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Making new friends in your 30s - bloody hard!

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  • 26-12-2010 10:15pm
    #1
    AirHairLair
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20 ✭


    Hi all,

    I am new to Dublin and looking to meet new friends to socialise with...

    Interests include languages, spirituality and self-development (not in a weird way!), the arts, writing, comedy, like dancing the odd time too but stuck for people to go dancing with! I'm not really into sports at all though, so thought I should point that out...

    I am Irish, but lived abroad for a long(ish) time before coming back...think I am a wee bit arty (in the way I think as opposed to the way I earn a living).

    I am a female, in my early thirties by the way (single, no ties)! Have I said enough here?! Happy to exchange a few mails to get to know people...


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    #2
    CelticMama
    Registered Users Posts: 4 ✭CelticMama


    I totally understand. We are new to Ireland, from South Africa, I have been here almost a year and I have not made any friends. It totally sucks! The only adults I have contact with are the people I work with and my husband. I am a very social person, but life has seemed to become an endless cycle of work, home, work, home, with nothing to break the monotony. Its a bit soul destroying, as I had plenty of friends in South Africa, but we chose to move here to give our kids a better and safer life.

    What country were you living in? Did you make new friends there? I think most people find it hard to make new friends in theirs 30's and older, a lot of people have their friends from childhood and college for life.


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    #3
    t0mm13b
    Registered Users Posts: 607 ✭✭✭t0mm13b


    Ahhhh.... the same here... but am from Limerick citaaaaayyyy..... try as I might - tis bluddy fcekin hard .... am past mid-30's .... i.e. approaching 40-something.... might try give okcupid.com a shot..... :)


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    #4
    AirHairLair
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20 ✭AirHairLair


    I was living in the UK...and I have moved around a bit (also as a child), so I don't have those childhood friends like a lot of people would.

    I do know a few people here, but I would like to meet others who are in similar situations...


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    #5
    AirHairLair
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20 ✭AirHairLair


    I often wonder if it's harder to meet proper friends at this age than it is to find love (which I don't have either) - maybe I should put up a separate post about that now that I think about it...!


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    #6
    Degsy
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 16,397 ✭✭✭✭Degsy


    Come to a boards beers!


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    #7
    AirHairLair
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20 ✭AirHairLair


    Where do I find out about that???


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    #8
    t0mm13b
    Registered Users Posts: 607 ✭✭✭t0mm13b


    Degsy wrote: »
    Come to a boards beers!

    Is there one for each region or just for dublin :(:o


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    #9
    Degsy
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 16,397 ✭✭✭✭Degsy


    If somebody wants to organise one right now...its been a while in fairness:)


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    #10
    stovelid
    Closed Accounts Posts: 27,252 ✭✭✭✭stovelid


    AirHairLair wrote: »
    Hi all,

    I am new to Dublin and looking to meet new friends to socialise with...

    Interests include languages, spirituality and self-development (not in a weird way!), the arts, writing, comedy, like dancing the odd time too but stuck for people to go dancing with! I'm not really into sports at all though, so thought I should point that out...

    I am Irish, but lived abroad for a long(ish) time before coming back...think I am a wee bit arty (in the way I think as opposed to the way I earn a living).

    I am a female, in my early thirties by the way (single, no ties)! Have I said enough here?! Happy to exchange a few mails to get to know people...
    CelticMama wrote: »
    I totally understand. We are new to Ireland, from South Africa, I have been here almost a year and I have not made any friends. It totally sucks! The only adults I have contact with are the people I work with and my husband. I am a very social person, but life has seemed to become an endless cycle of work, home, work, home, with nothing to break the monotony. Its a bit soul destroying, as I had plenty of friends in South Africa, but we chose to move here to give our kids a better and safer life.

    What country were you living in? Did you make new friends there? I think most people find it hard to make new friends in theirs 30's and older, a lot of people have their friends from childhood and college for life.
    t0mm13b wrote: »
    Ahhhh.... the same here... but am from Limerick citaaaaayyyy..... try as I might - tis bluddy fcekin hard .... am past mid-30's .... i.e. approaching 40-something.... might try give okcupid.com a shot..... :)

    Makings of a party right here :)


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    #11
    AirHairLair
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20 ✭AirHairLair


    I've just been scolded for posting the same thread to more than one forum by someone called Zaph - I guess this means he is off my friends list?


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    #12
    t0mm13b
    Registered Users Posts: 607 ✭✭✭t0mm13b


    AirHairLair wrote: »
    I've just been scolded for posting the same thread to more than one forum by someone called Zaph - I guess this means he is off my friends list?

    Awww.... there's some moderators of different threads, some are ok, some are not ok :rolleyes:

    Don't worry, just away and upwards my friend.... ;)


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    #13
    Larianne
    Registered Users Posts: 35,954 ✭✭✭✭Larianne


    Check out this post in the Ladies Lounge forum. http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055895535


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    #14
    AirHairLair
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20 ✭AirHairLair


    Thanks for that Larianne


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    #15
    Butch Cassidy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,409 ✭✭✭Butch Cassidy


    Libraries are a good place to meet people.


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    #16
    whiskeyman
    Registered Users Posts: 12,564 ✭✭✭✭whiskeyman


    You play any sports? I know you said you don't play, but it can be worth taking one up, even if you don't think you're good.
    Badminton clubs can be good - good mix of men and women of all ages.
    Tennis too. Depending on club, can be relaxed and social scene and not too competitive.


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    #17
    admiralofthefleet
    Closed Accounts Posts: 15,515 ✭✭✭✭admiralofthefleet


    Degsy wrote: »
    Come to a boards beers!

    ill second that, keep an eye out for the next dublin city one (which hopefully wont be long)


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    #18
    colc1
    Registered Users Posts: 91 ✭✭colc1


    admiralofthefleet wrote: »
    ill second that, keep an eye out for the next dublin city one (which hopefully wont be long)

    Is therea regular pub for them? Could be a good laugh I understand the OP problem hopefully shewont find it too hard....I'd recommend some of the dating websites that have social events bc Dublin/Ireland are very clicky some of my school friends are married others are looking to find a girl...same could be said for me to some extemt haha Good luck to OP anyway there are some good uns around...


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    #19
    AnonoBoy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,559 ✭✭✭✭AnonoBoy


    Butch Cassidy wrote: »
    Libraries are a good place to meet people.

    Sssshhhhhhh!


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    #20
    leeroybrown
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,563 ✭✭✭leeroybrown


    My two suggestions would be to:

    1) Consider sharing a house with other people if you're not. I know it's not to everyone in their 30's taste but if you pick the right housemates it's a great way to meet friends of friends, etc.

    2) Pursue you're interests. Clubs, groups, etc. It does take a bit of effort to get involved but you'll find that you'll meet great friends. Most of my better friends are people I know through shared interests and activities.


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    #21
    t0mm13b
    Registered Users Posts: 607 ✭✭✭t0mm13b


    AnonoBoy wrote: »
    Sssshhhhhhh!

    Reminds me of this expression "Children should not be seen and not heard" :p


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    #22
    Yillan
    Registered Users Posts: 932 ✭✭✭Yillan


    Reminds me of Mitch Hedberg in a newsagents reading a magazine

    "This is not a library"
    "OK I will talk louder then"


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    #23
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    There's always meetup as well.

    http://www.meetup.com/cities/ie/dublin/

    I know a few people that used it and enjoy it


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    #24
    AirHairLair
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20 ✭AirHairLair


    I feel like I should be saying, "reminds me of...insert quote here"....? Should I?


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    #25
    GregLane
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2 ✭GregLane


    try joining the gym and also their classes.


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    #26
    tHE vAGGABOND
    Registered Users Posts: 6,687 ✭✭✭tHE vAGGABOND


    When I was in London on my own I always lived in shared houses, and met some great people I will be mates with forever [and clearly also met some nut cases]. People should seriously think about that.

    Some great people who are not from Ireland and work with me who have had some serious problems meeting people outside of work. You really have to get creative and make an effort.

    Basically have think of where you will meet normal folks, a random evening class is always a popular one.


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    #27
    AirHairLair
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20 ✭AirHairLair


    I think I was getting at the fact that it is hard to meet people you click with as you get older - I do share a flat and am signing up to classes. It's not that I don't know how to meet people - I meant people that you can make lasting friendships with and how that is not particularly easy.


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    #28
    Larianne
    Registered Users Posts: 35,954 ✭✭✭✭Larianne


    Have you checked out the Ladies Lounge meet up forum yet? I know a few of the girls have made friends true that forum. Get in touch with the mods and they'll be able to explain it more to you.


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    #29
    VictoriaD
    Registered Users Posts: 3 ✭VictoriaD


    Hi All,

    Im looking to make new friends too and at 31. Its NOT easy !


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    #30
    sobertales
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10 ✭sobertales


    Same here - I'm turning 30 in a short while and have recently moved back up to Dublin, i've tried living with people, joining classes, internet dating etc and not had too much luck. I've met some nice people but its always just stayed casual as they are very tight with their own set of friends - you are an after thought.

    It is sincerely difficult to meet good friends the older you get. I'm single too and I guess that adds to the situation - if you were with someone you would be exposed to their extended set of friends.

    I'm determined that this is a great city and there are terrific people in it but how do you meet those people you click with. There are so many terrific things to do - gigs, theatre, walks, museums, cinema, nightlife, tourist attractions but in the end it gets you down when you are always doing them alone or just wishing you knew someone to call who would be up for it too... :o


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    #31
    true
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,325 ✭✭✭true


    Join a club. I find surfing is a great way to meet people, you always have something to talk about when you come out of the water. I often share transport with people at weekends going to the west coat ( Sligo / Lahinch etc ). Join whatever club suits your interest.


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