please help

babs2468

i think im in the wrong forum ye see i didn't give my son up for adoption i just gave him away i was pressured into it i was led to believe tat this women who was living with her mother at the time was going to look after him also her brother was made to sign his birth cert by the people who said he would have a better life then wat i would give him tat was 18 years ago and now has come back to ask me to sign forms to take his name of his cert i already had a child before him who would be 20 now i just want to no wat these people were told why i gave my son away and is it illegal to do so without adoption iv searched the Internet without success and would really like someone out there to be able to no wat I'm going through please help if i could go back 18 years i would have done it different my life is so incomplete without him it has hurt the last 18 years of my life and it will for the rest of it the guilt will be with me till the day i die

neelyohara

I honestly couldn't comment on the legalities of it but are you sure you didn't sign anything? Who exactly took him?

What is on his birth cert? Are they asking you to sign something now?

You're going to have to provide a lot more information to get some advice from anyone here.

My first instinct would be to contact a solicitor in regard to the legalities.

Update us, fill in the blanks... someone may be able to help.

babs2468

i didn't sign anything i was 15 years old wen i had my first child her father went to prison wen i was pregnant with her wen he got out i ended up pregnant again went to my mother for help and she decided tat i give my baby to my sisters boyfriend sister who couldn't have kids i sat everyday with my mam and sister who told me it was for the best and tat my baby's father would leave me and a hole lot of other stuff for nine months which makes me sick to think of who I'm still with 21 years later the brother was made to sign his birth cert who has come ask me 18 years later would i sign a form witch he lied about first time saying it was something to do with a payment i pushed him into telling me the truth and he said he was afraid tat he signed the birth cert all them years ago he was going to get in trouble tat he was made to do it iv only found out tat the sister didn't have anything to do with him but his mother looked after him whom is 90 years old and on her death bed i didn't have a nice childhood i feel my child was robed from me and not a day goes by tat i don't think of him although i have other children i feel my life is so incomplete i don't think i will ever have a life without him in my life tank you for replying to my post

Mazdoll

Get legal advise, go to a solicitor.....explain everything just as you have done here and take it from there, Best of Luck

neelyohara

If you didn't give him up for adoption then I assume your name is on his birth cert which means he can look you up or find you if he wants to.

It sounds as though you know where he is or who he is with which is a lot more than most mothers who have placed their children for adoption.

If it were me I'd write to the parents/grandparents and ask if they would let you write a letter to your son. If they don't want you to write directly to him you could always ask them to hold onto the letter so that if he does want to find you then they can give him the letter.

This is something my aunt done when her daughters biological mother came looking for her. She took the letter and said she would give it to her daughter when she turned 18 and then it would be up to her if she wanted to read the letter.

Before doing anything I'd strongly recommend that you contact a solicitor. If you can't afford one you can always avail of free legal aid - have a look at this website and perhaps make contact with them: http://www.flac.ie/

Perhaps some of the parents here can provide you with details of support groups - I'm afraid my knowledge of adoption is limited to tracing and I've never personally had to deal with the emotional side.

The best of luck with whatever path you choose.