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Someone Stole My Cock!

  • 23-11-2010 3:22pm
    #1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,739 ✭✭✭✭


    I have a few hens out the back & a rooster, but the rooster appears to have gone missing.

    So the only question remaining is - where the hell is my cock gone? :eek:


«1

Comments

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 15,515 ✭✭✭✭admiralofthefleet


    the imf took it:pac:


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 24,523 ✭✭✭✭Cookie_Monster


    maybe he's in one of the hens ;)


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 18,159 ✭✭✭✭phasers


    Wait until dawn tomorrow and listen carefully


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,554 ✭✭✭✭alwaysadub


    Did you ask your wife?
    Maybe she fancied a change.. :pac:


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,964 ✭✭✭ToniTuddle


    Pop round to the neighbours house for dinner. You will see it there! :pac:


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 10,271 ✭✭✭✭johngalway


    That'll be the cold weather, you need to look harder.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 20,739 ✭✭✭✭starbelgrade


    alwaysadub wrote: »
    Did you ask your wife?
    Maybe she fancied a change.. :pac:

    That's fowl.


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,808 ✭✭✭FatherLen


    i dont know where your cock is gone but i would say your rooster went for a walk.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 18,159 ✭✭✭✭phasers


    johngalway wrote: »
    That'll be the cold weather, you need to look harder.
    Stuff a sock down there, that should help


  • Registered Users Posts: 4,559 ✭✭✭Millicent


    Have you checked under that untamed bush of yours? The cock is probably still there but you may need to get the gardeners in to see it. :pac:


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,805 ✭✭✭Setun


    I have a few hens out the back & a rooster, but the rooster appears to have gone missing.

    So the only question remaining is - where the hell is my cock gone? :eek:
    It's probably behind the toilet at your place of work. Unless a cunning co-worker stole it?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,080 ✭✭✭Gunsfortoys


    Sounds like it packed up its sack and left.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,352 ✭✭✭✭ctrl-alt-delete


    Have you checked all the usual places?

    Right Hand, Left Hand.......


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 22,559 ✭✭✭✭AnonoBoy


    Isn't the truth actually that you never had a cock to begin with?

    Admit it.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 544 ✭✭✭Pookah


    An evil cock-ring has been operating in the area, and may be connected to the disappearance.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 12,806 ✭✭✭✭KeithM89_old


    Your hens fancied some cock, so they swallowed it....


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 8,595 ✭✭✭bonerm


    So the only question remaining is - where the hell is my cock gone? :eek:

    I've no idea. However I do remember having the same feeling once that I had lost my cock. Crisis was avoided as I looked down and found my cock in the mouth of a rather feisty red-haired fox whom I had happened across that day.

    Maybe that could help you in your search.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 14,762 ✭✭✭✭stupidusername


    Maybe some chick has got it


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,838 ✭✭✭Nulty


    maybe he's in one of the hens ;)

    maybe he is one of the hens

    transvestite cock


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,821 ✭✭✭phill106


    Perhaps one of your neighbours is blocking your cock from returning.

    Got to hate those cock blocks!


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  • Registered Users Posts: 276 ✭✭Wade in the Sea


    bonerm wrote: »
    I've no idea. However I do remember having the same feeling once that I had lost my cock. Crisis was avoided as I looked down and found my cock in the mouth of a rather feisty red-haired fox whom I had happened across that day.

    Maybe that could help you in your search.


    Sounds most likely a vixen to me....


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,529 ✭✭✭zynaps


    It might have been injured by a passing cat and is hiding somewhere. The last time my cock was bruised by a dirty pussy, it took a few days before things were back to normal.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 34,418 ✭✭✭✭hondasam


    I have a few hens out the back & a rooster, but the rooster appears to have gone missing.

    So the only question remaining is - where the hell is my cock gone? :eek:


    DId you put it somewhere you should'nt have :)

    unfamilar territory!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,080 ✭✭✭foxinsox


    bonerm wrote: »
    I've no idea. However I do remember having the same feeling once that I had lost my cock. Crisis was avoided as I looked down and found my cock in the mouth of a rather feisty red-haired fox whom I had happened across that day.

    Maybe that could help you in your search.

    Public Service Announcment

    That so wasn't me :eek:


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 44,080 ✭✭✭✭Micky Dolenz


    Hee hee, ye said cock.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 8,595 ✭✭✭bonerm


    foxinsox wrote: »
    Public Service Announcment

    That so wasn't me :eek:

    Methinks the lady doth protest too much? Get thee to a hennery!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 25,070 ✭✭✭✭My name is URL


    Maybe someone wanted to pullet


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 14,575 ✭✭✭✭FlutterinBantam


    n contrast, the Bantam rooster is famous in rural areas throughout the United Kingdom and the United States for its aggressive, "puffed-up" disposition that can be comedic in stature. It is often called a "Banty" in the rural United States.

    Many bantam hens are renowned for hatching and brooding purpose. Bantams clutch a variety of eggs from quail up to two goose eggs, and are known as fearsome mothers, with a high success rate in rearing any egg hatched.

    The Bantam chicken is considered faster and "spunkier" than their larger counterparts. In 1954, the Trinity College basketball team had named their team after the Bantam chicken. They called themselves the Trinity Bantams. Trinity College still calls their team the Bantams to this day.

    :eek:

    Jaysus!!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 20,739 ✭✭✭✭starbelgrade


    Maybe someone wanted to pullet

    He tried that once. Took me by total surprise.

    So much so, I awarded him the Pullet-surprise.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 6,653 ✭✭✭Ghandee


    Its ok I think I've found it.

    It was sitting on yer head along ya big eejit!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,550 ✭✭✭✭kowloon


    I have several I could share with you.
    Would you like a large brown one, a small white one or a middle sized speckled one?

    Really, I can give you one if your one is missing.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 20,739 ✭✭✭✭starbelgrade


    kowloon wrote: »
    I have several I could share with you.
    Would you like a large brown one, a small white one or a middle sized speckled one?

    Really, I can give you one if your one is missing.


    You want to give me your cock? :eek:


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,550 ✭✭✭✭kowloon


    You want to give me your cock? :eek:

    Well, since you've talked me into it...


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,546 ✭✭✭✭Poor Uncle Tom


    Did you take up rowing?
    Because you're now one of the cocksless four.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,920 ✭✭✭Einhard


    the imf took it:pac:

    They were gonna cut if but realised it couldn't get any smaller!!:D


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 560 ✭✭✭Flaregon


    chock the chickens, I beleave you will find your cock then.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,204 ✭✭✭FoxT


    Starbelgrade has lost his rooster,
    a lusty bird, he was no capon!
    His hens will miss their daily 'booster'
    And they have nothing they can fapon!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,629 ✭✭✭raah!


    Perhaps a fox got it. One time I caught a fox going at our chickens. Early in the night it was.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,550 ✭✭✭✭kowloon




  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 32,370 ✭✭✭✭Son Of A Vidic


    OP - I suspect your cock is ghey, hence he ran away.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 20,739 ✭✭✭✭starbelgrade


    Did you take up rowing?
    Because you're now one of the cocksless four.


    *sound of tumbleweed blowing in the wind* :p


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,554 ✭✭✭✭alwaysadub


    Well star-did you discover where you cock is yet?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 20,739 ✭✭✭✭starbelgrade


    alwaysadub wrote: »
    Well star-did you discover where you cock is yet?


    Not yet. I'm in a flap about it.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,194 ✭✭✭FatRat


    Maybe .....
    Your cock is so small, that your brain cannot even recognise it as, infact, being a cock?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,698 ✭✭✭✭Princess Peach


    I ate it.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,089 ✭✭✭ascanbe


    *sound of tumbleweed blowing in the wind* :p

    There's a hell of a lot worse jokes than that in this thread. :P


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 20,739 ✭✭✭✭starbelgrade


    ascanbe wrote: »
    There's a hell of a lot worse jokes than that in this thread. :P

    This thread is poultry in motion.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 8,595 ✭✭✭bonerm


    I ate it.

    Spit or swallow?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,698 ✭✭✭✭Princess Peach


    bonerm wrote: »
    Spit or swallow?

    Eh swallow.

    I don't know what crazy way you eat :confused:


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,939 ✭✭✭goat2


    was it very old, they do say the older the fiddle, the sweeter the tune


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