Stressed & Upset over incident at work!

LegacyUser

Folks It would be good to get some feedback, perspective (especially on anybody who manages people or who works with a large workforce).

2 nights ago I left my work station to go to the ladies. ( I go to the ladies round the same time everynight). A work mate ( in a different section) stopped me to say hello. I stopped briefly to ask him about his recent holiday (nomal interaction on our factory floor). I then became aware the acting manager was watching me intently (he was about 15 meters away) so I continued on my way to the ladies.
This particular manager has a reputation for not having any people skills. He is pretty gruff and hassles people. There had actually been an incident the previous day involving another member of staff and it was reported to his superiors!

Me I am pretty sensitive, have been the victim of bullying in the past (dealt with it), diligent worker ( some work mates give out to me for this saying ya won't get any thanks you know!). Normally I avoid conflict, I would be a pretty intuitive person and recognize
" bullying types" immediately so avoid any dealings with these types. It's my only way to avoid getting stressed or upset.

Last night I left my work section to go once again to the ladies. I told one of the guys over the work area that I would be back shortly. I timed myself and it took 6 minutes between leaving and arriving back at my work station.
The acting manager called me aside on my return and said “he wanted a word with me”. He then said you are not to leave the work area without reporting to the manager. I told him that I had said it to "Joe Blog" (who was also over the work section) that I was leaving. He proceeded to repeat you say it to me!!! I just listened and nodded. He then said that I was NOT to use that particular ladies toilet but another one as it was closer (not true!). I felt very angry and stressed and could not articulate my thoughts at that very minute in time. I freeze in such situations!

Then when I was going on my tea break he said don’t forget to come back to the work area. I had every intention of coming back though I kept walking as I didn’t want to confront him. He called me . I said “I heard you”. then he ran after me and said excuse me don’t ignore me when I’m taking to you. I said I’m going on my break ( I was feeling very intimated and was worried I would say something to him I would regret). He then said to me that “ignoring somebody was a form of bullying”.
I got very alarmed and felt it was some sort of veiled threat. On my break I become very upset. Had to ring my OH at home.

There had been a incident regarding this person earlier in the week and I know he was reported to his superior.

I finished work last night and was just so stressed and upset. I didn’t sleep till 5.30am this morning and am feeling a little depressed today.
The work mate I was talking to told me to report it as he said I'm a wittness and saw him watching you intently. Another friend said just play ball with him!

I'm really feeling very upset over this and would appreciate some thoughts and advise.

Ickle Magoo

Moved from PI - think you'll get better advice here, OP.

Best of luck

Naikon

The guy sounds like a bit of a tool tbh. Just acknowledge him in the most brief and lackluster way possible. A simple "I acknowledge this concern, bye now!" would do. Infact, if it was me in that situation, I would actually laugh at him/her and just walk away. If you are breaking rules, fair game, but otherwise just them him to stick it. Don't let yourself be intimidated by people op.

wmpdd3

This sounds really really odd. I would bring it up but who are your options? HR, other manager?

You could just put it to HR as a question, as in 'I have always done this, is there a new procedure in relation to toilet breaks'?

You could approach it by asking for HR's view on the fact the person mentioned bullying to you. Just say you are worried that this person has taken you up wrong. Put everything that's happened out in the open and nip it in the bud. Use the notes you have here and bring them with you as what you have said above is relatively objective.

Say you didn't want to go tho the manager as you think they have taken you up wrong. If you have a strong work history behind you I can't see a problem.

To some people, this may seem a completely trivial matter, but you seem sensitive and it is effecting you so you have to get to the end of it.


But remember HR is there to protect the company from HR issues.

Naikon

wmpdd3 wrote: »

But remember HR is there to protect the company from HR issues.

Correction, HR exists to protect the company from it's employees. People don't go near HR generally unless it's for something bad. HR is a souless sector to work in imo.
"Employee enrichment" and other nonsense is a guise to give meaning to the work of the metaphorical debt collectors of the working world. Don't approach HR unless they
approach you over some issue.

OP, this really is a non issue, just forget about the incident. It's quite likely that far more stressful and difficult situations will arise in the future to overshadow this sporadic incident.
Not trying to be a prick here, but honestly, just forget about this and move on. It's not a big deal. Consider this small incident practice for potential upcoming issues. **** happens.

Shelflife

Op i think that this is a storm in a teacup, you a sensitive type in trying to avoid conflict may have given your manager the impression that you didnt respect him and the "i heard you" as you walked away was in his eyes a form of dissent.

he appears to have trouble asserting his authority hence the "tell me when your leaving your position and which bathroom to use" senario.

i would just follow the rules that he has laid down for a while and ignore him as best you can, play to his ego a bit and i would imagine that he will settle down.

id say thats he just felt that his authority was undermined when all you wanted to do was avoid a scene. poor management skills on his part more than anything else.

tenchi-fan

There will always be worms like that. You are taking it far too personal.

Ignore what he said about which toilet to use.

Next time he gives you an order when you're on your break, acknowledge it with a nod and a smile, or smile and give him the a-okay sign. If he tries to lecture you, tell him you're on your break and you'll discuss it with him afterwards.

LegacyUser

What an idiot.Horrible mean-minded little man. I feel sorry for you OP, being the sensitive type myself. I do think the best thing to do is to let it go if possible, and just try and avoid him.

Seriously, how do people like this get to positions of power? And is it really in his power to tell you what toilet to use??Sounds way over the top.

Pineapple stu

( I go to the ladies round the same time everynight). A work mate ( in a different section) stopped me to say hello. I stopped briefly to ask him about his recent holiday (nomal interaction on our factory floor).

The chap could have a point if you keep leaving your work station around the same time every night. Plus the fact that you kept walking while he was trying to talk to you and may not have heard you answering him. How many time during your shift apart from normal breaks would you be away from your work station .? Toilet breaks and smoking breaks . What the chap saw was you talking about non work related issues and then disappearing for a bit.
He may not have good people skills like you say but going by the opening post it sounds like you have over reacted based on your dislike for the said person or being scared of him.
"Me I am pretty sensitive" It may have a lot to do with it.