When is it time to say goodbye?

Plek Trum

Hi all - looking for some advice / opinions on the below please..

My very close in-laws have a beautiful dog (lab mix) who is now 16 years old. She is such a HUGE part of their lives and the town where she lives, everyone know her, adores her. She has such a beautiful personality and a loving pet.

She has aged alot lately. Last year she was hit by a car - nothing dramatic, car was slow enough, but enough to shake her. Her sight and hearing are deteriorating and unfortunately her hips are going and is incontinent.

She is no longer able to get up the stairs to the family home, sleeps in a hallway - heated with clean beds, plenty of food and lots of interaction during the day with family and public alike.

She has had two epiosides lately where her legs have 'gone' from under her and we have had to carry her from the street back into the house. She has been on propylin syrup to help with the incontinence and over the last 2 - 3 years, the vet has given her steroid injections to help her hips.

Its so sad to see her this way and extremely hard to know what to do. Last week she had what looked like a stroke, carried into her bed and couldnt move, yet the next day she was up barking and went for a slow stroll outside, fine as ever! Today again, her legs went, she couldnt move, yet after 20 minute rest she got up and went outside for a sniff and a look around.

Does anyone have any opinons on what should be done - is it 'that' time?
Its impossible for the family to call the decision - when we think that she has reached the end she turns around fine and heads out the door for a stroll!

Any advice and opinions welcome.. thanks.

seamus

Personally, I think it's a crime to call time on any dog who is still happy. If the dog still wags her tail and gives a greeting when she sees people, is eating properly and doesn't appear to be in constant pain, then I don't see the harm in carrying on.

It's when you know in your heart that you're carrying on because you can't face it, despite the dog being miserable, that's the time to say goodbye gracefully.

Plek Trum

Thanks Seamus - yes, she seems in good form herself, although shaken and bit scared when she camt get up. She wags the tail, enjoys her 'rubs' and doesnt seem to be in any pain.

Family have diligent system of washing and rotating her beds so she is well minded, but the majority of the time she is constantly leaking or cant get up to go outside to the toilet.

They live in a rural town on a main road - the main fear is that her legs will go one day crossing the road and she will be killed that way, which she really doesnt deserve.

I guess monitoring the situation is the way to go - she is happily unaware of the turmoil around her :rolleyes:

Dinky22

Your in-laws are really wonderful. They love their dog as part of their family and are caring for her every need. She does not appear to be in pain. The thing that would concern me is her crossing the road. They would really need to watch her as it would be terrible for her to be killed unnecessarily. When she is being cared for so well and does not appear to be in pain I don't feel it is time to put her down by the vet. I think your in-laws will know when the time comes to say Bon Voyage.

cjf

When I was in similar situation a few years ago my vet told me that my dog would let me know when it was time and he was so right! One evening just sitting at home and she looked right at me and that was it I knew it was time! Its the hardest decision ever and my girl had her good days and her bad days but I made the decision before it got so bad. Felt as thou if I let her go downhill to the point of having only bad days it would be selfish of me as I would be making her live in pain just so I could have a few more weeks/ months with her. Its been about 4 years and I still get upset over her!

Its such a touch decision but if you keep an eye out the dog will let you know when its time.

is_it_time

Hi Plek Trum. I posted a few months ago to ask exactly the same question. No matter how ill they are, as soon as you see a little glimmer of the dog you know and love, you feel like it's too soon to put them to sleep. Our dog had always been extremely active, but in the last few months, could hardly go around the block anymore. He'd get stuck on the ground too, not being able to lift himself up. He woke us up 3 times a night to be let out, if we didn't wake up, he'd wet himself. We decided last monday that it was time to put him down. The vet was amazing with him. Kept him calm and wrapped him in a blanket. Poor old Panda was gone in 2 seconds, as if he was finally able to rest.

We had been talking about getting a second dog years ago but felt it was unfair to him as he was getting old. Within a few days of him passing, we started looking at puppies as the house already felt empty. We bought a new pup on Sunday and although I'm still very much grieving for Panda, it's obvious to me now how ill he really was. Seeing a young dog makes you realise just how un-dog-like his life had become. It's also a relief not to wake up every day thinking you're going to find your dog dead or dying.

It was the hardest decision I've ever had to make, and I was sure I'd regret it. But I can honestly say that I don't. He had the most wonderful 16 years and we owed it to him to let him go. I have never cried like I did last week when he was gone, but I feel relieved for him now and can enjoy remembering the good times.

Hope that has helped in some way. No one can tell you what to do, but at least you can hear from someone who's just gone through it.

Discodog

I have always erred on the side of euthanasia in the sense that if I have doubts which way to go. Dogs can be very stoic. Just because a dog wags it's tail or appears happy it may still be feeling pain. Our human nature is to leave it as late as possible. I just want to be sure that I am doing my best for my dog & not for me.

Vets will tend to want you to make the decision. Good Vets, like mine, will be totally honest & tell you what they would do if it were their dog. At the end of the day the dog is relying on you to care for it. It's about quality of life.

My Saluki had a breast tumour removed & whilst the stitches were still in we found a second tumour. My first instinct was to avoid her having to undergo more surgery & avoid any risk of pain especially as the second tumour had appeared within a week. My Vet said that she would go for removing the second tumour which turned out to be good advice as it was benign.

Plek Trum

Thank you all so much for taking the time to reply - I'm going to show the thread to them and I know it will bring them much comfort and direction. Really appreciate your stories and opinions... thanks. x

Jinxi

I can't agreed with the opinion if they are waggin their tail they are ok. Putting a dog to sleep has to be about waht is best for them. If they are having strokes, cannot sleep where they used to, cannot climb the stairs, cannot move freely with out pain, I would be of the mind, they no longer are enjoying their life as they know it. I think when a house trained dog loses control over their bowels and bladder indoors they feel ashamed/bad.
if it was my dog Plum I would have her put to sleep, and it would hurt, but not as much as the thought that I had let her suffer for an instant, physically or emotionally

sligopark

cjf wrote: »

When I was in similar situation a few years ago my vet told me that my dog would let me know when it was time and he was so right! One evening just sitting at home and she looked right at me and that was it I knew it was time!

this just broke my heart

luvdogs

i can relate so much to this, im coming up to a time with my 15year old where i`ll have to decide!! at the min his good days outnumber the bad and the bad days hes more confused and weak rather then pain etc...hes happy rambling round the garden playing though sleeps a lot more (i`ve put an oil radiator right beside his bed in his room lol) but i think when i know that the "spark" has gone...then its time.
i`ve done this with a very terminally ill young dog before as well and for her last weeks shw was totally spoiled getting all the treats she shouldnt, like macdonalds etc till one day i looked at her and knew she`d had enough, she was very tired and although there were glimpses of the old her...i let her go before the old her was all gone.
totally broke my heart but it was the right thing, if id waited till she was so so ill...id`ve waited too long and i owed it to her not to let her suffer!