Couple Of Funnies

MonkieSocks

A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, watching his wife, who was looking at herself in the mirror.

Since her birthday was not far off he asked what she'd like to have for her birthday.

'I'd like to be six again', she replied, still looking in the mirror .

On the morning of her Birthday, he arose early, made her a nice big bowl of Lucky Charms, and then took her to Six Flags theme park.

What a day!

He put her on every ride in the park; the Death Slide, the Wall of Fear, the Screaming Roller Coaster, everything there was.

Five hours later they staggered out of the theme park.

Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down.

He then took her to a McDonald's where he ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a chocolate shake.

Then it was off to a movie, popcorn, a soda pop, and her favourite candy, M&M's.

What a fabulous adventure!

Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed exhausted.


He leaned over his wife with a big smile and lovingly asked,

'Well Dear, what was it like being six again?'

Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed.

'I meant my dress size, you fookin retard!!!!'

The moral of the story:

Even when a man is listening, he is going to get it wrong.:rolleyes:

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A guy was in a supermarket when he noticed an old lady following him around.

Whenever he stopped, she stopped, and she also kept staring at him.

She finally overtook him just before the checkout where she turned to him and said:


"I hope I haven’t made you feel uncomfortable - it’s just that you look so much like my late son."

"Oh, that’s ok," he said.

"I know it’s silly," she continued, "but if you called out ’Goodbye, Mother’ as I leave, it would make me ever so happy."

The old lady proceeded through the checkout and as she left the supermarket, the man called out

"Goodbye Mother." The old lady waved back, and kindly smiled.

Pleased he had brought a bit of sunshine to someone’s day the man went to pay for his groceries.

"That’ll be 105 dollars 35," said the clerk.

"How come?" inquired the man. "I’ve only bought a few things!"

"Yeah, but your mother said you’d pay for her..."