Anyone else like me? Shampoo and Toilet Paper

kjl

starbelgrade wrote: »

I use minimum 3 ply paper - virgin paper.. none of that recycled muck - then fold a good load of sheets around each other, 3 times, to get a nice comfort zone of around 9 plys.

So whatever the OP is saving in toilet paper, I am more than making up for it.

Probably because you are full of crap :P

tricks

One of the most interesting discussions I have had in a long time.

KonFusion

Best. Thread. Ever.

CrazyRabbit

The funniest thing about this thread is that so many people actually think the OP doesn't clean himself. E.G...so many comments about his 'unwashed hair' even though he only ever said that he didn't use shampoo...not that he didn't wash it.

And the ignorance around bidet's and their ability to clean is also somewhat amusing albeit not unexpected since they are so rare here.

In short OP...no, you are not alone. There are millions of others who don't use modern shampoos and who use bidet's instead of paper.

Susie_Q

This thread is vile.

OP - haven't you heard of bio-degradeable shampoo? Widely available in health shops across the country. There is also an amazing invention known as recycled toilet paper.

Also, I second the motion that the OP most definitely does not have a ladyfriend.

kjl

Susie_Q wrote: »

This thread is vile.

OP - haven't you heard of bio-degradeable shampoo? Widely available in health shops across the country. There is also an amazing invention known as recycled toilet paper.

Also, I second the motion that the OP most definitely does not have a ladyfriend.

Well Susie, I haven't addressed that question, but yes there is someone in my life, and she loves my hair. I don't tell her about the bidet thing, although she was once in my bathroom and told me she used it to clean her private area and said it was brilliant.

tricks

Susie_Q wrote: »

This thread is vile.

OP - haven't you heard of bio-degradeable shampoo? Widely available in health shops across the country. There is also an amazing invention known as recycled toilet paper.

Also, I second the motion that the OP most definitely does not have a ladyfriend.

I use shampoo and toilet paper.

But hair can be cleaned perfectly well by only rinsing with hot water. Harsh chemicals in shampoo only damage hair and remove its natural oils, causing it to produce excessive amounts which leads to greasiness.

He stated also that it wasn't solely for the benefit of the environment that he didn't use toilet paper, but because the bidet cleans more effectively which is true. In that sense he is more hygienic than you.

No need to bring peoples personal life into this

High energy

tricks wrote: »

I use shampoo and toilet paper.

But hair can be cleaned perfectly well by only rinsing with hot water. Harsh chemicals in shampoo only damage hair and remove its natural oils, causing it to produce excessive amounts which leads to greasiness.

He stated also that it wasn't solely for the benefit of the environment that he didn't use toilet paper, but because the bidet cleans more effectively which is true. In that sense he is more hygienic than you.

No need to bring peoples personal life into this

Hey

This sort of rational and well thought out post is not welcome around here.

Petty ignorance and childish insults only.

Thank you.

Regards

Susie_Q

tricks wrote: »

No need to bring peoples personal life into this

Sorry but I think that line was crossed when the OP told me about jetting water up his anus. It doesn't get much more personal than that.

tricks

High energy wrote: »

Hey

This sort of rational and well thought out post is not welcome around here.

Petty ignorance and childish insults only.

Thank you.

Regards

:rolleyes:

I'll remember that in future

Rabble Rabble

entertaining thread.

Cheap Thrills!

starbelgrade wrote: »

I use minimum 3 ply paper - virgin paper.. none of that recycled muck - then fold a good load of sheets around each other, 3 times, to get a nice comfort zone of around 9 plys.

So whatever the OP is saving in toilet paper, I am more than making up for it.

That's how it's done.

I harvest fairies and cull their tender, silky gossamer wings into a fine and immensely soft thred. This is then spun by silkworms on acid and the finest opium into cashmere soft fibres, which are then knitted together on ivory kneedles by innocent maidens to form the softest and most environmentally damaging, yet luxurious bog roll ever known to man or supernatural entity.

Then I wipe my hoop with it. I squirt a good bit of shampoo in the jacks for no particular reason and then I flush, flush, flush 5 or 6 hundred times. Just to be sure.

Zemuppet

Must be a slow news week if threads like these are being made :P.

BTW as long as it's not sandpaper i'll use it.:D

tricks

Zemuppet wrote: »

Must be a slow news week if threads like these are being made :P.

BTW as long as it's not sandpaper i'll use it.:D

Will this do?

Zemuppet

tricks wrote: »

Will this do?

I've used it before. Its not Andrex but it'll do..though its a bit pricey, grater bog roll doesn't come cheap these days

tricks

Zemuppet wrote: »

I've used it before. Its not Andrex but it'll do..though its a bit pricey, grater bog roll doesn't come cheap these days

I'd say half your arse ends up down the toilet :eek:

gobythewall

Ye're all mad! I use Johnson's Baby Cream to cleanse my fundamental area and if it were not for this peculiar discussion I might have gone to my grave without disclosing the fact. I can recommend it before any other unguent in the ablution of the nether regions!

High energy

tricks wrote: »

Will this do?

Wtf! Surely there can't be much of a market for that product .. ?

Zemuppet

tricks wrote: »

I'd say half your arse ends up down the toilet :eek:

Well due to its rarity and high price i've only used it about twice. Best bog roll ever. Lost bout 15lbs after each use.

i.jpg
This i believe is what many of you crazy loons want off Santa this year :pac:

teddy_303

WindSock wrote: »

Use shampoo on your bottom. Then you are solving all your problems in one go.

You'd want to have some hairy hole to use shampoo on the pink star, no?

irelandspurs

To go one better,i just had a pooh in the garden and used snow on my ring to clean it,that way i saved water flushing and toilet roll.

irelandspurs

That recycled paper is no good,you may aswel wipe with your hand because your fingers always rip through straight onto your hole.

x PyRo

Posting just to be a part of the hilarity. Brilliant.

starbelgrade

I stopped using toothpaste a few years ago.

I now brush my teeth with my arse batter.

It's saving the planet, one small step at a time.

sensibleken

I did my bit for the enviroment by giving up all those foods that the news told me had carcinogens. The great things was I lost 30 pounds in a week....then i died

NoDice

Cheap Thrills! wrote: »

That's how it's done.

I harvest fairies and cull their tender, silky gossamer wings into a fine and immensely soft thred. This is then spun by silkworms on acid and the finest opium into cashmere soft fibres, which are then knitted together on ivory kneedles by innocent maidens to form the softest and most environmentally damaging, yet luxurious bog roll ever known to man or supernatural entity.

Then I wipe my hoop with it. I squirt a good bit of shampoo in the jacks for no particular reason and then I flush, flush, flush 5 or 6 hundred times. Just to be sure.

I wish I could thank this post over and over again!! Genius!

Also the tags!! Especially "Stinky stinky britches":

Tags dirt trail to hairdresser, dirty hole, fudge tunnel maintenance, funniest thread ever!!, goddamn hippy, mouldy wet dog smell, seriously dude?, sh*tty balls, smelly hair & fingers, stinky stinky britches


Can't we all just get along; wipe our arses, wash our feet in bidets and listen to Alanis Morrisette????

Cú Giobach

NoDice wrote: »

Can't we all just get along; wipe our arses, wash our feet in bidets and listen to Alanis Morrisette????

:eek:
NOOOOOOOO!!! AAARRRGGGGHHH!!

vibe666

starbelgrade wrote: »

I stopped using toothpaste a few years ago.

I now brush my teeth with my arse batter.

just wanted to let you know that you've got a bit of sweetcorn stuck in your teeth. :pac:

there's a reason that cultures that traditionally use water instead of paper to clean their hoops only use one hand and then go out of their way to keep that hand away from food & other people. i don't care what you wash your hands with, there's no way to get every single molecule of crap off them. please please please, don't ever touch other people with those hands.

i was travelling in thailand several years ago and ended up (literally) staying in a house in the middle of a jungle, only to find out that the only toilet option was one of those squat types with no paper and only soap and water to clean my hole.

i asked around, but nobody had any bog roll and i was told that you couldn't actually use it anyway as it would block the toilet which was on a septic tank.

someone went out of their way to convince me of the OP's opinion that it was much more hygienic to clean with soap & water etc. etc. so eventually when i got to the point where i just had to go, i did it.

i spent about 20 minutes afterwards vigorously scrubbing my hands with soap & water, but i just couldn't get rid of the smell no matter what i did and i felt dirty for days afterwards no matter how much i washed.

OP, several pages ago you confessed that you don't even recycle so you obviously don't give a crap abut the environment so stop using it as an excuse. by all means wash your hoop after you wipe, but not using paper first to clean as much as possible before you wash is nasty. whatever you think you are doing, you are still putting your hands in direct contact with your poop and its very unhygienic.

i've also known a couple of people who don't use shampoo and claim it makes their hair much nicer and cleaner after a couple of months once all the natural oils rebalance themselves, despite the fact that it very obviously stinks it is impossible to get them to understand that they smell.

i don't really understand how they don't realise how bad it is? its either just that after a couple of months of constantly smelling something nasty your brain 'tunes out' the smell or its something like the mental block that anorexics have of not seeing themselves as scrawny?

the excuse that shampoo was only invented in the last100 years is no good either. in victorian times rich people only used to bathe once a month because they didn't get dirty and soap and water were only used by poor people who got dirty at work. fortunately now we have a better idea (most of us anyway) about hygiene and like to make a habit of washing properly on a regular basis.

all the water that leaves your house has to go through a waste water treatment plant regardless of if it has shampoo in it or not and you already use the same amount of water as the rest of us washing your hair without shampoo and trying to clean the clagnuts out from under your fingernails so you have no argument there either, even if you hadn't already admitted to not giving two hoots about the environment when you admitted you don't recycle.

so to summarise.

washing hole = cleaner than wiping - yes, for your hole but not your poopy hands
not using paper or shampoo better for the environment = nope, not with all the extra water use from spending ages polishing your hoop and hands

imwatchingyou

i don't understand how some people are saying that OP is dirty when in fact he is cleaner because using water makes your arse so much cleaner than using some crappy toilet paper.

people should look this up and stop being so bloody ignorant,and if you don't want to give up cleaning with toilet paper then clean with the toilet paper but then also clean with water to make sure there is no sh!te still stuck to your bum.

you can laugh at OP or other people who use water all you want,but at least they are clean and don't smell

this is an article about japanese toilets:
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/11059655/ns/technology_and_science-tech_and_gadgets/

scottie pippen

so how do you wash your bum in public toilets, if you out for the day? or at a friends house?

and what about at work?

I can picture it now...... in the communal toilets at work, getting a stool dragged over to the sink, I'd have to, a kettle of hot water and a bar of soap and your ready to go, up on the stool arse over the sink, build up a nice lather