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A more light hearted thread on the by-election

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    #32
    muffler
    Registered Users Posts: 46,098 ✭✭✭✭muffler


    Got a lovely text earlier today which was along the following lines:


    Brian Cowan announced today that he is changing our national emblem from the shamrock to a condom because it more accurately reflects the government's stance. A condom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks and gives you a sense of security while you're actually being screwed.


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    #33
    .17hmr
    Registered Users Posts: 292 ✭✭.17hmr


    muffler wrote: »
    Got a lovely text earlier today which was along the following lines:


    Brian Cowan announced today that he is changing our national emblem from the shamrock to a condom because it more accurately reflects the government's stance. A condom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks and gives you a sense of security while you're actually being screwed.

    :D very good


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    #34
    muffler
    Registered Users Posts: 46,098 ✭✭✭✭muffler


    As Jimmy Cricket would say....and there's more :D


    Bertie Ahern, Queen Elizabeth, and Vladimir Putin all die and go to hell. While there, they spy a red phone and ask what the phone is for. The devil tells them it is for calling back to Earth.

    Putin asks to call Russia and talks for 5 minutes. When he is finished the devil informs him that the cost is a million Euros, so Putin writes him a cheque.

    Next Queen Elizabeth calls England and talks for 30 minutes. When she is finished the devil informs her that the cost is 6 million pounds, so she writes him a cheque.

    Finally Bertie gets his turn and talks for 4 hours. When he is finished the devil informs him that the cost is 5 Euros.


    When Putin hears this he goes ballistic and asks the devil why Bertie got to call Ireland so cheaply. The devil smiles and replies:

    "Since Cowen took over, the country has gone to hell, so it's only a
    local call....


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    #35
    puffdragon
    Registered Users Posts: 354 ✭✭puffdragon


    Brian Cowen was out shooting ducks and doing quite well as it happens ,

    anyway one of the ducks after being hit fell into the field next to where they were shooting,

    he dropped his gun and went to the fence to retrieve his dead duck,

    the farmer who owned the field was coming along the lane on his tractor and shouted to Cowen,"where do you think you are going"

    Cowen replied, im going to retrieve my dead duck,lawfully it belongs to me and I have a right to go and get it!!

    "Ah" the farmer replied we work on a diffrent law around here , it's called the ' three kicks rule' I kick you three times and you kick me three times and whoever s left standing gets the duck,

    Cowen took a look at a fairly old farmer and fancied his chances so agreed to the contest,

    The old farmer first kicked Cowen in the groin and while was bent over in agony stepped behind him and kicked him in the ass ,while he squirmed around on the ground in agony the farmer then gave him his last shot straight in the mouth,

    About to get on his tractor he looked around and to his surprise Cowen had recovered and said " come on now its my turn"

    The farmer paused a moment, smiled and said,' ah go on I give up you keep the duck!!


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