I made a boo-boo....

KeithM89_old

Went to make some chips a few minutes ago but iv gone and spilled about a litre and a half of cooking oil on the kitchen floor. Im out of kitchen roll too

Any tips??

Princess Peach

Find a woman to clean it.

FreudianSlippers

FIRE!

brummytom

Eat the chips

jimthemental

Roll around in it then take a run and slide along the floor. Endless entertainment!

FreudianSlippers

Oh wait, or get some ladies over and have a oil wrestling party!

foxinsox

close kitchen door..

go to chippers..

lots of napkins (for toilet later)..

sorted..

Ruu_Old

Roll around it in, your clothes should mop it up.

Latchy

Get the dog to lick it up , he could do with the winter coat

MonicaBing

Oatmeal m'dear or porridge oats as they will soak up the oil for you..:)

stupidusername

OisinT wrote: »

Oh wait, or get some ladies over and have a oil wrestling party!

Or muscley men....

whatever you're into :cool:

alwaysadub

Use an old towel.
And next time go to the chipper!

mojesius

I did that a few years ago myself. Just use the Indo.

KeithM89_old

Thanks for all the amazingly helpful ideas

Im well and truly fucked though
I cant even sweep it outside since theres a hallway between the kitchen and the back garden
Il just have to use a ton of bog-roll

Micky Dolenz

Burn your house down, buy another. I hear they are cheap these days.

staker

Use it as lube to masturbate furiously,if you're caught say you hate to see waste.

Canis Lupus

Lick it up

foxinsox

MonicaBing wrote: »

Oatmeal m'dear or porridge oats as they will soak up the oil for you..:)

serious thread need serious answer

^^^ This is the serious answer ^^^

KeithM89_old

MonicaBing wrote: »

Oatmeal m'dear or porridge oats as they will soak up the oil for you..:)

If i spill a box of Corn Flakes on the floor will all the oil disappear??

meemeep

if you are using bog roll, don't throw it out - makes great fire lighters!

FreudianSlippers

Go chop down a tree and make sawdust.

hondasam

KeithM89 wrote: »

If i spill a box of Corn Flakes on the floor will all the oil disappear??

ya and then just hoover it all up !

Leelaa22

KeithM89 wrote: »

If i spill a box of Corn Flakes on the floor will all the oil disappear??

Don't forget to put them back in the box when you are done.

scudster

+1 for the porridge (or even bread or old rags) and then use some type of alcohol based substance to clean up the residue

KeithM89_old

scudster wrote: »

+1 for the porridge (or even bread or old rags) and then use some type of alcohol based substance to clean up the residue

Thanks - iv used 2 full bog-rolls and got rid of about half of it but iv slipped one too many times on my ass and i need a break

foxinsox

KeithM89 wrote: »

iv gone and spilled about a litre and a half of cooking oil on the kitchen floor.

on the floor now is the oil, the dog, oatmeal, porridge oats, sliced pan, salt, flour, my coat, some old rags, corn flakes, the hoover, lots of bog roll, kitchen towels and it's on fire


Any tips??

FreudianSlippers

KeithM89 wrote: »

Thanks - iv used 2 full bog-rolls and got rid of about half of it but iv slipped one too many times on my ass and i need a break

I'm taking this out of context.

hondasam

KeithM89 wrote: »

Thanks - iv used 2 full bog-rolls and got rid of about half of it but iv slipped one too many times on my ass and i need a break

A woman would have it cleaned by now.

man up and just get it cleaned

mojesius

Keith! Salt or a mix of salt and flour left to soak for a few minutes is the way forward, according to intermagoogle.

http://www.ehow.com/how_114464_clean-oil-spills.html

Profiler

If you have a frail elderly relative you could get yer video camera out, invite them into the kitchen and let the hilarity ensue!

Plus if it's good enough, ITV might throw a few hundred of that much needed foreign currency your way...

Win Win... it'd be almost unpatriotic to not do that...

foxinsox

Profiler wrote: »

If you have a frail elderly relative you could get yer video camera out, invite them into the kitchen and let the hilarity ensue!

Plus if it's good enough, ITV might throw a few hundred of that much needed foreign currency your way...

Win Win... it'd be almost unpatriotic to not do that...

that made me laugh..

it also made me sad that I laughed..

hondasam

Men always make a mountain out of a molehill

This is why men should stay out of the kitchen.

TheZohanS

KeithM89 wrote: »

Any tips??

Yup, ring your mammy and tell her to collect you...tell her that you're not ready to move out of home yet.

You can also tell her to bring over a mop, hot water and a scoop of washing powder...you need not worry your little head about what it's for, just tell her an adult told you that she'd need it. When she arrives show her the floor, she'll know what to do with the ingredients.

KeithM89_old

TheZohan wrote: »

Yup, ring your mammy and tell her to collect you...tell her that you're not ready to move out of home yet.

This is true i am at home - mammy and daddy are just way for the week.

Also, i got it cleaned up (mostly) - it took 6 toilet rolls and about 5 tea-towels but its gone (-ish)

On an unrelated note, if someone wants to drop by with some spare toilet roll, that would be good.

Next time i think il just make a sandwich...

DarkBlonde

+1 on the salt but you will need a good bit.

TheZohanS

KeithM89 wrote: »

This is true i am at home - mammy and daddy are just way for the week.

Also, i got it cleaned up (mostly) - it took 6 toilet rolls and about 5 tea-towels but its gone (-ish)

If it happens again just sprinkle some washing powder on it, then mop it up, make sure you use hot water...but don't burn your little handsies.

Latchy

Ah after the mop and clean up job OP why not go the whole hog and get out the floor polish

Saila

you use a saucepan as a container, you cant just pour oil directly on the oven like that to cook something, as you can see it wont stay there and just spills out onto the floor.

chasm

vaguely recall a programme the other day that advised covering the oil in talcum powder, makes it alot easier to clear up;)

My name is URL

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hlcNh8jNc7s

mooman

Just put a little yellow cone there until your mother gets home

strokemyclover

Pay two women to wrestle in it and charge €10 at the door.

Should make more than enough to cover costs and make a tidy profit at the end of the night

themadchef

Have ya not got a power tool ya can use on it?

Blow torch to burn it on to the floor. Then maybe some turbo grinder to take it off? Maybe a sander and surely a drill / chain saw can be worked in there some where.

DO NO CLEAN IT. You will catch the ghey. I can smell it off you already

KeithM89_old

themadchef wrote: »

DO NO CLEAN IT. You will catch the ghey. I can smell it off you already

Gee, thanks

I paid 2 hookers to come around and wrestle in it earlier - it was great fun. But it was time to clean the mess up... those hookers aint cheap!

starbelgrade

Use a kango hammer & dig a 1m wide trench to drain the oil into. Make sure it's at a 1 in 5 fall, so it will drain properly.

Then, at the end of the drainage channel, use a small amount of explosives to make a hole big enough to take the oil.

See. You don't actually need a woman to do it for you. You can sort it out the manly way.

KeithM89_old

starbelgrade wrote: »

Use a kango hammer & dig a 1m wide trench to drain the oil into. Make sure it's at a 1 in 5 fall, so it will drain properly.

Then, at the end of the drainage channel, use a small amount of explosives to make a hole big enough to take the oil.

See. You don't actually need a woman to do it for you. You can sort it out the manly way.

So i dig a trench, in my kitchen, and use explosives to blow a hole?? How can it go wrong!?

starbelgrade

KeithM89 wrote: »

So i dig a trench, in my kitchen, and use explosives to blow a hole?? How can it go wrong!?

It's fool proof.

FreudianSlippers

KeithM89 wrote: »

Gee, thanks

I paid 2 hookers to come around and wrestle in it earlier - it was great fun. But it was time to clean the mess up... those hookers aint cheap!

See, that's when you light the hookers on fire. Beginners :rolleyes:

KeithM89_old

OisinT wrote: »

See, that's when you light the hookers on fire. Beginners :rolleyes:

Says the law-talkin' guy...

Leelaa22

KeithM89 wrote: »

Gee, thanks

I paid 2 hookers to come around and wrestle in it earlier - it was great fun. But it was time to clean the mess up... those hookers aint cheap!

ok so you got the hookers but what about the black jack?
You can't have hookers without black jack.

KeithM89_old

Leelaa22 wrote: »

ok so you got the hookers but what about the black jack?
You can't have hookers without black jack.

The drink? The game? The guy?? Whose black Jack??
Also, the hookers have been dead for hours.. they both slipped and broke their necks..