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Personal Issues/ Suicide

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    #32
    Nevyn
    Closed Accounts Posts: 43,045 ✭✭✭✭Nevyn


    MUSSOLINI wrote: »
    It's a tough one alright, I dont claim to have all the answers. I hope I have picked this up wrong but you seem to be under the impression that I am out to bash the PI mods, I'm not, I am just trying to help is all.

    I know your not having ago, I think I have enough experience over the years of those who are having ago esp on this topic to tell the difference :)

    MUSSOLINI wrote: »
    There are plenty of good reasons why the threads are locked, maybe if these reasons are laid out when the thread is locked it will help the person in need understand why the thread is closed, and not think the possible scenario I laid out earlier.

    hmm there might be away to do that, I know my stock warning has gotten up people's noses over the years but if a reply to these sort of threads could be trashed out that would be helpful.


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    #33
    DublinWriter
    Registered Users Posts: 9,557 ✭✭✭DublinWriter


    I think Mussolini put his/her/it's finger on the nub of the problem.

    I personally despise the curt and dispassionate way these threads have been closed in P.I.

    On the other hand, I do realise the massive legal exposure boards.ie LTD maybe subject to should things go really badly for the O.P.

    A little humanity wouldn't go amiss here, have a stock reply, agreed by the directors of Boards.ie LTD (not just the PI mods....this is too big an issue) that includes links to professional 'real-time' resources that can help, such as The Samaritans, etc...


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    #34
    Nevyn
    Closed Accounts Posts: 43,045 ✭✭✭✭Nevyn


    Currently what was agreeed by the pi mods and the admins was that such threads get locked and a message is put in them saying it is the forum and site policy to close them and to urge the poster to get professional help and links to enable them to do so are included.

    That is the current policy, in the case cited by the poster to started this thread, not all of this happened, the mod who closed the thread explained and all the PI mods have been reminded of what the policy is and what actions are required. This is what was deiced the last time this topic comes up and it does at least once a year.

    http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055510008


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    #35
    Ickle Magoo
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,485 ✭✭✭✭Ickle Magoo


    DublinWriter wrote: »
    I think Mussolini put his/her/it's finger on the nub of the problem.

    I personally despise the curt and dispassionate way these threads have been closed in P.I.

    On the other hand, I do realise the massive legal exposure boards.ie LTD maybe subject to should things go really badly for the O.P.

    A little humanity wouldn't go amiss here, have a stock reply, agreed by the directors of Boards.ie LTD (not just the PI mods....this is too big an issue) that includes links to professional 'real-time' resources that can help, such as The Samaritans, etc...

    Being really kind and gentle then locking the thread sounds great in theory but in reality it doesn't actually solve the issue - it just moves it from the public forum into moderators private messages. I'm sure most mods past and present from PI could show you the odd PM despite being clinical and detached, I have a few & I'm barely out of mod nappies - can you imagine what it would be like if it was inferred we wanted to help but couldn't do so on the main board?

    What do I say to them when they start pm'ing me? Do I ignore them? Pass them up to an admin? Just have to give the clinical and detached message but personally in their in box? Do you think it sounds so much nicer coming from a PM? Or are you suggesting mods should be really nice and friendly on thread and then have to find ways of extracting themselves from equally awkward and heartfelt plea for help via personal messaging?

    I think by it's very nature threads where posters are threatening suicide are difficult to deal with and it's a fine line between being dispassionate and uncaring but I think there is no harm in being dispassionate.


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    #36
    Darlughda
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,886 ✭✭✭Darlughda


    snyper wrote: »
    I know you dont want to involve other people, nobody does - but there is generally always someone there - be it a sibling or parent,

    Hia Snyper,

    I know you meant well in that post and were being very honest about your situation.

    But, as a trained Samaritans' counsellor (No longer working in that capacity), I have to let you know the above you have stated would send many people over the edge.

    A very common problem with people who are experiencing suicidal idealation is isolation. Because sometimes family members are toxic and dangerous. And sometimes, there really is no one else there.

    This is why the samaritans exist. By the way. The are all volunteers. None of the samaritans are professionals.


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    #37
    Nevyn
    Closed Accounts Posts: 43,045 ✭✭✭✭Nevyn


    True but they have all been screened, trained, have back up and a support structure and can be refered on to professional help for themsleves when needed, the same with those who volunteer for the rape crisses line and for childline.

    None of that applies to PI mods or posters in general who post in PI.


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    #38
    RoundyMooney
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,910 ✭✭✭✭RoundyMooney


    As well as that, the Samaritans volunteer (and thankfully so!) to deal with such matters. I'd imagine it's expected, if not exactly relished.

    An internet moderator, even on PI, where buying in to someone's problem may be part of such a duty, has no such role, nor should it be expected of them.

    Aside from anything else, text based talking down is never going to be particularly effective, even nuances of speech, such as are available to people speaking on the 'phone, are absent.


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    #39
    davebloggs
    Closed Accounts Posts: 50 ✭✭davebloggs


    DublinWriter wrote: »

    On the other hand, I do realise the massive legal exposure boards.ie LTD maybe subject to should things go really badly for the O.P.

    I don't follow this, I've seen this mentioned regarding threads where libel might be an issue.

    If legal concerns are impinging upon what can and can't be said why not just move hosting a couple of thousand miles east, no doubt cheaper as well as not having to worry about big brother nonsense.


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    #40
    Oryx
    Subscribers Posts: 19,425 ✭✭✭✭Oryx


    davebloggs wrote: »
    I don't follow this, I've seen this mentioned regarding threads where libel might be an issue.

    If legal concerns are impinging upon what can and can't be said why not just move hosting a couple of thousand miles east, no doubt cheaper as well as not having to worry about big brother nonsense.
    If thats the kind of site you want, theres always 4chan.


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    #41
    davebloggs
    Closed Accounts Posts: 50 ✭✭davebloggs


    Oryx wrote: »
    If thats the kind of site you want, theres always 4chan.

    Likewise if that's the site you want why not move boards to China


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    #42
    Oryx
    Subscribers Posts: 19,425 ✭✭✭✭Oryx


    davebloggs wrote: »
    Likewise if that's the site you want why not move boards to China
    Personally, its not. But feel free to take the idea up with the admins.


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    #43
    davebloggs
    Closed Accounts Posts: 50 ✭✭davebloggs


    Oryx wrote: »
    Personally, its not. But feel free to take the idea up with the admins.

    I point out how 'legal' concerns could be overcome by moving hosting.

    You imply legal concerns are good and check out 4chan for an alternative, no doubt meant as a derogatory.

    I point out if legal concerns are your thing check out China.

    But thats not your thing either,

    I guess you just don't know what you want, other than a vague need to please your peers here.

    Good for you, keep that up.


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    #44
    RoundyMooney
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,910 ✭✭✭✭RoundyMooney


    Cynic that I am aside, I think it's a safe assumption that this policy has sweet fuck all to do with fear of legal repercussion.

    I'm actually surprised that people think boards.ie has come to that.


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    #45
    Nevyn
    Closed Accounts Posts: 43,045 ✭✭✭✭Nevyn


    davebloggs wrote: »
    I don't follow this, I've seen this mentioned regarding threads where libel might be an issue.

    If legal concerns are impinging upon what can and can't be said why not just move hosting a couple of thousand miles east, no doubt cheaper as well as not having to worry about big brother nonsense.

    It is more the moral and ethical concerns.

    Oh and you need to brush up on your law knowledge re the internet,
    certain countries like this one it doesn't matter where the hosting is once it is viewed via an irish isp to here then it's considered published in this country.
    So you can have your hosting in hong kong and still be sued from here.


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    #46
    davebloggs
    Closed Accounts Posts: 50 ✭✭davebloggs


    Thaedydal wrote: »
    Oh and you need to brush up on your law knowledge re the internet,
    certain countries like this one it doesn't matter where the hosting is once it is viewed via an irish isp to here then it's considered published in this country.
    So you can have your hosting in hong kong and still be sued from here.

    Yea that makes sense, given 99% of the internet is hard core porn and it's illegal here lol

    oh and edit, it's not really a matter of what is considered here, if it's hosted in russia do you think they care about our laws or sensitivities, for a laugh pick a random pornography site and try and implement any Irish legal sanction and watch everybody laugh.


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    #47
    aidan_walsh
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,208 ✭✭✭✭aidan_walsh


    I'm sorry, where did you get your law degree?

    Law, particularly how it applies to the Internet, is one of those things that many have an opinion, belief or reckoning on and very few have any real information about.


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    #48
    AckwelFoley
    Registered Users Posts: 12,556 ✭✭✭✭AckwelFoley


    Darlughda wrote: »

    A very common problem with people who are experiencing suicidal idealation is isolation. Because sometimes family members are toxic and dangerous. And sometimes, there really is no one else there.

    .

    I accept that, and agree, again - im fortunate that i had people to confide in.

    Im not at all saying that the Samartins are not for turning to, its on an individual basis, some people dont have any reasons not to turn to their family other than saving face - then of course in some instances as you say the family are the root of the problem - in these cases there are the smaritins and groups like AWARE


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