1

there'd be a few,

Drunk: the most painfull thing was kicking a telephone poll as if i was scoring the winning goal at a world cup. that really hurt.

Kidnapping the blind guy probably takes the biscuit tho

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?p=69586675

Cupcake_Crisis

Started smoking. Braindead.

Ninjedi

So many choices from my errant deeds...this one, I think, has a number of different levels of retardation you may appreciate.

When I was 16 or 17 I was at a party down the far side of the county, didn't really know anyone too well so got hammered (flagons of cider, yyyeaaaahhhh) and proceeded to do my firebreathing trick to entertain the masses, which involved huffing enough lighter fluid (the gas stuff not zippojuice) to still have enough left upon exhalation to light. Just to point out the extreme stupidity this can kill anyone but...I have asthma. Everytime I put that damn lighter fluid tin to my lips I was risking more or less instant death.

Anyway later on I got drunk enough to forget to tilt my head back and scorched most of the hair off my face. I still remember the feeling as I ran my hand over my upper face to check the damage and my eyelashes and eyebrows crumbled into ash and fell off.

Then later on I was so wasted I passed out on the couch but I still remember waking up as someone turned me onto my side and told me that I had nearly choked to death from trying to get/getting sick. Funny thing is they turned me on my side towards the back of the couch so once I could get sick guess where it all went...

Never got invited back there

watna

Once at school, I hit the ball back in to my face when we were playing rounders and gave myself a black eye. I wasn't allowed forget that in a hurry. It looked like I'd put purple eyeshadow on one eye only for weeks afterwards.

Lanaier

Demonique wrote: »

I love how un-PC boards is, on LiveJournal you'd have been dogpiled for using the word 'retarded' (Apparently 'moron' is out too)

Seriously?, when I first signed on I was kind of shocked at how strict is it here.
Still feels quite rigid to be honest.

Guess I'll never go to livejournal then.

Moist Gee Flaps

I once purchased a warm apple pie after wathcing American Pie and ehhhh, we'll leave it at that, but all I will say is that I left it in the microwave too long and it burnt my bell end

Nolanger

Was in Dunnes late at night about 7:45 PM. Bought ice-cream but the price charged at the automatic till was higher than the price tag on the shelf. Went up to the customers' service desk but no-one was there. After a few minutes got fed up waiting so picked up the microphone and said 'Manager to service desk. Will the manager please go to the customer services desk.' About three members of staff rushed over and asked was that me? I said 'no' and then got my spare money back.

paky

i robbed my friends scooter while i was intoxicated on vodka and ecstasy and drove around limerick pulling down wheely bins with my friend on the back. both of us were wearing no helmets and it was my first time driving a scooter. we ended up driving home on the motorway. it was one of the stupidist things i had ever done

Laalaaa

My mate once went to brush his teeth without his glasses on, not realising that his mam had been in the bathroom before him rubbing deep heat into her neck and left the tube in the same place the toothpaste is usually kept...fun times!

sunflower27

I tried internet dating - never again. And no, I don't recommend it to people either. It is scary out there :eek::eek:

Caveman1

Took a scut on a trailer of a corpo tractor at halloween, when I jumped off I fell and fractured my wrist, pretty stupid but at least I didnt have to collect any more wood for the bonfire

Knight who says Meh

Voluntarily became Downes Syndrome.:rolleyes:

Ally Dick

sunflower27 wrote: »

I tried internet dating - never again. And no, I don't recommend it to people either. It is scary out there :eek::eek:

Depends on whether you are a bloke or a girl

jugger0

Was at a birthday party, i had a wine glass... whenever i hold a wine glass for some reason i squeeze it, i dont know why! its a really bad habit but this time i couldn't resist the urge and really squeezed the life out of it, it broke in my hand and it cut me to ribbons, everyone was like "what the hell did you do that for" i honestly don't know

Any one else get these retarded urges?

CardBordWindow

One of those small 5 litre kegs was thrown to me before. In my drunken state, I thought it was a good idea to head butt it. THought I'd get the side.

I didn't.

Have a scar on my forehead since!

pappyodaniel

When I was a kid I really wanted a dog but all we had was a stupid cat who hung around our back garden waiting to be fed. I was really bored one day and decided to put a rope around his neck and bring him for a walk, just like a dog.

Well the cat wasn't too receptive to this idea and he started to struggle, he became increasingly pissed off and started darting away and jumping into the air thus tightening the 'noose' around his neck.

I tried to take off the rope but he scratched at which time I let go. He legged it out on to the road in a panic and got hit with a car, I felt awful at the time and I remember my parents and neighbours looking at me like I was a potential/future psycho who might go on a killing spree.

flutterflye

pappyodaniel wrote: »

When I was a kid I really wanted a dog but all we had was a stupid cat who hung around our back garden waiting to be fed. I was really bored one day and decided to put a rope around his neck and bring him for a walk, just like a dog.

Well the cat wasn't too receptive to this idea and he started to struggle, he became increasingly pissed off and started darting away and jumping into the air thus tightening the 'noose' around his neck.

I tried to take off the rope but he scratched at which time I let go. He legged it out on to the road in a panic and got hit with a car, I felt awful at the time and I remember my parents and neighbours looking at me like I was a potential/future psycho who might go on a killing spree.

I'm sad now

I remember my parents and neighbours giving me looks for weeks too when I was 8.
Not nearly as bad as the cat thing though.
There was a skip full of rubble on our road, so I spent the whole day throwing it at walls, roads, houses, cars etc...
The previous week, I had painted my next door neighbours house with brown paint.

Stoopid kids are stoopid.

Azureus

Lived down a really dark laneway with no streetlights for awhile and had reflectors at the front of the gate so we could see where the house was when we were driving up to it.
I got a new bike and was cycling home one night without a light on my bike so couldnt see the reflectors and had a tricky time seeing the house entrance. Wasn't thinking and went into my boyfriend and said ''here will you go out and change the batteries in them reflectors outside,I couldnt see a thing cycling up to it there!''.

He has never let me live it down.

DEFTLEFTHAND

Was signing a driving licence form in the garda station and spelt my name wrong. I was too ashamed to say anything so I just left it.

adocholiday

2 things. Shopping with my da when I was about 10. He asks if we had passed the coffee. I ran off and 15 mins later he finds me and 2 shop assistants looking for pasta coffee!

Another time shopping with my da on way into Tesco I was looking at the disabled parking bays. Then I said why do they park their wheelchairs there...won't they be stolen. My da never laughed so much!

Mild childish things but retarded nonetheless!

Karona

When I was about 9, I was dancing around my living room to the Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles theme tune and decided that ontop of a stool was the best place to dance, but me being me and dancing like a maniac, I fell and dislocated my shoulder.

Another time I was in Spain on holidays and as we were walking along I was too busy being nosey and looking into a hotel's swimming pool with a load of good looking guys jumping in and I walked smack bang into a pole. I had a huge bump on my forehead for the rest of the holiday.

I also fractured my wrist playing the drums.... don't ask me how... I still don't know.

epgc3fyqirnbsx

Manhood tests in college. We'd quinch cigarettes in our arms
Now have scars that make me look like I was into self harming...

wyndham

Karona wrote: »

When I was about 9, I was dancing around my living room to the Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles theme tune and decided that ontop of a stool was the best place to dance, but me being me and dancing like a maniac, I fell and dislocated my shoulder.

Heroes in a halfshell! TURTLE POWER!!