Wednesday Funnies

MonkieSocks

Two cowboys are out on the range talking about their favorite sex positions.

One says "I think I enjoy the rodeo position the best."

"I don't think I have ever heard of that one," says the other cowboy. "What is it?"

"Well, it's where you get your girlfriend on all fours, mount her from behind, and reach around and cup her breasts in your hands.

Then you whisper in her ear,

'Boy, these feel just like your sister's,' and then try to hold on for 8 seconds."

_____________________________-

A little boy and girl are playing in a sandbox.

The little boy has to go to take a pee and he was told by his mother to always be polite and don't talk about private matters in public.

At first he holds it in for a little while because he does not know what to say to the little girl to excuse himself.

Then he remembers what his Mom had said at the restaurant to excuse herself from the table.

So he turns to the little girl and says,

"Will you excuse me I have to go powder my nose."

And saying that he leaps out of the sandbox and runs to the washroom.

When he comes back the little girl looks up at him and asks,

"Did you powder your nose?"

"Yes," said the little boy stepping back into the sandbox.

"Well then," says the little girl,

"You'd better close your purse because your lipstick is hanging out."

__________________________________________

A man was walking down the street when he noticed his grandfather sitting on the porch, in the rocking chair, with nothing on from the waist down.

"Grandpa, what are you doing?", he exclaimed.

The old man looked off in the distance without answering.

"Grandpa, what are you doing sitting out here with nothing on below the waist?", he asked again.

The old man slowly looked at him and said,

"Well, last week I sat out here with no shirt on, and I got a stiff neck.

This is your grandma's idea."