Funnies

MonkieSocks

A woman has collapsed after taking part in a marathon lesbian orgy.........


Doctors say she overdosed on crack.

__________________________________

I've just received a text from my girlfriend that reads:

"Hello birthday boy.

When you get home from work, there'll be a hot bath waiting for you.

When you've finished, come into the bedroom and I'll suck you dry "

Fook that, it'll take ages, I’ll just use a towel.

__________________________________

King Arthur has a beautiful wife.

The problem is, the Knights of the Round Table keep shagging her.

He goes to Merlin, and explains the situation.

Merlin says, "I've got just the thing."

He pulls out a pair of metal knickers, with a hole in the bottom.

Arthur says, "They're no good."

But Merlin puts his wand through the hole, and a blade appears and chops his wand in half.

Arthur takes them, and padlocks them to his wife.

He goes away for a fortnight.

When he returns he lines up all his knights and tells them to drop their pants.

All of the knights except one have half their dick chopped off.

Arthur said,

"You have disgraced the knights of the round table, Go away, and may I never see you again."

He comes to the remaining knight Sir Lancelot and says,

"For your loyalty, I will give you half of my empire.

Lancelot said,






"Fank you thirr."