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Xmas cracker jokes

  • 24-12-2010 10:44pm
    #1
    ilovesleep
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,619 ✭✭✭


    Whats the difference between Pinnociho and Brian Cowen?











    5 chins


Comments

  • #2
    KeithM89_old
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,806 ✭✭✭✭KeithM89_old


    What do you call a blind dinosaur?
    A 'doyouthinkhesawus'








    ...gets coat


  • #3
    Poor Uncle Tom
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,546 ✭✭✭✭Poor Uncle Tom


    Why does Santa not have any children?
    He only comes once a year and that's down the chimney...:D


  • #4
    IvySlayer
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 17,190 ✭✭✭✭IvySlayer


    What's a specimen?

    An Italian astronaut :pac:


  • #5
    Poor Uncle Tom
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,546 ✭✭✭✭Poor Uncle Tom


    What does a singles game of table tennis sound like?


    Ping!


  • #6
    t0mm13b
    Registered Users Posts: 608 ✭✭✭t0mm13b


    ilovesleep wrote: »
    Whats the difference between Pinnociho and Brian Cowen?
    5 chins
    IvySlayer wrote: »
    What's a specimen?

    An Italian astronaut :pac:

    Just don't get it... care to explain them .... :p


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  • #7
    jesmed
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 76 ✭✭jesmed


    2 elephants jumped off a cliff, boom boom.:eek:


  • #8
    oppenheimer1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,084 ✭✭✭oppenheimer1


    What did the beaver say to the tree?
    Nice gnawing you


  • #9
    IvySlayer
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 17,190 ✭✭✭✭IvySlayer


    t0mm13b wrote: »
    Just don't get it... care to explain them .... :p

    Pronounce speciman in an Italian accent.


  • #10
    Mimikyu
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 18,948 ✭✭✭✭Mimikyu


    This post has been deleted.


  • #11
    oppenheimer1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,084 ✭✭✭oppenheimer1


    why didn't the skeleton go to the dance?


    Because he had no body to go with


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  • #12
    IvySlayer
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 17,190 ✭✭✭✭IvySlayer


    What kind of paper likes music?

    Wrapping paper.


  • #13
    bobblepuzzle
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,256 ✭✭✭bobblepuzzle


    IvySlayer wrote: »
    What kind of paper likes music?

    Rapping paper.

    Eh hem, *Wrapping


  • #14
    StereoLove
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,068 ✭✭✭StereoLove


    What does Father Christmas give his raindeer on cold mornings?

    Santa Freeze


  • #15
    krudler
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 34,788 ✭✭✭✭krudler


    The worst thing that ever happened to me was on Christmas. Oh, God. It was so horrible. It was Christmas Eve. I was 9 years old. Me and Mom were decorating the tree, waiting for Dad to come home from work. A couple hours went by. Dad wasn't home. So Mom called the office. No answer. Christmas Day came and went, and still nothing. So the police began a search. Four or five days went by. Neither one of us could eat or sleep. Everything was falling apart. It was snowing outside. The house was freezing, so I went to try to light up the fire. That's when I noticed the smell. The firemen came and broke through the chimney top. And me and Mom were expecting them to pull out a dead cat or a bird. And instead they pulled out my father. He was dressed in a Santa Claus suit. He'd been climbing down the chimney... his arms loaded with presents. He was gonna surprise us. He slipped and broke his neck. He died instantly. And that's how I found out there was no Santa Claus.



    I dont get it :confused:


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