Depression

Kiera

Darlughda wrote: »

Kiera, depression is manifested in many different ways.

Before a low spell, I can spend weeks literally seeting with frustration, resentment and rage.

I have learnt to control my anger, luckily I have never been violent, but when I was younger, I would literally start arguments and rows any kind of chaos really,because the tension of this anger would overwhelm me.

I'm just asking all these questions cause i dont actually get depression. I dont mean to offend anyone. I'm just trying to learn about tbh.

Cheers for the reply

Princess Peach

Kiera wrote: »

Still not buying it. I've never met someone who is depressed and seem angry? They just seem sad and when they talk about it they have never once mentioned anger? Am i just not looking deep enough into what you're saying or what am i missing here?

I can get soo angry sometimes! And with my counselor I worked out that often when I get down, its when I should be getting angry. Like when somebody upsets me, instead of dealing with my anger, I'll just cry alone about it. When getting angry would actually be better for me, cause its a better way of dealing with emotions, if that makes sense. But I can still get an awful temper sometimes. Just cause I have depression, doesn't mean I don't have other emotions.

Kiera, maybe it's a case that you've never seen a depressive person at their worst? When I'm having an overly depressive episode, I choose to lock myself away so I don't bother anyone with it. There is a lot of anger associated with it for me, usually with regards that I feel like this at all. Thankfully these episodes are a lot rarer now, as I actively went out to change the aspect of my life that were affecting me - quit my job, made loads of new friends, became more active. It is still nagging at me sometime, at the back of my mind, but it's manageable now.

Novella

I don't think the whole 'Rage turned inward' thing is about being an angry person, that'd be a bit simplistic. Depression is associated with negative feeling etc., and this is often exacerbated by the sufferer being unable to express their feelings, their emotions. Thus all of the frustration, sadness, irritation is held in and hence it builds up and gets worse...

Obviously not all cases of depression are the same, and I haven't really looked into the 'Rage turned inward' thing in depth, but it does make some sense.

Susannahmia

Kiera wrote: »

Still not buying it. I've never met someone who is depressed and seem angry? They just seem sad and when they talk about it they have never once mentioned anger? Am i just not looking deep enough into what you're saying or what am i missing here?

I got very angry a lot the constant anxiety just built up and up until it exploded as rage and frustration.

Darlughda

Kiera wrote: »

I'm just asking all these questions cause i dont actually get depression. I dont mean to offend anyone. I'm just trying to learn about tbh.

Cheers for the reply

Oh, gosh no! I wasn't offended-didn't mean to come across that way.

Actually, this thread has been really informative for me, especially because it hasn't turned into a love in, and some other people's experiences are so different from mine.

For example foxinsox' story, so much so that I was here thinking, jayzus is this what I have at all, or have I something completely different, but been lumped under a convenient umbrella term,

or.....am I just a chronic moany self indulgent git:eek:

Kiera

Deleted User wrote: »

Kiera, maybe it's a case that you've never seen a depressive person at their worst? When I'm having an overly depressive episode, I choose to lock myself away so I don't bother anyone with it. There is a lot of anger associated with it for me, usually with regards that I feel like this at all. Thankfully these episodes are a lot rarer now, as I actively went out to change the aspect of my life that were affecting me - quit my job, made loads of new friends, became more active. It is still nagging at me sometime, at the back of my mind, but it's manageable now.

I have actually. A very close family memeber is suffering from it at the mo. This is why i'm asking so many questions because i dont understand it and i want to just shake them and tell them to "cop on" but i know that wont work.

Princess Peach

Kiera wrote: »

I have actually. A very close family memeber is suffering from it at the mo. This is why i'm asking so many questions because i dont understand it and i want to just shake them and tell them to "cop on" but i know that wont work.

I like your questions, make people talk more

Tbh I don't really understand it myself. Some days I just tell myself to cop on, never works though :P

Susannahmia

Kiera wrote: »

i want to just shake them and tell them to "cop on" but i know that wont work.

Thats what I wanted to do to myself so I know for someone looking in its hard to understand. Hell I don't even understand it myself. Please don't though you will make them feel 100x as bad about themselves than they already do.

FindingMimo

sorry for butting in here, just seen this topic and it is of a bit of interest to me...
i read the first couple of pages but then skipped to the end so maybe i missed the actual answer to my question and you have already talked about it -

from what i can see, everyone has put forward symptoms of depression, like how it effects your day to day life....
but does anyone know what causes it? because to be frank, its literally getting on my last nerve now lol

Novella

Kiera wrote: »

I have actually. A very close family memeber is suffering from it at the mo. This is why i'm asking so many questions because i dont understand it and i want to just shake them and tell them to "cop on" but i know that wont work.

I know you wouldn't be one of my biggest fans, Kiera, but fwiw, I am really sorry to hear that someone close to you isn't well. I know how bloody frustrating it is though, and how much you just wanna have back the person you used to have. It's impossible to know what to say, but I think that maybe being there is enough, and making sure that they know you're not gonna go anywhere, no matter how bad things get. I hope they start feeling better soon, and that it gets easier for you.

Kiera

Kiera wrote: »

I have actually. A very close family memeber is suffering from it at the mo. This is why i'm asking so many questions because i dont understand it and i want to just shake them and tell them to "cop on" but i know that wont work.

If anything that might make them much worse. Telling them to "cop on" would completely undermine the whole thing, I think. I am probably completely wrong in what I'm about to say, but I somewhat think depression is closely linked to anorexia, bulimia and disorders like that. You can prescribe medication all you want, give them all the advice you can think of, but it is up to the sufferer to realise that there is a problem and for them to actively make changes that might make things better. Obviously this is not always the case, unfortunately.

FindingMimo wrote: »

sorry for butting in here, just seen this topic and it is of a bit of interest to me...
i read the first couple of pages but then skipped to the end so maybe i missed the actual answer to my question and you have already talked about it -

from what i can see, everyone has put forward symptoms of depression, like how it effects your day to day life....
but does anyone know what causes it? because to be frank, its literally getting on my last nerve now lol

It's impossible to know what causes it, as it can be different for everyone.

Susannahmia

FindingMimo wrote: »

sorry for butting in here, just seen this topic and it is of a bit of interest to me...
i read the first couple of pages but then skipped to the end so maybe i missed the actual answer to my question and you have already talked about it -

from what i can see, everyone has put forward symptoms of depression, like how it effects your day to day life....
but does anyone know what causes it? because to be frank, its literally getting on my last nerve now lol

For me I think it was mostly genetic, I have a huge family history of it. When my depression begun there was no huge stresser. Also it started at the same age as my mother, aunts, uncle and grandmother.

In fact I had gone through bad bereavement etc which were much more stressful times before that and coped just fine. I considered myself easygoing and well able to cope with anything put in front of me.

I honestly believe my brain just stopped producing enough serotonin etc.

Kiera

Novella wrote: »

I know you wouldn't be one of my biggest fans, Kiera, but fwiw, I am really sorry to hear that someone close to you isn't well. I know how bloody frustrating it is though, and how much you just wanna have back the person you used to have. It's impossible to know what to say, but I think that maybe being there is enough, and making sure that they know you're not gonna go anywhere, no matter how bad things get. I hope they start feeling better soon, and that it gets easier for you.

I didnt put that info out there for sympathy. I'm just explaining to everyone why i'm asking so many questions and that i'm not trying to get "at" people. I'm just trying to get my head around it.

...and who knows, i might not ever understand it....

/thank you, S anyway.

t0mm13b

Princess Peach wrote: »

I like your questions, make people talk more

Tbh I don't really understand it myself. Some days I just tell myself to cop on, never works though :P

To be honest, when I was in that period, and when someone told me to "cop on", it roused a lot of anger and I would literally explode, uncontrollable anger, when nerves are frayed, followed by palpitations and tell that someone to fcuk off... what made it even worse was that someone said "I've anger management problems and a chip on the shoulder" - that's the common term that is being said when in that state, really, things bottled up so badly that the shakes are uncontrollable and made me look like a "spazzer" if you get me...but the thing is - they do not deserve to be on the receiving end of my uncontrollable anger/rage, and when that emotion goes and subsidise, I did not feel any better after that, and end up feeling so so guilty and beat myself up... that was part of the cycle...

Even today as of now, despite the effexor, it is manageable, but am re-learning on how NOT to blow my top, the thing about all of this with reading other people's postings, the road to recovery involves a lot of re-learning, but this time, changing the mental/emotional approach....and it has not been easy...

even typing this in, it makes my heart beat a little faster at the realization as I put into words... not sympathy either, just understanding...

Kiera

Kiera wrote: »

I didnt put that info out there for sympathy. I'm just explaining to everyone why i'm asking so many questions and that i'm not trying to get "at" people. I'm just trying to get my head around it.

...and who knows, i might not ever understand it....

/thank you, S anyway.

As someone has said previously, it is near impossible for someone who has not experienced depression to understand it fully. I think you might be better off just letting them know that they aren't alone rather than trying to figure it out. I cannot stress how important that is, as there's a real sense of isolation with it.

Wolfe Tone

Since I told my mother she has made it her mission to pop in and say "cheer up will ya!!" about 5 times a day. headwrecking

Susannahmia

Daroxtar wrote: »

Ah sure there's no such thing as depression , its all in the mind.


Now before I'm set upon, Everybody goes through some turmoil at some stage in their lives, I went through a few years of fairly successful self destruction , and you can take all the meds and have all the counselling in the world but its your own mind that you have to get to know and work with to deal successfully with what you go through. Some people get a great benefit out of therapy and tablets, and if it works for you then thats what matters, but you still have to actually deal with things yourself.

Seeing as everyone does get depressed in some way or another at some stage then rather than treating it as an illness we should maybe accept it as part of the human condition and stop labelling and stigmatising people for feeling what are perfectly normal human feelings and emotions. I came to the conclusion a while back that I am actually a bit mad, but I'm now quite content with that. I might be daft but I'm not a fukcin eejit altogether so now I'm happy enough dealing with my own "uniqueness".

We can't be happy all the time, if we were then we'd be a race of blissed up gimps, a "Have a nice day" saccharine soaked caricature of what humanity is supposed to be. We are what we are, for better or for worse and acceptance of this can often be the first step for people who are struggling. It might seem a bit glib or insensitive but thats my take on it.

Theres a big difference between being clinically depressed and feeling sad and down. Before I had depression I believed exactly what you do now. You just really do not have a clue until you have actually experienced it.

Earthhorse

Wibbs wrote: »

My contention is that depression is pretty heavily(and fashionably) over diagnosed/medicalised. That today we have far more avenues available to sufferers. More treatment options, more counselors etc. Yet with better treatments and better access to same, we have more sufferers? Does not compute, nor does it follow other areas of medicine.

It's a pretty well observed phenomenon that if you build more roads you create more traffic. Doesn't make sense initially; if there are more roads surely there should be less traffic all round? But when you build more roads people use their cars more and more people buy cars. It shouldn't surprise us that as more mental health services become available - a health service that is widely acknowledged as being poorly managed, and the mental health service widely acknowledged as neglected - that there is a greater uptake of them.

Oh certainly diagnostic tools have much improved, but I would still contend there is an over diagnosis/over medicalisation of this whole area. You don't have to go back 50 years. 20 would do it. There are far more 20 year olds going through the mental health system now than in say 1990. Far more on long term meds.

What does that prove though? Is there a number you have in mind for what is acceptable to put through the mental health system? Everything I've read on the matter suggests that the system is straining and that not everyone who needs help can get it. If anything, the number should be higher than it is now. Doesn't matter if there are more in the system now than there were then; everyone who's ill should be able to get treatment.

Cutting as a form of self harm is another example. Ask anyone who has a few decades under his or her belt in the psychiatric field and they'll tell you its far more common now. That's hardly genetic. Much more likely a cultural meme.

Sure, I agree it's a cultural meme, like hysteria was in the twenties. Women seemed to feint a lot more then than they do now. The question is why and in whom does this behaviour manifest itself? Is it people who have a genuine medical condition or is it, as some would suggest, merely an attention seeking gambit? It could be either, none or both. So they question then becomes what do you with people who self harm? Turn them away because you believe some may be faking or exaggerating? Personally, I think when someone has gotten to the point that they are self harming there is something fundamentally wrong that requires intervention, whatever form that might take.

You're central contention is that depression is over diagnosed and medicalised. I don't entirely disagree but I think it's more accurate to say that other medical illnesses and behaviour problems are under diagnosed and alternative treatments are under supplied.

Personally, I believe a few things could happen to improve the situation (and bear in mind, these are the ramblings of an interested amateur rather than someone with proper experience.

1) All diagnoses of mental illness should be confirmed by psychiatrists: I realise the trend has been the other direction in recent years and don't doubt that GPs can and often do correctly diagnose these conditions. But it is my belief that depression is often a co-morbid condition; it comes about as a result of another illness. This is quite obvious in the case of people with long term physical illnesses, not so much in the case of people who say, suffer from social anxiety, but only present themself for treatment when the problem has ballooned to included depression.

2) More counseling services should be made available: The number has increased, as you pointed out, but I'm not sure the ratio of counselors to patients has gotten any better. Pretty much everything I've read on depression says counseling with medication produces the best results. This is why I say the problem isn't over medicalised, rather it is under counseled.

3) I don't remember: I had a third suggestion. Can't remember what is is now. Quite sure it was brilliant though.

I don't think what I'm saying is all that radical either. Most doctors, psychiatrists and counselors would say services are criminally underfunded (and, as a result, over-subscribed). We should provide a fully functioning, modern mental health service before deciding the system doesn't work; no poorly built system should be expected to.

Princess Peach

MUSSOLINI wrote: »

Since I told my mother she has made it her mission to pop in and say "cheer up will ya!!" about 5 times a day. headwrecking

Ah her heart's in the right place though. My sister has come into my room 4 times today to get me out of bed and do things. Sooooo annoying but I know she means well.

Wolfe Tone

Princess Peach wrote: »

Ah her heart's in the right place though. My sister has come into my room 4 times today to get me out of bed and do things. Sooooo annoying but I know she means well.

I know yeah, I just want to be left alone really.

MUSSOLINI

MUSSOLINI wrote: »

Since I told my mother she has made it her mission to pop in and say "cheer up will ya!!" about 5 times a day. headwrecking

Sit her down and tell her that you love her, that you really appreciate what she is doing, but her coming in to you like that is aggravating more than it is help you Make sure you tell her rationally and calmly, saying that you do love her, as it is something she is coming to grips with herself and it's the only way she knows to deal with it.

Susannahmia

Kiera wrote: »

Now this is the part i dont get. Why would someone self harm? I just dont get it. I dont think its cause they have a MI. To me it seems like attention seeking? This is just my opinion mind. I'd like someone to change it if they could explain the reason behind self harming?

For me it was because I was so angry and frustrated with myself and it actually seemed to calm me and stop the anxiety for a minute....just a minute but it seemed more than worth it at the time. From reading up on it after I learned that the act of self harm actually causes your brain to release endorphins, which make you feel better and calmer for a short while. It wasn't attention driven, I never showed anyone and was very ashamed of it.

C_Dawg

Susannahmia wrote: »

constant anxiety

I was extremely anxious since 18, only been really down and upset about two years ago but according to the psychiatrist the anxiety was just a symptom of depression and most likely I've been depressed since before that in my teenage years.

Sardonicat

MUSSOLINI wrote: »

Since I told my mother she has made it her mission to pop in and say "cheer up will ya!!" about 5 times a day. headwrecking

Yeah, just cheer up! Smile, it might not happen!:rolleyes: If only it was that simple!

I know she's wrecking your head. But what she's actually trying to do is let you know she cares for you. She's probably a bit afraid and at a loss how to deal with it .I know she's going about it the wrong way, but that's 'cos she doesn't know any better. Tell her thanks and not to be too worried for you. Why don't you ask her why she thinks you need cheering up? Maybe she's trying to instigate a conversation?

Kiera

MUSSOLINI wrote: »

I know yeah, I just want to be left alone really.

But being left alone will make you worse? I mean, would it not be better to get out and take your mind off it rather than sitting in your room alone with only your thoughts?

C_Dawg

C_Dawg wrote: »

I was extremely anxious since 18, only been really down and upset about two years ago but according to the psychiatrist the anxiety was just a symptom of depression and most likely I've been depressed since before that in my teenage years.

How did you feel once you heard this?

WindSock

Kiera wrote: »

But being left alone will make you worse? I mean, would it not be better to get out and take your mind off it rather than sitting in your room alone with only your thoughts?

Going out doesn't necessarily take a persons mind off of it, it may even exacerbate the ill feelings.

Sardonicat

Kiera wrote: »

But being left alone will make you worse? I mean, would it not be better to get out and take your mind off it rather than sitting in your room alone with only your thoughts?

With the greatest of respect to you, Kiera, you have acknowledged that you don't understand the condition. The old chestnut " get out and take your mind off it" is not at all helpful.

Princess Peach

MUSSOLINI wrote: »

I know yeah, I just want to be left alone really.

Just tell her! My mother used to cry cause I just refused to talk to her, and wanted to be left alone and wouldn't talk about it or anything. My dad would come and tell me this and I would just half listen to him and tell him "grand" and then change nothing. Things are better now but I still don't talk to them about how I'm feeling. I do feel bad about how it makes them feel, like if I stay in my room all day my sister often thinks its cause I don't want to spend time with her.

If you think you can explain this to your family, do try! Cause I can't find the courage :P

WindSock

Sardonicat wrote: »

With the greatest of respect to you, Kiera, you have acknowledged that you don't understand the condition. The old chestnut " get out and take your mind off it" is not at all helpful.

Yeah but she did say she is trying to understand it. Nothing wrong with that.

C_Dawg

Deleted User wrote: »

How did you feel once you heard this?

After hearing it I looked back over my life and could definitely see a patterns of behaviour like isolating myself, sleeping too much etc.

At the time it was just more sh!tty news at a time when I was feeling awful already. However I can look look back on that diagnosis and feel it was the start of the road to recovery.

Wolfe Tone

Deleted User wrote: »

Sit her down and tell her that you love her, that you really appreciate what she is doing, but her coming in to you like that is aggravating more than it is help you Make sure you tell her rationally and calmly, saying that you do love her, as it is something she is coming to grips with herself and it's the only way she knows to deal with it.

Yeah I might do that, Im not a fan of the aul heart to hearts though.

Sardonicat wrote: »

Yeah, just cheer up! Smile, it might not happen!:rolleyes: If only it was that simple!

I know she's wrecking your head. But what she's actually trying to do is let you know she cares for you. She's probably a bit afraid and at a loss how to deal with it .I know she's going about it the wrong way, but that's 'cos she doesn't know any better. Tell her thanks and not to be too worried for you. Why don't you ask her why she thinks you need cheering up? Maybe she's trying to instigate a conversation?

I think she is, but I really don't want to talk about it with her tbh.

Kiera wrote: »

But being left alone will make you worse? I mean, would it not be better to get out and take your mind off it rather than sitting in your room alone with only your thoughts?

Im trying to distract myself by being on this, playing the playstation and listening to music, who says men cant multitask! Tbh If I was around anyone I would end up being angry with them.

Kiera

Sardonicat wrote: »

With the greatest of respect to you, Kiera, you have acknowledged that you don't understand the condition. The old chestnut " get out and take your mind off it" is not at all helpful.

Ok fair enough. But why wouldnt it help to get out and do something to "try" take your mind off it? dont they say exercise helps depression and that?

Princess Peach

Sardonicat wrote: »

Yeah, just cheer up! Smile, it might not happen!:rolleyes: If only it was that simple!

I know she's wrecking your head. But what she's actually trying to do is let you know she cares for you. She's probably a bit afraid and at a loss how to deal with it .I know she's going about it the wrong way, but that's 'cos she doesn't know any better. Tell her thanks and not to be too worried for you. Why don't you ask her why she thinks you need cheering up? Maybe she's trying to instigate a conversation?

ANGRY RANT!

I hate when people, especially strangers tell me to cheer up, don't look so miserable. Its none of you business, I'll look like what I want to look like. I'm not gonna force a fake grin on my face just cause I'm out in public and you feel uncomfortable looking at me.

End!

Kiera

For anyone who suspects that they might be suffering from depression, would an agreeable route be to first speak to a counselor to help identify if they are and then possibly visiting a GP if both the counselor and the sufferer feel fit?

Kiera wrote: »

Ok fair enough. But why wouldnt it help to get out and do something to "try" take your mind off it? dont they say exercise helps depression and that?

Sometimes when you have sunk down into a really dark place, the only thing that you can think of/focus on is this. Even when you try and think about something else, it usually sneaks back up on you. That's what I've found sometimes.

Kiera

Not something I'd normally post on here, especially not signed in, but sure feck it, it's only t'internet. It's not like any of ye are real people


I've been Depressed. Not too bad nowadays, but had it really bad for along time. Pretty much, i left school a while ago, about six years ago, after transition year. Anyway, lost contact with all my friends over the course of a few weeks and ended up in a job I despised.

Eventually left the job and went to work elsewhere (retail). By this point I'd say it had started to kick in on me. I think it was more of a loneliness turning to a social anxiety and eventually leading into a bit of the old depression.

Left the retail job after a while as it was becoming too stressful/annoying.

Onto the dole again I went and with no friends, no way to socialise and having what must have been some in-built social anxiety issue (i've always been terrified of unformal public places or events) having no hope of socialising, I just sat around, got really fat (i've always been heavy, but let it get out of hand). Quite literally went for months on end with no contact with anyone except my dad and brother.


After seriously considering suicide i felt it was probably time to balls up and go to my GP (of course it took weeks to build up the confidence to even say it to my GP).

GP gave me some anti-depressants and 'calmers'. Took them for a week or two, noted that they didn't do anything for me at all, and not wanting to be on medication for the rest of my life, and realising, as a dole scrounger, I was never gonna be able to afford therapy (and also didn't want the stigma that goes with it).


Skip forward to 2009 and my brother got married in Lanzarote. Lots of people went. My first holiday abroad. Hated the thoughts of it. Went out drinking with a few of my brother's friends (i don't drink, this was my first time doing so). Went OK. Was extremely anxious through the whole night. Scared of everything (and I don't mean, afraid I'd end up in a fight or that I'd get drunk and be killed on the way home or other such extremely unlikely scenarios. I mean things like, will I look ou tof place, what if I am left on my own, what if someone says something, anything, to me, will I know what to say, what do i order, how do i act in here, who in the group should I cling to, etc.). I pretty much ended up sitting on a stool at the bar and not moving a whole lot.


This happened twice more on the holiday. Once at the wedding, where I spent most of the day sulking to myself and wanting to be alone (this was probably the only time I'd say i was ever "angry"). Just watching other people being so easily able to integrate with others and talk about anything and everything and mix with others with ease... Man, it really killed me. Just knowing that everyone else could mingle and I was just not able for it at all was a killer.

Oddly enough, the copious amounts of alcohol shone through and i became a little more confident. Even had a little silly dance at one point (so I can see why people with any sort of depression can end up relying on alcohol a lot).


Ended up drinking too much, got sad and went back to my hotel room in a "why can't i be like everyone else" huff. Sounds silly, cheesy and you're probably cringe-ing reading it, but that's the truth.



Anyway, a small few of my brothers friends kept in contact with me since then and that was good (to note; I would consider myself a good person. I would never hurt or insult others or such, so I have met a few people over time who would keep halfheartedly in contact with me, but it'd eventually fluster out into nothing, as I'd have trouble keeping in touch. Not really seeing the point or reason to keep in touch with people by phone or such, as I knew i'd never have the balls to go out and meet them in the real world).


I joined a gym with my brother one time then. Might sound quite out of character for someone who can't stand to be in a public place and who is a fat prick, to suddenly join a gym, but that's what happened. I think I just ended up getting so frustrated and annoyed sitting in my bedroom using the PC for, at this stage, years on end, that the opportunity to get out and about was just too good to pass up, despite what I was gonna be doing.


Turns out the gym was fairly empty and i started going somewhat regularly. Always went first thing in the morning at 6.30/7.00am so the place would be practically empty and there'd be no one around to see me.

Took up photography as an interest then. Gave me a reason to head out into the world at oddball times when no one is around ("night time photography" etc.) and through doing such have actually taken a few decent images that made me feel like i could accomplish something. Hearing people compliment (or critique!) an image taken by you is a great thing.

Skip to the summer of 2010 and I started taking the weight loss/fitness world seriously. Lost about two and a half stone, and went on a holiday with brother/friends/dad again. Shared with one of the guys that I had met last year and talked to through the year.

Again, dreaded the thoughts of it, but the whole holiday actually turned out great, and sharing with someone was brilliant. Having company for pretty much the whole week, and being with a group of people who were easy to get on with, coupled with my happiness in myself for managing to lose weight and look better, and it all just turned out to be a brilliant experience.


So, over time, i think I've gotten better. Today i weighed myself and rejoined my gym (my membership expired in early october, and i've managed to put on a lot of weight in the mean time). I look forward to trying to get rid of my massive ass, though, as always, will only use the gym at 6.30/7.am because I still don't like being in public places.


So although I still stand inside my front door for a few minutes before walking out, to kinda build myself up to deal with the potential people i may walk past or just be around on my journey, I do feel better.

I'm generally a happier person, though I do still have bouts of sadness here and there. I wouldn't say I am depressed anymore. I think that part of my life is (hopefully) behind me.



So, from my own experience, although i don't think depression was ever my biggest issue, and more of just a follow-on from a more serious mental illness in my life, that being social anxiety, i do think I have a good understanding of it (just to note, im not saying I think social anxiety disorder is a more serious issue than depression. I'm just saying for me, personally, it seems it was).



I would hope to be more comfortable in myself in the coming years. I'm 22 now. I know there's no magic cure, but I hope that by the time i'm 24 or so, I'll be more comfortable in myself and in the world around me. Just getting out of the house is my biggest issue these days.

Kiera wrote: »

I have actually. A very close family memeber is suffering from it at the mo. This is why i'm asking so many questions because i dont understand it and i want to just shake them and tell them to "cop on" but i know that wont work.

The first time I ever tried to explain how i felt to someone, they told me "that's a cop out!". That person, my brother again, actually, will now never be able to talk to me about any personal issues I may ever have. I will never, ever, forget or forgive him for saying that. I suggest that if you tell your family member to "cop on" you'll find yourself not talking to that person much more, if at all.


Now, I realise that i can only speak for myself, and everyone will be affected differently by depression. I needed to have my hand held through any new experience. I'm sure some people will react to "cop on" and maybe ultimately get better by people taking a hard stance on them, but it's an approach I would never, ever condone or encourage.

Without trying to sound over-dramatic, I'd imagine the hard, careless approach is what turns many a depression into a suicide.




Now. Boards and the internet in general knows FAR too much about me. So I plead, to anyone who reads this, that may actually know me in real life (it wont be hard to figure out); do not mention this post (or any subsequent related posts) to me. Ever.

Gracias.

francie81

Anytime I get down it would be when am idle because maybe am bored and I feel I should be doing something more with my life which am trying my damndest but my only problem is to push myself into doing things I want to do (walk the walk) in my life but I don't that would come across as depression?

Wolfe Tone

Kiera wrote: »

Ok fair enough. But why wouldnt it help to get out and do something to "try" take your mind off it? dont they say exercise helps depression and that?

I tried going to the pub a few times, doesn't work. Even worse going to a nightclub and seeing all the couples and stuff together, that gets me down, when usually it wouldnt. Stupid things like that would just piss me off tbh.


Would go to the cinema, but I don't want to go alone cause thats a bit weird.

Susannahmia

Kiera wrote: »

Ok fair enough. But why wouldnt it help to get out and do something to "try" take your mind off it? dont they say exercise helps depression and that?

Trying to act normal etc when you are simply unable to do so can be extremely frustrating and cause even more anxiety and distress. Its depressing because you see how you should be and are further reminded of everything you are missing out on etc.

I do agree though that exercise helps a lot but you cant just act like theres nothing wrong with you and hope it magically comes true. Its not that simple.

Novella

WindSock wrote: »

Going out doesn't necessarily take a persons mind off of it, it may even exacerbate the ill feelings.

Plus when getting out of bed to eat/shower feels like a chore, going out to actually do something is the equivalant of climbing Mount Everest.

Deleted User wrote: »

For anyone who suspects that they might be suffering from depression, would an agreeable route be to first speak to a counselor to help identify if they are and then possibly visiting a GP if both the counselor and the sufferer feel fit?

Some counselors would want a GP referral before seeing a patient. I'd suggest visiting a GP for a psych referral for an actual diagnosis, but I'm not an actual professional. That's just what I'd do, if I was living life over.

Princess Peach

MUSSOLINI wrote: »

I tried going to the pub a few times, doesn't work. Even worse going to a nightclub and seeing all the couples and stuff together, that gets me down, when usually it wouldnt. Stupid things like that would just piss me off tbh.


Would go to the cinema, but I don't want to go alone cause thats a bit weird.

Went alone once before, cause it was in America and nobody knew me! But I'm gonna do it next week, cause nobody wants to come see Tron with me!

Couples make me sad too

Novella

Novella wrote: »

Plus when getting out of bed to eat/shower feels like a chore, going out to actually do something is the equivalant of climbing Mount Everest.



Some counselors would want a GP referral before seeing a patient. I'd suggest visiting a GP for a psych referral for an actual diagnosis, but I'm not an actual professional. That's just what I'd do, if I was living life over.

Really? I wasn't aware of that. My only experience of counselors has been through the college.

Kiera

@KKV: I would NEVER tell them to cop on. I'm not that heartless. But it is what i feel sometimes when i'm watching them have a meltdown right in front of me and pacing the floors like they're trying to wear them out. Its so hard to watch and not know how to "fix" them. I get angry with them (in my head) because i say the same thing over and over in a 5 min conversation and it just wont sink in. BUT i will and have always kept my calm because i dont understand it and know that my harsh words could make them worse. Which my god, is the last thing i EVER want to see.

C_Dawg

When I got anxious I found things like leaving the house, going to work, going out made the anxiety so much worse. like social anxiety or agoraphobia. It resulted in isolation where the depression slowly brewed like a foul pot of sh!t tea.

Novella

Deleted User wrote: »

Really? I wasn't aware of that. My only experience of counselors has been through the college.

Oh, well if a person had access to a college counselor or whatever, I'm all for that.

Kiera, the next time you see them being like this, just say that they're not alone and that you're there for them. If it were me, I'd appreciate it so much, even if I didn't show it.

Darlughda

MUSSOLINI wrote: »

Would go to the cinema, but I don't want to go alone cause thats a bit weird.

Why on earth do you think going to the cinema alone is a bit weird?

Kiera

Deleted User wrote: »

Kiera, the next time you see them being like this, just say that they're not alone and that you're there for them. If it were me, I'd appreciate it so much, even if I didn't show it.

I did. I told them today to log on and read this thread. I dont know if they will but i hope they will. And if not i'll show them the next time they are in mine.

Wolfe Tone

Princess Peach wrote: »

Just tell her! My mother used to cry cause I just refused to talk to her, and wanted to be left alone and wouldn't talk about it or anything. My dad would come and tell me this and I would just half listen to him and tell him "grand" and then change nothing. Things are better now but I still don't talk to them about how I'm feeling. I do feel bad about how it makes them feel, like if I stay in my room all day my sister often thinks its cause I don't want to spend time with her.

If you think you can explain this to your family, do try! Cause I can't find the courage :P

Yeah, I just mutter, "Im grand" thats it..... I dont think I would be able to explain really, the father leaves me alone anyways.

Went alone once before, cause it was in America and nobody knew me! But I'm gonna do it next week, cause nobody wants to come see Tron with me!

Couples make me sad too

I wanted to see gullivers travels! May just download it. Ive never been just by myself, and I wouldnt be too keen on bringing any of the girls I like there either.

Yeah they do depress me sometimes. As gay as it sounds sometimes I would just like someone to hold or something.