Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie
Hi there,
There is an issue with role permissions that is being worked on at the moment.
If you are having trouble with access or permissions on regional forums please post here to get access: https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058365403/you-do-not-have-permission-for-that#latest

Aliens At Your Door

  • 14-12-2010 1:38pm
    #1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,739 ✭✭✭✭starbelgrade


    You're sitting at home, watching the TV, when you hear a knock on the door, so you get up & answer it.

    You open the door to find two aliens standing outside in the cold.

    What would be your next course of action?


Comments

  • Registered Users Posts: 2,004 ✭✭✭jimthemental


    Fire a volley of bullets into the bushes behind them in the off chance you might hit Louis Walsh.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,326 ✭✭✭Scuid Mhór


    'i swear to god i was going to pay for my tv license tomorrow.'


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 13,249 ✭✭✭✭Kinetic^


    I'd tell that I don't want them or anyone else from Fianna Fail calling to my door!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,461 ✭✭✭--Kaiser--


    Get em drunk with hot whiskeys and then steal their spaceship/time machine/ doomsday device


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 10,808 ✭✭✭✭chin_grin


    "Gerroutovit yeh roma c*nts."

    /not really though. I don't open the door unless I know for definite that someones' calling over. Saves me getting chugged.


  • Advertisement
  • Registered Users Posts: 2,004 ✭✭✭jimthemental


    --Kaiser-- wrote: »
    Get em drunk with hot whiskeys and then steal their spaceship/time machine/ doomsday device

    Then use this to get your own IMF bailout. I like the initiative.


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,381 ✭✭✭fakearms123


    Encourage them to the idea that they will get far more knowledge from me by anal probing


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 17,918 ✭✭✭✭orourkeda


    Order a curry off them and ask if they are legal or illegal aliens


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,941 ✭✭✭thebigbiffo


    please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please
    please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please

    bring me for one, just one short ride in your spaceship

    please


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,554 ✭✭✭✭alwaysadub


    Invite them in for a cup of tea and a biscuit. Try get some gossip out of them


  • Advertisement
  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,821 ✭✭✭phill106


    Deport them.

    Unless they are extra-terrestrial aliens.
    In that case I will connect to their spaceship with a usb cable and take it over.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,546 ✭✭✭✭Poor Uncle Tom


    Kick Ray D'Arcy in the nuts.......


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 910 ✭✭✭Jagera


    You're sitting at home, watching the TV, when you hear a knock on the door, so you get up & answer it.

    You open the door to find two aliens standing outside in the cold.

    What would be your next course of action?

    spend the next 24 hours making one line wisecracks on boards


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,163 ✭✭✭yeppydeppy


    Ask them for a blem of their ship and feck off to live in a galaxy far far away, then train in a swamp to be a jedi and then save the universe from my father and his evil master.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 22,559 ✭✭✭✭AnonoBoy


    "No I don't want to hear about Jesus in America!"

    Feckin' Martian Mormons. :mad:


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 10,808 ✭✭✭✭chin_grin


    please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please
    please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please

    bring me for one, just one short ride in your spaceship

    please


    What if 'please' was their definition of 'c*nt'? No backseat spaceship shenanigans for you!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,546 ✭✭✭✭Poor Uncle Tom


    Encourage them to the idea that they will get far more knowledge from me by anal probing
    He didn't say they were at the back door....:p


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,705 ✭✭✭Mr Trade In


    Kill them and use their futuristic technology to take over the world.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,178 ✭✭✭✭NothingMan


    Show them my immense rubber ducky collection. Everyone loves rubber duckies.


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,941 ✭✭✭thebigbiffo


    chin_grin wrote: »
    What if 'please' was their definition of 'c*nt'? No backseat spaceship shenanigans for you!

    you've obviously never heard of the universal translator.

    some people are just so uneducated :rolleyes:


  • Advertisement
  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,467 ✭✭✭Wazdakka


    I think it'd be something along the lines of screaming "HOLY SHíTBALLS.. ALIENS!! REAL FúCKING ALIENS!!" at the top of my voice.
    Then it'd be out with a camera.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 10,808 ✭✭✭✭chin_grin


    you've obviously never heard of the universal translator.

    some people are just so uneducated :rolleyes:

    How'd you get one?

    Oh wait it's just a Google Translate App isn't it? I just can't keep up so I can't.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,463 ✭✭✭Antomus Prime


    Do the nasty with them............................ you know just so i could say ive done it.

    Would prob look good on a CV :)


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,714 ✭✭✭✭Earthhorse


    Take their jobs.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 10,808 ✭✭✭✭chin_grin


    Do the nasty with them............................ you know just so i could say ive done it.

    Would prob look good on a CV :)

    Who inserts jpegs on to their CV's? Goatse would probably look more appealing than me sticking a digit in to various alien openings.


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,272 ✭✭✭EverEvolving


    I would ask them that since they managed to find my door, to impart that knowledge to all the local delivery boys.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 53,262 ✭✭✭✭GavRedKing


    Take them to our leaders ;)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,327 ✭✭✭Sykk


    please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please
    please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please

    bring me for one, just one short ride
    FYP


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,360 ✭✭✭Archeron


    Hand them a bag of unwanted clothes and ask if they could find a good home for them.


  • Advertisement
  • Closed Accounts Posts: 8,595 ✭✭✭bonerm


    You're sitting at home, watching the TV, when you hear a knock on the door, so you get up & answer it.

    You open the door to find two aliens standing outside in the cold.

    What would be your next course of action?

    This would never happen.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,264 ✭✭✭✭jester77


    I'd ask them if they have any spare change


  • Posts: 0 CMod ✭✭✭✭ Brentley White Thinker


    zombies on your lawn


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 970 ✭✭✭dr ro


    make it quick, watching eastenders


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,605 ✭✭✭Fizman


    You're sitting at home, watching the TV, when you hear a knock on the door, so you get up & answer it.

    You open the door to find two aliens standing outside in the cold.

    What would be your next course of action?

    I'll be honest here. If it were two very good looking female aliens, I'd probably invite them in for a mug of Bovril and a threeway.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 970 ✭✭✭dr ro


    gavredking wrote: »
    Take them to our leaders ;)

    what have aliens ever done to you?


  • Advertisement
  • Registered Users Posts: 2,941 ✭✭✭thebigbiffo


    i'd say: f'uck yer fancy spaceship i've a horse outside.

    :pac:


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 10,808 ✭✭✭✭chin_grin


    i'd say: f'uck yer fancy spaceship i've a horse outside.

    :pac:

    ............................................________
    ....................................,.-'"...................``~.,
    .............................,.-"..................................."-.,
    .........................,/...............................................":,
    .....................,?......................................................,
    .................../...........................................................,}
    ................./......................................................,:`^`..}
    .............../...................................................,:"........./
    ..............?.....__.........................................:`.........../
    ............./__.(....."~-,_..............................,:`........../
    .........../(_...."~,_........"~,_....................,:`........_/
    ..........{.._$;_......"=,_......."-,_.......,.-~-,},.~";/....}
    ...........((.....*~_......."=-._......";,,./`..../"............../
    ...,,,___.`~,......"~.,....................`.....}............../
    ............(....`=-,,.......`........................(......;_,,-"
    ............/.`~,......`-...................................../
    .............`~.*-,.....................................|,./.....,__
    ,,_..........}.>-._...................................|..............`=~-,
    .....`=~-,__......`,.................................
    ...................`=~-,,.,...............................
    ................................`:,,...........................`..............__
    .....................................`=-,...................,%`>--==``
    ........................................_..........._,-%.......`
    ...................................,


  • Registered Users Posts: 337 ✭✭Doctor_Socks


    Jesus Marty, I see you've invented a cloning machine!


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,941 ✭✭✭thebigbiffo


    chin_grin wrote: »
    ............................................________
    ....................................,.-'"...................``~.,
    .............................,.-"..................................."-.,
    .........................,/...............................................":,
    .....................,?......................................................,
    .................../...........................................................,}
    ................./......................................................,:`^`..}
    .............../...................................................,:"........./
    ..............?.....__.........................................:`.........../
    ............./__.(....."~-,_..............................,:`........../
    .........../(_...."~,_........"~,_....................,:`........_/
    ..........{.._$;_......"=,_......."-,_.......,.-~-,},.~";/....}
    ...........((.....*~_......."=-._......";,,./`..../"............../
    ...,,,___.`~,......"~.,....................`.....}............../
    ............(....`=-,,.......`........................(......;_,,-"
    ............/.`~,......`-...................................../
    .............`~.*-,.....................................|,./.....,__
    ,,_..........}.>-._...................................|..............`=~-,
    .....`=~-,__......`,.................................
    ...................`=~-,,.,...............................
    ................................`:,,...........................`..............__
    .....................................`=-,...................,%`>--==``
    ........................................_..........._,-%.......`
    ...................................,


    :o


  • Registered Users Posts: 4,297 ✭✭✭Jaxxy


    i'd say: f'uck yer fancy spaceship i've a horse outside.

    :pac:

    I lol'd.


  • Advertisement
  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,332 ✭✭✭Guill


    Take my Pizza, pay him and close the door while i retire to rest my fat, Lazy, welfare ass on the couch.
    SO FAR THIS YEAR 6,621 work permits have been issued to non-EU citizens, particularly from China, India, Brazil, Romania, Malaysia and the Philippines, to fill jobs locals seem not to want. The work is overwhelmingly in minimum-wage sectors, including hospitality and catering. At a time when almost 450,000 people are on the live register, the question has to be: why won’t Irish people do the jobs?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,463 ✭✭✭Antomus Prime


    chin_grin wrote: »
    Who inserts jpegs on to their CV's? Goatse would probably look more appealing than me sticking a digit in to various alien openings.

    No not a picture, just in the experience Section, it would be unique :)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 8,704 ✭✭✭squod


    Ride them. No................


    Earthhorse wrote: »
    Take their jobs.

    Take their jobs then ride them.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,659 ✭✭✭CrazyRabbit


    Celebrate. It's not often I get a free anal probe.


Advertisement