10 illegal baby names!

af_thefragile · 13-01-2011 4:42pm #1

They've been banned from around the world apparently...
http://uk.lifestyle.yahoo.com/family-parenting/10-illegal-baby-names-blog-3-yahoo-lifestyles.html

Or for people who can't be bothered to click or on their telephones:

This week the Pope declared war on parents naming babies after celebrities, fruit or popular sports cars. In an address to parents, the ever-progressive pontiff pleaded with worshipers to 'give your children names that are in the Christian calendar'. So Apple, Brooklyn and Ferrari are out, Francisco and Giulia are in.

But Benedict's not the only authority figure to stamp down on one of the sillier by-products of celebrity culture. The following names have all been banned around the world for reasons of taste, decency or just plain daftness.

1) Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii (New Zealand)
New Zealand law bans names which could cause offence to a 'reasonable' person. Good thing too - the country is a stupid name hotspot. We found a couple from the islands who tried and failed to call their son '4Real', but nothing beats the ridiculous moniker above. It belonged to a 9-year-old girl before a judge had her renamed during a custody battle. 'It makes a fool of the child,' he said. It certainly made application forms a pain in the butt.

Has New Zealand banned any other names? Oh yes. The judge listed some that were also blocked: Fish and Chips (twins), Yeah Detroit, Keenan Got Lucy and Sex Fruit. Number 16 Bus Shelter and Violence were allowed.

2) Venerdi AKA 'Friday' (Italy)
Maybe this is what the Pope was talking about. Back in 2008 a court banned an Italian couple from calling their child Venerdi (translation: Friday). The judges reckoned the name - taken from 'Robinson Crusoe' - would expose the boy to 'mockery' and was associated with 'subservience and insecurity'. The parents, however, might have the last laugh; they threatened to call their next child Mercoledi (Wednesday).

Has Italy banned any other names? Italian courts can step in 'when the child's name is likely to limit social interaction and create insecurity'. In Turin, Andrea was rejected (and changed to Emma) as it's a boy's name in Italy. Dalmata has also been rejected, as it means Dalmatian.

3) Brfxxccxxmnpcccclllmmnprxvclmnckssqlbb11116 (Sweden)
No, we didn't fall asleep on the keyboard. That is an actual name a Swedish couple tried to inflict on their son back in 1996. Apparently the name is pronounced 'Albin' (we're not sure how), and the parents chose it as a protest against Sweden's admittedly strict naming laws. Tax authorities must give their blessing to both first and surnames before they can be used.

Has Sweden banned any other names? Oh yes. Some favourites include Metallica, IKEA, Veranda and Q. Google was OK though.

4) Gesher AKA 'Bridge' (Norway)
Back in 1998 those nasty Norwegians threw a woman in jail (admittedly for only two days) when she failed to pay a fine for giving her son an 'unapproved' name. Eccentric Kristi Larsen said she was instructed in a dream to name her son Gesher (Hebrew for 'Bridge'), but the court were having none of it. Kristi did have 13 children already though, so maybe she had just run out of ideas.

Has Norway banned any other names? Undoubtedly, though in recent times they have replaced their list of officially sanctioned names with a general ban on monikers featuring swearing, sex and illnesses.

5) Chow Tow AKA 'Smelly Head' (Malaysia)
Unlike many countries which are gradually relaxing name laws, Malaysian authorities have cracked down on unsuitable titles in recent years. In 2006 government killjoys published a list of undesirable names that weren't in keeping with the religious traditions of the country – such as Cantonese moniker Chow Tow – which means 'Smelly Head'.

Has Malaysia banned any other names? Lots more Chinese efforts such as Ah Chwar ('Snake'), Khiow Khoo ('Hunchback'), Sor Chai ('Insane'). Malays should also steer clear of Woti, which means 'Sexual Intercourse'.

6) @ (China)
With more than a billion fellow countrymen, finding a unique name in China is difficult. Perhaps that's why one couple called their baby the '@' symbol – in Chinese characters it apparently looks a bit like 'love him'. Bless. Unsurprisingly, however, the authorities were less sentimental and publicised the moniker as an example of citizens bringing bizarre names into the Chinese language.

Has China banned any other names? The police have control over all names given to children because they issue identity cards, but details of rejections are not widely circulated.

7) Miatt (Germany)
Country living up to stereotype alert! Surprise, surprise the Germans are somewhat officious when it comes to baby naming laws. Regulation-loving Deutschland has an entire department (the Standesamt) which decides if names are suitable. Miatt was rejected because it didn't clearly show whether the child was a boy or a girl, but sometimes the decisions are somewhat arbitrary...

Has Germany banned any other names? The likes of Stompie, Woodstock and Grammophon were turned down, whereas the similarly strange Speedy, Lafayette and Jazz were allowed.

8) Anus (Denmark)
What is it about Scandinavian countries and name laws? The Danes are even tougher than the Swedes in this regard, with parents given 7,000-odd names to choose from by the government. Special permission is needed to deviate from the list, with ethnic names, odd spellings and even compound surnames forbidden. Luckily for him (we assume it's a 'he'), Anus was one of 250-odd names rejected each year.

Has Denmark banned any other names? Well, Pluto and Monkey had lucky escapes...

9) Ovnis (Portugal)
Before naming your child in Portugal, best consult this mammoth, 80-page government doc (and have it translated to English) that tells you which names you can and can't use. It's pretty strict (and random) – Tomás is OK but Tom isn't – and celebs can forget about the likes of Apple and Brooklyn, which aren't even on the banned list. Essex girls rejoice, however – Mercedes is allowed!

Has Portugal banned any other names? There are more than 2,000 names on the reject list, including Ovnis - Portuguese for UFO.

10) Akuma AKA Devil (Japan)
Here's a name the Pope definitely wouldn't approve of. In 1993 a Japanese parent called his son Akuma (which literally means Devil). The authorities decided this was an abuse of the parent's rights to decide a child's name and a lengthy court battle ensued. Eventually the father backed down and junior got a new, less demonic name.

Has Japan banned any other names? Lots. Names must use one of the 2,232 'name kanji' characters decided by the government.

So can ye guys think of any better names to name your baby?
And by better you know what I mean!

Penn · 13-01-2011 4:45pm

God

antodeco · 13-01-2011 4:47pm

Boards.ie Beers

13-01-2011 4:48pm

Barrington wrote: »

God

Why not? People call their children Jesus (pronounced hey-zeus), so why not call your child God and say it's pronounced Göd or some-such.

sensibleken · 13-01-2011 4:50pm

I always wanted to give my kid an irish name. I was thinking...Timpiste

Kimono-Girl · 13-01-2011 4:50pm

****me,

it would be hilarious though calling out her/his name in public!
even boards won't allow it

phasers · 13-01-2011 4:52pm

Didn't a couple who named their child Adolf Hitler have the kid taken away from them?

Penn · 13-01-2011 4:52pm

Deleted User wrote: »

Why not? People call their children Jesus (pronounced hey-zeus), so why not call your child God and say it's pronounced Göd or some-such.

Hey! Thou shalt not take the name of God in vain!

davetherave · 13-01-2011 4:53pm

antodeco wrote: »

Boards.ie Beers

Naming a kid after it's place of conception....nice and classy :P

FreudianSlippers · 13-01-2011 4:54pm

So the pope doesn't want my name to be Oisín? Well **** him.

13-01-2011 4:55pm

Barrington wrote: »

Hey! Thou shalt not take the name of God in vain!

Nah, that's far too long a name to give to someone.

af_thefragile · 13-01-2011 4:57pm

Barrington wrote: »

Hey! Thou shalt not take the name of God in vain!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MIaORknS1Dk

clived2 · 13-01-2011 4:57pm

Kimono-Girl wrote: »

****me,

it would be hilarious though calling out her/his name in public!
even boards won't allow it

Could you imagine the games of Cluedo

Fuck me with the candlestick in the kitchen

SoulTrader · 13-01-2011 4:59pm

OisinT wrote: »

So the pope doesn't want my name to be Oisín? Well **** him.

You just gave away your real name! :eek:

awesom_o · 13-01-2011 5:00pm

Going to a gaelscoil for 15 years, I have encountered some odd irish names that shouldn't of been allowed.

Sneachta (snow)
ocras (hunger)
:cool:

seriously.

FreudianSlippers · 13-01-2011 5:00pm

SoulTrader wrote: »

You just gave away your real name! :eek:

lol it's actually all part of my elaborate plot to destroy someone else's life tbh.

13-01-2011 5:02pm

awesom_o wrote: »

Going to a gaelscoil for 15 years, I have encountered some odd irish names that shouldn't of been allowed.

Sneachta (snow)
ocras (hunger)
:cool:

seriously.

Someone called their child sunglasses wearing blue smiley?

Dravokivich · 13-01-2011 5:05pm

This week the Pope declared war on parents naming babies after celebrities

Even the celebrities with normal names such as Tom, Michael, Christian..?

prinz · 13-01-2011 5:07pm

Actually this funny because I noticed one recently. If you watch the credits at the end of the movie Fargo, you'll notice one of the actors just has a squiggly symbol instead of a name on the credit list.

Found it

Personal Quote:As far as the Artist Formerly Known As Prince symbol lying on its' side with a happy face in the middle, in the credits: "I'm the storyboard artist formerly known as J. Todd Anderson. That's all I can say about that." It's a private joke between J. Todd and the Coens. Prince and the Coen brothers are both from Minneapolis. (Dayton Daily News: 3/22/96)

Dionysus · 13-01-2011 5:08pm

af_thefragile wrote: »

They've been banned from around the world apparently...
http://uk.lifestyle.yahoo.com/family-parenting/10-illegal-baby-names-blog-3-yahoo-lifestyles.html

Or for people who can't be bothered to click or on their telephones:

So can ye guys think of any better names to name your baby?
And by better you know what I mean!

Talk to somebody in their 60s or 70s and they'll probably be able to tell you about people whom the Catholic Church wouldn't baptize because their parents wanted to call them old Irish names which didn't belong to Roman Catholic saints. Hence, in families you'll still find people called by their Irish name by everybody but officially recorded on their baptismal certificate under the name of an English language saint. Crazy.

greenbicycle · 13-01-2011 5:10pm

this article names Mingus as a name someone called their child in ireland last year, MINGUS!!!! horrific name!

http://www.irishtimes.com/newspaper/ireland/2011/0110/1224287158379.html

KnifeWRENCH · 13-01-2011 5:16pm

Whoever tried to call their child Sex Fruit is a legend!

Some of them are ridiculous, obviously, but I don't see why Gesher and Miatt are problems. Even the Italian one that means Friday; ok it's strange but not exactly offensive or anything. Somet countries just have no sense of humour.

krudler · 13-01-2011 5:17pm

I now really,really want to call my first born son Akuma. what an awesome name

jimthemental · 13-01-2011 5:37pm

davetherave wrote: »

Naming a kid after it's place of conception....nice and classy :P

Copperfacejackssmokingarea, eat your vegetables!

rainbowdrop · 13-01-2011 5:58pm

There a two little traveller girls (sisters) who live near me, called Mariah and Shakira.

Always thought that was bad but some of these names are waay worse. MINGUS:eek: ffs why would anyone want to put their child through the horror of having that name?

*500 posts! w00t:D

iamstop · 13-01-2011 5:59pm

All my sprogs are going to be named after rare earth metals.

True story.

List:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rare_earth_element#List

Napper Hawkins · 13-01-2011 6:12pm

Nobody will mess with "Joe Kick Ass". :cool:

DeVore · 13-01-2011 6:17pm

I'd be the only Tom in Portugal.... thats quite simply, bonkers.

DeV.

amacca · 13-01-2011 6:19pm

greenbicycle wrote: »

this article names Mingus as a name someone called their child in ireland last year, MINGUS!!!! l

Minge, minge his mammy calls him Minge!

ah ha, Mingus the Mercilessness etc etc, I can hear the schoolyard chants now, let the psychological scarring begin.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-1BJfDvSITY

kelle · 13-01-2011 6:20pm

LOL at Fish and Chips!

I came across gorgeous little twins called Pinkie and Perkie - I assume their parents were fans of the cartoon pigs of the same name! I'm aware they're now in their 20s and wonder how they feel about their names now.

3hn2givr7mx1sc · 13-01-2011 6:30pm

Napper Hawkins wrote: »

Nobody will mess with "Joe Kick Ass". :cool:

Kick Joe Ass if you say it in a 'homie' voice.:P

13-01-2011 6:36pm

There's an article in todays Guardian by a lady who has kinda accidentally fallen foul of this "stupid name" phenomenon.

Link

For those too lazy to click.....

Has the pope's secretary synchronised diaries with Victoria and David Beckham? The pontiff's timing is certainly pretty good these days. On the day that the Beckhams confirmed they are expecting their fourth child, he urged parents to give their children Christian names: "Do not give your children names that are not in the Christian calendar".
Studies show that the urge to give children unique names is on the rise. The desire to stand out has caused more and more celebrities to name their child after inanimate objects and cities, from Peaches to Apple to Paris to Brooklyn, Beckham's eldest son. "Me human, you thing" seems to be an important message celebs are keen to pass on to their offspring. And more and more of us common folk are following the trend.
You might have already clocked from my byline that I have a personal perspective on this subject. Based on my own experience, I can prove that it is perfectly possible to survive in the modern world if you are named after a thing: my name, Mercedes Bunz, reminds everyone of a certain Stuttgart-produced marque of car. And to all the kids out there who share my fate, I say: while it is no fun at school, you'll learn to keep an interested face when you hear the same jokes again and again and again. For a conversation starter, it's as good as the weather.
As it happens, I got my name by complete chance, and not a result of a hippy phase in my parents' life. I was born with a different surname and only became a Bunz when my mother remarried. Mercedes, of course, is a perfectly common Spanish name.
What's in a name? Well, quite a lot. The trend for unusual names seems to reflect the values of a society in which it is more important to stand out than to fit in. Parents obviously don't trust their children to stand out on their own terms, and instead feel the need to push them into the limelight, regardless of whether they want to be there or not.
So perhaps the pope has a point. In some countries, including the pope's place of birth, the state goes to some lengths to protect children from overambitious parents. Denmark, Spain, Portugal and Argentina publish lists of acceptable names parents must choose from, Portugal has even banned names, including Lolita, Maradona and Mona Lisa.
The situation is similar in Germany and Austria, the countries in which I grew up. As a statutory duty the first name must indicate the sex of the child, and the name must be a "name", ie not a place or an object. There are ways to trick the state, of course. German parents can refer to celebrity offspring's names in other countries as proof that a certain word is recognised as a name. That way, a former colleague of mine was for instance able to name his child "Berline".
At the same time, sticking closely to the Christian tradition does not immunise children from unusual names. A friend of mine, born under Austria's comparatively strict name-regulation laws, has a very Christian name: Luzifer.
These days, expecting parents should perhaps spend less time browsing the Bible than the net. The Google question is important: should your child be traceable by a search engine, or should you ensure their privacy? Luzifers are easy to find online; Olivers and Olivias, currently the top two places in Britain's annual ranking of baby names, are less so.
Eric Schmidt of Google recently suggested that young people should be entitled to change their identity at some point, to escape a misspent youth. Maybe this would also be a good way to rectify our parents' faux pas. As governments are increasingly storing biometrical data on our passport, maybe they should give us back a bit more flexibility with our names?

Ash.J.Williams · 13-01-2011 6:40pm

a classic

A Swedish court has ruled that the parents of a seven-month-old girl in KungÃ€lv, Sweden can name their child Metallica, according to the Swedish newspaper GP.
The girl's parents wanted to give their daughter a name that combined their first names. After picking Metallica and checking twice with the Swedish tax agency Skatteverket if the name was acceptable, they were told that it shouldn't be a problem since there is already a girl in Sweden called Metallica.

CrazyRabbit · 13-01-2011 6:45pm

I've always thought that 'af_thefragile' was a terrible name for a boy.

Funkfield · 13-01-2011 6:55pm

Where I work I deal with a lot of people from all over the world.

Met a guy from Singapore called Batman. Another called Superman.

Twins from Romania called Princess and Diana.

Also, Filipino twins called Princess Leia and Princess Beia. (Their dad is a massive Star Wars fan).

admiralofthefleet · 13-01-2011 7:05pm

terry

minidazzler · 13-01-2011 7:12pm

Kimono-Girl wrote: »

****me,

it would be hilarious though calling out her/his name in public!
even boards won't allow it

Yeah, and then when the child is like 5 he gets scarred for life when you shout out Fcuk Me to whoever you are shagging at the time!

af_thefragile · 13-01-2011 7:45pm

CrazyRabbit wrote: »

I've always thought that 'af_thefragile' was a terrible name for a boy.

Its from days when i was a big NIN fan and thought their "The Fragile" album is probably the best music album ever created.

If i had to chose now it'ld probably be Crimson King or Close to the Edge...

sensibleken · 13-01-2011 7:48pm

How about Afterbirth Senior

faceman · 13-01-2011 7:52pm

For a long time in Ireland it was very difficult to name a child Wendy.

Isn't Ferrari a real name tho?

darragh16 · 13-01-2011 7:53pm

Some couple in Qatar named their daughter Fifa, two days after the World Cup was given to them.

Lol26 · 13-01-2011 7:54pm

SoulTrader wrote: »

You just gave away your real name! :eek:

I think his username name kinda gave it away......:eek: Cute name tho!!

OutlawPete · 13-01-2011 7:55pm

Willie Leak.

Chinasea · 13-01-2011 8:00pm

"Shanika, I'll be dug outa ye!"

af_thefragile · 13-01-2011 8:03pm

faceman wrote: »

For a long time in Ireland it was very difficult to name a child Wendy.

Isn't Ferrari a real name tho?

It is. The founder of Ferrari was Enzo Ferrari.
Same with most car companies. They're named after the people who founded the company. Bentley, Rolls Royce, Mercedes (named after the founder's daughter i think), Lamborghini, Bugatti, McLaren, Porsche, Renault, Honda, Citroen etc.

In fact there are few car companies which aren't named after their founder. Jaguar, Land Rover, Fiat, Alfa Romeo, BMW, VW, Audi and a few more I cant think of now...

Up-n-atom! · 13-01-2011 8:04pm

I used to work with a guy from Latvia whose name was pronounced 'anus'. Not sure how it was actually spelt.

af_thefragile · 13-01-2011 8:06pm

Up-n-atom! wrote: »

I used to work with a guy from Latvia whose name was pronounced 'anus'. Not sure how it was actually spelt.

Better than Dick Seamen I suppose...

FloatingVoter · 13-01-2011 8:11pm

Duncan Jones (director of "Moon") was originally christened Zowie by dad David Bowie. Mr. Jones Snr. was on a lot of drugs at the time.

timewilltell · 13-01-2011 8:13pm

phasers wrote: »

Didn't a couple who named their child Adolf Hitler have the kid taken away from them?

Yep, they'd named their other kids Aryan Nation and Hinler.
It's here..

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/2009/01/13/2009-01-13_report_child_named_adolf_hitler_removed_.html

And now..off too feed little Saddam and Osama.

Irish_Elect_Eng · 13-01-2011 8:17pm

If you want a good read on naming children there is a chapter in "Freakanomics" dedicated to why parents name their children as they do. If I remember it has to do with their aspirations for their children.

So perhaps the recent trend for using Irish names was our generation projecting a latent desire to be able to speak Irish or have tighter ties to our more traditional culture through our children.

af_thefragile · 13-01-2011 8:25pm

Irish_Elect_Eng wrote: »

If you want a good read on naming children there is a chapter in "Freakanomics" dedicated to why parents name their children as they do. If I remember it has to do with their aspirations for their children.

So perhaps the recent trend for using Irish names was our generation projecting a latent desire to be able to speak Irish or have tighter ties to our more traditional culture through our children.

What if you name him Hugh Bellend?

10 illegal baby names!

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