Dan!

the keen edge

All those people who go around saying “Life begins at forty”. They're notable by their absence. The nerve.

ronnie3585

Have any of you seen the film The Crying Game? With the woman with the old tadger.

I suppose the sequel will have a man with, a fanny.

RichieC

Well Sonia, that was classic intercourse. So... thanks!

fontanalis

Bad quality but hilariuos
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JbgTKcDiiGo

Riddle101

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1QRlR0ctjNE

bonerm

"Smell my cheese, you mother!"

wolfmoon87

monkey tennis?

StereoLove

"Feck off cup"

paddylonglegs

Aldebaran wrote: »

"'Sunday Bloody Sunday'. What a great song. It really encapsulates the frustration of a Sunday, doesn't it? You wake up in the morning, you've got to read all the Sunday papers, the kids are running round, you've got to mow the lawn, wash the car, and you think 'Sunday, bloody Sunday!'".

the keen edge wrote: »

Discussing his love of the band U2 :- "Sunday Bloody Sunday. What a great song. It really encapsulates the frustration of a Sunday, doesn't it? You wake up in the morning, you've got to read all the Sunday papers, the kids are running round, you've got to mow the lawn, wash the car, and you just think 'Sunday, bloody Sunday!'.

Wow,weird.

I love brave people, Sir Donald Campbell... Evil Kinevil........Braveheart

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F0XV9-rLiu4

paddylonglegs

Stop rubbing ya fanny on me!

Dr. Baltar

The title and OP have scared me.

"Inner City Sumo": We take fat people from the inner cities, put them in big nappies, and then get them to throw each other out of a circle that we draw with chalk on the ground. Very cheap to make. Do it in a pub car park. If you don't do it, Sky will.

Jurassic Park!

Superbus

Knowing me, Alan Partridge, knowing you, the police; Ah-ha.

Red Hand

"...more water..."

"I'm so sorry, he's from Barcelona."

"How you doin'?"

"Ah wash mahself wiv a rag onna stick."

"Well, love to stay and chat, but you're a total b*tch."

"She's got a tongue like an electric eel and she likes the taste of a man's tonsils!"


There we go...

storm2811

You threw a monkey into the sea?!
Aye, he was trying nick me fags...200 duty free...he bounced of a rock first.

Just remembered I have both series recorded..back of the net!

dan1895

What?

paddylonglegs

Superbus wrote: »

Knowing me, Alan Partridge, knowing you, the police; Ah-ha.

Or as he's now known as - Sting!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y8LYiNv5CQE

Went to the trouble of posting this on youtube....enjoy

Sergeant

Golf:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YojpgewgAO0

Cycling:

Tesco Massacre

Ahhh, ladyboys.

take everything

0:37 in.

CHRIST'S CHIN! CHRIST'S CHIN!

Fringe

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5g2Jksk8WVE

bonerm

"Do these slang names hurt: Lesbos, Les-be-friends, Dykes, Bulldykes, Dick Van Dykes, Spare-Rib-Ticklers, Cat-Flaps, Pussy Footers, Knicker Pickers, Men, Backpackers, Tent-peggers, Trout fishers, Melon Farmers, Kwikfit Fitters, Baggage Handlers, Left Luggage?' "

Tesco Massacre

Crash! Bang! Wallop! What a video!

ronnie3585

I was clinically 'fed up'.

Standard Toaster

Alan: [Walking out the bathroom and interrupting] Michael, Michael, Michael, Michael. Come on, tell me about the ladyboys.
Michael: Oh, you mean those transsexuals? Aye, I seen them, but, you know, they’re disgusting I kept away from them.
Alan: Oh God, yeah, yeah. Fascinating creatures, though. Looks like a lady, but really it’s a man. I don’t find them attractive, it’s just confusing. I don’t suppose you’ve got any army stories about them?
Michael: I did hear about this corporal, right?

[Alan lies down on the bed, listening to Michael’s story, fascinated.]

Michael: And he’s in the third battalion this lad, but he’s right mean, OK? And he goes out in Bangkok, right? And all the prostitutes is comin’ up and saying "How much?", and he’s going "Oh I’m not paying that", right? And then this beautiful lassie comes up –

[While Michael tells his story, Lynn knocks on the door.]

Michael: – she’s gorgeous, man. And she’s half the price of the others. And they’re getting down to it –

[Lynn enters the room]

Michael: – he puts his hand up her skirt, gets a hold of the old meat and two veg, right? Thinks, hang on, I’ve paid my money, I’m going to have something, so he flips him over, and he fu-...

[Michael has just noticed Lynn, standing in the corner of the room.]

Michael: And funnily enough, it lands on its wheels, and it starts first time and they just drive away.
Alan: Strangest story I’ve ever heard. [Gets up] Oh, hello. Lynn. Oh! I see what you were… ah, right, yes. Hello, Michael was just telling me an army story about a friend of his who slept with… a landrover. Lonely nights in the desert.
Michael: That’s all fixed, now, Mr. Partridge. I’ll be on my way.
Alan: Right, OK.
Michael: [To Lynn, on his way out] Morning.
Alan: Just check, that wasn’t the real ending to the story, was it?
Michael: No.
Alan: You were just saying that because Lynn’s here?
Michael: Aye.
Alan: Right, fine.

petes

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RUzZD9NA90I