Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie

I messed up with a bully!!

Options
2»

Comments

  • Options
    #32
    L.Jenkins
    Moderators, Computer Games Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 19,240 Mod ✭✭✭✭L.Jenkins


    cooltown wrote: »
    Its just a thing in the school. With all cases of bullying. You have to have a witness or they have to admit to it. When I was in 1st year I reported bullying and they did nothing about it. It just made the bullying a lot worse. Even one of the teachers heard me being called a f*g and her response was boys will be boys..

    I feel your pain in that case. I was bullied in secondary school unmercilessly on an emotional and psychological level, the worst kind of all. When it was reported it did get a whole lot worse for me, but I was the one who mostly got into trouble for it as I developed a bit of a temper that would lead to a few slaps being given. Needless to say it cured my problems temporaily, but I got to know the principal also my phsyics teacher very well because of it.

    Schools need to have a policy in place, because it will be too late when students regardless of gender and sexuality kill themselves through feelings of low self-estime and worth.


  • Options
    #33
    jay93
    Registered Users Posts: 3,323 ✭✭✭jay93


    the best thing you can do if they come upto you again dont back down at all i don't like fighting i'm not like that but people like this deserve a hit in the face to be honest it will shut them up and they know that you wont just back down to them,i think it's a terrible thing getting bullied in school it only ever happened to me in 1st year in school people from my own village sneering that i had a lisp which i didn't so one of my older friends get onto him and he never annoyed me after that i was shy at the time only 13 now no-one would say anything to me now id flip at them :(:mad::mad: i think schools don't do enough about bullying tough to me my school didn't seem all that bothered my forum teacher was the only one who tried to sort it out ..anyways OP hopefully they stop annoying you its just childish what they are doing to you,the bullies must have deep down problems that they feel that they have to take it out on other people,just don't let them get you down :)


  • Options
    #34
    L.Jenkins
    Moderators, Computer Games Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 19,240 Mod ✭✭✭✭L.Jenkins


    It's easy to slap someone around the place should the situation arise, but when their tact is psychological, then serious problems can arise if you're not prepared for it. Most bullies are cowards who will avoid phsyical confrontation incase they become the victims themselves.

    Such people usually are victims of abuse and bullying themselves as their own behaviour is expressed to increase their own self worth and feeling that they have some control and power in some small way. Thanks to secondary school though, I was left with 5 years I'd rather forget, another 5 years of counselling, anger management, treatment for depression and was a borderline alcoholic before I even hit 19.

    Some schools are way too dismissive of this behaviour and all too often underestimate the level of devastation it can cause to a persons life and their own basic functioning in this world. Sadly this is the pretty picture left for some victims if they don't commit suicide. As I've said, schools need policies to help students and fúck this whole kids will be kids shíte, it's not on and certainly not apart of growing up.

    Never mind my story though, that's long since behind me.


  • Options
    #35
    Boston
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,163 ✭✭✭✭Boston


    Bullying is seldom clear cut from an outside prospective though. Often bullies will claim they themselves are the victims. Sometimes we can look back on our past experiences with rose tinted glasses with regards out own behaviour at the time.


  • Options
    #36
    SugarHigh
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,265 ✭✭✭SugarHigh


    Boston wrote: »
    Bullying is seldom clear cut from an outside prospective though. Often bullies will claim they themselves are the victims. Sometimes we can look back on our past experiences with rose tinted glasses with regards out own behaviour at the time.
    +1
    Life isn't like a tv show where there is always an obvious good and bad guy.


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #37
    rainbow kirby
    Registered Users Posts: 26,928 ✭✭✭✭rainbow kirby


    Boston wrote: »
    Bullying is seldom clear cut from an outside prospective though. Often bullies will claim they themselves are the victims. Sometimes we can look back on our past experiences with rose tinted glasses with regards out own behaviour at the time.

    No matter what way you look at it, there is no excuse for bullying.


  • Options
    #38
    Boston
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,163 ✭✭✭✭Boston


    I'll put it this way, if you're going to take things into your own hands then it makes it very hard for a teacher at a later stage to help out. I recall being away on a school trip were eye brow shavings were the norm. At the end of the trip a group of lads held down and shaved the eyebrows of one of the main instigators of the aforementioned shavings. He was in absolute floods of tears, proving yet again sometimes people can give it out, but not take it. I'm sure he looks back on that event as bullying, without ever questioning his own actions.

    Point is, it's difficult for a teacher to act when there's only your word that you're the innocent party. It's been my experience that there's seldom examples of pure vindictive bullying behaviour. Perhaps a teacher would care to differ?

    btw, I say this as someone who was both physically and physiologically bullied through primary school. It took a major change in myself to stop it.


  • Options
    #39
    L.Jenkins
    Moderators, Computer Games Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 19,240 Mod ✭✭✭✭L.Jenkins


    Boston wrote: »
    It's been my experience that there's seldom examples of pure vindictive bullying behaviour. Perhaps a teacher would care to differ?

    Yes in your experience, but it happens. There's some down right evil little bástards in the world and I should know. It's very easy for a bully and their buddies to use the 'your word against mine' tact. Sadly I took some shameless measures myself because nothing was being done and in all honesty, I still wouldn't píss on those same people today if they were on fire as they stole what were supposed to be the 5 five best years of my live. So think how someone would actually feel in certain circumstances, before saying that such cases are marginal.


  • Options
    #40
    Boston
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,163 ✭✭✭✭Boston


    ItsThatManAgain wrote: »
    Yes in your experience, but it happens. There's some down right evil little bástards in the world and I should know. It's very easy for a bully and their buddies to use the 'your word against mine' tact. Sadly I took some shameless measures myself because nothing was being done and in all honesty, I still wouldn't píss on those same people today if they were on fire as they stole what were supposed to be the 5 five best years of my live. So think how someone would actually feel in certain circumstances, before saying that such cases are marginal.

    I know exactly how it feels. In my final year of secondary school a teacher took a dislike to me as I was coming between him and his ****ed up farther fantasy with some of my friends. He spread rumours and lies among my class mates that my mother was responsible for various decision taken by the school board. Some of the lads took what he said to heart and made their feeling known to me. The matter was settled between with myself and my class mates after some very shameful violence. That was only the beginning of the **** that man did. He did worse to others.

    For a long time I hated him like you hate the people who stole your school years. And I mean hate. So I'm not going to preach to you of forgiveness. But the reality is most people never deal crap on that level. Good or bad they leave school behind when they finish, only a few people have experiences so horrible that they'll stay with them for the rest of their life. Thankfully.


  • Options
    #41
    L.Jenkins
    Moderators, Computer Games Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 19,240 Mod ✭✭✭✭L.Jenkins


    Well when a teacher starts such BS, it can make things much worse for a student. I'll never understand why some people make it a point to belittle others as nothing is achieved by it.

    As for a teacher, I would have taken hime to task for such behaviour. When it comes from a teacher, it's much worse.


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #42
    Annasopra
    Registered Users Posts: 41,062 ✭✭✭✭Annasopra


    Boston wrote: »
    Bullying is seldom clear cut from an outside prospective though. Often bullies will claim they themselves are the victims. Sometimes we can look back on our past experiences with rose tinted glasses with regards out own behaviour at the time.
    what's your point? The guy is coming on looking for supportive advice about what's happening currently

    It was so much easier to blame it on Them. It was bleakly depressing to think that They were Us. If it was Them, then nothing was anyone's fault. If it was us, what did that make Me? After all, I'm one of Us. I must be. I've certainly never thought of myself as one of Them. No one ever thinks of themselves as one of Them. We're always one of Us. It's Them that do the bad things.

    Terry Pratchet



  • Options
    #43
    Boston
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,163 ✭✭✭✭Boston


    ItsThatManAgain wrote: »
    Well when a teacher starts such BS, it can make things much worse for a student. I'll never understand why some people make it a point to belittle others as nothing is achieved by it.

    As for a teacher, I would have taken hime to task for such behaviour. When it comes from a teacher, it's much worse.

    Theres a long story.
    Johnnymcg wrote: »
    what's your point? The guy is coming on looking for supportive advice about what's happening currently

    Discussion had moved towards why a teacher might find it difficult to act. I thought my point was clear and illustrated a possible reason why a teacher had not acted in the past.


Advertisement