Most stupid tourist questions asked!

sensibleken

Standing outside trinity college a friend was approached by an american tourist who asked 'excuse me, could you tell us the way to edinburgh castle'

phill106

John_Rambo wrote: »

I'm always dubious about the American tourist stories of stupidity. Most traveling Americans I meet are sharp enough.

Sure I am one of them, I don't think I am that bad

P_1

Was waiting for a bus on Dame Street, que a large Yank tourist approaching me and asking for Dame.

Bear in mind that I was standing in front of numerous buildings that said 'Business X, Dame Street'.

fontanalis

Where's the Empire State Building?

Johro

American tourist: Why do the crossing lights make that beeping noise?
Me: So blind people know the light's green.
Tourist: Wow.. Back home, we don't allow blind folks to drive.

Sardonicat

At a bus stop waiting for the driver to let us on the doubla decker bus that has been parked up about 10 minutes

"does that bus have an upstairs?"

Senna

I was on a cruise and got talking to the room attendant, he said he gets asked every single trip "Do you sleep here on the ship".

Also a tour bus driver told me about picking up a group of Americans at Shannon, as they were driving along he heard a woman behind him saying "look at the woolly pigs", while pointing at a sheep. It may not be true, but does sound like something a particularly stupid American might say;)

charlemont

"where can a woman get high in Ireland" a real pissed off Swiss tourist asked me but the only reason i was even outside that night is because id nothing to smoke myself, otherwise id have brought her into my gaff for a few smokes..

dxhound2005

American tourist in the GPO Dublin pointing at the statue of Cuchulainn and asking postal worker "Was Coochilian a mail carrier?"

http://www.flickr.com/photos/kman999/160190268/

dvet

My cousin was working as a tour guide in some underground caves (ailwee i think) one summer a while back. She was explaining all about how the caves were discovered etc etc, and an American lady asked her "so were all of these lights here when they discovered the caves?" ...meaning the electrical lights!!
My cousin told her "No, but the stairs were", expecting a laugh - and the woman believed her!!

CHealy

celticbest wrote: »

An American couple on Henry Street stopped a friend of mine & asked for directions to cork & if it would take more then an hour to walk to........

When my friend said you couldn't walk to Cork & it was about a 5 hour drive they replied it looks very close to Dublin on the map..............

I dunno what roads you be taking but last Saturday I made it from Barrack st. in Cork to Heuston station in Dublin in exactly 2 hours and 34 minutes (I timed it like the freak that I am). Granted there was next to no traffic but with the motorway now you could easily make the edge of Cork City to the edge of Dublin city inside 2 hours.

V480

Aussie Tourist: 'Why are so many of the doors in Cork painted red and yellow? Is it to signify whether Catholics or Protestants live there?'


American: 'What do you think of Prince Harry being arrested for drink driving?' (as if he was a member of our royal family)


American: 'I have something to tell you...I believe that I am related to Oliver Cromwell.' Guide informs tourist that Criomwell was not such a popular man in Ireland... 'Well I was told that Cromwell was Spanish and that he liberated Ireland from the tyranny of English oppression.' Que burst of laughter from other tourists on tour.


American: 'How do you Irish get around? I mean, nowhere has any addresses? I guess it's cos you're so small right..'


American: American tourist after his daughter was stung by some nettles in the vacinity of a tourist site... 'How the hell can you have these wild plants growing here?!' Tour guide fetches a dock leaf and attempts to rub the leaf on the girls hand...girls father interjects 'What are you doing, performing some kind of witchcraft??' Father then proceeds to look up 'dock leafs' on his iphone before permitting the 'witch craft' to continue.


I could go on and on...

smck99

Just about two weeks ago in town I heard an American couple ask a taxi driver would he take mastercard?!! :-P

Don't I look stupid now!

OutlawPete

smck99 wrote: »

Just about two weeks ago in town I heard an American couple ask a taxi driver would he take mastercard?!! :-P

Eh, loads of Taxis take Credit Cards.

All taxis using XPert have to for a start and they have around 2000 of the taxis on their books.

smck99

I stand corrected and looking stupid... wouldn't you know I'm a culchie! Don't see a whole lot of the big shmoke...

ToniTuddle

Worked in an Irish restaurant in New York during the summer.

Got constantly asked with a wide eyed expression and open mouth.... "Is that a REAAAAL Irish accent?"

Then they would stare in awe/amazement when I said yes.


Creepy Muthafukaaaaaas!

kincsem

Checking into a hotel in Las Vegas.

Receptionist: Ireland, that's a province of Canada, right?
(male btw)

Me: Eh, no.

Sticky_Fingers

ToniTuddle wrote: »

Worked in an Irish restaurant in New York during the summer.

There are Irish restaurants:eek:

V480

kincsem wrote: »

Checking into a hotel in Las Vegas.

Receptionist: Ireland, that's a province of Canada, right?
(male btw)

Me: Eh, no.

Relative of mine who was living in California was asked if Ireland was 'in Scotland?'

galwayrush

Mate was asked in Galway.. Where's the nearest subway , we want to get to Salthill.

Mate points them to an underground wrecked toilet...:pac:

Barna77

American tourist: "Where's Trinity College?"

Me, points out the big building standing right beside me

Bookworm85

Had a few American relatives home about 4 years ago.

The eldest fella was born in Ireland but emigrated with his parents back in the 60's. He came back to Ireland for a holiday with two of his grandkids who were 18 & 21 IIRC.

Anywho we took a trip to Cork to do a spot of shopping one day. We were standing on Patrick St outside debenhams waiting for the green man so we could cross the road. I pushed the button and then the green man appeared with that beeping noise.

One of the grandkids piped up "Whats that beeping noise for?"

Me: "Its probably for blind people, so they know when its safe to move on to the road."

American Kid: "OMG - Ye let blind people drive here !!! "

Then about a week later we dropped them all back to Shannon for their flight home.

The two grand-kids were disgusted that the vending machines didn't take dollars " It's an American product- Why can't I pay for it using American Dollars?"

fcukin retards

sensibleken

Barna77 wrote: »

American tourist: "Where's Trinity College?"

Me, points out the big building standing right beside me

Thats not stupid. the last time i checked trinity doesnt have flashing 'Trinity College' signs in neon above the door

Also I do have to laugh at people repeating the same stories as personal experiences. the 'you let blind people drive here' for example

John_Rambo

sensibleken wrote: »

Also I do have to laugh at people repeating the same stories as personal experiences. the 'you let blind people drive here' for example

Thank you. Pub talk ****e where people have injected themselves in to the story (as the witty genius of course).

Orando Broom

Kimono-Girl wrote: »

i've met one or two american idiot tourists. i've met hundreds of Americans here that have serious cop on.


if you ask me the only reason they are popping up here so much is because the irish idiots who say these stupid things aren't classed as 'tourists'

I've met plenty of thick Irish ***** too.

Dubs do not know their way round Dublin. You need directions, ask the culchie.

NothingMan

Orando Broom wrote: »

I've met plenty of think Irish ***** too.

Dubs do not know their way round Dublin. You need directions, ask the culchie.

Glass houses, yada yada yada... :pac:

Orando Broom

NothingMan wrote: »

Glass houses, yada yada yada... :pac:

Egads!!!

MardiB

sensibleken wrote: »

Thats not stupid. the last time i checked trinity doesnt have flashing 'Trinity College' signs in neon above the door

Also I do have to laugh at people repeating the same stories as personal experiences. the 'you let blind people drive here' for example

Jesus I cannot agree enough. I swear at least 10 taxidrivers have told me that story expecting me to believe it. Old as the hills:(

SeaFields

A nervous, stressed out looking american chap pulled up beside me on the Ring of Kerry in his rented car.

"Excuse me sir, where is the main road?"

Eh, you're on it bud. :cool:

muracan

My favourite ...when working on a ferry to the Aran Islands I was constantly asked..

"where's the best place to sit so I won't get seasick?"

My reply was consistant...."under an oak tree!!"

Some got the joke ,others didn't.

OutlawPete

American guy asked me where the sidewalk was and I said there's no walking sideways around here mate and then he said ..

.. okay, it never happened, sue me.

Some12

I was in a pub one day and got this from a frustrated American tourist standing at the pub counter:

Yank: "How the hell do you get a damn drink here in Ireland?"

Me: "What do you mean?"

Yank: "The bartender asks me if I'm OK and when I say I'm just fine, he turns his back on me and walks off before I can ask for a Guinness!"

Me: "He's asking if you want anything."

Yank: "No he's not, he keeps asking me if I'm OK!!"

Me: ............

BigDuffman

How are so many people amused by tourists asking for directions?! I mean just because we all know where trinity college is does not mean that Yanks should...I'm sure when a bunch of Irish lads are over in Thailand pointing at a map and gesturing whilst looking for some temple the bemused locals point behind where they are standing and do not "walk off" but smile politely.

LizT

Standing with a friend on Grafton Street on the night of the Trinity Ball. I was in a dress and he was in a tux, loads of people walking towards Trinity were v. dressed up.

An american woman comes up to us and asks us why everyone is dressed up. He replies "It's an Irish tradition to dress up for dinner on a Friday night. We get served quicker in restaurants and bars because they can tell the Irish from the tourists"

Cue questions about where they could go that wouldn't have a dress code...

beanyb

A friend of mine works in a tourist office in Niagara Falls, and has a twitter account just to tweet the stupid things that people ask her. twitter.com/niagarafails

Some of them are great.

"Are the falls running today? I thought they might be off for the holiday."
"What will the conditions on the water be on April 10th of next year?"
"Why don't you use real money?"
"Why isn't Toronto closer to Niagara Falls? I don't want to drive all that way."
"Do I still need a passport I'm just coming a few blocks into Canada?"
"Are the falls frozen?" "No." "Well, I'm coming in this afternoon, do you think they will be by then?"

Fizgig Bandicoot

I was in amsterdam, and an American guy (Josh, travelling alone) decided to attach himself to our group). One of his first questions: 'So, what is there in Ireland?

Saila

while Im abroad [american tourist]

" do you have cars in Ireland?"

I said "no we all ride around on donkeys" :rolleyes: without the obvious sarcasm, they swallowed it, dumbasses.

Brendog

I was working in Shelbourne greyhound stadium the other day. I take bets for people there.
These Germans came in and stood in front of me for 15 mins mumbling to each other. Eventually one of them came up to me and asked "How does it work?"


Me: "How does what work?"

German: "It!! It zez tet we get to take one and the end."

Me: "You take one. At the end. What?"

German: *Angrily mumbles in German* "IT!!! We get it! at the end when we see how it works!!"

Me: "Can i look at your booklet?"

German: " Here, don't rip eet"

Me: "This is Dog Racing, you have a booklet for the Guinness Brewery."

German: "NO NOT GUINNESS!! HOW DOES IT WORK!!"




LESSON
Germans are assholes

Nolanger

A group of tourists in TCD admiring that globe sculpture. One said 'that must be the Trinity Ball?'

theparish

First time in New York I was standing outside Empire state and had to ask where it was,got on wrong subway trains,stood in q's that took credit cards only when I only had cash & got a couple of buses that were coin only when I only had notes.Works both ways.

However I was in Montreal once and in the post office asked for postage stamps for the postcards.Told girl I was posting to Ireland and with a confused look on her face she asked me was Ireland in England.

Son Of A Vidic

1994 - stopped by two yanks in a car as I was walking - "Do you know where we could find a phone?"......"Do you have phones here?"

My look and verbal response ensured they very quickly drove on.

John_Rambo

medicman2009 wrote: »

1994 - stopped by two yanks in a car as I was walking - "Do you know where we could find a phone?"......"Do you have phones here?"

My look and verbal response ensured they very quickly drove on.

Why would you do that? Did they witness an accident? Was one of them sick? I see you are from Sligo, I gave to Sligo dudes a lift in Dublin a while ago, they were hopelessly lost and heading the (very) wrong way. You could learn a thing or two about manners and making people welcome.

spyderski

While on holliers in the States, I told a girl I was from Ireland - she says "Oh wow - thats near Japan right???"

America is not the world.......

irelandrover

spyderski wrote: »

While on holliers in the States, I told a girl I was from Ireland - she says "Oh wow - thats near Japan right???"

America is not the world.......

Why are so many people shocked when people not from ireland don't know where it is? There are many many small islands in the world that I dont have a clue where they are. I'm pretty sure you don't know the location of every country in the world

spyderski

irelandrover wrote: »

Why are so many people shocked when people not from ireland don't know where it is? There are many many small islands in the world that I dont have a clue where they are. I'm pretty sure you don't know the location of every country in the world

I'm not talking about someone from an undiscovered hill tribe in South America here - this was a seemingly intelligent & well educated 20-something from the east coast of America.

No, but I bet I'd get the right Continent, or Hemisphere even!!!

irelandrover

spyderski wrote: »

I'm not talking about someone from an undiscovered hill tribe in South America here - this was a seemingly intelligent & well educated 20-something from the east coast of America.

No, but I bet I'd get the right Continent, or Hemisphere even!!!

They did get the right hemisphere

spyderski

irelandrover wrote: »

They did get the right hemisphere

Dunno about you, but in the school I went to, I learned Ireland was in the WESTERN HEMPISPHERE, Japan on the other hand......You're confused alright...

irelandrover

spyderski wrote: »

Dunno about you, but in the school I went to, I learned Ireland was in the WESTERN HEMPISPHERE, Japan on the other hand......You're confused alright...

I always learned it was in the nothern hemisphere

RussellTuring

East and west are fairly arbitrarily defined. When talking about hemispheres, people are usually referring to the Northern and Southern ones.

spyderski

irelandrover wrote: »

I always learned it was in the nothern hemisphere

It is....and the western. Is that so difficult a concept to grasp?

And while we're being pedantic its spelled NORTHERN