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any advice

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  • 28-12-2010 12:22pm
    #1
    antocolbert
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1 ✭


    i have recently broken up with my partner but i have been very foolish for the last year and a half while we were together i was living and working in the uk and
    giving her cash when we were visiting while she has been claiming single mothers. since we broke up i agreed to give her 200 euro per month but i have been paying into her fathers account so it doesnt affect her benefits (because i thought we may get back together) but i found out she now has a boyfriend so there will be no reconciliation im also flying over twice a month and paying for a hotel im self employed in the uk but have been in and of work all year ive had to move into my parents because i cant afford to support myself let alone pay for flights etc but i dont want to lose any more time with my daughter 1 day twice a month isnt enough as it is


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    #2
    Fittle
    Registered Users Posts: 2,775 ✭✭✭Fittle


    My first reaction is that you haven't been paying her 200euro per month, you have been contributing 50euro per week towards the cost of the upkeep of your child. There is a difference...

    There are many cuts that can be made to lone parents allowance and rent allowance, if she is in receipt of maintenance - so while what you are doing is enabling her in not declaring her maintenance, the bigger picture here is that she will have more cashflow, and will thereby be able to spend more money on your child.

    Is there any chance you could move to her country of residence? If things aren't great where you are already, surely they can't be much worse where she lives? If you were closer to your daughter, perhaps you could see more of her?

    Your first mistake was paying her maintenance in the hope the relationship would get back together. That's not what maintenance is about. It's about contributing towards the cost of your child's life. You need to think of a plan about how you can spend more time with your child - from what you've said here, my initial reaction would be that you move closer to her, as things aren;t going well where you are anyhow. Best of luck OP.


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    #3
    whatdoicare
    Registered Users Posts: 2,398 ✭✭✭whatdoicare


    + one here, you should do your best to get closer to yr child and sort out visitation rights etc.
    I know it's hard with this ****e recession making jobs hard to find but keep looking and make it a mission to get closer is all you can do really.
    Fair play to you for trying to support yr child, not easy when yr trying to pay for flights etc. just to see him/her.
    I have a friend in yr situation, he managed to get a flat near his son and although his now job is paying much less than his previous job, he and his son are much happier now that they see each other more regular.
    Chin up and do your best. Best of luck for the future.


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