It's just a bit too quiet...

Khannie

One thing I've noticed is that there's something amiss if it goes too quiet. I just noticed there that it had gone too quiet. I just found out why....

The 3 year old had gotten her hands on the jar of nutella. I need say no more. HAHAHA.

What funny "it's too quiet here" stories have you got?

littlebitdull

My then 2 year old had gotten the sudocreme and decorated our new fabric three piece suite.

We had only got it a week at the time. And it never got clean again.

Khannie

Oh. My. God!!!!

cynder

The 5 year old downed a bottle of calpol, 5 hour a&e expedition.


The little guy who is 4 later this month what hasn't he ate?

He has eaten blues for the toilet (he had a big blue mouth and face), i caught him eating firelighters and dishwasher tablets, i caught him in the toilet eating the stuck on dots 'they are toilet cleaners you stick in the toilet bowl to deodorise nad clean'. He would cry because i put the dishwasher tablets out of reach and he wanted to eat them.

Only yesterday i caught him sucking on the aiwwick plug in (mulled wine scent). He chewed all the top of it off, (he has done this on many occasions before but not in the last year) the only thing he hasn't drank is bleach.


His put sudocream all over the carpet and duvet, when toilet training him he made a poop at the top of the stairs and slid all the way down leaving a brown streak after him. His covered the bathroom in toothpaste and shaving cream (i mean emptied both bottle and tube and painted the bathroom with them x 3 times).


Twice he painted the leather sofa with nail varnish and poored the nail varnish all over the new rug.

Ickle Magoo

I should start by saying during the day we kept doors locked and keys in a bowl up on a shelf.

My wee man was just gone 3 and we had friends round having a cuppa when suddenly we realised things had gotten very quiet in the house. Looked everywhere for him and couldn't find him, when passing the front door I heard an engine being turned over gently but not catching - horrified I looked at the door and saw the door keys in it, opened the door and there was my wee man in the drive, in the car, trying to start the car! :eek::eek::eek:

He'd pulled a seat and a stool over to the shelf, used them as super-sized steps to get up to the bowls, got hold of the car and front door keys and then gotten out to the car. 10/10 for ingenuity though he nearly gave me a heart attack!

Ms. Captain M

Somehow my then 3 year old managed to climb up on the counter and put washing up liquid in the kettle. I didn't notice til I went to make a cup of tea, and the kettle overflowed with bubbles!

metrovelvet

Made his own sea side in the living room with water from the bathroom and ashes from the ash bucket I keep in the utility room all while I was on the phone to the bank and looking away because I was writing things down.

Put a tube of glitter in the dishwasher. Oh we had sparkling dishes for a while!

Khannie

Hahaha. I'm rollin around here. Some of these are classic.

cynder

metrovelvet wrote: »

Made his own sea side in the living room with water from the bathroom and ashes from the ash bucket I keep in the utility room all while I was on the phone to the bank and looking away because I was writing things down.

!

That reminds me of the time my lad climed into the fire place and covered the living room in ashes, he looked like he came out of a volcanic eruption, (he even ate some), he also used his plastic golf clubs as fire pokers and melted drops were all over the rug:mad: at least he didnt get hurt:D

While i was typing the last bit my fella de-balled the xmas tree and beheaded santa:(.

cynder

Ickle Magoo wrote: »

I should start by saying during the day we kept doors locked and keys in a bowl up on a shelf.

My wee man was just gone 3 and we had friends round having a cuppa when suddenly we realised things had gotten very quiet in the house. Looked everywhere for him and couldn't find him, when passing the front door I heard an engine being turned over gently but not catching - horrified I looked at the door and saw the door keys in it, opened the door and there was my wee man in the drive, in the car, trying to start the car! :eek::eek::eek:

He'd pulled a seat and a stool over to the shelf, used them as super-sized steps to get up to the bowls, got hold of the car and front door keys and then gotten out to the car. 10/10 for ingenuity though he nearly gave me a heart attack!

My guy hasn't got hold of the car keys yet, but a number of times he has escaped and run around the estate butt naked:eek: no shoes, nothing! It took a while before i could catch him, his a fast little devil.

I cant leave him in the car for 2 seconds as he climbs into the drives seat and beeps the hooter, his done this loads of times while ive nipped out to fetch my 5 year old from the school gate, his sitting in the drivers seat in stitches laughing beeping the hooter non stop, most of the other parents are used to it now.

If i bring him with me he does a runner up the field and strips off and climbs a hugh dirt mound and wont come down, and still he is in fits of laughter, cheeky devil. I try to get the closest car parking spot but sometimes thats taken. The school knows he has issues and are great (his in the pre school in the school). (undiagnosed but a question mark over adhd)

Miaireland

Ms. Captain M wrote: »

Somehow my then 3 year old managed to climb up on the counter and put washing up liquid in the kettle. I didn't notice til I went to make a cup of tea, and the kettle overflowed with bubbles!

There are tears running down my face from laughing at this.:)

Ickle Magoo

grindelwald wrote: »

My guy hasn't got hold of the car keys yet, but a number of times he has escaped and run around the estate butt naked:eek: no shoes, nothing! It took a while before i could catch him, his a fast little devil.

Heh, heh! Watch out then, we have a future Olympic sprinter as well - who also has a penchant for nudity. As a toddler our guy used to do everything in his power to do a runner in the supermarket and if he succeeded, we'd have to follow the trail of discarded clothes until we found a naked wee man dancing around the aisles with some OAP about to keel over with shock glaring at us. :pac:

Cat Melodeon

Ah yes, the dreaded Silence of Mass Destruction. I've found my lad standing in the toilet bowl brushing his hair with the toilet brush (bleugh), eating out of the dogfood bowl when I've forgotten to put it away, and done up like a drag queen after 7 silent minutes alone with my make-up bag. There's always that dawning realisation that things are too quiet followed by the mad dash down the hall trying to find out where he's gotten to. Most of the house it boy-proofed, but someone (ie husband or brother) invariably leaves a door open or something out where it shouldn't be. You'd know they don't have to do the clean-up!

silja

Juice all over (wooden) livingroom floor just after I mopped it- one of the twins got a sippy cup open, came to me (I was helping other twin to wash his hands after lunch): "Look mummy, I can open it all by myself!"

Biro on the cream couch while I let the dog out in the garden to pee. Can't get it out, so flipped cushions, but not seams show.

Crayon on the window ledges in the kitchen while I was on the computer in the same room! No idea how I missed it. Fortunately went away with baby oil.

January

She's eaten the sudocreme... me and my sister were having a chat and realised she was too quiet and caught her in the act, all over her face and hands, thank god not on the furniture or walls!

Drawn a lovely frame around the armchair in the sitting room with purple crayon, I was ironing clothes in the kitchen when she done that one!

Eats from the dog bowl... also caught her dipping her apple slices in the dog water the other day...

Throws things down the loo

CrazyRabbit

Something my mum told me about when I was 3.
I sprayed a fully bottle of Pledge polish all over the living room floor. It was slippery for days, and they had to take me to the hospital because I was getting sick from inhaling the fumes.

Hmm..this might explain why I hate cleaning so much.

s-cogan

the uncle told me about is young one, if you were around the house and called her name, you'd get no reply, but if she was involved in some scutting, doing something she shouldn't, you'd always know, cos if you called out to her she'd answer with a roar immediately!!!!!guilty consciences are a great thing in small children.

littlebug

When the youngest was maybe 2 1/2 we had that silence for just a bit too long.
In the sitting room was found one small, but bloated looking, boy and an empty pringles tube :eek: I'd have trouble with that myself.
He didn't even get sick!

Das Kitty

Eating fluff off the sweeping brush bristles...

January

littlebug wrote: »

When the youngest was maybe 2 1/2 we had that silence for just a bit too long.
In the sitting room was found one small, but bloated looking, boy and an empty pringles tube :eek: I'd have trouble with that myself.
He didn't even get sick!

Now that's impressive!

Tordelback

We were on a long ferry journey in Greece when our eldest was just 3, and I'd taken him into the TV lounge to amuse him while the wife caught some sleep on deck. There were a few other kids in there, and they inspected each other and ran around madly for a bit, before my lad sat back down and started watching some incomprehensible local news programme. I was trying to pick up a bit of Greek at the time, so I was watching intently, but minutes passed and I was amazed at how it was holding his unusually quiet attention...

Until I looked down - he had taken a family-size bag of Oreos out of my rucksack and had eaten the entire thing. Five minutes later we were chasing him around the whole ship, up onto railings, into the crew area, utterly hyper and unstoppable for the remaining four hours of the crossing.

Neyite

I drank three quarters of a bottle of whiskey when I was 3.

Doctor in A&E couldnt figure out how I didnt die. Dry-heave if i even smell Baileys these days.

we'llallhavetea_old

great thread!

my daughter and my niece have been caught washing themselves with toilet water, after pegging my phone down the same toilet.

they were caught with the tub of vaseline and sudocreme smeared all over themselves and the bedroom wall. paint still struggles on that patch.

they have emptied the fridge on the floor, eggs included.

and my daughter has emptied the fire ashes all over the sittingroom floor.

she has also run amok with red marker on the hall walls.

and the most shocking was finding her in the kitchen, the whole floor COVERED in special k, with her diggers ferrying the cereal around in her home made quarry :eek:

Das Kitty wrote: »

Eating fluff off the sweeping brush bristles...

oh jesus...

Kimono-Girl

Ah quiet time....the only time you really need to watch them!


one day last week when i was folding away clothes i noticed it had gone all quiet, this usually meant she was pouring ribena all over the floor so she could sit in it and splash about (that stuff stains so badly:(), or climbing up into the bay window to watch people outside, or climbing up on the table to rip/play with whatever she could find on it (including the block of knives that were up there cause we thought it would be out of reach) , sitting with my wallet removing/hiding the money and cards, phoning random people with my phone, her usual mischief....


so i came in and to my horror i realised i left the baby gate open, and she was no-where to be found, i was frantic calling out her name looking everywhere for about 5-10 minutes tore the entire place apart in my panic (i knew she had to be here somewhere there is no way she could open our front door)

i don't know what possessed me but in the end i checked in under the back of the Christmas tree and sure enough there she was curled up and fast asleep...i still do not know how she got in there.

January

You know I forgot about the ribena pouring and the climbing up onto the window, my one is forever at that! She loves looking out the window.

cynder

Neyite wrote: »

I drank three quarters of a bottle of whiskey when I was 3.

Doctor in A&E couldnt figure out how I didnt die. Dry-heave if i even smell Baileys these days.

I drank car battery acid when i was 7:eek:, thought it was lemonade:o. Got my photo in the local paper


My young guy attacked the brand new 48 inch tv with a knife, screwdriver, alum key and a fork:mad: its scratched to bits, it even has a few blue pixels shinning through.

the biggest scare i had with my eldest boy was on holidays in Devon, we woke up ion the first morning and could not find him in his bed or anywhere in the mobile the doors and windows were all locked, after 20 mins found him snuggled under our bed, we had been calling him and he didnt even hear us


My brother went missing for 3 hours on the stena line at age 4. the whole crew were looking for him, just before they docked a little girl told them that the little boy they were looking for was fast asleep on a chair by her, it was the last place to be searched his description had been called out every 5 mins for 3 hours yet no one saw him, when he was returned to my parents they said that that has never happened before and that they thought he had gone overboard.


All my upstairs windows are locked as the little guy has no fear.... he has nearly fallen out of them twice.

cynder

adrieanne__x wrote: »

Eats from the dog bowl...

I used to do that myself and my brother used to dare eachother to do it:eek:

LittleBook

Tordelback wrote: »

my lad sat back down and started watching some incomprehensible local news programme. I was trying to pick up a bit of Greek at the time, so I was watching intently, but minutes passed and I was amazed at how it was holding his unusually quiet attention...

LMAO, I'm relieved this didn't only happen to me.

My daughter was sitting on the floor watching TV with her back to me, I was sitting on the sofa smiling away thinking how focused she was on what we were watching, how much she must be enjoying it ... until I leaned forward and saw that she'd managed to get hold of my lipstick and was drawing on the carpet with it ... right in front of me!

stovelid

Some of these are making me laugh out loud. Makes mine seem actually tame. I'm releieved

Posted car-keys out of letter-box on to the mat outside (car a few yards away).

Took Sky card out of slot and tried to hammer credit card into it.

Opened huge bag of flour to play 'cooking' in the kitchen. The kitchen looked like Santa's Grotto when I walked in.

Funniest was when he managed to get a big bag of crisps down from the press and was heating under the table eating them. I was calling him for ages really worried and he was ignoring me until I looked under the tanel and he was even stagily chewing them as silently as he could.

Squiggler

I was visiting my sis one time when my niece was about 18 months old. We hadn't seen each other for a while so we were having a good catch up. Suddenly realised it was very quiet. Went into the bedroom and found my niece kneeling on the floor, about half a pack of baby wipes strewn around the room, and just finishing putting a nappy on her favourite teddy bear (smeared all over with sudocreme).

My sis tried to keep serious and gave out about the number of baby wipes wasted and my niece looked at us very seriously and said "teddy had TERRIBLE yuckies!!" with big wide eyes and a look of horror on her face. At that point all three of us broke down and fell about laughing.

The same kid loved taking things - sky card and key to the front door were her favourites - and hiding them, and then proudly leading everyone on a treasure hunt to find them. She always knew exactly where it was, but would drag the process out as long as possible "pretending" she was "old nanny" and couldn't remember. Her imitation of forgetful "old nanny" (my grandmother) was so hilarious (complete with facial expressions, bent back, stopping for rests etc.) that none of us could manage to be angry with her.

smelltheglove

My little brother was a divil for heys, he used to get the truck keys annd drive my dads truck down the road, once he got the car keys and when my older bro about 15 at the time saw him in the car with the car going towards the house he tried to push the car back, ended up with his legs near crushed in front of the window sill between it ad the car:eek:

My youngest, god she'd stress you out, bed clothes and a new designer dress ruined by sudocream, locked hereself i a bathroom in a friends house and drank bleach we had to kick the door down and get an ambulance, stitches twice, her hand and her leg, absolute nightmare.

A little example of a cute one, after beign a bit too quiet we found her making her first ever bowl of cereal, proud little thing she was