To Christen or not to christen

cram1971

After many years of trying myself and my wife are due are first child in April.

Both myself and my wife are non practicing RC and are debating this christening issue. At the moment both of use are taking the side of not christening in the immediate future.

We have a major problem with the institution and not the religon.

I do not want this thread turned into that debate,

Our main issue is to do with schools getting the chilld into schools and issues once in schools

We would be interest in feedback from people with real life experiance in this area, teachers parents and friends of parents.

Thanks

Nevyn

Getting yor child into the 'local' school is only an issue if the school is over subscribed.
If that is the case then those applying are ranked according to the criteria set down in the school's enrollment policy.

I had no issues enrolling my son (who is not baptised into catholicism ) in the 'local' school which happens to be patronaged by the catholic church, when it came to my daughter the fact she had a sibling in the school counted towards her being enrolled.

Having your child be the only non christian child in the class can have it's issues,
it will depend on much the religious ethos of the school permeates it. This will vary from school to school. yes over the years we have had issues and been placed in situations we should not have been due to the way the school has been run, but by preparing your kids and you can teach them to cope with the questions when they happen.

Have a look at what your local schools are, get in touch and ask for a copy of thier enrolment policies, is there and Educate Together school in the area?
If there is not is there are start up? Many areas have parents who set about getting an Educate Together school up and running in their areas for thier kids.

http://www.educatetogether.ie/et-experience/educate-together-locations-2/

Dades

As suggested, unless there is a particular RC run local school that you really like - and which you think might be oversubscribed - then don't bother with baptism.

If you don't have options with schools - don't shoot yourself in the foot I suggest. If you get any inkling that your best or only school option are likely to pick the baptised kids, then get the splash.

RIRI

As posted by others we did not christen the small man & had no trouble getting him into the local "RC" school, just put the child's name down as soon as you can if it is a school you particularly want him/her to go to

In my childs class of 33 there are at least 7 other kids who are not RC's (including our son), so it is quite ok not to "partake"

Certainly, if you or the other parent practice their religion by all means it is appropiate to have such a ceremony, in your case, in my opinion (& it's only my opinion) it is not.

Good luck with the pregnancy & brith & don't stress about this whatever you decide

All the best

RIRI

lynski

I huge reason for not christening in the RC is that they can't leave now, there is no official way out, so would you sign your child up for any other club (young FF or SF anyone?) they would be considered members of for the rest of the their lives?

smokingman

Friend of mine baptised his two kids into protestantism just to get them into the best school in the area. He was RC himself but stopped believing in fairy-tales long ago and religion is as irrelevant to him as the price of butter in Mongolia. He did what he thought was best for his kid and won't actually be bringing them up in any religious ethos whatsoever.

Dades

lynski wrote: »

I huge reason for not christening in the RC is that they can't leave now, there is no official way out, so would you sign your child up for any other club (young FF or SF anyone?) they would be considered members of for the rest of the their lives?

Irritating and childish as this latest change to canon law is, it doesn't matter in reality if only the church think they have you.

There is a census coming this year - that will offer the truest (though still very flawed) indication of the religious demographic. If you mark "no-religion" on the census for you and your kids, what the church believes is irrelevant. The state bases it's policies on the census results.

stimpson

I was happy to get our son christened for the purposes of school, as I would have liked him to go to the same primary school as I did (which would be over-subscribed). The missus take on it was that it was OK to do it if I was prepared to go the whole nine yards and bring him to mass every Sunday, teach him about the religion etc. In the end I saw her point, and to be honest, it would have been hypocritical to say to him "This is what I say you must believe in, even though I don't believe myself". Luckily for us there is a choice of excellent ET schools in our area, so he's on the list there.

I guess, at the end of the day it comes down to the options you have regarding schooling, and you have to do what you believe is best for your child.

Sleepy

My stepson was baptised RC by his Dad's side of the family and currently attends the local COI school.

My daughter wasn't baptised and will, hopefully, be attending the same school (<15 kids to a class!).

BTW: there is no such thing as a 'non-practicing Catholic'. Within Catholic canon, you either believe everything that the Pope tells you or you're not a Catholic. The closest thing I can think of to a non-practicing Catholic is someone who believes everything the church says (including the bits about women-priests being as bad as paedophiles, wine literally turning to blood, condoms being evil, Sunday Mass being obligatory etc.) but is living in a "State of Sin" by not practicing what they believe in... Like most Irish "Catholics", I suspect you're more likely to fall into some more general category of Christianity.

Irish_Elect_Eng

I would say that unless you feel very strongly, then the christening falls into the 'no harm' category and offers a ceremony to celebrate the arrival of the child and their acceptance into the community in general.

When it comes to communion etc. your child will want to know why they are different from their friends etc. When it comes to the serious discussion about religion and other life-views it may be more appropriate to have these discussions with a slightly older child

my 2c.

Humans eh!

If you live in a rural area its much more problematic, My partner and I are Aethiest but baptised our two children so as not to limit their chances of getting into a school. (our local school demanded baptism certs). Think of it as donning a disguise to enable the child to blend in with the rest.
(Religious ninja)
Sadly the church (RC) still has its grubby fingers in a few pies and many of the population are content to let them
As for not being able to opt out... who gives one?
I can say that if you reply to or thank my post then you are "In my Club" and you can never leave.
Will this affect your life in any way... No.
You are who you are in your own mind and your conscience cannot be owned by anybody despite their insidious efforts.
Use the church for what it can do for you,
they've been at for millenia.

we'llallhavetea_old

hi op,

i christened my daughter and i regret it. my daughter is six now and in senior infants. this year i told the teacher that she will not be taking part in religion, i didn't get the religion book etc. there has been no problems at all for my daughter, her teacher notifies me before there is a school mass so she can skip it, she made sure it was ok for my daughter to take part in the nativity play etc. none of the children have bullied her or anything, they said she was lucky she didn't have to go to mas :P

i regret having her baptised because it was completely unnecessary and it just cast doubt in my mind about whether i was doing the right thing rearing my daughter non religious. if i hadn't have had her baptised i, would have been more decisive and less wobbly about the whole thing.

maybe thats just me but if i could, i would go back and undo it.

cram1971

Thanks guys for the input

I guess I am falling between the 'No Harm' and leave it up to the child to decide anyway it not a decision we have to make for a while yet, baby isnt due till April

Thanks again.