Boards.ie guide to stereotyping cars

mondeo

My mate was looking at my new tweety bird hanging from my rear view mirror and she thought it was deadly. I got distracted and pulled out in front of a SAAB with my 01' silver punto and caused them to screech to a hault. They looked very angry and pointed at the traffic lights. I didn't see it was red because I was looking at my mate, it's not my fault the big gee bag had a bleedin fit at the lights :mad:

Victor Meldrew

Sofiztikated wrote: »

Every car that has a different set of wheel to standard alloys is automatically a knacker wagon, and they all go around drink driving, beating up kids and clubbing baby seals.

LMAO

colm_mcm

Noah fitted a 1.9 TDI to the ark for extra shove

For Forks Sake

colm_mcm wrote: »

Noah fitted a 1.9 TDI to the ark for extra shove

You could fit more animals in the boot of an Octavia though

Eric Cartman

fiat 500s never devalue ever :rolleyes:

I drive 5000km a year so im trading in my 07 yaris and buying a new diesel megane to save money, I plan to keep it out of warranty because nothing will go wrong with a renault after that.....

How can I commercialise a landcruiser and how many minutes after the vrt inspection can I put the back seats in

I have insurance on my car but I took a car my mate stole with no tax or nct and a loud exhaust through the middle of dublin to buy weed, F*ckin facist gards for stopping me , how can I get out of it

Im 17 and im gonna buy an evo and put it in my ma's name and be a named driver , smartest cúnt alive, no gard or insurance company will ever cop on....:cool:

The NCT failed me because I have no brakes and my airbags dont work ever since I put my recaros in , how do I solve all this with 0 money

the 320d is BMW's most sporty and exciting car...

Im a 21 year old girl with daddys money should I get a mini , fiat 500 or figgaro , eww a ford focus may be reliable and cheaper but its not cute

I drive a 1.4 litre car, everyone who drives anything bigger is a cúnt and killing the enviroment, I hate SUV's theyre ruining the planet and all cars modified in any way or even with tinted windows are driven by drug dealers

pajo1981

A Ford Focus is more reliable than a Renault Megane.

dr.fuzzenstein

For Forks Sake wrote: »

You could fit more animals in the boot of an Octavia though

But only the Toyota Landcruiser will be able to wade the ocean.

dr.fuzzenstein

pajo1981 wrote: »

A Ford Focus is more reliable than a Renault Megane.

That's just a fact.

pajo1981

dr.fuzzenstein wrote: »

That's just a fact.

Yes, a boards 'fact'.

Eric Cartman

I know nothing about cars so Im just going to be a grammer kike and tell people we dont have 'road tax' or get on my high horse and condemn everybody for going 1km over the speed target

dr.fuzzenstein

pajo1981 wrote: »

Yes, a boards 'fact'.

Hope the new ones are better, but I've had a Megane and several Foci and I know which one of those fell apart, broke driveshafts, ate suspension components for breakfast and which was a Focus.
Our company had Meganes as fleetcars, 20% of them where out of action at any one time, changed to Focus and Mondeo, one bootlock stopped working and two earthstraps came loose.
Other than that it was chuck oil and filters in 'em and they keep on going.
Must have driven 6-7 Focuses since '04 (between company cars, rentals and my own) and never had any serious malady with them.

mfceiling

The Toyota Carina

These facts may or may not be true


All of them came in maroon or dark blue
Every farmer in ireland was required by law to own one
Toyota never made spare parts for them - never needed
Every person in rural ireland got a lift home from the pub/disco in one along with 7 mates at least twice in their lives
Optional extras included - empty lucozade bottle on passenger seat, magic tree air freshner, 2 inch layer of dust on dashboard
Seat covers only ever could be fitted on the drivers seat
The carina never overtook any vehicle...ever

Plug

mfceiling wrote: »

The Toyota Carina

These facts may or may not be true


All of them came in maroon or dark blue
Every farmer in ireland was required by law to own one
Toyota never made spare parts for them - never needed
Every person in rural ireland got a lift home from the pub/disco in one along with 7 mates at least twice in their lives
Optional extras included - empty lucozade bottle on passenger seat, magic tree air freshner, 2 inch layer of dust on dashboard
Seat covers only ever could be fitted on the drivers seat
The carina never overtook any vehicle...ever

Ha Ha I likes.

dr.fuzzenstein

mfceiling wrote: »

The Toyota Carina

These facts may or may not be true


All of them came in maroon or dark blue
Every farmer in ireland was required by law to own one
Toyota never made spare parts for them - never needed
Every person in rural ireland got a lift home from the pub/disco in one along with 7 mates at least twice in their lives
Optional extras included - empty lucozade bottle on passenger seat, magic tree air freshner, 2 inch layer of dust on dashboard
Seat covers only ever could be fitted on the drivers seat
The carina never overtook any vehicle...ever

Don't forget that they where by law required to have a Padre Pio sticker and a St Anthony medal.
Removal of those would be the only things on earth that would cause the car to stop running and to this day are NCT failures on them.
Solemn Novena stickers where optional extras.

mfceiling

dr.fuzzenstein wrote: »

Don't forget that they where by law required to have a Padre Pio sticker and a St Anthony medal.
Removal of those would be the only things on earth that would cause the car to stop running and to this day are NCT failures on them.
Solemn Novena stickers where optional extras.

Also forgot to add

Every taxi driver had to have one - regulator stated law
Against the law to clean the inside of them - punishable by jail term
Key was held together with superglue
Never needed to be locked - ever
All church car parks were obliged by law to have one parked there on a sunday morning with the drivers window fully down
Radio used to come on automatically for the news
When bought from new the carina was only supplied with 3 wheel trims

squod

Vin Diesel will drive a '98 corolla in the Fast And The Furious 5

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4PspF_GA-9U

The Shark

I drive an Avensis, My Licence was given to me in the post 30 years ago so I didnt have to do the test.
I use a roundabout however I like with no regard for lanes.
I give you that biggot eye every time you pass me out.
I Have a Shrine to the GAA in the back window.
I Have no Idea about Motoring hertage and only bought it because the corrola packed in after 500,000 miles,
Sure the dealer is A neigbour of Aunty Marys down the road.
You will sometimes see me in the overtakeing lane of a motorway doing 70kmph,
And I wont budge for no man.
Its a posh car alrite its a 09 !

*I dont actully drive one*

opinion guy

pajo1981 wrote: »

A Ford Focus is more reliable than a Renault Megane.

Jesus I'm beginning to have trouble telling fact from fiction at this rate!!!

high horse

BMW - Indicators are an expensive option which almost nobody gets when they buy one

Fey!

high horse wrote: »

BMW - Indicators are an expensive option which almost nobody gets when they buy one

This posters back is almost broken from all of the forum users who keep climbing up on him. Pretty soon he'll only be fit for the glue factory!

colm_mcm

The passenger side and rear windows of my toyota stopped working

Plug

My car won't start, any idea's?

Fey!

Plug wrote: »

My car won't start, any idea's?

It's probably because the widgit that connects the steering wheel, pedals, gearknob and drivers seat has come unstuck.

Otherwise it's empty battery/empty fuel tank/ broken solenoid/trying to start the neighbours similar car with your key.

Plug

Fey! wrote: »

It's probably because the widgit that connects the steering wheel, pedals, gearknob and drivers seat has come unstuck.

Otherwise it's empty battery/empty fuel tank/ broken solenoid/trying to start the neighbours similar car with your key.

I love them threads with no discription, everyone gives the op loads then. 'right is it a bugatti veyron or a fiesta?' etc etc:D

Duckjob

Fitting a loud after-market tail-pipe to the exhaust of any 1L Micra/Yaris/Fiesta will instantly quadruple its bhp and transform it into an M3 killer.

If, when driving such a car, you roar ahead of an M3 at the lights, you can safely brag of your victory to your mates as the driver was obviously too scared to race you.

opinion guy

high horse wrote: »

BMW - Indicators are an expensive option which almost nobody gets when they buy one

Fey! wrote: »

This posters back is almost broken from all of the forum users who keep climbing up on him. Pretty soon he'll only be fit for the glue factory!

Fu*k your logical point, I've a high horse outside

Fey!

I can't tax my commercial X5 in Blanch becasue I'm now unemployed, but my friend in Galway in the same situation had no bother taxing his commercial ML.

Eric Cartman

Im planning on getting away with X by tricking the gards by saying Y and im admitting it on the internet where no gard dares venture....what a smart scumbag I am...

The motorway has 3 lanes , the slow lane, the middle lane and the fast lane, anything above 50km/h and Im allowed in the fast lane, Ill just sit here putting on my makeup and death glare anyone who overtakes me in the middle lane

btkm8unsl0w5r4

My dad I have a new BMW which I think is great. I will now mention it in every thread. and set my username to include said rocket ship I also have a split personality so sometimes I post as a 8 year old boy and sometimes as a angry adult.

Mr.Boots

I imagine i look like this....










But i realy look like this......