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Stuck in a bad romance!

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  • 31-12-2010 2:30pm
    #1
    mr.naut
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1 ✭


    Hello,

    I have never used a forum before but the threads i have been looking at are very good with great replies! I am a 24 year old gay guy, I only came out this year. Around 3 months ago I met this guy in the dragon, I gave him his number and the next day we started texting. He told me straight away that he was in a relationship but that it was at its end. I was not happy but said we could be friends, i have pretty much no gay friends to talk to so I was happy with this. As we got to know each other we started to fall for each other and sleep with each other. He reassuerd me that when his exams where finished in december he would come clean to his partner. ( i ended it several times but he askd me to wait until the exams where finished).at the start i felt very bad but i knew that him and his partner where only seeing each other a couple of months. I know now i was wrong to start seeing him as it was unfair on the partner. Basically what has happened now is that when the exams finished nothing happened so I dumped him, he then set everything straight with his partner. It was like he gave me everything I had asked for, he came to my family house stayed for a couple of days, has met my friends and family. We could enjoy our time as we should. His partner is not from ireland, and has nowhere to live but in this guys house. I think i am being played though, how can i trust him to live with his 'ex'. Can i ever trust him after what he has done to him? I REALLY like this guy but cannot relax now i am constantly worrying and stressing out! i cant even eat properly! any advice would be great?
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    #2
    Aard
    Registered Users Posts: 4,905 ✭✭✭Aard


    You say: "I know now i was wrong to start seeing him as it was unfair on the partner".


    That's not why it was wrong. It was wrong because it was unfair on you. You sold yourself short. If you think you can't trust him, then you probably can't trust him. Set the reset switch on this one, and consider it lesson learnt for next time: don't get involved with people already in relationships.


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    #3
    rainbow kirby
    Registered Users Posts: 26,928 ✭✭✭✭rainbow kirby


    Life is too short to deal with someone else's messed-up situation like this. There are plenty of other guys out there (who aren't already in relationships) who would be better for you.


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    #4
    stephen_n
    Registered Users Posts: 12,920 ✭✭✭✭stephen_n


    The most honest answer is, you can't trust him and more importantly you shouldn't. As was pointed out, why sell yourself short for someone who is not willing to give themselves to you. It may seem at the moment that you stand to loose a lot but staying because of that will probably deprive you of a lot more in the long run. You need to meet more people and move on with your life, give yourself the respect that he clearly isn't willing to!


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