overhearing others having sex

ShadowGal

D wrote: »

Poll lacks a "join in" choice.

you wish heh heh

conorhal

Awwwwwkward...

I did a bizarre bit of accidental eavesdropping a while back that resulted in my learning way more about my neighbors then I anticipated or ever wanted to know.

Now technically I didn't actually hear them having sex, it was a lot more bizarre then that.
It appears that my neighbor and I both own the same brand of wireless headphones, I know this because on the odd occasion, I'll switch off a DVD and my headphones will pick up a signal from next door (usually he's gaming with headphones on), but one night I turned off the telly and my headphones were suddenly filled with a lot of grunting and groaning.

That left me momentarily confused until I realized that him next door must be slapping the salami to some porn with the headphones on so as not to alert the missus. After an initial ewww I was kind of amused by having busted my neighbor having a not so private as he thought shifty.
BUT there was something odd about the porn he was watching and I just couldn't put my finger on what it was that was odd about it, I just had a vague feeling that something wasn't quite right. Then it dawned on me.
None of the voices, groans or grunts were female. There was no falsetto moaning, just a bunch of male voices shouting "give it to me! YEAH!".

I tell you, I could never quite look his wife in the eyes again when we'd meet on the stairs.....

ottostreet

conorhal wrote: »

Awwwwwkward...

I did a bizarre bit of accidental eavesdropping a while back that resulted in my learning way more about my neighbors then I anticipated or ever wanted to know.

Now technically I didn't actually hear them having sex, it was a lot more bizarre then that.
It appears that my neighbor and I both own the same brand of wireless headphones, I know this because on the odd occasion, I'll switch off a DVD and my headphones will pick up a signal from next door (usually he's gaming with headphones on), but one night I turned off the telly and my headphones were suddenly filled with a lot of grunting and groaning.

That left me momentarily confused until I realized that him next door must be slapping the salami to some porn with the headphones on so as not to alert the missus. After an initial ewww I was kind of amused by having busted my neighbor having a not so private as he thought shifty.
BUT there was something odd about the porn he was watching and I just couldn't put my finger on what it was that was odd about it, I just had a vague feeling that something wasn't quite right. Then it dawned on me.
None of the voices, groans or grunts were female. There was no falsetto moaning, just a bunch of male voices shouting "give it to me! YEAH!".

I tell you, I could never quite look his wife in the eyes again when we'd meet on the stairs.....

Why? Because you didn't stop listening to your male neighbour choking the chicken to gay sex, despite not having to in any shape or form?

parker kent

I grab my girlfriend and try to outmoan them

conorhal wrote: »

That left me momentarily confused until I realized that him next door must be slapping the salami to some porn with the headphones on so as not to alert the missus. After an initial ewww I was kind of amused by having busted my neighbor having a not so private as he thought shifty.
BUT there was something odd about the porn he was watching and I just couldn't put my finger on what it was that was odd about it, I just had a vague feeling that something wasn't quite right. Then it dawned on me.
None of the voices, groans or grunts were female. There was no falsetto moaning, just a bunch of male voices shouting "give it to me! YEAH!".

I tell you, I could never quite look his wife in the eyes again when we'd meet on the stairs.....

Maybe it was the wife watching it, not the husband?

Conor Bourke

Oh, the joys of shared accomodation!

If you know the walls are thin/bed is noisy/people will just hear, would it stop any of you going for it? I'm not on about showboating, I'm just talking about the time when you reeeeeeally want a ride but you know the whole house will hear it. Would it put you off your stride?

tallaghtmick

valentines day of this year me and the ex where staying in a hotel and the very young couple next door (they where around 18/19) started to give it a go after about 3 mins and some fake screams later it was over......cue loud laughter from ourselves

BigDuffman

I grab my girlfriend and try to outmoan them

Staying over in a friends house at 13 heard the parents going at it like the clappers. He was mortified, I couldn't help but snigger away.

Staying in a hotel for a few weeks in England, there was a a girl next door for a few days, she was quite vocal when she was "amusing herself". Saw her on the way down to breakfast one of the mornings and she was hot!

Cue fantasies of cheezey porn like knocks on the door in the middle of the night!

whatsamsn

I grab my girlfriend and try to outmoan them

How could I not vote for:
"I immediately begin to ****" lol

while of course shouting "go man, go"

SarahMs

My boyfriends brother and his girlfriend were staying with us for a few nights,one night after a few drinks they go at it, we just turned the TV up,when it all went quiet we turned the TV off and settled down only to hear his brother saying 'Jesus Rachel, that was the best sex we ever had'

*Rachel is his ex. Needless to say the current gf was not impressed. we had to listen to him begging for forgiveness the whole night. DOPE.

Agent Smith

I usually play S-Club 7 really really loudly

Professey Chin

Agent Smith wrote: »

I usually play S-Club 7 really really loudly

Dont stop, never give up, hold your head high and reach the top :pac:

*wanders off to be cast into Hades for knowing the words*

Seloth

Myself and most of my house mates all couldn't get too sleep one night and we were sitting around in the living room.Two of the girls started skitting as they said 5 mins before hand they could hear one of the fellas moaning with his Girlfriend hah

Mr.Crinklewood

Record them and play it back ...or maybe mix it with Depeche Mide.

massdebater

Ex girlfriend used to have the squeekiest bed ever. Nothing worse than knowing her parents could hear me poleaxing their daughter every night I stayed over

AckwelFoley

Heard my father pounding my mother out of it a few years ago. I came home late and didnt make enough of a racket entering the house,i thought she was being killed - the words that came out of the womans mouth will haunt me forever.

Was on holidays with my fiance and with my sis and her fiance - i heard them cranking it out in the other room - tbh i loled - 5 mins wasnt long to have to suffer.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

snyper wrote: »

Heard my father pounding my mother out of it a few years ago. I came home late and didnt make enough of a racket entering the house,i thought she was being killed - the words that came out of the womans mouth will haunt me forever.

Was on holidays with my fiance and with my sis and her fiance - i heard them cranking it out in the other room - tbh i loled - 5 mins wasnt long to have to suffer.

ah, so the man has limits...

Cuddlesworth

If your going to be vocal you might want to last more then a couple of minutes.

fontanalis

I remember staying in a Hostel type place in Sydney and a girl brought a fella back. She woke us with her moaning, it sounded like he was trying to run a marathon in a pair of wellies that were five sizes too big for him.

patwicklow

years ago when i was in london my flat mate pulled this lady she was a bit on the large side, any way they were going at it was like the noise of alley cat and the next thing there was a massive big bang on the wooden floor i said what the feck going on any way found out the next day that it was a pine single bed they were shagging on and it snapped in two, but the best of it is they carried on with the bed broke in two well thats love for ye

parker kent

I grab my girlfriend and try to outmoan them

In college I lived on campus with 2 guys that did Ag Science. They were always pretty pally and became known as the twins, as where one was found, the other was normally not too far behind.

So with that in mind, the Saw Doctors played on campus and it seemingly was like Christmas for the Ag Science gang. They went on a massive bender which ended up back at our apartment. After being woken up by the rowdy drinking, I was beginning to drift off when I heard some drunken sex. Nothing too unusual there for a student apartment and it was just the usual mix of grunts and groans from male and female voices. It was over nearly as quickly as it started and I thought I could get some peace and get asleep. But it started up again and carried on stopping and starting like that for some time.

The next morning I was on my way to class when one of the boys poked his head out of his room looking a bit sheepish and asked if I'd been woke up by any noise. I laughed it off and said don't worry but in the background I could hear my other housemate in the room too. Then it dawned on me, there had been a MMF Ag Science threesome and it really was true, the boys really did do everything together!

PK2008

This thread is giving me a boner

Tar.Aldarion

I grab my girlfriend and try to outmoan them

PK2008 wrote: »

This thread is giving me a boner

this boner is giving me a boner

parker kent

I grab my girlfriend and try to outmoan them

Overhearing all this boner talk is giving me one. If there are any wetties mentioned, I'll lose the run of myself....

Blazer

fonecrusher1 wrote: »

I immediately mount my pillow & make love in time with the courting couple's unearthly hump-groaning. Its like im involved that way.

probably the closest to a 3some you'll ever get

Mr Benevolent

It only lasts three minutes OP, what are you whining about?

cassid

I go around to complain about the noise

I remember myself and hubby were away in a hotel in Kerry and we had to listen to next door shouting more more and oh baby to each other for hours, it was funny for the first few minutes then it got feckin annoying. The lecky had gone in the hotel so no tv to hire up, thank God it starting thunder and lighting outside:D

kowloon

I remember a mate of mine getting his birthday surprise from his girlfriend a few years back. Myself and another friend were staying over after a night on the town. We got a bit of a giggle out of it but then felt embarrassed for him, he didn't go at it for very long.

shrewdness

I grab my girlfriend and try to outmoan them

cassid wrote: »

I remember myself and hubby were away in a hotel in Kerry and we had to listen to next door shouting more more and oh baby to each other for hours, it was funny for the first few minutes then it got feckin annoying. The lecky had gone in the hotel so no tv to hire up, thank God it starting thunder and lighting outside:D

Did you not try to outdo them?

GrumPy

I go around to complain about the noise

Only ever been in this situation a couple of times. Felt pretty awkward alright!

Mr.Crinklewood

Seloth wrote: »

Myself and most of my house mates all couldn't get too sleep one night and we were sitting around in the living room.Two of the girls started skitting as they said 5 mins before hand they could hear one of the fellas moaning with his Girlfriend hah

So they were having a **** as well....

curlzy

I go around to complain about the noise

plein de force wrote: »

i didn't think people said it in real life either until i was staying in my mate's house after a night out before. i could hear the couple next door through the paper thin walls going at it. she sounded like she was being bludgeoned to death for 10 minutes then roaring "harder daddy i've been a very naughty girl"

:eek::eek: BLURGH. Like seriously if the word Daddy was mentioned during sex I'd vomit everywhere, who wants to be reminded of their da when they're getting it on??? Always makes me think the girl must have daddy issues.

4zn76tysfajdxp

curlzy wrote: »

Always makes me think the girl must have daddy issues.

You think?

curlzy

I go around to complain about the noise

Dean Substantial Rocket wrote: »

You think?

Yeah, I know a girl who calls her fella daddy during sex but SWEARS she doesn't have daddy issues. It was funny when it came out that her Dad doesn't like her and she knows it. She swears it's because it has power conotations and isn't about having daddy issues. I don't know other people's heads so I like to give people the benefit of the doubt but with this issue I really can't see it being anything other than daddy issues.

fakearms123

On the night of our wedding, we had group sex. I wasn't in it, though. But i could hear it, through the wall.

senordingdong

I grab my girlfriend and try to outmoan them

curlzy wrote: »

Yeah, I know a girl who calls her fella daddy during sex but SWEARS she doesn't have daddy issues. It was funny when it came out that her Dad doesn't like her and she knows it. She swears it's because it has power conotations and isn't about having daddy issues. I don't know other people's heads so I like to give people the benefit of the doubt but with this issue I really can't see it being anything other than daddy issues.

Sure that's nothing.

I once nailed a bird who called me 'mammy'.

WindSock

senordingdong wrote: »

Sure that's nothing.

I once nailed a bird who called me 'mammy'.

why did she call your mammy? To ask her to join in?

senordingdong

I grab my girlfriend and try to outmoan them

WindSock wrote: »

why did she call your mammy? To ask her to join in?

No, so that they could both whinge about how dis-appointing I am.

Seth Brundle

snyper wrote: »

Was on holidays with my fiance and with my sis and her fiance - i heard them cranking it out in the other room - tbh i loled - 5 mins wasnt long to have to suffer.

You heard your fiance, sis and sis's fiance going at it? :eek:
Were you not sad to have been left out?

youcancallmeal

Can't believe this wasn't mentioned....

/Thread

Frisbee

massdebater wrote: »

Ex girlfriend used to have the squeekiest bed ever. Nothing worse than knowing her parents could hear me poleaxing their daughter every night I stayed over

Current girlfriend has a ridiculously noisy bed. And her room is right next to her parents. Usually try and not make too much noise but when we come home locked they definitely hear.

Blobby George

Frisbee wrote: »

Current girlfriend has a ridiculously noisy bed. And her room is right next to her parents. Usually try and not make too much noise but when we come home locked they definitely hear.

Fúck her on the floor. Problem solved.

Iwannahurl

Makes me muse over those halcyon days of my youth, and a bright future with better building regulations.

Charlie.

Blobby George wrote: »

Fúck her on the floor. Problem solved.

Carpet burn -v- Mammy & Daddy hearing...toughie

Plumpynutt

i once had to listen to a couple riding in the next room, whilst on a comedown. didnt help the head i can assure you.

got all paranoid about walkin by their room, thought they'd hear me and think i was listening in or something, so i ended up lying there in the dark listening to them but trying to block it out. she was a screamer too:(

--LOS--

they hear me, I hear them w/e, can't be sacrificing all the fun

however there is less probability of them calling the authorities if they are not in the house at the time :O

TeddyTedson

KeithM89 wrote: »

Ah feck - public poll

I never knew they were public!

I was on holiday and we heard the couple next door riding every morning, well the head board hitting the wall ect.
Then we saw them one day and it was a room with three guys in it.

Snowie

Biggins wrote: »

Option 5: Stick headphones on and continue to watch tv or pc film/music.

not an option in this kinda situation theres one thing you can really do look through the key hole as you tug one of or just tug one of listening to the lady moaning :cool:


allllright

Conor Bourke

Charlie. wrote: »

Carpet burn -v- Mammy & Daddy hearing...toughie

Throw the duvet down on the floor to cover the carpet- problem solved!

chughes

Alaskimo-cake wrote: »

Throw the duvet down on the floor to cover the carpet- problem solved!

Out of the bed and onto the carpet for a nice mat(t) finish !!!

pajunior

In College I once ended up in a house with a Romanian and an Italian. Both very religious.

The gf was down for the weekend and of course there was noise. But one night we/she went a bit overboard and started screaming and banging the walls. One of girls upstairs even shouted 'please' during a pause. I wasn't finished and when the gf asked if she was shouting at us I lied and got on with it.

One of the more embarrasing breakfast's I've had. Still I've had worse myself in hostels and not thought much of it.