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Kids living in Uk

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    #32
    Fittle
    Registered Users Posts: 2,775 ✭✭✭Fittle


    Richyd wrote: »
    She moved over to the uk with her new guy and lived off his mother for a few months till she got on her feet.
    Im not wanted them to live with me i only want what any father wants and that to be able to see them and spend time with them during holidays. I dont think im asking for much wanting to watch them grow and for them to have there real father around. .

    So this 18yr olds mother financially supported a strange woman, and her 5 kids????

    From what I've read so far OP, this is all about everything you have done for her. The car you bought, the house you decorated, her other children you raised etc etc. You state above, that you only want 'what any father wants, and that is to be able to see them and spend time with during the holidays'.

    Firstly, that is a very sweeping, and very incorrect statement to make. No where are you saying that you would like to raise your children, which I assume, IS what any father wants.

    You now have a partner who has a 4yr old, and you are no doubt, helping her raise that child.

    All the while, your two kids are in the uk, being raised by a person you have described as a horrible, horrible person and her 18yr old boyfriend.

    Time to stop playing the victim OP. If you really want to be a father to these kids, as opposed to just wanting to rant about fathers rights, then get yourself on a plane and at the very least, make an attempt to visit them. Send them a christmas card. Open a bank account for them, so that when they are older, you can at least prove to them that you fought for them.


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    #33
    K-9
    Registered Users Posts: 43,311 ✭✭✭✭K-9


    Fittle wrote: »
    So this 18yr olds mother financially supported a strange woman, and her 5 kids????

    From what I've read so far OP, this is all about everything you have done for her. The car you bought, the house you decorated, her other children you raised etc etc. You state above, that you only want 'what any father wants, and that is to be able to see them and spend time with during the holidays'.

    Firstly, that is a very sweeping, and very incorrect statement to make. No where are you saying that you would like to raise your children, which I assume, IS what any father wants.

    You now have a partner who has a 4yr old, and you are no doubt, helping her raise that child.

    All the while, your two kids are in the uk, being raised by a person you have described as a horrible, horrible person and her 18yr old boyfriend.

    Time to stop playing the victim OP. If you really want to be a father to these kids, as opposed to just wanting to rant about fathers rights, then get yourself on a plane and at the very least, make an attempt to visit them. Send them a christmas card. Open a bank account for them, so that when they are older, you can at least prove to them that you fought for them.

    Think you are incorrect there on the 18 year old Fittle, that was the first father, before the OP. It's hard to keep track though.

    I'm sure he would love to raise his children but it's unlikely a court would given the length of time that has elapsed, plus it mightn't be fair on them if they are there 2 years and are being reasonably looked after.

    Mad Men's Don Draper : What you call love was invented by guys like me, to sell nylons.



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    #34
    K-9
    Registered Users Posts: 43,311 ✭✭✭✭K-9


    Apologies, reading back, you are right.

    Mad Men's Don Draper : What you call love was invented by guys like me, to sell nylons.



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    #35
    Fittle
    Registered Users Posts: 2,775 ✭✭✭Fittle


    K-9 wrote: »

    I'm sure he would love to raise his children but it's unlikely a court would given the length of time that has elapsed, plus it mightn't be fair on them if they are there 2 years and are being reasonably looked after.


    Actually, he hasn't said he wants to raise his kids at all. he's said he'd like to see them on holidays and be a part of their life. That's about it.

    While I'm all for fathers rights, and I agree that the legal system in this country for unmarried fathers is appalling, and I agree that a judge would not give him full custody at this point, it seems he's moved on anyway, and all but given up on seeing his kids again.


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    #36
    Richyd
    Registered Users Posts: 18 ✭Richyd


    ok for starters my present partner (of near 8 years) and i have a 4yo boy together. I am not gonna fool myself by thinking i can get full custody. i am trying to be realistic and think i can only get access to them on holidays. I do have a bank account for both of them and lodge as much as i can afford into it. As for gettin on a plane and seein them well in a heartbeat i would but im afraid you have no idea what type of woman we are dealing with. I have to do everything she says cause if i dont she just closes her door to me. Believe me i have tried. 2 years ago i decided not to live by her rules anymore and a judge agreed and she left for the uk. I would do anything for my kids but as you know its not easy when i have to step carefully around her. she has said some horrible stuff about me and reported me for some awful stuff. iv spend days in custody over her false stories.


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    #37
    Richyd
    Registered Users Posts: 18 ✭Richyd


    child 1: girls father living in ireland
    child 2: boy same father as child 1
    child 3: my daughter
    child 4: my daughter
    child 5: 18yo irish guy now living with my ex in the uk.
    He aint 18 anymore, he was when they met 4 years ago approx.


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    #38
    Nevyn
    Closed Accounts Posts: 43,045 ✭✭✭✭Nevyn


    Richyd I think you should try for custody that is if your partner would be open to it.


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    #39
    Richyd
    Registered Users Posts: 18 ✭Richyd


    i would love nothing more than full custody of my girls, but i have to be realistic. Rite now i would give my right arm just to see them. If my ex was more aproachable things would be better but she is just the type that loves messing me about and im not having it anymore.


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    #40
    K-9
    Registered Users Posts: 43,311 ✭✭✭✭K-9


    Fittle wrote: »
    Actually, he hasn't said he wants to raise his kids at all. he's said he'd like to see them on holidays and be a part of their life. That's about it.

    While I'm all for fathers rights, and I agree that the legal system in this country for unmarried fathers is appalling, and I agree that a judge would not give him full custody at this point, it seems he's moved on anyway, and all but given up on seeing his kids again.

    Well it is difficult circumstances. He has a child here, they are in the UK, the new fella has a child there too, court case may have to be in the UK, ex has plainly stated she doesn't want them to see them, ex has just upped and left before and chances are she'll do it again if he makes things awkward, sounds like he is dealing with a narcissistic person etc.

    Mad Men's Don Draper : What you call love was invented by guys like me, to sell nylons.



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    #41
    rolly1
    Registered Users Posts: 204 ✭✭rolly1


    Richyd wrote: »
    child 1: girls father living in ireland
    child 2: boy same father as child 1
    child 3: my daughter
    child 4: my daughter
    child 5: 18yo irish guy now living with my ex in the uk.
    He aint 18 anymore, he was when they met 4 years ago approx.

    Let's maybe exclude child 5 ;-)

    So all citizens involved are irish citizens.
    The two fathers of the 4 children are living in Ireland. Is the Irish father involved with his kids?
    If so, 2 applications under the Hague Convention to get all the kids back to Ireland might be better than one.

    I seriously think you should consider this avenue. However hard it is to maintain access in Ireland, it goes to a whole new level of difficulty doing so from Ireland to England with an implacably hostile parent.


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    #42
    January
    Closed Accounts Posts: 23,862 ✭✭✭✭January


    rolly1 wrote: »
    Let's maybe exclude child 5 ;-)

    So all citizens involved are irish citizens.
    The two fathers of the 4 children are living in Ireland. Is the Irish father involved with his kids?
    If so, 2 applications under the Hague Convention to get all the kids back to Ireland might be better than one.

    I seriously think you should consider this avenue. However hard it is to maintain access in Ireland, it goes to a whole new level of difficulty doing so from Ireland to England with an implacably hostile parent.

    Child five is the child of the 22 (then 18) year old and a UK citizen.


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    #43
    Richyd
    Registered Users Posts: 18 ✭Richyd


    Child 5 was also born in ireland and the childs father is irish but now lives in the uk where he used to live before he met my ex. Im so sorry this is so confusing. All 5 kids are irish citizens and all 5 kids parents are irish citizans. Out of all the kids and all the parent i am the only one that was born in the uk. Wow reading back over all this i can understand how many of you would be totally confused by this. I have never had any contact with the father of child 1 and 2. No idea where he is or who he is.


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    #44
    rolly1
    Registered Users Posts: 204 ✭✭rolly1


    My mistake on child 5, my apologies, I thought you were being humorous in calling the 18 year old boyfriend a child.

    I still think it is worth getting proper legal advice on the prospects of seeking your daughter's return to Ireland, even if it just to rule it out as much as anything else. I know I would work this angle first as there is a time related factor to this. Access can be an ongoing legal issue which you will need to work on failing this, but the time requirements just from a court point of view are not as important for access.

    Again its worth contacting one of the support groups on this as they have had many people down the years who have been in situations something similar to yourself. Even if they can't help from a legal viewpoint they offer good moral support, especially at this time of year.

    Good luck

    http://www.uspi.ie/
    087-9821236

    http://www.fathers.ie/
    lo-call 1890 55 44 33


    [FONT=Arial, sans-serif]USFI
    1a Main Road
    Tallaght
    D24

    01 451 4200/086 887 9444

    [/FONT]


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    #45
    Billiejo
    Closed Accounts Posts: 149 ✭✭Billiejo


    Richyd wrote: »
    I am gettin desperate now. I am a seperated man who has 2 daughters with my ex wife. She has never been happy letting me see my Girls and every time i took her to court for access she keep saying bad stuff about me to the judge, ( things i am doing to the kids). Its all lies and has been proved lies after the judge had me and the girls interviewed. The last time we were there the judge finally ignored her and granted me access and i aggreed with my ex i would see the girls the following day. I waited the next day for her to bring them around and when it got really late i rang her and she told me she had packed up the kids and moved to the uk. I visited them several times but i got made redundant 2 years ago and she wont lets me see them now. i have no contact with them and desperate to see them. I was always very close to my Girls and miss them awful. Have i any law to access them when they live in the uk. Any advice would be great as i cant afford to visit solicitors at the moment.

    From the UK & C Protection field.
    May not work but worth a try.

    Write to Childrens Services Manager @ Social Services Department in town where family live. Once you write (sign on receipt) they will have to investigate. Enclose copy of Judges comments and anything else legal which gives you access.

    If the children are denied access to a loving father whom they are prevented from seeing = Emotional abuse and taken very seriously in the UK.

    In the course of investigating SW's will speak to children's teachers & School nurse, because if what you say is true they may be exhibiting behaviours (loss/rejection) which in turn affects their behaviour at school.


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