Bisexual men

Mr. Loverman

Sardonicat wrote: »

I don't think you fully iunderstand the meaning of the term "straw man". if you did, you would refrain from resorting to them yourself.

You posted a link to a post i made, stating that it was proff that I was unaware of the risks of sleeping with bi-sexual men. You are the one conflating bisexuality and the prevelance of sti's. Anyone can get an sti if they do not practice safe sex.

I pointed out the fact that men who have sex with men are far more likely to be HIV+.

You interpreted this as me saying you personally have unsafe sex.

I never said that. Yet I am having to defend saying that.

That is why you are attacking a straw man.

I am sorry this is a sensitive issue for you but I think it is better everyone is aware of the increased risks. My posts are informative whereas you have attempted to refute/hide the increased risk.

Would you prefer I did not post the statistics? Why?

rainbow kirby

Sardonicat wrote: »

Anyone can get an sti if they do not practice safe sex.

Just going to emphasize this right here. It is the responsibility of both partners (regardless of sexual orientation) to practice safe sex.

Mr. Loverman wrote: »

I pointed out the fact that men who have sex with men are far more likely to be HIV+.

You interpreted this as me saying you personally have unsafe sex.

I never said that. Yet I am having to defend saying that.

That is why you are attacking a straw man.

I am sorry this is a sensitive issue for you but I think it is better everyone is aware of the increased risks.

You've made your point. No need to keep hammering on.

Pembily

Statistics can be used to show whatever you need them to show... They may not 'lie' as such but can be portrayed to show numbers however you need them to be!?

Ickle Magoo

Well, if they weren't before, everyone on this thread certainly is aware that safe sex should be practised now - so can we get back to original topic please.

ztoical

Sardonicat wrote: »

I understand the rissks of anal sex. but all we know about this guy is that he is Bi. Not all men who sleep with men engage in anal sex. Also, this is not an excusively man on man preference either.

I was simply replying to the comment about why assume higher risk for STI's for certain groups. Regardless of wither people like it or not the CDC and other medical groups would consider Bi males a high risk group. As for why it's relevant to this thread as someone else was asking it is because Irish people in general have a very much "doesn't happen here" attitude when it comes to STI's that frankly needs to change. Just look at the number of posts in PI with people freaking out about unprotected and their main focus is always pregnacy.

Girls are far more likely to claim or identify as Bi without actually having any history of physical relationships with women then a man is likely to identify as bi and never have had a physical relationship with another man. For a while it became fashionable [and bloody annoying] for young women to say they were bi but if you dared show them lady bits and suggest they touch they'd run a mile.

In answer to the OP of the thread in general I wouldn't have an issue with dating someone who identified as Bi as someone who has dated both genders but if as implied here all I know is that they are bi and no other details what so ever then I would not engage in a sexual relationship. Same answer would be given if the bloke was straight and all I knew about him was that and nothing else.

pastry2010

I personally don't think I could, My best friend went out with someone who was Bi- and it was a bit of a rollercoaster, and they broke up then he started dating a friend of them both - a male, it really turned her world upside down. It did make me thing - I don't think I could handle that!Theres only 1 thing worse for a girl and a guy leaving them for another girl is terrible but leaving them for a guy is worse!Only my opinion tho!

NoseyMike2010

I always thought you are gay/bi if you are the receiver.

Actually if you are a blood doner .... are you not suppose to give blood if you have slept with a gay/bi man? or if your a guy who has slept with another guy??

I have never fully understood why a guy who has slept with another guy can't give blood??

Sardonicat

NoseyMike2010 wrote: »

I always thought you are gay/bi if you are the receiver.

Actually if you are a blood doner .... are you not suppose to give blood if you have slept with a gay/bi man? or if your a guy who has slept with another guy??

I have never fully understood why a guy who has slept with another guy can't give blood??

I don't understnd what you mean by your first sentence.

Yeah, you are right about the second point.

NoseyMike2010

I was probably a rude prick!! If you are the receiver I always thought it meant you were gay. Me being stupid i guess.

The blood thing is true. I am sure I read it last time I donated.

rainbow kirby

Actually, labels are based on self-identification and attraction rather than behaviour - for this reason, the label "MSM" - "men who have sex with men" is used in the literature rather than "gay" or "bi".

Sardonicat

NoseyMike2010 wrote: »

I was probably a rude prick!! If you are the receiver I always thought it meant you were gay. Me being stupid i guess.

The blood thing is true. I am sure I read it last time I donated.

Receiver of what?

Mr. Loverman

Sardonicat wrote: »

Receiver of what?

I think he means the penis.

NoseyMike2010

penis!

:rolleyes:

Sorry i am digging a hole for myself here :o

Sardonicat

It's about who you are attracted to erotically and romantically.

Ickle Magoo

Posts deleted - can I ask that posters take the time to read the charter before posting and point out After Hours is a far more suitable forum for silly posts, lolcats, innuendo, etc.

Many thanks

Eve_Dublin

AnneElizabeth wrote: »

First of all: Are you sure she doesn't know? And is he genuinely bi? If so..

No I'm not sure she doesn't know but she's never brought it up. It's only a guess. A gut instinct. Yeah, he's genuinely bi. What's genuinely bi though? Sexuality is so grey and murky.

What you SHOULD do is tell him you do not feel comfortable knowing something which you are not allowed to tell her. He's making you be a bad friend to the girl by asking you to keep that secret. He has no right to do that.
Tell him that he has to tell her the truth, he's being unfair to her and you.

I probably should do that but I won't. I don't want to stir ****t. It's none of my business and he's done nothing wrong. We don't know each other and as someone said, is it really an issue if he plans to be with her for the rest of his life?

That way you are not being a bad friend to her and he is being honest with her. And you don't have to get involved

I think it's up to him to decide when to tell her...ideally before they get married though.

(And before anyone says it's mean - no it's not - it's the right thing to do. If she'd have no issue with him being bi then why not tell her. And if she would have an issue with him being bi - then she has a right to know. How humiliating would it be for her if everyone (including her friends) knew he was bi except for her).

I've done a lot for this girl, she's my best friend in the country I live in but I'm not sure if this is the right thing to do. They're both 40, they're adults....I could come out looking like the bitter single friend trying to sabotage the relationship.

x Purple Pawprints x

Interesting thread OP.

To be honest, if I was seeing a bisexual man it wouldn't bother me in the slightest. Someone's orientation doesn't matter as long as they are committed to the person that they're with at the time. I know a few people that are bi and it's not at all true that they are more promiscuous than heterosexual people. That's one of those stereotypes that is completely untrue.

Vinta81

No, I wouldn't.

Up-n-atom!

I've never been with anyone who's bi before, but I wouldn't like to think it would turn me off if I met someone I liked...think some of my friends would find it weird though, so probably wouldn't tell all of them about his preferences...

A bi(female) friend of mine dated a bi-dude for ages, he wasn't at all 'gay' - he was quite nerdy actually! Was no way you could tell his sexual preference just by looking at him. Don't think you'd potentially be dating a less 'manly' guy just because he found other men attractive.

candy-gal1

Whats wrong with that?! everyones bisexual to a certain extent imho. Plus being "cheated" on by a guy with a guy is a whole lot better than your guy cheating with a girl. Id prefer it, as long as there are no secrets or going behind peoples backs, and everyone in the relationship is fine with it, same sex is fine tbh.

caseyann

candy-gal1 wrote: »

Whats wrong with that?! everyones bisexual to a certain extent imho. Plus being "cheated" on by a guy with a guy is a whole lot better than your guy cheating with a girl. Id prefer it, as long as there are no secrets or going behind peoples backs, and everyone in the relationship is fine with it, same sex is fine tbh.

No not everyone is bi even it is in your honest opinion. And no cheating on you with male,female,cat,dog is all the same.Its cheating and lying and misleading.
Are you just saying that because you cheat on your men with women and want to be free of guilt? :eek::D Because you are saying cheating is a whole lot better than him doing on you with a girl you would rather guy,but then say all out in open so how would it be cheating if you know? :P

starlit

No never have. I'd be open to going out with a guy who is bi so it be something different from having to deal with men who act like boys.

TheNewMee

snuggles285 wrote: »

No never have. I'd be open to going out with a guy who is bi so it be something different from having to deal with men who act like boys.

I don't think there's any particular reason to think that bisexual men are any less likely to 'act like boys' than heterosexual men.

x Purple Pawprints x

candy-gal1 wrote: »

Whats wrong with that?! everyones bisexual to a certain extent imho. Plus being "cheated" on by a guy with a guy is a whole lot better than your guy cheating with a girl. Id prefer it, as long as there are no secrets or going behind peoples backs, and everyone in the relationship is fine with it, same sex is fine tbh.

I would have to agree with you when you say that everyone is bi to a certain extent to bo honest. I have to ask though, why would it be better to be cheated on by a guy with a guy? In my opinion cheating is cheating.

RonFan

Being Bi as a male is very different from being bi as a female. Men's same-sex relationships differ to their opposing-sex ones far more than female's do. Females can be bi-sexual in the true sense of the word, meaning they can have romantic and sexual attractions towards both sexes. Men on the other hand, can have sexual attraction to both sexes, but only true romantic attraction to one or the other.

So if he is straight but also sexually attracted to males, there should be no problem whatsoever. But if he is romantically attracted to men, i.e. acts camp, I would strongly advise women to not pursue a relationship with him as he is not truly interested and will be incapable of loving you in a romantic way.

candy-gal1

caseyann wrote: »

No not everyone is bi even it is in your honest opinion. And no cheating on you with male,female,cat,dog is all the same.Its cheating and lying and misleading.
Are you just saying that because you cheat on your men with women and want to be free of guilt? :eek::D Because you are saying cheating is a whole lot better than him doing on you with a girl you would rather guy,but then say all out in open so how would it be cheating if you know? :P

No i mean without the lies and misleading, if a guy wants to be with a guy and asks you first if thats alright then its definitly a whole lot better than cheating with a girl. Im not a guy, he has me already and he wont be with another girl, imho it hurts a lot more if its a girl as its cheating for the same thing and why would you do that really?!

pow wow

It wouldn't be my first choice, no.

28064212

RonFan wrote: »

Being Bi as a male is very different from being bi as a female. Men's same-sex relationships differ to their opposing-sex ones far more than female's do. Females can be bi-sexual in the true sense of the word, meaning they can have romantic and sexual attractions towards both sexes. Men on the other hand, can have sexual attraction to both sexes, but only true romantic attraction to one or the other.

Completely incorrect. Women can very easily have sexual attraction to both, and romantic attraction to only one. Men can have romantic attraction to both. I dare you to post that opinion on the LGBT forum, see how long you'd last

RonFan wrote: »

if he is straight but also sexually attracted to males

... :pac:

RonFan wrote: »

But if he is romantically attracted to men, i.e. acts camp, I would strongly advise women to not pursue a relationship with him as he is not truly interested and will be incapable of loving you in a romantic way.

So romantically attracted to men = camp? What an utter load of bullshit. There are plenty of camp men who are romantically attracted to women. In fact, there are even camp men who aren't attracted to men in any way (shock horror!)

28064212

candy-gal1 wrote: »

No i mean without the lies and misleading, if a guy wants to be with a guy and asks you first if thats alright then its definitly a whole lot better than cheating with a girl. Im not a guy, he has me already and he wont be with another girl, imho it hurts a lot more if its a girl as its cheating for the same thing and why would you do that really?!

Ok, firstly, it's not cheating if he has permission, it's just an open relationship. So what you're actually saying is that you're ok with him having "just sex" with a guy, but not with a girl? Seems silly. If you're ok with just sex, what does it matter what gender the other partner is? If you're worried about him developing a relationship with the other partner, it's as likely to happen with a guy as with a girl

cdaly_

I'd be inclined to think candy-gal1`s thesis here is that he'll get the girl-stuff from her and no other woman but that it would be ok for him to get the boy-stuff elsewhere because that's something she can't give him.

Now whether that would incur the risk of him becoming emotionally involved with somebody else is another thing...

Dravokivich

This is probably a bit late, but from what I've seen before of a similar relationship.

A guy I used to work with was engaged before and was out(for want of another way to put it) as Bi. Now I'm not suggesting that this could occur for all Bi men, but he became very obsessed with the idea of being sexually involved with another man.

His fiancé ended up breaking the engagement because she felt uneasy with him and couldn't be sure of his commitment to her.

But even then, this would be an issue to consider when getting involved with someone regardless of orientation. It's a matter of what the pair of ye want from the relationship.

cailinalainn1

Hey OP..

I did! Well I didn't know at first!
Was with this guy 2years and then one night, drunk, he told me he thinks he's bisexual. He was 22 at the time, said he was only realising it now. Had never been with a guy, was happy with me etc etc. Picked a bad time to tell me, I had a massively important next day which he knew I was really stressed out about. He told me via phone in the wee hours of the morning and then proceeded to fall asleep, therefore not answering/texting back. So tbh, I freaked! Didn't know what it meant for us; (at that stage he literally had only said "I think I'm bi", then fell asleep. Funny now but I was so upset at the time, didn't sleep at all that night, my important day was a disaster.
When I finally saw him that evening, we had a massive row. From my point of view; I know he was drunk but he did not need to tell me in the middle of the night, knowing the day I had ahead of me. He never apologised for this, didn't think it was an issue. Blamed me for not immediately accepting him being a bisexual. My concerns were regarding our relationship; was it gonna change, did he still love me, what did it mean for us. Please note I have both gay and bi among my friends, I've absolutely no prob with it.
We broke up about two months later! He continued to blame me for not accepting it that night, saying I was too narrow-minded!
So I don't think it would matter, I wouldn't mind dating a bisexual, but if your OH doesn't already know you're bi and you want to tell them: It will probably come as a surprise to them so PLEASE be considerate; put some thought into the time and place of the telling!

Ickle Magoo

RonFan,

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