ACCESS AND MAINTENANCE

rambutman

Seperated from ex-wife of 7 years last summer. Prior to this we'd been living together but couldn't really say we'd been together in 2 years, i.e. sleeping in seperate beds etc. We have 2 children and up to xmas she'd been letting me see them at the weekend no problem and I'd been paying the rent and giving her 850 euros a month and paying all bills and taking the kids out at the weekends and paying for their food and entertainment. If an unknown expense came up like the car broke down I'd pay that too. In November I met someone else and just before Xmas my wife (I'd like to call her my ex but in the eyes of the law she's my wife) found out and went bananas. A terror campaign ensued for xmas with her calling myself and every one of my family telling us we'd never see the kids again. This ended with her throwing a brick through the window of where I was staying, stealing some stuff and assaulting my new partner (with the children present). Garda called etc, etc and the option to press charges are there.
Anyway...................my point is.....she's totally refusing me any access to see my children.....and is making demands for maintenance in the region of 3500 euros per month (including the rent 1200 per month). She also has my laptop, desktop computer, and other stuff belong to me which she refuses to give back.
So.............
a) How do i go about applying for access to see my children.
b) How is maintenance assessed
c) Is there anyway I can go about getting my stuff back

racso1975

Hi i cant offer you any advice but would like to offer you my support. Sounds like a horrible situation especially for the kids who are obviously missing their dad and witnessing their mam losing it. I really do hope it works out for you and it say's an awful lot about your wife if she is denying her kids their daddy. Just out of interest the 2 years you spent in seperate rooms, was that cause you hoped things would work out or were you stayin their for the children and did they ever ask questions about the seperate rooms?
Really hope you get to see them soon.

ElleEm

I'm really sorry to hear about your situation.
Contact Treoir, they are very helpful for people in your situation and will give you facts.
www.treoir.ie
1850 252 084

rambutman

Thanks for the help

I don't know why I stayed TBH.........scared of going through the messiness of what is now happening. I failed to add above my wife is indonesian and she spent a lot of time emotionally blackmailing about leaving the country with my children if I left her..............and at the time I didnt know that as i have automatic guardianship through marriage she could not do this. She knew and knows i didn't love her but didn't really care - she wanted me there anyway one way or the other. At the time I thought i could get through life in a loveless marriage and was prepared to sacrifice my own happiness for the sake of my childrens happiness...........but i've since realised that when one's not happy this starts to have effects on their life and I often found myself drinking too much and argueing a lot with her. In the end i realised this was not a good example to set my children as a life lesson and that if ones situation is un-bearable it is up to them to do the tough stuff and change the way their life is going. I don't care anymore how much she tries to hurt me but I hate seeing this going on in front of my children. I've had one conversation with them (on the phone) since this has happened and she spent the whole time whispering in their ear and they'd say things like "Daddy we hate you" and then she'd whisper again and they'd go "Daddy we hate your girlfriend" and stuff like this. TBH even when all this gets sorted i don't know what sort of a relationship i'm going to have with my kids if they're getting poisoned against me the whole time. I wish she'd consider their state of mind and try and shelter them from this

Yllut

rambutman wrote: »

Seperated from ex-wife of 7 years last summer. Prior to this we'd been living together but couldn't really say we'd been together in 2 years, i.e. sleeping in seperate beds etc. We have 2 children and up to xmas she'd been letting me see them at the weekend no problem and I'd been paying the rent and giving her 850 euros a month and paying all bills and taking the kids out at the weekends and paying for their food and entertainment. If an unknown expense came up like the car broke down I'd pay that too. In November I met someone else and just before Xmas my wife (I'd like to call her my ex but in the eyes of the law she's my wife) found out and went bananas. A terror campaign ensued for xmas with her calling myself and every one of my family telling us we'd never see the kids again. This ended with her throwing a brick through the window of where I was staying, stealing some stuff and assaulting my new partner (with the children present). Garda called etc, etc and the option to press charges are there.
Anyway...................my point is.....she's totally refusing me any access to see my children.....and is making demands for maintenance in the region of 3500 euros per month (including the rent 1200 per month). She also has my laptop, desktop computer, and other stuff belong to me which she refuses to give back.
So.............
a) How do i go about applying for access to see my children.
b) How is maintenance assessed
c) Is there anyway I can go about getting my stuff back

Get yourself a Family Law solicitor and go from there as soon as she hears from your solicitor she will soon control her temper.
Start writing your journal and record everything in it no matter how small.
Get the names of the Guards that were there. Best of luck I have been there.

Klingon Hamlet

Contact your local Free Legal Aid Centre as you would be entitled to free representation considering your massive expenses, assuming your net income is 18k p.a. after tax and reasonable expenses. Solicitors are v expensive.

Also, best of luck:)