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Would you ever...?

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  • 14-12-2010 9:29pm
    #1
    L.Jenkins
    Moderators, Computer Games Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 19,240 Mod ✭✭✭✭


    Just a question for the lgbt community. I wouldn't put this on anywhere near AH. Mods can lock this should they see fit.

    And the question, regardless of sexuality and personal preferences, would you date a trans person? Personally, I myself would have no problem dating another trans person.

    Anyone else have opinions on the matter?


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    #2
    Annasopra
    Registered Users Posts: 41,062 ✭✭✭✭Annasopra


    ItsThatManAgain wrote: »
    Just a question for the lgbt community. I wouldn't put this on anywhere near AH. Mods can lock this should they see fit.

    And the question, regardless of sexuality and personal preferences, would you date a trans person? Personally, I myself would have no problem dating another trans person.

    Anyone else have opinions on the matter?

    I'm not quite sure is the answer - I think if they were pre-transition then I probably wouldnt but yes I would consider dating a f2m post op - I don't think I could date a m2f at all because I'm gay but then I know this woman who lives most of the time as male but is pre op m2f and when I meet her in her male persona I find him incredibly attractive

    It was so much easier to blame it on Them. It was bleakly depressing to think that They were Us. If it was Them, then nothing was anyone's fault. If it was us, what did that make Me? After all, I'm one of Us. I must be. I've certainly never thought of myself as one of Them. No one ever thinks of themselves as one of Them. We're always one of Us. It's Them that do the bad things.

    Terry Pratchet



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    #3
    Lorrrrraine
    Closed Accounts Posts: 330 ✭✭Lorrrrraine


    It wouldn't be an issue for me.


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    #4
    Aard
    Registered Users Posts: 4,905 ✭✭✭Aard


    Probably not the PC thing to say around here, but no I wouldn't.


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    #5
    L.Jenkins
    Moderators, Computer Games Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 19,240 Mod ✭✭✭✭L.Jenkins


    It's just personal opinion and preferences. I'm not offended by your straight out no and atleast your honest.


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    #6
    Eebs
    Closed Accounts Posts: 259 ✭✭Eebs


    ItsThatManAgain wrote: »
    Just a question for the lgbt community. I wouldn't put this on anywhere near AH. Mods can lock this should they see fit.

    And the question, regardless of sexuality and personal preferences, would you date a trans person? Personally, I myself would have no problem dating another trans person.

    Anyone else have opinions on the matter?


    I really don't think people can know until their in the situation. I've dated someone who would have said no to this question.

    Edit: Because madly all trans people are different and your perception of what a trans person is or isn't can be totally off the mark. Then when you actually meet one you find attractive your perception totally changes. It's like 'would you date someone 10 years older then you'. Most people might say no but then if they actually met someone who was older who they really clicked with, who they really found attractive, they would.


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    #7
    deirdre_dub
    Registered Users Posts: 1,229 ✭✭✭deirdre_dub


    Aard wrote: »
    Probably not the PC thing to say around here, but no I wouldn't.
    Why not?


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    #8
    Rev Hellfire
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,346 ✭✭✭Rev Hellfire


    Don't believe I would.


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    #9
    Links234
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,944 ✭✭✭✭Links234


    Would you date a cisgender person?


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    #10
    Sir Ophiuchus
    Registered Users Posts: 1,035 ✭✭✭Sir Ophiuchus


    I've dated an intersex person, I could date a trans person.

    The only issue might be that, depending on their transition, etc, they might have body parts that I'm just not innately attracted to.

    The fact that they're trans? Definitely not an issue.


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    #11
    Max Power1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,272 ✭✭✭✭Max Power1


    I would.

    It was actually something I would have liked to experience. (A m2f preferably pre op, not that ive thought much about it ;))


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    #12
    Aard
    Registered Users Posts: 4,905 ✭✭✭Aard


    deirdre_dub wrote: »
    Why not?
    Why don't I like tinned tuna? Why don't I like golf? Why don't I like sun holidays?


    I don't know, and don't particularly care if I never find out why.


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    #13
    KnifeWRENCH
    Closed Accounts Posts: 11,148 ✭✭✭✭KnifeWRENCH


    I'd like to say yes here - I consider myself bisexual and if I'm attracted to someone it doesn't really matter to me if they are male or female.

    But I don't think I'd ever be attracted to someone who was transgender tbh. I have nothing against transsexual people, I just would never envisage myself ever being in a relationship with a trans person.

    But having said that, I've never actually met anyone who was trans (at least not to my knowledge, anyway) so I suppose I can't say I never would.


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    #14
    baby and crumble
    Registered Users Posts: 8,512 ✭✭✭baby and crumble


    I remember having this debate on here before... I am pretty much exclusively attracted to females, so I would imagine so long as she looked like a girl (as in had all the associated parts to be blunt) then yeah, defintely. I know I've defintely been attracted to TG girls.

    BUt I don't think I could be attracted to someone who I met and fell for as female who then transitioned. I think it'd be too weird for me.


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    #15
    Donnaghm
    Registered Users Posts: 299 ✭✭Donnaghm


    Hmmm, maybe a m2f pre op, but not post op. I just need someone with a penis and no breasts. What can I say, I'm gay.


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    #16
    DubArk
    Registered Users Posts: 831 ✭✭✭DubArk


    I wouldn’t seek to go out with a transgender and as I’m gay they would have to have a working penis and no breasts….. :confused:

    Seems to me to be a bit of a tall order. But never say never!

    Would it be wrong for me to say I think it would be easier for a Straight guy or Lesbian to go out with a M2F!!


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    #17
    baby and crumble
    Registered Users Posts: 8,512 ✭✭✭baby and crumble


    DubArk wrote:
    I wouldn’t seek to go out with a transgender and as I’m gay they would have to have a working penis and no breasts…..

    Seems to me to be a bit of a tall order. But never say never!

    Would it be wrong for me to say I think it would be easier for a Straight guy or Lesbian to go out with a M2F!!

    Don't forget there are female to male tg too. They'd have all the bits, post-op.

    I do think that sometimes, there is a hierarchy apparent in the lgbt community.

    In general, in media coverage, etc gay men > lesbians, everyone > bisexuals (sigh) and m2f > f2m. When people talk about gay people, they assume gay man. When people talk about transgender issues, they assume male to female. Why is that? (ok, I realise thats a bit off topic!)


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    #18
    L1011
    Registered Users Posts: 68,705 ✭✭✭✭L1011


    zoegh wrote: »
    Don't forget there are female to male tg too. They'd have all the bits, post-op.

    Its not going to be quite working, or going on what I've seen in medical journals, even vaguely convincing afterwards.


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    #19
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    I'm bisexual and I have to say I wouldnt. It would be a complete turn off. I wish it weren't but it's just not for me


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    #20
    Eebs
    Closed Accounts Posts: 259 ✭✭Eebs


    Can we not have a referendum on trans peoples genitals here please? It's not the place for it. Or would you like to discuss your cock size, shape and functionality with the class?


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    #21
    deirdre_dub
    Registered Users Posts: 1,229 ✭✭✭deirdre_dub


    Aard wrote: »
    deirdre_dub wrote:
    Why not?
    Why don't I like tinned tuna? Why don't I like golf? Why don't I like sun holidays?
    But if you like men (women), why don't you like transmen (transwomen)?


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    #22
    deirdre_dub
    Registered Users Posts: 1,229 ✭✭✭deirdre_dub


    Rev Hellfire wrote: »
    Don't believe I would.
    Same question as I asked previously - why not?


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    #23
    rainbow kirby
    Registered Users Posts: 26,928 ✭✭✭✭rainbow kirby


    Eebs wrote: »
    Can we not have a referendum on trans peoples genitals here please? It's not the place for it. Or would you like to discuss your cock size, shape and functionality with the class?

    Agreed. Keep the thread to the topic at hand - which is the general question about whether you would date a trans person.


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    #24
    Aard
    Registered Users Posts: 4,905 ✭✭✭Aard


    deirdre_dub wrote: »
    But if you like men (women), why don't you like transmen (transwomen)?
    Why should I?


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    #25
    baby and crumble
    Registered Users Posts: 8,512 ✭✭✭baby and crumble


    To be fair, sexual attraction, for most people, does have something to do with genitals. If it didn't there would be no such thing as gay or straight anyway. I like girls. I don't want sex with, and therefore never would I date, someone with a penis. I'm not on here saying I'd only like TG girls who had massive boobs, or a small bum. i would imagine for anyone who likes men, a fully functional penis is important. Not the be-all and end all, obviously, but there is some need, if we're talking about this subject, to tell it like it is.

    I genuinely don't mean to offend by saying that, and I agree, personal chat about penii (is that the plural :confused:) or breasts don't have a place here. But if people feel that needing to have full sex with a person to be able to date/fall in love/ etc is crucial, and that they don't believe it would be possible for them with a particular person, I don't see what the issue is. I'm sorry if that comes across as harsh.


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    #26
    Annasopra
    Registered Users Posts: 41,062 ✭✭✭✭Annasopra


    Eebs suggested and Rainbow kirby as mod agreed that getting into discussion about trans genitalia is not really appropriate, - I'll lock the discussion if people keep going on about it

    It was so much easier to blame it on Them. It was bleakly depressing to think that They were Us. If it was Them, then nothing was anyone's fault. If it was us, what did that make Me? After all, I'm one of Us. I must be. I've certainly never thought of myself as one of Them. No one ever thinks of themselves as one of Them. We're always one of Us. It's Them that do the bad things.

    Terry Pratchet



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    #27
    hare05
    Registered Users Posts: 1,041 ✭✭✭hare05


    Would I date a transperson? Depends on the person. Same applies to every 'category' of people. You can have sex with anyone, the question is whether you can stand seeing them daily :)

    I guess the genital issue doesn't affect me as I simply don't want to use my own 'originals'.

    On that note... been getting texts from this really nice gay guy recently and they've been getting a bit steamy... I like him but he doesn't know I'm trans, though from what I can tell he's a top... general confusion over what to do lol. Still in boy mode here. Come out to him? Go out and hope he doesn't have plans for my front bits? Being trans is confusing...


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    #28
    Rev Hellfire
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,346 ✭✭✭Rev Hellfire


    deirdre_dub wrote: »
    Same question as I asked previously - why not?

    Simply because its not for me.


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    #29
    Nevyn
    Closed Accounts Posts: 43,045 ✭✭✭✭Nevyn


    Never say never but I would currently have to say no.
    I am bisexual not pansexual.


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    #30
    hare05
    Registered Users Posts: 1,041 ✭✭✭hare05


    ItsThatManAgain wrote: »
    Just a question for the lgbt community. I wouldn't put this on anywhere near AH. Mods can lock this should they see fit.

    And the question, regardless of sexuality and personal preferences, would you date a trans person? Personally, I myself would have no problem dating another trans person.

    Anyone else have opinions on the matter?

    <rant>

    The problem here is this isn't a very good question. It's like asking someone if they would date a person who was black, asian, muslim, <insert stereotype here>.

    The answer would be based on the stereotype, and not the individual. What you end up with is the above, a slew of seemingly racist remarks with a sprinkle of PC replies, transpeople lose confidence in themselves, the issue of whether transition makes you equal to the target sex (See bisexual vs pansexual above)...

    And no one seems to figure out how pointless the discussion is. There are many people I won't date, I don't call them transpeople / gay / lesbian / <other stereotype>. I call them assholes. That's why I won't consider them. End of story.

    </rant>

    Now can we please get some more inspirational pics in the transition pics thread? I feel like being happy today. :D


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    #31
    deirdre_dub
    Registered Users Posts: 1,229 ✭✭✭deirdre_dub


    Aard wrote: »
    deirdre_dub wrote:
    But if you like men (women), why don't you like transmen (transwomen)?
    Why should I?
    Why should you like men (or women)? I dunno - because you are a sexual being, perhaps?

    What I don't get is if you do like men (or women), which I have to admit is an assumption of mine (you could be asexual), then why do you automatically exclude transmen (and transwomen)? Transmen (and transwomen) are basically just men (and women) with a genetic defect.


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