Room-Mate issues!!

ztoical

D3PO wrote: »

You would swear photos are intrusive and in your face.

Somebody who feels uncomfortable isnt compatible with living with housemates that is the simple fact.

I think it's unfair to say that someone who doesn't like having one persons personal items in a communal area isn't compatible with living with a housemate. I've shared with dozens of different people over the years and have never had a housemate put such personal items up in a communal space. I would feel uncomfortable about it as I would worry about them being broken. People are always saying that Landlords should not leave any furniture they really value in a rented property as tennants aren't going to respect it to the same length that the LL would. I would say the same for housemates, don't leave personal items in communal areas for risk of it being damaged. Not saying that every house share is wild parties but even with the best of housemates I've found items in communal spaces are more likely to be damaged then in your own space.

Depending on the size of the sitting room, layout of furniture and the placement of the photos they can be intrusive and can make you feel like your not welcome in that space. Not everyone is into photos, I'm not, don't have any up in my personal or communal space of my flat and my family in general aren't, can't think of any close family member who has alot of photos up. Some people love photos and put them up everywhere. It's not a case of people being incompatible but the usual thing you have with house shares of making compromises.

D3PO

ztoical wrote: »

IIt's not a case of people being incompatible but the usual thing you have with house shares of making compromises.

and that works both ways.

Im not into photos either. Christ I still havent developed my debs photos from 15 years ago !

That said I wouldnt have an issue with somebody wanting to make a living area less sterile by adding pictures.

As I said before if anybody is honest how much time do people spend in a living room thats not looking at a book, tv or another persons face ? To call photos an intrustion is a massive exaggeration.

lostaccount

I agree with the OP, personal photos of family and friends should not be put up in common areas without asking the other roommates first. I wouldn't want to be greeted by photos of their family and friends everytime I went into the room. And while I might be doing other things in the living room like watching tv or reading a book, I still have peripheral version so I would still notice them.

I think that there is such a divided response shows that its not ok to just presume that your roommate will be ok with it.

I would ask the roommate to agree that we keep the personal photos out of the common areas but suggest maybe each putting frames with favourite postcards or something to make the place more homely!

ztoical

D3PO wrote: »

As I said before if anybody is honest how much time do people spend in a living room thats not looking at a book, tv or another persons face ? To call photos an intrustion is a massive exaggeration.

If I'm honest quite a bit as I sometimes have work that I need to do on the table in the living room. Like I said in my last post depending on the size of the room, how its arranged and where the photos are placed, it can or can not be an intrustion. Anyone whose every done any interior design study knows that you can create focal points depending on the layout and how the eye is drawn around the room. So someone just plonking photos around might accidentally create tangants with other objects in the room and it can be distracting when your trying to watch tv and as the photos aren't yours you might not feel comfortable moving them.

I have friends who really get creeped out by photos and one has to turn all her OHs photos around when they are sleeping at his as she just finds the photos looking at her freak her out. Some people might think she's just being stupid but everyone is different.

rabbit.84

I sounds like it more to do with the room mate taking over the sitting room than the actual pictures. My room mate lived in our house a year before the rest of us moved in and she acts like she owns the place which drives me mad.

readyletsgo

rabbit.84 wrote: »

I sounds like it more to do with the room mate taking over the sitting room than the actual pictures. My room mate lived in our house a year before the rest of us moved in and she acts like she owns the place which drives me mad.

This is very common and sound about right, nothing to do with the photos up, its the taking over of the communal sitting room.
I moved into a place a while ago and there was one girl who was there the longest, and acted like she owned the place, thank god it was a big place so we all stayed in our rooms after a while.

pikachucheeks

I can understand why the OP would feel a bit strange about it.

The living room is a communal area and it's for everyone who lives in the house. If one person is going to put photographs of their family, them with their friends in there, it might make others feel like they're not welcome in the room / house or that they're living under someone else's roof.

I'm sure she wasn't putting the photographs up to make anyone feel uncomfortable, but she probably should have asked first.

I became good friends with one of my housemates and we had photos of us together on the walls of our rooms with other friends etc, but we didn't put any in the communal areas because we felt it would have been unfair on our other housemate we weren't as close to. It's her house as well and we wouldn't have wanted to make anyone feel like they weren't welcome.

007IRE

if you both rent then you both own the apartment so she has every right to put up photos just like you can.

Mint Sauce

007IRE wrote: »

if you both rent then you both own the apartment so she has every right to put up photos just like you can.

Am sure the OP and their housemate have resolved it by now.

Janey_Mac

I think objecting to her having *any* personal photos up is overreacting.

However, though it's not the sort of thing there are hard and fast rules about, it is presumptuous in a shared house/apartment to put *too* much of your own touch on a shared living space. It's something people should be aware of and sensitive about; in the last house I shared the housemates had lived there a while and had colonised the shared living spaces with their things; I felt like it was their place. (We got a new place all together a year ago; problem solved.)

You could tell her you think putting up photos is a great idea but there's not a lot of space left, could she move a few of them to her room so you can put your pictures up?

Victor

007IRE wrote: »

if you both rent then you both own the apartment so she has every right to put up photos just like you can.

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