7 months pregnant- getting a seat on train?

Ayla

Wolfe Tone wrote: »

Im not a fan of having rancid druggies sitting beside me cheers.

Not to completely pull this thread off topic, but 2 things i must say: 1) don't judge a book by its cover, and 2) you get up & move next time, b/c if all these "rancid druggies" really are crowding the commuter bus/train, then surely you don't want to be sitting down underneath them...i'd be as close to the door as possible in case they all decide to spontaneously hurl

Rant done.

Wolfe Tone

Ayla wrote: »

Not to completely pull this thread off topic, but 2 things i must say: 1) don't judge a book by its cover, and 2) you get up & move next time, b/c if all these "rancid druggies" really are crowding the commuter bus/train, then surely you don't want to be sitting down underneath them...i'd be as close to the door as possible in case they all decide to spontaneously hurl

Rant done.

Thats the point, there isnt many(you know them when you see them) and if there is a bag on the seat they will move to another empty one. You spend a 40 min bus ride listening to a drug addict after he comes out of the clinic and see if its an experience you want to repeat.

January

Lets keep the thread on topic please

I'm overdue and I've been on the Luas several times in the past week and not been offered a seat. I don't mind as much when it's so busy that people sitting down can't actually see the bump, but it usually isn't. I'm like a hawk now though - I can scout out empty seats from miles away!

My husband is very good as well - if we're getting the Luas home together he barges on in front of all the other passengers and guards a seat until I can get there. I'm sure they all hate him for pushing on but if people were only more polite in the first place he wouldn't have to.

Craven99

Butterflylove wrote: »

I think your a gent Craven! My OH walks on the outside of me on the footpaths like yourself

I know I should just ask no one is going to say no when asked tbh,

I just find it pretty rude the seat hasnt been offered in the first place, not just to myself but others who clearly need it


We then have to ask someone who wasnt exaclty forth coming with their seat to give it up, just puts you off.


I was hoping this morning that someone who be polite and offer? Am I wrong in expecting someone to have manners? I'm sure I would ask if it wasn't a case of someone getting off the bus and a seat becoming free.

Well in some ways I can understand why some guys would not offer a seat. I believe the equality argument swung very far from one direction tot he next and there is in fairness some women who would feel offended in being offered a seat. As I mentioned I have been berated on a number of occasions for doing that.
I believe though that people are mixing up manners with equality.
I think you will be left waiting if you are hoping in general people will offer but I don't believe that most people will mind being asked.
Or of course you could stand beside a load of seated people, stick out your belly, rub it and raise your eybrows a couple of times.....;)

Kintarō Hattori

the_syco wrote: »

I only really offer my seat to old people, and people who are obviously pregnant, as opposed to just "big".

I have to agree here. I would gladly give a seat to somene who needs it. If a lady was obviously pregnant then she'd have my seat in a heartbeat. However what if she's merely 'tubby'. I had that dilemma last week. A woman got on the train but I couldn't tell if she was pregnant or just a little plump.

After having my head taken off me and being shouted at on a crowded bus many years ago for offering my seat to a feminist (I didn't know she was at the time) I don't give it up unless someone clearly needs it more than me. I'm not being selfish but I don't want a dressing down from someone who doesn't have the grace to accept a little chivalry.

Butterflylove

I have heard the luas is terrible for seats! Dart is a nightmare people pushing on before anyone has a chance to get off etc! I avoid it like the plague!


Confirmed discussing will be on at 2pm so if you happen to have the radio on, Im sure it be an interesting listen!


I can understand why some people would be afraid to offer their seat I know there have been times myself I've questioned whether I should offer or not...


I think the idea the the london underground have with the badges 'Baby on Board' are good for making it clear whether someone is a little plump or preggers, or even if a woman is suffering with really bad morning sickness (its nasty I had it for 14wks and standing well swaying makes it alot worse!)

I think the worse offenders are actually school kids I got on the bus this morning (wearing a very fitted dress could not miss the bump) two school kids sitting in the priority seats looked at me and didnt budge!
I moved down past two more rows of seats, to two lads sitting oppsite one another chatting I stood in between them and the girl in front of them offered me her seat which I was sooooo grateful of! Poor bump gets bashed trying to let people ( the worst school kids with a million bags) pass if they are getting off bus.


I also hope to throw out when some people are to lazy to actually get up off their seat and just turn in the seat to let the inside person pass them! Ive ended up many a lap because of this! :mad:

SarahJ

I'm currently on the maynooth train, I get this every morning. I am 8 months pregs. My god, do I have to be giving birth in the aisle to actually get a seat???? I'm nearly in tears here with the lack of human compassion and hormones. It's digsusting. I'm clearly pregnant, but people will actually walk by me to get the next free seat. I stand from coolmine to connolly, and then get a sit, bit get off at Tara! What is the problem with people today, it's unbelievable.

the_syco

SarahJ wrote: »

I stand from coolmine to connolly, and then get a sit, bit get off at Tara! What is the problem with people today, it's unbelievable.

ASK FOR A SEAT!!!! No-one will say no if you ask nicely, and if they do, someone else will offer the seat.

=-=

Oh, and no-one is ever "clearly" pregnant. There's always a possibility that they're just fat, and may get offended if you offer the seat.

SarahJ

the_syco wrote: »

ASK FOR A SEAT!!!! No-one will say no if you ask nicely, and if they do, someone else will offer the seat.

=-=

Oh, and no-one is ever "clearly" pregnant. There's always a possibility that they're just fat, and may get offended if you offer the seat.

Why should we have to ask for a seat??? surely its just polite to offer a pregnant person a seat! I always would, I would never wait to be asked, its an awkward situation that one would have to ask. Why would you assume that someone else will? Sure look what happened me this morning, people close their eyes and pretend not to see me, why would you assume someone would then offer?
As for no one being obviously pregnant, I have never heard such absolute rubbish. I am clearly pregnant, its very very hard to mix it up when i have a football shaped lump on my belly and am not fat anywhere else.

Butterflylove

the_syco wrote: »

ASK FOR A SEAT!!!! No-one will say no if you ask nicely, and if they do, someone else will offer the seat.

=-=

Oh, and no-one is ever "clearly" pregnant. There's always a possibility that they're just fat, and may get offended if you offer the seat.

At 8 mths and wearing a figure hugging dress its pretty clear Im pregnant there is no mistaking it? Im actually slimmer everywhere else now then I was before I was pregnant (so abotu a size ten) yet have something larger then football around my waist.... I dont think I could look anymore pregnant if I tried!



Its actually alot more embarressing and harder asking for a seat off someone who clearly didnt want to offer it in the first place?

part time punk

Must say my wife had very different experiences to many here during her pregnancy. Normally coming to/from work on the bus through the 'less desirable' areas it was always the 'skangers in hoodies and tracksuits' who offerred her their seat. On the occassional jaunt out on the Luas green line through the 'nice areas' like Ranelagh, Dundrum etc. it was always the men & women in business suits with briefcases who barged past her and the bump to the free seat. Anyhow, she's pregnant again so we'll see how she gets on when the bump starts showing

How Strange

the_syco, I agree that sometimes you see a woman and you're just not sure if she's pregnant or overweight because of her shape but if there's a woman standing in front of you with a huge bump you can be pretty certain she's pregnant and not just overly fond of doughnuts.

cathy01

Im 3 months gone on baby no 4.I had an elbow to me as a guy ran to get a seat.It wasnt ckear as day I was pregnant, but Im showing.I have to travel 40 mins there and back on the train , sometimes every week.Im investing in a baby on board T shirt, just for the journey.That way no one will be in doubth.Cathy

ted1

some people get insulted if offered a seat. It's a hard call. At eight months should you not be on leave ?

hunnymonster

most people only start their leave at 38 weeks (you have to take minimum 2 weeks before due date) to have the most time with the baby when they arrive.



I have been following this debate but didn't want to have an opinion until I hit the 7 month mark as I had no idea what being 7 months pregnant would feel like. I know everyone's pregnancy is different and when I get to work I'm then sitting at a desk rather than on my feet but tbh, I would rather not be offered a seat. I don't think I need one any more than someone else who has paid for their seat. That said, if I'm offered one, I would simply say "no thank you, I'm fine, but thanks for offering" rather than launch into the made-from-glass tirade.

cathy01

As it was before I got pregnant I had a very very bad back.I spent weeks in hospital.Now, even last night I was awake for hours with it.I couldn't lie down with the pain.Having to stand, for 40 mins is a killer, having a baby on board as well, just leaves me with a night of back ache and not having the true luxury of been able to take strong painkillers.I would snap the hand off you and probably hug you at the same time for being so kind.

chillywilly

I only read through the first page of this thread and was already surprised by the lack of manners and general empathy shown by some people on public transport! I would never let a visibly pregnant woman stand and I would offer my seat in a flash. Same goes for the elderly.

Reminds me of when I was waiting at a busy bus stop in Rathmines 2 years ago. This elderly man suddenly started leaning on a few of us waiting at the bus stop(it was clear he was on the brink of collapsing. I was disgusted at the amount of people that just backed away from him as if he was a knacker or trying to rob them. He was disoriented so me and another man brought him into a cafe, sat him down, got him water and I eventually got him a taxi. I'll never forget the little thumbs up he gave me while driving away as if to say thanks for helping

One elderly woman at the bus stop said "fair play to you, there isn't many around like you" :eek: I told her it was just common sense. And the way I was brought up I suppose.
I'll never forget that day as it really shocked me at the amount of people that didn't bother to try helping him

Anyway sorry for going off a bit there! My main point: give up your seat for pregnant women folks!!

Storminateacup

There would be no question giving my seat up for an elderly person or a pregnant person. It is astounding that theres people that wouldn't. Especially on buses or in dr's surgery. My grandad had both his hips operated on recently, and before he had it done, he was in so much pain he was actually walking with a zimmer frame. It makes me sick to my stomach to think those illreared scum that seem to frequent public transport would leave someone like him standing.

Obese people is an entirely different story -- theres no way I would offer them my seat. Not because I detest fat people, but because its not my fault they have put their bodies under so much stress and if an obese lady/gent asked me to move from my seat I would refuse.

Ayla

I suppose this thread has served mainly to highlight how self-centred people are. By this I mean that people either:

1) Think of only themselves by remaining firmly planted in their seats (or placing objects in adjoining seats), even when someone visably needs it, or

2) Think of only themselves when they're too scared of getting told off to even offer their seat.

The way I see it, I will always offer my seat to anyone, and if my child is traveling with me, I will put them on my lap to offer their seat to someone else. I personally have never even thought of the offered seat being rejected. If it is, it is, and I can happily remain seated with a clear conscience. But if someone - pregnant, old, disabled, drunk or fat - asks for my seat then clearly they need it more than me so I'm happy to move. Common courtesy.

...Not because I detest fat people, but because its not my fault they have put their bodies under so much stress and if an obese lady/gent asked me to move from my seat I would refuse.

And storminateacup - you had me with your last post, until you made the comment about obese people. You have no idea why someone may be overweight, and making such a gross generalisation really isn't fair. You're no more "at fault" for making that pregnant woman pregnant, or that old person old, or that injured person injured.

Storminateacup

Ayla wrote: »

And storminateacup - you had me with your last post, until you made the comment about obese people. You have no idea why someone may be overweight, and making such a gross generalisation really isn't fair. You're no more "at fault" for making that pregnant woman pregnant, or that old person old, or that injured person injured.

Pregnant people are carrying another life, Injured people are clearly in more of a need of a seat than I am, as are elderly.

I find it hard to symphatize with obese people, and its because of their own actions that they are unable to stand. They have done it to their own body. More and more people are becoming obese, choosing to live an unhealthy lifestyle, and if thats the path they choose, they cannot go around on public transport, ect expecting others to vacate their seats purely because theyre too heavy to stand on their own two feet.

cynder

Storminateacup wrote: »

Pregnant people are carrying another life, Injured people are clearly in more of a need of a seat than I am, as are elderly.

I find it hard to symphatize with obese people, and its because of their own actions that they are unable to stand. They have done it to their own body. More and more people are becoming obese, choosing to live an unhealthy lifestyle, and if thats the path they choose, they cannot go around on public transport, ect expecting others to vacate their seats purely because theyre too heavy to stand on their own two feet.

What if the OBESE person has a heart complaint (its not tattooed on their forehead)
what if the obese person has an under active thyroid (that caused the person to be obese)
what if the obese person has high bp (also not tattooed on their forehead)
also
what if the obese person has diabetes and cant stand too long on their feet due to ulcers/bad circulation? (also not tattooed on their forehead)

What if the obese person is pregnant?

Many things are not clear cut.

And as for this statement 'I find it hard to symphatize with obese people, and its because of their own actions that they are unable to stand' same can be said for a pregnant lady! compassion anyone????

chillywilly

To be honest if there was any reason why I wouldn't offer an obese person a seat it would be because they might be mortified to be offered it based on their weight. I wouldn't like to embarrass anyone either.

Storminateacup

grindelwald wrote: »

What if the OBESE person has a heart complaint (its not tattooed on their forehead)
what if the obese person has an under active thyroid (that caused the person to be obese)
what if the obese person has high bp (also not tattooed on their forehead)
also
what if the obese person has diabetes and cant stand too long on their feet due to ulcers/bad circulation? (also not tattooed on their forehead)

What if the obese person is pregnant?

Many things are not clear cut.

And as for this statement 'I find it hard to symphatize with obese people, and its because of their own actions that they are unable to stand' same can be said for a pregnant lady! compassion anyone????

There's a lot of what-ifs right there, so lets throw that back out there as a "what-if" theres something wrong with me and its not tattooed on my forehead either?

Leaving aside the fact that most of those illnesses you mentioned would be caused by the fact they were obese.

And since you mention diabetes - I have diabetes (type 1), and its certainly not tattooed on my forehead. There is no question about giving up a seat - anywhere- to an elderly person or a pregnant person, I wouldn't inconvenience myself for someone who has clearly has a blatent disregard for their own health. Yes of course that person may have a medical condition causing them to be obese, but lets be realistic. Most of the time its because they live very unhealthy lives and overindulge in unhealthy diets . They shouldn't pick and choose what aspects of their health worries them most. If they're worried enough about their diabetes/heart complaint to ask for a seat, they should be worried enough about their diabetes/heart complaint to do something about it.

sam34

Storminateacup wrote: »

Pregnant people are carrying another life, Injured people are clearly in more of a need of a seat than I am, as are elderly.

I find it hard to symphatize with obese people, and its because of their own actions that they are unable to stand. They have done it to their own body. More and more people are becoming obese, choosing to live an unhealthy lifestyle, and if thats the path they choose, they cannot go around on public transport, ect expecting others to vacate their seats purely because theyre too heavy to stand on their own two feet.

One could argue that pregnant women are pregnant because of their own actions (excluding cases of rape obviously), they have chosen to get/remain pregnant etc

Winnie

i fear this thread is getting slightly off the original topic??

Squiggler

Winnie wrote: »

i fear this thread is getting slightly off the original topic??

Nicely understated Winnie

Max Power1

sam34 wrote: »

One could argue that pregnant women are pregnant because of their own actions (excluding cases of rape obviously), they have chosen to get/remain pregnant etc

+1

I was just going to quote the previous post and state the exact same could be said of pregnancy but I see you've gotten there first

John Mason

well, there you go - i offered a clearly pregnant woman a seat this monring and she sneered at me that "that she was perfectly capable of standing"

Last time i will be offering someone a seat :mad:

Butterflylove

irishbird wrote: »

well, there you go - i offered a clearly pregnant woman a seat this monring and she sneered at me that "that she was perfectly capable of standing"

Last time i will be offering someone a seat :mad:

Dont let the actions of one put you off helping others! There will be times when people act like that but honestly Im glad of your manners! Its people like herself that end up looking stupid who dnt bother with the manners to gracefully decline your seat!!


I was offered a seat of a person this morning and without it I would have collapsed on bus and injuryed myself and baby!


So I say thank you to yourself even tho that woman didnt have the manners too!!