Depression

@Wibbs

@Wibbs, so you're basically saying that if you're not clinically depressed, or anything along those lines, you just cannot claim to be depressed? Like for instance, if you're in a really bad job, you're living with really bad housemates.

WesternNight

Deleted User wrote: »

@Wibbs, so you're basically saying that if you're not clinically depressed, or anything along those lines, you just cannot claim to be depressed? Like for instance, if you're in a really bad job, you're living with really bad housemates.

I'd be more likely to use words like sad or frustrated or fed-up or unhappy etc rather than depressed.

Wibbs

Yep pretty much. Now a bad situation could in time depending on the mental strength and other individual factors turn into something more clinical, but IMHO comparing one to the other is like comparing a tension headache to a brain tumour. Worse, being medicated for something like that is beyond daft. And worst of all comparing and equating such things as depression makes out those with real problems as being frivolous.

mikom

Deleted User wrote: »

Like for instance, if you're in a really bad job, you're living with really bad housemates.

These are things that winning 100 euro on a scratch card or having a quick roll in the hay would give you a lift out of for a day or so.
With real depression you would not be even bothered to pick up the coin or drop your trousers.

t0mm13b

@Wibbs:

Well, judging by your postings, it seems as if you want to kill this thread by arguing about what "you think" - wanting facts or proof in your hands....

I can say something to you - Consider yourself very lucky not to experience the blackness hovering over your life with no joy, not able to laugh, isolated, not able to get out of bed, four walls closing in on you, suffocating every move you make...and just drifting in water with no direction, and feeling hollow....

Lucky you are... but don't try knock others...

WesternNight

t0mm13b wrote: »

@Wibbs:

Well, judging by your postings, it seems as if you want to kill this thread by arguing about what "you think" - wanting facts or proof in your hands....

I can say something to you - Consider yourself very lucky not to experience the blackness hovering over your life with no joy, not able to laugh, isolated, not able to get out of bed, four walls closing in on you, suffocating every move you make...and just drifting in water with no direction, and feeling hollow....

Lucky you are... but don't try knock others...

Oh come on.

There is a big difference between clinically depressed and, say, "a bit fed up". I don't see anything wrong with saying that not everyone who *thinks* they're depressed or claims to be, is actually depressed in the real sense. If anything, it's important to make that distinction so that real, honest-to-god depression is treated appropriately and not confused with (either by medical professionals or by the public in general) a self-indulgent sulking phase that can be mistaken for depression these days.

That's not belittling depression. Quite the opposite.

cleremy jarkson

t0mm13b wrote: »

@Wibbs:

Well, judging by your postings, it seems as if you want to kill this thread by arguing about what "you think" - wanting facts or proof in your hands....

I can say something to you - Consider yourself very lucky not to experience the blackness hovering over your life with no joy, not able to laugh, isolated, not able to get out of bed, four walls closing in on you, suffocating every move you make...and just drifting in water with no direction, and feeling hollow....

Lucky you are... but don't try knock others...

You know, it is possible to have suffered/ suffer from clinical depression but to also hold objective rational opinions on the matter.

Wibbs

t0mm13b wrote: »

@Wibbs:

Well, judging by your postings, it seems as if you want to kill this thread by arguing about what "you think" - wanting facts or proof in your hands....

Facts and proof would be nice alright. As opposed to what? Emo ramblings around what is a very serious illness and danger to the individual and society? Yea I'll take facts and proof ta very much.

I can say something to you - Consider yourself very lucky not to experience the blackness hovering over your life with no joy, not able to laugh, isolated, not able to get out of bed, four walls closing in on you, suffocating every move you make...and just drifting in water with no direction, and feeling hollow....

Lucky you are... but don't try knock others...

Oh with respect what self indulgent twaddle. You want a misery loves e-company circle jerk, egging each other on to how down ye can be, or an actual discussion? Contrary to some views on this thread the former is bloody well everywhere online. On this site alone off the top of my head, I can think of at least four forum/tread outlets for this kinda "there there you'll be grand/I'm so down too" stuff. Nothing wrong with that at all, but c'mon when you've got a poll like this where the majority claim to be or have been clinically depressed, either the majority of online users are mentalists or the ones claiming depression(esp the self diagnosed ones) are simply wrong/self indulgent superannuated adolescents/convinced by society that there's a name for every ill in your life. I strongly suspect the latter.

mikom wrote:

These are things that winning 100 euro on a scratch card or having a quick roll in the hay would give you a lift out of for a day or so.
With real depression you would not be even bothered to pick up the coin or drop your trousers.

Precisely. The latter individual needs all the help, medical and social that we can give as a society, the former needs to cop on, grow up and change what needs to be changed in their lives. If you're in a bad job? The obvious answer is change jobs but that's not that easy. Though even there you wont starve in this society if you do. In any case your job is or should be just one facet of your life. The rest should compensate. I mean few enough get a hard on for their jobs. Bad flatmates? Much easier. It's largely a renters market, so move.

t0mm13b

WesternNight wrote: »

Oh come on.

There is a big difference between clinically depressed and, say, "a bit fed up". I don't see anything wrong with saying that not everyone who *thinks* they're depressed or claims to be, is actually depressed in the real sense. If anything, it's important to make that distinction so that real, honest-to-god depression is treated appropriately and not confused with (either by medical professionals or by the public in general) a self-indulgent sulking phase that can be mistaken for depression these days.

That's not belittling depression. Quite the opposite.

That's the problem, the word used in itself is conveyed in a different way and that was discussed on previous pages, nowadays people are using the term "Oh my life sucks, I'm depressed", its being bandied about too much and open to misinterpretation, or out-of-context.... and that in itself is the problem, separating out the grain from the chaff.... those who are genuinely depressed, and others saying it for out of their "want".....

It needs to be said.... be careful....check with yourself emotionally and be aware of yourself....

The other significant part of the problem is if you do not have supportive friends or have family issues can exacerbate the problem even more...

If you have a close family and are supportive of each other with their siblings - well and good... but how many families are "that close", or "friends" who are not exactly close.... those that have genuine depression will find that their circle of support shrinks to a dot, thus making it harder to get the help they need....

t0mm13b

Wibbs wrote: »

Facts and proof would be nice alright. As opposed to what? Emo ramblings around what is a very serious illness and danger to the individual and society? Yea I'll take facts and proof ta very much.

Sure.... but they may not have the courage to be quite as open and honest thus hiding the true statistics perhaps?

Wibbs wrote: »

Oh with respect what self indulgent twaddle. You want a misery loves e-company circle jerk, egging each other on to how down ye can be, or an actual discussion? Contrary to some views on this thread the former is bloody well everywhere online. On this site alone off the top of my head, I can think of at least four forum/tread outlets for this kinda "there there you'll be grand/I'm so down too" stuff. Nothing wrong with that at all, but c'mon when you've got a poll like this where the majority claim to be or have been clinically depressed, either the majority of online users are mentalists or the ones claiming depression(esp the self diagnosed ones) are simply wrong/self indulgent superannuated adolescents/convinced by society that there's a name for every ill in your life. I strongly suspect the latter.

I am inclined to agree there yes... it does seem to make sense as see in my previous posting how the word gets bandied about....but surely the real sufferers perhaps are suffering in silence....

Wibbs wrote: »

Precisely. The latter individual needs all the help, medical and social that we can give as a society, the former needs to cop on, grow up and change what needs to be changed in their lives. If you're in a bad job? The obvious answer is change jobs but that's not that easy. Though even there you wont starve in this society if you do. In any case your job is or should be just one facet of your life. The rest should compensate. I mean few enough get a hard on for their jobs. Bad flatmates? Much easier. It's largely a renters market, so move.

The silent ones that are hiding in suffering, would not be able to take on the change... the ones that love themselves and bandying the term "depression" are the ones that are obscuring the real underlying section of population where the real sufferers are hiding.... and those (who are bandying the label "depressed" and self-indulgent) are the ones that need to make the changes themselves so yes...

pheasant tail

Well all,i havent really been following all of this but wibbs,,i see where your coming from,,but i think that as tom said,basically summed it up,,if you havent experienced depression then you dont know how it feels and its hard to judge or comment on people or things relating to depression!!

Sorry to change the subject people,,but i seen a few people last night saying that religion and spiritually really helped,,can i ask why or how yous went about it??

AntiMatter

pheasant tail wrote: »

Sorry to change the subject people,,but i seen a few people last night saying that religion and spiritually really helped,,can i ask why or how yous went about it??

Meditation, which I mentioned previously, is what I would have to say cured my depression.

pheasant tail

AntiMatter wrote: »

Meditation, which I mentioned previously, is what I would have to say cured my depression.

Im currently down that road for a long while,take ya long ta come round? Im on currently 5 differnt tablets and i think its far too much!

Wibbs

pheasant tail wrote: »

Well all,i havent really been following all of this but wibbs,,i see where your coming from,,but i think that as tom said,basically summed it up,,if you havent experienced depression then you dont know how it feels and its hard to judge or comment on people or things relating to depression!!

No, but that IMHO is yet another excuse for the self indulgent types, which IMHO make up the majority of the newer cases of so called depression. TBH it galls me when these types are lumped in with the true manic depressives and clinically depressed types who are actually struggling on a daily basis, not some superannuated emo kid looking for even more attention, because they're precious little snowflakes you know. It can also become a bloody competition with some of them. I'm more down than you kinda guff, especially online. Misery loves company and competition. Almost like these pro ana sites, egging vulnerable people into an even more self obsessed and self destructive downward cycle.

Sorry to change the subject people,,but i seen a few people last night saying that religion and spiritually really helped,,can i ask why or how yous went about it??

I'd reckon it would for a few reasons. 1) it has a social aspect 2) it makes the individual part of something bigger than themselves 3) It gives them the idea that there is an external plan and someone is looking after it. Probably why religious people live longer.

t0mm13b

Wibbs wrote: »

No, but that IMHO is yet another excuse for the self indulgent types, which IMHO make up the majority of the newer cases of so called depression. TBH it galls me when these types are lumped in with the true manic depressives and clinically depressed types who are actually struggling on a daily basis, not some superannuated emo kid looking for even more attention, because they're precious little snowflakes you know. It can also become a bloody competition with some of them. I'm more down than you kinda guff, especially online. Misery loves company and competition. Almost like these pro ana sites, egging vulnerable people into an even more self obsessed and self destructive downward cycle.

I can see where you're coming from.... but the question remains - how do you separate them out????

There's a difference between those who love misery and try out-do each other for competition and those genuinely not able to help themselves.... but yeah there's an element of truth in what you're saying alright...

separate out the "grain" from the chaff...

some would definitely use it to "act as abuser masquerading as a victim" and others would "act as a victim masquerading as an abuser"... that's a very difficult thing to pinpoint...

so what do you suggest to separate the true sufferers from the the fake sufferers?

Alice1

I haven't seen any mention of Post Natal Depression so far. I had it after my first baby was born. I didn't know quite what was wrong with me - I just didn't feel happy. However, I went rapidly downhill. Following treatment I got better. Medication does have a part to play in the treatment of depression (in my opinion) however, I accept that not everybody shares my opinion.

Thanks for starting this thread Boney.

t0mm13b

Alice1 wrote: »

I haven't seen any mention of Post Natal Depression so far. I had it after my first baby was born. I didn't know quite what was wrong with me - I just didn't feel happy. However, I went rapidly downhill. Following treatment I got better. Medication does have a part to play in the treatment of depression (in my opinion) however, I accept that not everybody shares my opinion.

Thanks for starting this thread Boney.

That's being on my mind a lot since the thread is started.... so well done to you for posting.... Hope you get better....

cleremy jarkson

Now I'm not a religious person myself, but I think that in the past religion did(and still does) help prevent people from developing the sort of bleak, hopeless, dark depression that many people seem to experience nowadays. The science/ philosophy which has become known in the last century or so is completely at odds with the natural human desire to see our lives as meaningful. In a sense it is unnatural for us to know some of the stuff that we do eg. evolutionary explanations for why we think/ behave the way we do, reason for being very sure there's no afterlife or god...

I believe that's why religious beliefs have been found to have developed in basically every region on earth and at all times throughout human history.

AntiMatter

pheasant tail wrote: »

Im currently down that road for a long while,take ya long ta come round? Im on currently 5 differnt tablets and i think its far too much!

It took about a couple of years for me to notice any discernible effect, and it is hard work. (harder than cognitive therapy, for example)

citizen_p

the easiest way to get rid of depression imo is social interaction...

AntiMatter

Mousey- wrote: »

the easiest way to get rid of depression imo is social interaction...

I wonder if, with those inflicted with the disease lacking social interaction, and so being drawn to high internet usage, this accounts for the high percentage of depression sufferers in the poll.

Sardonicat

Mousey- wrote: »

the easiest way to get rid of depression imo is social interaction...

Whilst some social interaction is helpful, it won't cure you. Seriously depressed people aren't really capable og meaningful interaction anyway and the least helpful thing in the world is some well meaning but ignorant person urging you to "come out of yourself more". Seriously depressed people cannot do that.

If social interaction "cures" anything, it's loneliness. i'm not saying that isn't a terrible thing in itself, but it's not depression.

t0mm13b

Happy New year to all of you on this thread and sincerely wish you a healthy road to recovery in 2011... \o/

And thanks to boneyarseman for raising this thread

Mountainsandh

Happy New Year, wishing all sorts of positives for the people posting on here, pick the one you like best

klose

This thread had helped. Gonna come clean to the parents and tell em in very depressed. Haven't been happy in 4 months instead I've been nothing short of miserable. Very dark place I'm in at the moment and can't find a way out on my own so I need help. Have wanted/thought of killing myself for a while now but don't want to put my family thru that.

All I wanted was that one girl who I had and made me the happiest but no, college life (not the work btw) got preference and you crushed me knowing full well the results, you've gotten off with friends in front of my face, you've ruined me. You knew what would happen yet you 'tripped lightly' upon my soul.

It's time to rid my loneliness and darkness, it's time to realise you're nothing but a selfless whore and that ik better off without you. It's time to get better

t0mm13b

whippedcream wrote: »

This thread had helped. Gonna come clean to the parents and tell em in very depressed. Haven't been happy in 4 months instead I've been nothing short of miserable. Very dark place I'm in at the moment and can't find a way out on my own so I need help. Have wanted/thought of killing myself for a while now but don't want to put my family thru that.

All I wanted was that one girl who I had and made me the happiest but no, college life (not the work btw) got preference and you crushed me knowing full well the results, you've gotten off with friends in front of my face, you've ruined me. You knew what would happen yet you 'tripped lightly' upon my soul.

It's time to rid my loneliness and darkness, it's time to realise you're nothing but a selfless whore and that ik better off without you. It's time to get better

@WhippedCream: WELL DONE!!!! Did that make you feel any better in what you wanted to say?

Feel free to post back here... you're on the road to recovery....

I will try my best... have you discussed it with your GP? What are/were your thoughts in wanting to kill yourself...? Please do share....

gsxr1

Mountainsandh wrote: »

Happy New Year, wishing all sorts of positives for the people posting on here, pick the one you like best

you also.

I hope to god things improve for everyone . even a small bit.

That was the saddest year of my life. I have never had to relay on my wifes wages before till now.
out of work boredom and worry has nearly got the better of me

klose

t0mm13b wrote: »

@WhippedCream: WELL DONE!!!! Did that make you feel any better in what you wanted to say?

Feel free to post back here... you're on the road to recovery....

I will try my best... have you discussed it with your GP? What are/were your thoughts in wanting to kill yourself...? Please do share....

Thank you. That was my first true outburst, it gave me a sense of satisfaction in posting it as if I was getting it off my chest. I came hone early after she ruined yet another night out and tbh I'm sick of it. I've never yet spoken anybody about it yet, a sort of embaresment has covered me seeing as I'm only an 18 y/o male.

But no more, I'm young and have still life ahead. I love this girl so much yet all she's done has hurt me. I know I deserve better but I simply can't get over her. I saved my virginity till I met the right person and she was certainly it and I gave my virginity to her. I've never been so connected to a person as such.

Heck, I don't rate myself highly atall on looks or on skills with women, I gotta do something right?

How is everyone feeling since we have entered a New Year?

a-k-47

those figures are scary!..

WesternNight

a-k-47 wrote: »

those figures are scary!..

They would be even more so if they were representative of the population as a whole. But you have to take into account the title of the thread, which may draw people with depression or people who have previously suffered with it into the thread. You also have to take into account the fact that people can sometimes mistakenly label themselves as being depressed when they're not actually clinically depressed.

But it is still a substantial number all the same.

FoxT

BoneyarseBogeyman, thanks for starting this thread.
Christmas & New Year is not a Great Happy Time for many people - in fact it can be quite the opposite - very sensitive & savvy of you to kick this off.

I think that everybody's experience with the Black Dog is unique, so I offer the following in the hope that it may help others. I had a tough time myself a few years back ( going back a few years, when my son died suddenly) , and I found that...

- GP not very helpful. Prescribed meds which I tried for a while & found the 'cure' was far worse than the 'disease'.

- I changed jobs around the same time & my new employer sought a report from my GP. Her report included mention of a 'depressive episode' . This had an impact on my life insurance (job perk) , which could have impacted on my family if I was run over by a bus or whatever - I am married w children & was never suicidal - I felt betrayed by my GP on this and would never consider going to my regular GP in the event of another 'episode' occurring.

- drink is absolutely deadly. I love my couple of drinks but will avoid or abstain if I am feeling low, it just isnt worth it.

- fresh air helps enormously... I got involved in a sport about 10 years ago ( am 46 now) and getting out & about, being active ( was never sporty) , and also the social life , is a great help.

Finally, just want to say, if you are depresed right now... hang in there. Don't hurt yourself. There is a route out, you just need to find the right route for you.

andrew cross

Whispered wrote: »

He did unfortunately, it wasn't over me though, I've come to the conclusion that he could feel himself dropping back to how he was and decided he needed me to get him through it again. It wasn't anything to do with him loving me or anything like it, I was just an old faithful that helped him before through the same thing. But for a long time I told myself I should have told someone, I shouldn't have left him, I should have gotten back with him. As far as I was concerned he was dead due to me. So I would always always recommend seeking help from somone who can give it. I regret every single day not speaking to his family, even at the risk of loosing our friendship. But at the time, when someone makes you feel responsible for their life you do what you think is right.

Every milestone in my life I feel like he should be experiencing similar.

no it was not your fault, he was not in a good place, he had a illness, 15to18 per cent of people with depression or bipolar kill themselves, it was not your fault, one guy i knew put a dent in his dads car killed himself, one man i knew hanged himself after his girl left him, he drank could not deal with it, both were dealing with depression untreated, it can kill you by your own hand, if anyone feels like this please get help, at gp, a&e family or friend, helpline, dont wait letting it get worse get help now

t0mm13b

FoxT wrote: »

BoneyarseBogeyman, thanks for starting this thread.
Christmas & New Year is not a Great Happy Time for many people - in fact it can be quite the opposite - very sensitive & savvy of you to kick this off.

I think that everybody's experience with the Black Dog is unique, so I offer the following in the hope that it may help others. I had a tough time myself a few years back ( going back a few years, when my son died suddenly) , and I found that...

- GP not very helpful. Prescribed meds which I tried for a while & found the 'cure' was far worse than the 'disease'.

- I changed jobs around the same time & my new employer sought a report from my GP. Her report included mention of a 'depressive episode' . This had an impact on my life insurance (job perk) , which could have impacted on my family if I was run over by a bus or whatever - I am married w children & was never suicidal - I felt betrayed by my GP on this and would never consider going to my regular GP in the event of another 'episode' occurring.

- drink is absolutely deadly. I love my couple of drinks but will avoid or abstain if I am feeling low, it just isnt worth it.

- fresh air helps enormously... I got involved in a sport about 10 years ago ( am 46 now) and getting out & about, being active ( was never sporty) , and also the social life , is a great help.

Finally, just want to say, if you are depresed right now... hang in there. Don't hurt yourself. There is a route out, you just need to find the right route for you.

I am soo sorry to hear you went through the loss of your son... my condolences...

Yes I absolutely agree on your points.... +1

Wishing you a health and peaceful 2011...

foxinsox

to all of the posters in here...

fair play to you for posting, I think this is one of the best threads I've read in a long time...

I have my own story to tell but just not up to telling it tonight...

But I will say, don't ever think that nobody cares, people do care...

If you are feeling miserable please talk to someone...

TeddyTedson

I'm going to sound like a bit of an ass here and not trying to offend anyone but...
Just looking at those fingers for people who have or had depression and find them hard to believe to be honest.
Has everyone included actually been diagnosed I wonder???
What's the official figures for people who've suffered with depression in this country.
How do they compare with other EU countries?

TeddyTedson

TeddyTedson wrote: »

I'm going to sound like a bit of an ass here and not trying to offend anyone but...
Just looking at those fingers for people who have or had depression and find them hard to believe to be honest.
Has everyone included actually been diagnosed I wonder???
What's the official figures for people who've suffered with depression in this country.
How do they compare with other EU countries?

I don't think there are any official figures for depression. Only for suicide, which is a sad reflection on this country. I could stand to be corrected though.

But you know what though? It genuinely doesn't matter if people aren't diagnosed as being depressed. The main purpose of this thread is to raise awareness that it is out there, that there is nothing wrong with being depressed and that they should not suffer in silence, that they should find someone to speak to. And it has become apparent throughout this thread that it is working, people are admitting that there could be a problem, where they might not have fully understood, or even just didn't want to accept, and that people might get help. And if people get help then there is a stronger chance that they will get diagnosed if they are.

Erica<3

To those 146 people who are currently receiving no help - please, please, please reach out to someone.

I was where you are a few months ago. I was so depressed and lonely and couldn't see the good in anything. As far as I was concerned no one could help me. I had no motivation, I'd go to school, come home, go to bed, cry, and then get back up in the morning and do it all again. I used to lie in bed and wish that I just didn't wake up.

Then I overdosed, and not for the first time.

I was brought into hospital and they kept me under obs for the night and the next morning a nurse came to me and said I want to help you, but you have to talk and let us help you. I told her to leave me alone that I didn't need her help.

I was sent home and was told to go to the home help centre in my area (the psychiatric care unit) and that a nurse would be assigned to me for evaluation etc

A week later I found myself in the A&E of Naas General. Why? I had slashed my breasts 40 times with a razor blade and 11 times on one arm and 12 on the other. I admitted myself there because a that point I knew I needed help, I couldn't carry on like that.

Seven months later, I'm glad I hung around and chose to get help; chose to live in other words. Life is so much better now. As cheesy as it sounds, I realise the stuff I would have missed out on, like being a godmother, going to college, having the ideal course for me, meeting the best friends I ever had, and the one thing that probably saved my life was my horse. As silly as that sounds. He's such a calming influence, and I love him more than anything, (you're probably thinking it's a horse, get over it) and I know now that I CAN'T do anything to myself or bring myself down again because he is depending on me for everything.

SO now you're wondering, well I don't have a horse so what do I do? You talk to someone. You get help. People used to say to me, it CAN get better if you try but YOU have to be the driving force. I never believed them. Now I do. It CAN get better, because I'm still here, it worked for me, and I'm happy, I've found where I'm meant to be.

Think about it like this; if you go now, you will miss out on so much. You might not care about that now, but you have to hang on to see what happens. Someone, I can't quite remember who, said anyone can exist; it takes effort to live. It was to that effect basically.

dreababyluxe

Coming across this thread has lifted a small weight off my shoulders (for however long that lasts). I've been battling with depression for 10 years now, on and off (I am only 22, my first diagnosis was at 11/12 shortly after my father's suicide). This moment in time is the most difficult I have ever suffered as I feel as though I lack the fight in me I had before though rationally I know I want to pull through and am a very ambitious person, I haven't the motivation anymore, I'm drained.
I have always felt I lacked support from those around me and understanding, but especially from family. While depression isn't uncommon in my family and we've lost a few to suicide, it seems awkward for people to talk about. My friends never know where to put themselves and often get frustrated with me when I am down or go into hiding not wanting to go out or even grab a coffee, and my boyfriend (though excellant) really can't handle it either so I bottle it up feeling like a nuisance hating myself for what I put them through. I have really seen my mental health decline since 2007 but only really realised the extent of it lately coming very close to suicide a few times. I used to be, and still am deep down, an intelligent girl. I am not particularly ugly I'm led to believe but my self hatred, regret, shame, etc controls my thoughts, which by the way run on overtime like I'm sure most of yours do. Medication scares the wits out of me (I have taken it and had particular bad experiences with effexor) and I struggle to trust counsellors having overheard one repeat everything I had told her back to my mother, and another refer to me as a problem child (this was during my leaving cert yr when I asked to see a counsellor to help deal with home issues, namely my mother's dependancy on alcohol and beating me). I know deep down they aren't all the same, there must be some good ones out there, but I think what I really need is someone to support me, who cares about me, to accompany me along to such sessions and help me. I don't feel strong enough alone but I'm too afraid to ask. My work life, education, relationships are all being destroyed as a result of this god awful thing called depression, I really fear being alone, not that I can see myself allowing myself to experience things get that far.

It's fair to say people in Ireland are still very naive/ignorant to mental illnesses, and unfairly scared of people with them too. It's sad that we're often made to feel even more ashamed for feeling the way we do rather than nurtured and offered a helping hand which could probably get us out of the dark hole we've fallen into.

K-9

dreababyluxe wrote: »

Coming across this thread has lifted a small weight off my shoulders (for however long that lasts). I've been battling with depression for 10 years now, on and off (I am only 22, my first diagnosis was at 11/12 shortly after my father's suicide). This moment in time is the most difficult I have ever suffered as I feel as though I lack the fight in me I had before though rationally I know I want to pull through and am a very ambitious person, I haven't the motivation anymore, I'm drained.
I have always felt I lacked support from those around me and understanding, but especially from family. While depression isn't uncommon in my family and we've lost a few to suicide, it seems awkward for people to talk about. My friends never know where to put themselves and often get frustrated with me when I am down or go into hiding not wanting to go out or even grab a coffee, and my boyfriend (though excellant) really can't handle it either so I bottle it up feeling like a nuisance hating myself for what I put them through. I have really seen my mental health decline since 2007 but only really realised the extent of it lately coming very close to suicide a few times. I used to be, and still am deep down, an intelligent girl. I am not particularly ugly I'm led to believe but my self hatred, regret, shame, etc controls my thoughts, which by the way run on overtime like I'm sure most of yours do. Medication scares the wits out of me (I have taken it and had particular bad experiences with effexor) and I struggle to trust counsellors having overheard one repeat everything I had told her back to my mother, and another refer to me as a problem child (this was during my leaving cert yr when I asked to see a counsellor to help deal with home issues, namely my mother's dependancy on alcohol and beating me). I know deep down they aren't all the same, there must be some good ones out there, but I think what I really need is someone to support me, who cares about me, to accompany me along to such sessions and help me. I don't feel strong enough alone but I'm too afraid to ask. My work life, education, relationships are all being destroyed as a result of this god awful thing called depression, I really fear being alone, not that I can see myself allowing myself to experience things get that far.

It's fair to say people in Ireland are still very naive/ignorant to mental illnesses, and unfairly scared of people with them too. It's sad that we're often made to feel even more ashamed for feeling the way we do rather than nurtured and offered a helping hand which could probably get us out of the dark hole we've fallen into.

To me, there is a stigma attached to depression, reminds me of attitudes to alcoholism in many ways. Yes, talk to somebody, but often family don't understand or just can't empathise. Some just don't take it seriously.

I have a son with me every weekend so that is something to look forward too, reminds you of responsibilities and what is important. Dogs are great too, simplistic yes, but its a reminder of the outside world and a good one.

jackthelad321

Wow

I can't believe i came across this thread. Been depressed for a few years, but only recently, and after my lovely girlfried pleaded with me, did i go to the doctor for help.

He was very nice, asked me a lot of questions and gave me letter for the hospital to see a psychiatrist on call in an emergency. I have this is my bedside locker.

I remember years ago i said to a friend, when drunk, i suffer from depression. He immediately scoffed and go 'you do not. I suffer from depression.' I told him this story last week, when i told him about the depression, and he said to me 'Jesus. I was never depressed.' That one statement has years and years of lessons in it. About perception of depression, the realisation of it and the time it can take for it to become real.

I had thought i was a bit of a weakling, so to speak. I would end up in tears, wrought with emotion, but i always could put on a brave face. Something towards the end of this year gone ended up swallowing me. I couldn't deny it anymore.

I was embarassed going to the doctor. I had been into him getting shots for travels, and a twitch in my eye, and i was always laughing and joking. My demenour is very pleasant and happy. It was actually truly embarassing to allow myself to be open to him, but it was cathartic, as they say.

If I have any point to make, it's that the reality of what i have is awful, I can fall into a current of unease and darkness even when things seem perfect. What's scary is how little control I seem to have over it. But I do believe I can get over it. I don't think there is a quick fix.

I got lexapro from the doc. but i don't know if it's working, although there is certainly no harm as far as i see. All i can say is this thing is really really hard, and no joke. I have gotten lots of support from my friends, and my dad, as well as too much from my girlfriend who has an incredible heart. The terrible thing is that even though i have all this i still can't see the light sometimes.

Crazy. Still, I feel like i may be on a road, however long, and perhaps i can take some lessons from this. Like understanding and empathy. As said, anyone who is depressed should seek help. Even if your not clinically depressed you may prevent yourself eventually becoming so. People need help, most of the time, in one way or another. I have to laugh, it took me so long to realise it when all the signs were there.

Drinking with depression is not a good idea-- ever. Or drugs.

Horse_box

I think people in this country use the word depressed a little bit too freely sometimes. I'm in no way suggesting that this thread is unrepresentative of depression figures in the country, it's obvious the posters here are very clued in on the matter and this thread is a credit to the boards community. I mean when the average Joe Soap on the street say's they're depressed

There have been plenty of times when I've been in college where someone would say loosely, almost jokingly that they are depressed about an upcoming exam or a class, using the word far too freely. This happens because a lot of people don't really know what depression is. I'd say if I sat my group of friends down and told them I was feeling depressed, most would just think I was having a bad day, ask me how I doing and leave it at that without much follow up,if any at all. These friends arn't bad friends because of this, they just don't understand that there is science to depression, it's not just a few days feeling down in the dumps and then it's all over

At the end of the day, the reason some people are ignorant to the facts about depression, is down to poor education in the schools, colleges and workplaces. I remember one time our class got a small talk about depression in 6th year of secondary school, that was it, they left it very simplistic and I think even furthered the stigma of depression because they didn't go into the complex details that depression needs to be described in so people can grasp the enorimity of the problem, especially in this country.

andrew cross

Horse_box wrote: »

I think people in this country use the word depressed a little bit too freely sometimes. I'm in no way suggesting that this thread is unrepresentative of depression figures in the country, it's obvious the posters here are very clued in on the matter and this thread is a credit to the boards community. I mean when the average Joe Soap on the street say's they're depressed

There have been plenty of times when I've been in college where someone would say loosely, almost jokingly that they are depressed about an upcoming exam or a class, using the word far too freely. This happens because a lot of people don't really know what depression is. I'd say if I sat my group of friends down and told them I was feeling depressed, most would just think I was having a bad day, ask me how I doing and leave it at that without much follow up,if any at all. These friends arn't bad friends because of this, they just don't understand that there is science to depression, it's not just a few days feeling down in the dumps and then it's all over

At the end of the day, the reason some people are ignorant to the facts about depression, is down to poor education in the schools, colleges and workplaces. I remember one time our class got a small talk about depression in 6th year of secondary school, that was it, they left it very simplistic and I think even furthered the stigma of depression because they didn't go into the complex details that depression needs to be described in so people can grasp the enorimity of the problem, especially in this country.

depression can be a very serious illness ,the longer it goes on the worse it gets, to many young people have died so early diagnosis is important, it might just be counselling that you might need, cbt, there are many roads leading out of depression, sometimes we need help to take that road, gp friends, help line, whatever helps you,

steddyeddy

FoxT wrote: »

BoneyarseBogeyman, thanks for starting this thread.
Christmas & New Year is not a Great Happy Time for many people - in fact it can be quite the opposite - very sensitive & savvy of you to kick this off.

I think that everybody's experience with the Black Dog is unique, so I offer the following in the hope that it may help others. I had a tough time myself a few years back ( going back a few years, when my son died suddenly) , and I found that...

- GP not very helpful. Prescribed meds which I tried for a while & found the 'cure' was far worse than the 'disease'.

- I changed jobs around the same time & my new employer sought a report from my GP. Her report included mention of a 'depressive episode' . This had an impact on my life insurance (job perk) , which could have impacted on my family if I was run over by a bus or whatever - I am married w children & was never suicidal - I felt betrayed by my GP on this and would never consider going to my regular GP in the event of another 'episode' occurring.

- drink is absolutely deadly. I love my couple of drinks but will avoid or abstain if I am feeling low, it just isnt worth it.

- fresh air helps enormously... I got involved in a sport about 10 years ago ( am 46 now) and getting out & about, being active ( was never sporty) , and also the social life , is a great help.

Finally, just want to say, if you are depresed right now... hang in there. Don't hurt yourself. There is a route out, you just need to find the right route for you.

very sorry to hear about your loss I comend you for your bravery

Connie_c28

wellboy76 wrote: »

How do you know you have depression?

Do overweight or unfit people use it as an excuse?

How does it click into gear is what I'm saying because I bet there are a lot of people who self diagnose themselves incorrectly

A low mood combined with a loss of interest is usually a sign of depression when they have been occurring for two or more weeks. The loss of interest in activities that once were regular, normal and may have given pleasure i.e. a teenage boy and say football
A depressed mood usually involves feelings of sadness, worthlessness, hopelessness and guilt. If a person is crying a great deal, especially when this isn't preceded by the 'normal' grief from bereavement, for example, there is a possibility that depression is present.

Some of the symptoms came be:
Sleeping: over sleeping / difficulty sleeping, exhaustion or lack of energy as in find it difficult to get up
Eating: lose or gain in appetite, Thinking: changes in concentration etc, you can become irritable for no apparent reason, poor self-esteem, reduced interest in sex or increase in promiscuity and the big one Suicidal thoughts
But also with depression if you are not the crying type like I wasn’t – my body shut down, I was constantly getting chest, throat, lung infections and migraines. I tried getting on with things and got up for work, went to my sports until I physically couldn’t get out of bed.

So to answer you I don’t think many would intentionally use depression as an excuse not to do something.
For me it was the worse period of my life and I am quite conscience of the fact I can rebound so would have a mood diary now to recognise if my mood has dipped for any extended period - sorry for the long reply but I feel this topic needs it

Naikon

What about the implications of a Depression diagnosis? If I ever had a depressive episode, I am sure as hell not going near a doctor to be socially labelled a "Depressive". Issues like this need clear definitions before you can expect more people to "get help" amidst a sea of ignorance.

Connie_c28

Bare with me people but feel I had to comment on these comments:

Charlie. wrote: »

Really? I'm not being a smartass here but how do they gather stats on suicide if they are recorded as accidents IYKWIM?

I might be wrong but I think this is part of the point some people are making when some are quoting figures from 50 yrs ago to now. A lot of cases state death by mis-adventure or break in whatever bone in neck or organ failure (not overdose) etc - now people would admit it was a suicide but due to religious reasons or embarrassment years ago families would have said it was an accident etc. So the question is - are the comparing like with like in these studies??

Novella wrote: »

Sorry to jump in here, but I don't get what you're saying really. Do you believe that every single person who says that they are depressed really are?

I am not naive enough to believe this. Also I know some people do it for selfish reasons (to collect disability etc)

steddyeddy wrote: »

Excuse my ignorance but if something bad in your life happens eg death of a wife or whatever a a depression results, is that clinical depression or does clinical depression usually have no known cause?

Everyone (well most people) have a depressive period when a loved one dies and this of course is natural and expected. However, when the period extended usually a month or two later and the mood has not lifted and requires an intervention of sorts from a medical professional it is then classed clinical depression (if depression is diagnoised obviously). This can also be called a re-active depression.

t0mm13b wrote: »

Another point to make about the statement in bold....

GP's are bound to the patient confidentiality.... so there is zero to fear from that... so what... they cannot operate without the Hyppocratic(sp?) Oath... which is drummed into their brains from day one of training - keep the gob shut and do not discuss it....

I know of one GP (not naming names), who yaps and breaks patient confidentiality by discussing their patient's illness or situation....

Well people should name this GP's name as patient confidentiality is a big thing and should never be broked, it can only be if the patient signs a disclaimer.

pheasant tail wrote: »

Well all,i havent really been following all of this but wibbs,,i see where your coming from,,but i think that as tom said,basically summed it up,,if you havent experienced depression then you dont know how it feels and its hard to judge or comment on people or things relating to depression!!

Although I may not agree with all of the stuff wibbs is saying :P I think it is unfair to say unless you have been in the situation you can not comment. I agree it is an overly used label and total agree it is overly medicated rediculously so.
Can't believe I am going to post this but well my personal experience in the Irish system was: I thankfully have a great GP who knew most things about my life in so far as within a couple of years I was happily pregnant but sadly at 20wks lost my twin boys - gods kicker to this was for my brother (well his gf) to have twin boys three weeks before this, later that year a close friend died, the following year I was in a bad crash, later in the year my gran who without taking away from my great mam basically raised me (we lived 3 doors away) and was like a bestfriend. Each time I picked myself up and got on with it - went to work, played my sports (marter I know!), then the next year nothing happened and I started getting sick as in migraines, chest infections (which for someone with asthma isn't an unusual thing). The main reason I went to him was I had a long weekend off work Thursday to the Monday and I slept literally for all but 12 hours.
My doctor diagnoised depression but he is always reluctant to prescribe tablets so he referred me to the psych dept in the mater and this is where the fun started.
They agreed with my doc and straight away prescribed tablets, in my naivity I agree to take them but did ask what could I do to obviously get over the issues I had. I was put on a 18month waiting list as I couldn't afford to go private.
Within a few weeks I didn't feel right on the tablets but was told it wouldn't be the tablets as they take at least 6-8 weeks to kick in. Basically to put a long story short the first set of tablets they gave me made it that I could only sleep 3 hours a night and made me have panic attacks - what did they do? Oh perscribe sleeping tablets to counteract the tablets that were to keep me awake.
When I refused these saying this was ridiculous I went the doc cause of my over sleeping I was put then on a second tablet that then made me suicidal and I do believe it was the tablets as although at the time I lost my boys I obviously felt like I didn't want to live at no stage did I want to die either if you get me.
After taking an overdose, the convinced my mam to make me take a third type which affect immune system so much that it actually scarred my liver! I was able to prove this was the cause because the night of my overdose they checked my liver and that and everything luckily was fine. With the help of my local GP and My family, who pooled together with me to help me pay for cognitive therapy sessions and 7 sessions later and I was on the road to sorting my life out and off the stupid tablets that were suppose to be the cure.

Why was I telling all this? It was to say Wibbs although you do make some very good points some are coming across harsh to sufferers and this post was originally (I believe) to give a message of hope to people who may think/feel they need help.

Also when you speak of 50yrs ago to now. Another reason for this is the actual tools they use to diagnose. How many people in their 50's have you heard of only being diagnosed with mental illnesses because they had used alcohol to cover it. Or even if you look at other issues like the Autistic Spectrum - the case can be made for over labelling children/adults...is this true too or is it that the medical knowledge now allows for easier diagnosis?

Ok I am going to stop now! Peace and Love to all

Naikon

Naikon wrote: »

What about the implications of a Depression diagnosis? If I ever had a depressive episode, I am sure as hell not going near a doctor to be socially labelled a "Depressive". Issues like this need clear definitions before you can expect more people to "get help" amidst a sea of ignorance.

You go to a counselor or doctor, they tell you you might be depressed. Only you and the doctor/counselor know. How exactly is this you being socially labeled as being depressed? Only. Two. People. Know. Being depressed doesn't mean you walk around shouting, "hey! Look at me! I'm depressed! See my badge?". That is the kind of thinking that we need to get rid of in this country.

If people go to a counselor because they are feeling bad but turns out they're not depressed, then it's wonderful news for them.

Wibbs

Deleted User wrote: »

If people go to a counselor because they are feeling bad but turns out they're not depressed, then it's wonderful news for them.

How likely is that though? How likely is it today that someone goes into the medical loop and doesn't come out with a diagnosis of depression and a SSRI stylee script to match? I'd say pretty unlikely TBH.

Connie_c28 wrote:

Also when you speak of 50yrs ago to now. Another reason for this is the actual tools they use to diagnose. How many people in their 50's have you heard of only being diagnosed with mental illnesses because they had used alcohol to cover it. Or even if you look at other issues like the Autistic Spectrum - the case can be made for over labelling children/adults...is this true too or is it that the medical knowledge now allows for easier diagnosis?

Oh certainly diagnostic tools have much improved, but I would still contend there is an over diagnosis/over medicalisation of this whole area. You don't have to go back 50 years. 20 would do it. There are far more 20 year olds going through the mental health system now than in say 1990. Far more on long term meds. Cutting as a form of self harm is another example. Ask anyone who has a few decades under his or her belt in the psychiatric field and they'll tell you its far more common now. That's hardly genetic. Much more likely a cultural meme. Looking at the stats on this poll, I simply don't believe that nearly 3/4 of the surveyed suffered from clinical depression. Well its either that or boards users are an incredibly weird demographic. Yea you're gonna get more socially isolated types more likely to suffer with this with online groups, but still, 3/4? Nope, dont buy it.

My contention is that depression is pretty heavily(and fashionably) over diagnosed/medicalised. That today we have far more avenues available to sufferers. More treatment options, more counselors etc. Yet with better treatments and better access to same, we have more sufferers? Does not compute, nor does it follow other areas of medicine.

Wibbs you are being extremely counter-productive to this thread. If you read my post before jumping to conclusions, you would have noticed that I said doctor or counselor. I would go to a counselor before a doctor, because I don't want to be prescribed anti-depressants, talking gets a load off of my chest. Your issues are with the medical industry labeling people as depressed, go deal with that. You are coming across as attacking people who want to come out about this and is likely pushing more back, but also forcing some posters to step away from this thread, in fear that you'll have a go at them.