My dog is starin' at me

Cranky Mc Funhouse

Hi all,

I am just sitting here rockin' out to Focus's 'Hocus Pocus'. I am becoming increasingly unsettled by her stare. It is a very unnerving 'i hate focus and you' kind of stare. Any advice welcome. Thanks in advance.

Adam

tazer.

KeithM89_old

Throw a tennis ball at his face....:)

FatherLen

kill her or she will kill you.
dont hesitate

Cranky Mc Funhouse

Huh!?

blaze1

was walking thru town one day and a dog was bogging at my mate and the dog walked straight into a phone box. classic

Cranky Mc Funhouse

I think we both know where this is going.

DrumSteve

What type of Dag is it?

Cranky Mc Funhouse

blaze1 wrote: »

was walking thru town one day and a dog was bogging at my mate and the dog walked straight into a phone box. classic

HA HA! Classsic! Wait! was that a bichon frise?!

Mint Sauce

Feed her, let her outside to do her business, take her for a walk.

biko

PM this guy, maybe you can hang out?

blaze1

if shes still starring at you, you know what she wants..... time to break out the jar of peanut butter and put on the barry white

CorkMan

If he gets a sudden burst of air and says "Drink, Feck, Arse, Girls" get back to us.

macman2010

stop smoking the fully stuff might help

DarkJager

macman2010 wrote: »

stop smoking the fully stuff might help

Can he smoke the empty stuff instead?

Cranky Mc Funhouse

Hi ppl, I realise some of you are in work (god i envy your pedestrian 9-5 existance) and thus I realise your time is precious. I am really looking for a behavioral solution, so if theres any dog psychologists/Hot-dog vendors i'd appeciate your input.

P.S. My dog masturbates to other dogs masturbating

Thanks in advance,

C Mc F

orourkeda

kick him in the face

orourkeda

Cranky Mc Funhouse wrote: »

Hi ppl, I realise some of you are in work (god i envy your pedestrian 9-5 existance) and thus I realise your time is precious. I am really looking for a behavioral solution, so if theres any dog psychologists/Hot-dog vendors i'd appeciate your input.

P.S. My dog masturbates to other dogs masturbating

Thanks in advance,

C Mc F

Chop his stones off

Saila

you need to call dr dootlittle, your dog thinks its a cat.

Saila

orourkeda wrote: »

Chop his stones off

ha! I thought the bit you quoted was you messing with the OP..but he actually started a new thread with this himself! :eek:

and the added bonus of my post before this was made looks just fcuked up enough to fit in with the new question

PandyAndy

Stare back...

Cranky Mc Funhouse

orourkeda wrote: »

kick him in the face

While i do appreciate your concern and input i can't help feeling that a kick in the face might only exacerbate matters.

Thanks anyway!

Yours Hopefully,

C Mc F

orourkeda

Hoose him

Pace2008

Stop honking on that crack pipe, biy.

Cranky Mc Funhouse

Pace2008 wrote: »

Stop honking on that crack pipe, biy.

Oh pace, Will you ever learn?! If You attended the weekly crack-pipe anonamous meetings that the court assigned to you you would know that I'm in stage 6.(recovering crack-head pretending to have never been a crack-head) If you persist in trying to blow my cover I will be forced to report you to crackhead HQ.

Yours angrilly,

C Mc F

cruiser178

Look just ride the mutt ffs,you know you wana,we know you wana.

hiscan

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ppOyEbYVi0A

This Thread reminds me of this

irishjay

haha gas.

scarymoon1

haha - my dog does this sometimes too - makes me nervous and I have to look away lol.

Cookie_Monster

step 1: put dog in blender
step 2: pour out dog milkshake
step 3: ?
step 4: profit

Cranky Mc Funhouse

irishjay wrote: »

haha gas.

I'm sure it is jay! I'm sure it is highly humerous to an outside observer! Just remember that what goes around comes around. And when you have a disobedient/perverted/sexually confused dog, I'll be first in line to laugh at your misfortune.

phill106

Is she staring at you with come to bed eyes? I hear she is a right old bitch...
Careful, its a trap!

ejmaztec

This is a job for Chainsaw Man.

OutlawPete

We had a Labrador that would stare at who ever was in the kitchen, non fricking stop - for several hours if need be.

We tried everything, four walks a day, doggie toys (dozens of 'em), expensive dog house, moving the dog house to a spot where he could watch the kids playing football on the green, playing fetch 'till he was so out of breath he was near dead ..

But no matter what, he would just go to the centre of the garden and stare at whoever was there in the kitchen and if the moved his head would follow them like someone at a tennis match.

Sometimes my Dad would get so annoyed trying to eat his dinner (my Dad's, not the dogs) than he would angrily draw the blinds and scream at him to mind his own business

Cranky Mc Funhouse

ejmaztec wrote: »

This is a job for Chainsaw Man.

Who now?

Not sure whom you are referring to but I've been serenading the dog with classic Biggie smalls verses eg:

When it comes to sex, I'm similar to the thriller in Manila
Honeys call me Bigga the condom filler
Whether it's stiff tongue or stiff dick
Biggie squeeze it to make **** fit, now check this ****
I got the pack of Rough Riders in the back of the Pathfinder
You know the ep along by James Todd Smith
I get swift with the lyrical gift
Hit you with the dick, make your kidneys shift
Here we go, here we go, but I'm not Domino
I got the funk flow to make your drawers drop slow
So recognize the dick size in these Karl Kani jeans
I'm in thirteens, know what I mean
I **** around and hit you with the Hennessey dick
Mess around and go blind, don't get to see ****
The next batter, here to shatter your bladder, it doesn't matter
Skinny or fat or light-skinned or black, baby I drop
These boricua mommies screamin "Aiy papi!"
I love it when they call me Big Poppa
I only smoke blunts if they roll propa
Look, I gotcha caught up in the drunk flow
**** tae kwon do, I tote da fo'-fo'
For niggaz gettin mad cause they bitch chose me
A big black mother****er with g ya see
All I do is separate the game from the truth
Big bang boots from the Bronx to Bolivia
Gettin Physical like Olivia Newt
Tricks suck my clique dick all day with no trivia
So gimme a hoe, a bankroll and a bag of weed
I'm guaranteed to **** her till her nose bleed
Even if your new man's a certified mack
You'll get that H-town in ya, you'll want that old thing back etc....

Any lyrical/rapper advice welcome

Donal Og O Baelach

OP, have you considered the possibility that you died in your sleep this morning and your dog is actually staring at your ghost?

landsleaving

Cranky Mc Funhouse wrote: »

Any lyrical/rapper advice welcome

Don't get shot.

ejmaztec

Cranky Mc Funhouse wrote: »

Who now?

Not sure whom you are referring to buy I've been serenading the dog with classic Biggie smalls verses eg:

When it comes to sex, I'm similar to the thriller in Manila
Honeys call me Bigga the condom filler
Whether it's stiff tongue or stiff dick
Biggie squeeze it to make **** fit, now check this ****
I got the pack of Rough Riders in the back of the Pathfinder
You know the ep along by James Todd Smith
I get swift with the lyrical gift
Hit you with the dick, make your kidneys shift
Here we go, here we go, but I'm not Domino
I got the funk flow to make your drawers drop slow
So recognize the dick size in these Karl Kani jeans
I'm in thirteens, know what I mean
I **** around and hit you with the Hennessey dick
Mess around and go blind, don't get to see ****
The next batter, here to shatter your bladder, it doesn't matter
Skinny or fat or light-skinned or black, baby I drop
These boricua mommies screamin "Aiy papi!"
I love it when they call me Big Poppa
I only smoke blunts if they roll propa
Look, I gotcha caught up in the drunk flow
**** tae kwon do, I tote da fo'-fo'
For niggaz gettin mad cause they bitch chose me
A big black mother****er with g ya see
All I do is separate the game from the truth
Big bang boots from the Bronx to Bolivia
Gettin Physical like Olivia Newt
Tricks suck my clique dick all day with no trivia
So gimme a hoe, a bankroll and a bag of weed
I'm guaranteed to **** her till her nose bleed
Even if your new man's a certified mack
You'll get that H-town in ya, you'll want that old thing back etc....

Any lyrical/rapper advice welcome

I think that your dog must be trying to figure out which kennels she can send you to, so that she can have a well-deserved break.

landsleaving

ejmaztec wrote: »

I think that your dog must be trying to figure out which kennels she can send you to, so that she can have a well-deserved break.

I'm sure the dog would be willing to give him one more chance.

Cranky Mc Funhouse

landsleaving wrote: »

I'm sure the dog would be willing to give him one more chance.

While I do enjoy a good pun as much as anyone, I don't think you appreciate the gravity of the situation.

CorkMan

*OP catches eye of Dog, looks away hastily.*

*OP then catches eye of Dog slowly but keeps eye contact.*

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bEtx2YTcD94

Sykk

Microwave... Just sayin'

rcdk1

Adam wrote: »

tazer.

Before trying that read this.....

.....would solve the problem though

DublinWriter

Cranky Mc Funhouse wrote: »

I am just sitting here rockin' out to Focus's 'Hocus Pocus'. I am becoming increasingly unsettled by her stare. It is a very unnerving 'i hate focus and you' kind of stare. Any advice welcome. Thanks in advance.

No, she's trying to tell you that the live version is much better.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g4ouPGGLI6Q

iPlop

Cranky Mc Funhouse wrote: »

While I do enjoy a good pun as much as anyone, I don't think you appreciate the gravity of the situation.

Can't help with this one ,but in reverse ,if stare at a dog while it's havin' a sh!t ,it gets embarrassed and fcuks off! seriously try it! The neighbours dog tries it all the time and I give it the 'ol stare and the brakes go on and it walks off ashamed of itself

Cranky Mc Funhouse

Sink The Banana wrote: »

Can't help with this one ,but in reverse ,if stare at a dog while it's havin' a sh!t ,it gets embarrassed and fcuks off! seriously try it! The neighbours dog tries it all the time and I give it the 'ol stare and the brakes go on and it walks off ashamed of itself

For shame 'sink the banana' for shame. I shall bid you good day.

Cranky Mc Funhouse

I actually played backup yodel on that track. Glad to see that our message lives on! Live forever dublinwriter!!