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Single mum

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  • 15-11-2010 4:50pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    I am here to see if anyone has been in my situation or if anyone has any advice as the people who are close to me are very bias.

    Im a single mum of a 15 year old boy who im so proud of he has done so well in everything that he has done, gets on great in school, in his sports clubs and has a large circle of friends.

    But... in the last couple of weeks he has been asking about his father. His father and I split up when he was a month old. he was given 3 chances to see his son and I was told "im not ready for this i will be in touch when I am"

    I have not changed my phone number, I have moved house but my family home has not chanced, so im not that hard to find.

    I am so scared that this man will reject my son if he was to contact him, I found it hard when he was a month old and do not want my son to feel that!!

    Before all the Fathers rights men start at me I have done everything for my son without his fathers input.

    Do I risk my son of geting hurt by rejection or do I hope that he will not reject him and they can build a relationship?

    I have made contact with my sons grandmother to ask her to contact me but i've had no reply.


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    #2
    Ickle Magoo
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,485 ✭✭✭✭Ickle Magoo


    Moved to Parenting...


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    #3
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Ickle Magoo wrote: »
    Moved to Parenting...

    Thank you, I wasn't sure where to put the thread :)


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    #4
    Nevyn
    Closed Accounts Posts: 43,045 ✭✭✭✭Nevyn


    Well what have you told him about his Dad over the years?
    Are you in contact with your son's other set of grand parents?
    Have you a photos of him for your son?

    Most kids who don't have one of thier parents around for what ever reason go through this when they hit the teenage years, it's part of figuring out who they are and where they come from.


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    #5
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Thaedydal wrote: »
    Well what have you told him about his Dad over the years?
    Are you in contact with your son's other set of grand parents?
    Have you a photos of him for your son?

    Most kids who don't have one of thier parents around for what ever reason go through this when they hit the teenage years, it's part of figuring out who they are and where they come from.


    Hi :)

    I have had no contact with my sons grand parents only the recent snail mail i sent asking them to contact me (with no reply)
    A photo of his dad was showed to him when he asked a couple of weeks ago.

    And I have had no real reason to tell him anything about his Dad up to now, My son has been told what he did for a living while we were in a relationship, were he lived and that he left when he was very young.

    I think he is just curious about who he is and where he came from and I have no problem with that at all, I would be ok with him getting in touch with his father if I knew that he would no reject my son AGAIN


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    #6
    amiable
    Registered Users Posts: 12,206 ✭✭✭✭amiable


    Guest 101 wrote: »
    I am here to see if anyone has been in my situation or if anyone has any advice as the people who are close to me are very bias.

    Im a single mum of a 15 year old boy who im so proud of he has done so well in everything that he has done, gets on great in school, in his sports clubs and has a large circle of friends.

    But... in the last couple of weeks he has been asking about his father. His father and I split up when he was a month old. he was given 3 chances to see his son and I was told "im not ready for this i will be in touch when I am"

    I have not changed my phone number, I have moved house but my family home has not chanced, so im not that hard to find.

    I am so scared that this man will reject my son if he was to contact him, I found it hard when he was a month old and do not want my son to feel that!!

    Before all the Fathers rights men start at me I have done everything for my son without his fathers input.

    Do I risk my son of geting hurt by rejection or do I hope that he will not reject him and they can build a relationship?

    I have made contact with my sons grandmother to ask her to contact me but i've had no reply.
    I presume the OP is referring to the fathers parents here?


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    #7
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    amiable wrote: »
    I presume the OP is referring to the fathers parents here?

    Yes the fathers parents. Sorry

    My first thread I should have made it clearer :)


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    #8
    amiable
    Registered Users Posts: 12,206 ✭✭✭✭amiable


    Don't apologise, no need. Its a difficult situation for you so its hard to put everything down. People always seem to forget things. Its just human nature. I think you'll get plenty of advice on here. Alot of good advice too. But you will need to trust your instinct too with what to do. You know the whole situation better than anyone and you have your sons best interests.
    If your son is 15 i'd maybe talk to him and explain everything to him and ask him what does he want to do.
    Tell him you'll support him no matter what and it doesn't change how you feel about him. He's a young man now. So i think he might be old enough to make some decisions.
    Best of luck


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