Giving up alcohol can damage your health

tunguska

I'm playing devils advocate a bit with the title there, but I read an article in the daily mail yesterday by Laura Topham and it made my blood boil. Heres the link:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1344486/New-Years-resolution-alcohol-detox-destroyed-life.html


The general jist of it is...........Woman(30 I think)gives up alcohol as part of an new years detox kick. All good so far. But then she says that her friends and family grew increasingly angry and frustrated with her("We dont want boring sober Laura - we want fun drunk Laura"). She goes on to say that because she wasnt drinking she ruined lots of holidays, weddings and nights out in general. After a while she decided the best option was to stop socialising and going for nights out completely because it was too difficult to cope with drinking. This, she says, led directly to her becoming physically ill. Went to the doctor, doctor tells her that its not healthy to give up alcohol and so he tells her to start drinking again. Which she did, coming to the overall conclusion that alcohol = happiness, no alcohol = unhappiness.

Im trying my best to be open minded here and see things from another perspective but no matter how diplomatic I try to be I cant help coming to the same conclusion about this article: Its the biggest load of crap I've ever read. I cant believe somebody could be so ignorant. I think she started off by doing a brave thing by giving up the booze. But the reaction of her friends and family was probably the worst part of it all. Instead of offering support they basically turned on her. And in the end she cracked and capitulated to peer pressure.
The thing is shes not alone. I have a friend who comes from a very religious family. She didnt drink for a long time, she stuck to her beliefs, all the while hanging out with people who did drink. No problem there. But I met her one night after having not seen her for ages and she was drinking and smoking. It wasnt pretty. I asked her why had she all of a sudden become a drinker? Her response at first was a bit vague but as I pressed on her on it she finally admitted that she couldnt handle being around people who drank anymore without becoming one of them. The constant "go on just have one drink" pressure just wore her down. I do have sympathy for her but at the same time I think she should've been stronger. But its a cultural problem. I dont think this wouldve happened in America or in Italy, france, etc.

Anyway, back to the subject at hand: What do you think of that article? Is it madness or does it make sense to you? Cheers

cantdecide

‘Extremism is a very bad thing,’ says *psychologist Andrew Richardson.

This is the crucial statement in the article but I think this will be lost on the writer.

This is just like a lot of people with addiction issues. IME, people like this can turn hill-walking, orogami, surfing, knitting or tiddly winks into something negative. Swinging from one extreme to another and expecting things to remain the same.

On top of that, she sounded like a very obnoxious non-drinker. What she should learn from her experience is that you can't project yourself on others, She mentions 'Often I argued my case, leaving an awkward atmosphere'. Non-drinking 101: avoid raising the issue.

She was doomed to failure given her personal mania and arriving at the inevitable conclusion is only an opportuniy to preach to willing recipients.

In short: the writer went extreme drinking, through extreme non-drinking and finished up with extreme anti non-drinking.

Sunnyisland

Here are my thoughts: There is a difference between "Not Drinking" and "Rebuilding Our Lives in Sobriety". not drinking is only the first step. It takes months, and even years of consistant Alocohol Free time along with deep personal work to truly begin to live with the tools that bring the stability and contentment that was lacking in our lives.
If only putting down alcohol would make us; smarter, thinner, younger, richer and more beautiful after a few weeks or months! If only all of life's problems and pain would simply go away once becoming sober! Alas...this is not the reality! But, given time we do develope healthier and far more useful tools in dealing with Life. We also stop the self destructive behaviors, such as ruining friendships, driving drunk, destroying families, making wrong choices and eventually ruining careers or jobs.Thats just what happened me anyway.

languagenerd

In all honesty, it's the Daily Mail so it was never going to be a coherent argument :rolleyes:

But reading it, it seems that it wasn't so much the non-drinking that caused her issues but that she was over-the-top about it. Insisting on going home early and leaving parties first - what the hell does that have to do with drinking or not drinking alcohol? It also sounds like she was making a big deal about the fact that she'd stopped drinking, no wonder people were getting annoyed. I don't drink but I'd never go on about it with people who are drinking or preach at them!

It also sounds like her friends were assholes though! Most of my friends don't care what I'm drinking, it shouldn't be an issue. If they only her when she's drunk, I'd say that means she needs new friends...

The article is totally misleading. The giving up alcohol wasn't the main problem. The doctor didn't tell her not drinking would harm her health, he/she(?) said being uptight, stressing yourself out and giving up socialising could adversely affect mental health.

As if non-drinkers needed more bad press!

CDfm

When did non drinking become boring and personality less.

I stopped drinking and went out more and not less.

There is a thread running in the Gentlemans Club about Drink and Sexual Performence

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2056145234

KiLLeR CoUCh

She sounds absolutely insufferable tbh. Since when did not drinking = going home early and dragging your partner with you. I can understand that when she didn't drink she got tired more quickly and enjoyed herself less as the nights wore one. I get a bit like that myself sometimes. But when I'm not feeling it any more I just head home, no big deal, I certainly wouldn't drag my OH along with me, he's entitled to stay out as long as he wants and drink what he wants.

unreggd

Scarlih for her

Why did she even bother givin it up if she's an anti-non drinker herself

She was prob an alcoholic, went cold turkey, and crashed

Same with others here, not drinking has made me way more outgoing, adventurous, and social

I have great pity that the majority of society genuinely believe they're boring people without booze

tunguska

Some interesting posts there, thanks everybody. What I think was going on with that journalist was similiar to a situation I've seen before with a girl I knew who had a weight problem for most of her life but then through hard work managed to lose the weight. You would think the people around her would be delighted for her when she shed the bulk that had plagued her and had made her life difficult for years. But they werent. Instead they reacted badly, they made catty comments behind her back, they said she had "changed" and wasnt the good old, up for the laugh, person she was before she lost the weight. Now to me, somebody who knew this girl but who wasnt very close to her, I couldnt believe what her so called friends were saying. To me I saw a person who felt better about herself, seemed more happy, but who was essentially the same person at her core. What I think was, these people were so used to the girl who lost weight being overweight and being a certain way, that they didnt like it when she changed her physical apperance. Here was someone who had improved herself through hard work and that kind of forced those close to her to look at themselves and their own shortcomings. And in general people do not like to be reminded about the ways that they dont measure up. So instead of applauding her and supporting her, her friends turned on her in order to protect their own fragile self esteem.

And I think thats what went on with the woman in the alcohol article. She did something brave, went against all the social programming about the way people are supposed to be. But then her friends turned on her because she had improved herself in a way they never could, or never would attempt. And the only way they could rationalise something like that was to get defensive and try to make out as if what she was doing was somehow wrong. But she caved in the end. She just wasnt strong enough to stand on her own two feet and do her own thing regardless of what others thought of her. She cared too much about the opinions of those around her. Because she would have had to come to the conclusion that maybe they werent such great friends after all, which would then force her into a position where she would have to make new friends, which is a difficult thing to have to face. So she made up some crap about not drinking damaging her health and slotted back into the role her friends and family were comfortable with.

CDfm

she sounds like a right lula to me

Icarus28

This isn't really an article about detoxing; it sounds like this woman needs to see a therapist. It strikes me that this she has blamed alcohol for a loss of some of her friends but judging from her article she appears to have wholly changed her behaviour towards them and isolated them as her 'drinking' friends (i'm sure they will be over the moon to hear that she has stereoptyped them as this in this article!) I doubt her being teetotal wasn't the sole reason for them not being friends anymore. She sounds like she made a big deal of it, leaving parties early, avoiding going out etc. Loads of people don't drink and we still go out and have fun together, alcohol involved or not. The article suggests she has much deeper/personality issues that perhaps affect her relationships and friendships.

It's a totally irresponsible article- typical Daily Mail!!

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The Daily Mail... therein lies zee problem.