What Do You Do While Having A Dump?

Stokolan

Play games on the phone.

I got some of my best scores while my ass was burnt off me with a dose of the runs.

Svetti Arss

I use a laptop or as my elderly father in law calls it a flaptop. It keeps me entertained and warm and I only have to break my concentration when a jack-knife is expected.

JerryHandbag

Put the ipod on shuffle and see what comes out (of the ipod I mean)

Princess Peach

I'm a lady, so I don't actually go to no. 2. I just use the bathroom to freshen up and powder my nose.

2 stroke

Check my messages on the back of door Write graffitti.

De Dannan

What Do You Do While Having A Dump?

What do ya want to know that for ya weirdo ?

Rubberlegs

Joey the lips wrote: »

Puuuussssshhhhhhh pant pant pant pant Puuuuuussssshhhhhh Pant pant pant..... wait for the splash... Lift me arse so it does not get wet.....

But don't you find if your arse does gets splashed, it saves on toilet paper?? A homemade bidet if you will:D

W.Shakes-Beer

I have once or twice, when nobody at home, sat on the can with my old Acoustic guitar and played Tears in Heaven.

scientific1982

Look at other primates in the paper.

Standman

read the back of the toothpaste tube

obliviousgrudge

Go on Facebook, Boards or check my email but if I forget my phone I usually just read the back of shampoo bottles.

Voodoomelon

Read the back of the toilet duck or toothpaste.

Children under 7 should only use a pea-sized amount.

Arnold Layne

Tickle my sphincter

Eircom_Sucks

wipe with the s** newspaper

blogga

starbelgrade wrote: »

Let's face it. Having a poo is a fairly mundane chore, so what do you do to pass the time while you're passing out effluent?

Some people like to read.

Some people are probably reading this whilst breaking a log.

I normally play a game of FIFA on the DS-Nintendo.

So what do you do whilst dropping the kids off at the pool?

Or do you just stare at the wall and grimace?

What an extarordinarily weird question. Really weird.

Sticky_Fingers

MayoForSam wrote: »

I used to play 'Battlestar Galactica' (the original one with Lorne Green as Adama) as a young lad while sitting on 'the throne' - attacking the bath (i.e. the battlestar) with a comb (the cylons).

Who needs an iPhone when your imagination can suffice?

Too bloody right, kids today with their gadgets and whatchamacallits. I wiled away many an hour in school making airplanes out of little more then a biro and a ruler while at home I oversaw epic futuristic space races and intergalactic fleet engagements between the remotes while my parents were watching the news.

LEIN

A game of golf on the mobile passes some time.

rubensni

Svetti Arss wrote: »

I use a laptop or as my elderly father in law calls it a flaptop. It keeps me entertained and warm and I only have to break my concentration when a jack-knife is expected.

Ha ha, faptop.

*gets coat*

TanG411

Super Mario on the phone does it for me. Usually the coin sound is heard after I'm finished.

Jesus Wept

If you have time to pass while ****ting, then you are doing it wrong, consult your doctor.

PeterIanStaker

Go on boards.

Arnold Layne

starbelgrade wrote: »

Let's face it. Having a poo is a fairly mundane chore, so what do you do to pass the time while you're passing out effluent?

Some people like to read.

Some people are probably reading this whilst breaking a log.

I normally play a game of FIFA on the DS-Nintendo.

So what do you do whilst dropping the kids off at the pool?

Or do you just stare at the wall and grimace?

are you responsible for the "floaters" in the kiddies' pool?

unknownlegend

Angry birds ftw

LEIN

The-Rigger wrote: »

If you have time to pass while ****ting, then you are doing it wrong, consult your doctor.

You never get the ones that get stuck half way then?

Arnold Layne

A nationwide **** stirrer

Jesus Wept

Damo9090 wrote: »

You never get the ones that get stuck half way then?

On a very rare occasion. But I tend to focus on the task at hand rather than think of other things I can do. Doesn't take long.

FoxT

I could write a book on this. Chapter headings would be:

Anticipation
preparation
elimination & meditation
relaxation
Examination
decontamination
ventilation
deodorization
restoration

kylith

I do the crossword.

starbelgrade

blogga wrote: »

What an extarordinarily weird question. Really weird.

You should see some of my other threads, like -

"Is Enda Kenny a Robot?" (with added poll option)

"Do You Have A Pet Name For Your Todger?"

and

"If you were going to die with one thing in your mouth, what would it be?"

Barr

Destroy the bowl.

holystungun9

I do cartwheels !!

Actually sometimes if it is proving a little difficult to evacuate my waste products I usually do a little bit of rapping. I don't know exactly how this helps but maybe it is the whole you should talk about your problems thing. Here is an example;

Awh sh!t sh1t, it's a really hard sh1t,
I thought I'd be done in a bit,
but now who's the git?
I gotta get through this sh1t, I gotta prove to this sh1t,
that I'm the sh2t and there ain't no stopping it
Here it comes yo, here it here it comes yo,
told you so, now my bum's goin' blow….
Now your all gonna know, that it's time for the show
Like Salt n pepa used to say, that's how I roll
So push it, p-p-p-ush it real good
deh de duh duh du duh de duh de du duh….etc etc
p-push it real good

Is this what they call over sharing? Oh well, mammy says I'm cool

Super-Rush

It all depends on the time of day/week.

The first visit of the day usually involves a cup of coffee and whatever book or magazine i've selected for the week. I might read through the Man Ure superthread aswell. Usually takes 45 minutes.

Tuesday and Wednesday involves reading through the court cases in the local papers where i laugh and poo for a good hour.

Sunday afternoons are my favourite. I like to spend a least an hour going over the problem pages in the papers/reading the football reports/how Cheryl Cole hasn't eaten in 3 years.

All other visits are completed asap.

starbelgrade

super-rush wrote: »

It all depends on the time of day/week.

The first visit of the day usually involves a cup of coffee and whatever book or magazine i've selected for the week. I might read through the Man Ure superthread aswell. Usually takes 45 minutes.

Tuesday and Wednesday involves reading through the court cases in the local papers where i laugh and poo for a good hour.

Sunday afternoons are my favourite. I like to spend a least an hour going over the problem pages in the papers/reading the football reports/how Cheryl Cole hasn't eaten in 3 years.

All other visits are completed asap.

Your poo time is well spent.

I commend you.

OutlawPete

Frequently while taking a dump, I will curse my girlfriend for yet again, not leaving the toilet seat up.

OPENROAD

super-rush wrote: »

The first visit of the day usually involves a cup of coffee.

You have a cup of coffee while taking a poo :eek::eek::eek:

Super-Rush

OPENROAD wrote: »

You have a cup of coffee while taking a poo :eek::eek::eek:

Yes.

I'm multi tasking.

starbelgrade

OPENROAD wrote: »

You have a cup of coffee while taking a poo :eek::eek::eek:

Morning poo = cup of coffee resting on the side of the bath, fag leaning on the sink.

I thought everyone did that.

OPENROAD

super-rush wrote: »

Yes.

I'm multi tasking.

Dear God!! :eek::D

OPENROAD

starbelgrade wrote: »

Morning poo = cup of coffee resting on the side of the bath, fag leaning on the sink.

I thought everyone did that.

:eek::eek::eek:

starbelgrade

OPENROAD wrote: »

:eek::eek::eek:

:eek:

Xavi6

Anything less than 15 minutes is a waste of a good poo.

My best and deepest posting comes while aboard the throne.

OPENROAD

Xavi6 wrote: »

Anything less than 15 minutes is a waste of a good poo.

My best and deepest posting comes while aboard the throne.

Too much info

I do agree anything less than 15 mins is a waste

Glenster

AlmightyCushion wrote: »

Have a ****. Saves time especially at work.

It's physically impossible to do both at the same time, like sneezing with your eyes open.

fletch...

Sh*t + w*nk = a shank.
not that i'd ever do such a thing, just read the back of the bog roll bag, job done then outa there

rcaz

Joey the lips wrote: »

Lift me arse so it does not get wet.....

Make a nest.

strobe

Shit, mainly.

jayteecork

15 minutes?

Some of you people are weird.

I hover and expel out the turd in under a minute usually.

Who wants to sit on a fkn cold toilet bowl for 15 minutes?

How on earth does it take 15 minutes or longer to expel a turd?

Unreal. Fkn unreal.

Pdfile

both text and fap....

rock out when i get cling ons...


chill if its a late nighter...

:cool:

Brendog

irish-stew wrote: »

turn to the empty loo roll holder in horror.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ezEjae4WyM

evercloserunion

Shitting is amazing. I don't do anything else, I just sit back and enjoy the ride.