Holiday without baby??

Virgo2011

Hi - I was invited along on a free 7 day holiday with my friend. My baby will be 4mths old and will be staying at home with daddy.

Everyone keeps telling me i'm mad and should not go - i'll be so upset away from the baby.

Has anybody gone away and left a young baby? How was it?

Thanks

bulmersgal

i left my baby stay with her dad when she was 4 months and i went out after christening. And being honest its alright when ur busy but its tough not seeing their little face. I was delighted when she came back dont think i could manage a week.

I left her 2 weeks ago when i went to london for 2 days and it was grand as i kept busy but i was never as happy to see her.

sorry if i'm no help

Das Kitty

We went away for 1 night at that stage. It was terribly hard. Then again you know your partner will be with them, I always found it easier leaving him with Daddy than us both leaving him.

crazy cat lady

I couldn't do it! No way no how!

Squiggler

I think everyone is different. I don't think I could do it, I'd miss my husband dreadfully too.

One of my friends can't bear to be separated from her little girl to the extent that she takes the child (and either her partner or some other family member to mind her) with her on business trips.

On the other hand a cousin of mine seems to have no difficulty leaving her two children with an Au Pair and going off on holidays for a week or two.

Only you can judge how you will feel about it. Good luck

cbyrd

The first time you leave your baby is always the hardest, it does get easier. If it were me i'd go on the holiday safe in the knowledge that your baby and her daddy are having a bonding week. It's not very often you get the opportunity to have time away... i don't understand why people want to make you feel guilty for having a bit of a rest for yourself, your life is not over because you have a baby.

I know the first time i went away my eldest was 18 months (would've went sooner if we could have afforded it but we were saving for a house and a wedding ) I cried for most of the first day, i phoned home to find out she was having a ball without us and it put my mind at rest, we phoned once a day and when we came back i was so glad we'd had the break (it was our honeymoon).
If you haven't left her at all since she was born try a night or two away without her, see how you feel then

cynder

The first time i left my lady was when she was 5 years and 10 months, i had to go to hospital to have my second but i was home 2 days later and she visited,

The only time ive been away from my kids was for 3 days after my wedding, (they were ages 9,3 and 20 months) 2 days in doonbeg golf resort for our 1st anniversary ( ages 10, 4 and 32 months) 3 days in London for our 2nd anniversary (they were ages 10,4 and 3 and 8 months) and i spent a week in Dublin hospital with my eldest leaving the kids with their dad last December.


Its a personal choice, i love being with my kids and hate leaving them behind.

How Strange

Op it's a highly emotive subject and there's no right or wrong answer. Going on your own and enjoying the weeks break doesn't make you a bad parent and declining the offer doesn't make you a good one.

Imo do whatever you want to do as it's a personal decision.

Acoshla

I know I can't really answer as I have no children but I agree with How Strange, it's totally up to you.

When I was just gone one my mother went to America for 2 weeks, left me with my Dad's mom as my Dad was useless. My mother had had a tough year and was only too happy to leave me and have a bit of a holiday, she knew I was incredibly well looked after and doted on by my nan and says that knowing that made it very easy to enjoy her well deserved holiday without worrying too much

Virgo2011

Thanks girls, you have all been a help. I'll see how I manage in the first 4 mths. The way i am looking at it is, I'll learn from my mistake if thats what it ends up as painfully maybe, but lesson learnt.

liliq

Hi Virgo,
I can't really offer much practical advice on your choice as I've no babies yet, but I have to say, I'd love to think that I'd be able to take up an offer of a free holiday when my baby is 4 months old!
I know that any parent would miss their baby without seeing them for a week, but as long as you're completely happy that s/he will be well taken care of then I'd say go for it if you feel you can! You'll have put in over a years hard work between being pregnant and a new mommy and a holiday would be well deserved!
Plus baby and daddy will have time for just the two of them to bond! x

Das Kitty

OK here's my advice.

You won't know how you feel about it until the time. If you feel like you can't go when the time comes, don't feel like you have to. It's not about being a good or bad mother but trusting your instincts. You may feel like it's hugely welcome when the time comes but it's impossible to know this side of the birth.

Moonbeam

Only you will know if you can or not.
it took me 8 months to leave my 1st to pop out for a few hours and that was at home with daddy,just had my 2nd and she has already been left with daddy more then once while I went to the shops or to collect the 2 year old.

wolfpawnat

When my son was 6 months I went on a 8 day trip with his dad to London while he stayed with his nana. Knowing they are with family is everything! I could not left him with anyone else (even if she does drive me insane)

You are allowed to have a life and don't feel guilty about wanting to have a good time with your friends. Talk it over with daddy. Would you feel happy skyping daily to see baby?

I did miss him and I was near crying to have him back in my arms, but I loved my holiday and enjoyed it alot!

Irish_Elect_Eng

Virgo2011 wrote: »

Hi - I was invited along on a free 7 day holiday with my friend. My baby will be 4mths old and will be staying at home with daddy.

Everyone keeps telling me i'm mad and should not go - i'll be so upset away from the baby.

Has anybody gone away and left a young baby? How was it?

Thanks

A few thoughts:

This is a wonderful opportunity for Baby and Dad to bond, a lot of the time men a sidelined from primary care, this will be a great opportunity for him to be the primary carer. (I am assuming that he is a capable chap) It can be hard being away, but remember it is only as hard as you let it be. Schedule 2 calls each day with Dad, morning and evening, that way you can look forward to updates on their day and Dad will not feel that you are checking on him. Perhaps Dad could text you picture in the morning and when baby goes to sleep.:)

Nobody would blink if your OH had to travel for a couple of weeks for work. It is frankly sexist that it is the woman that seems to be socially constrained by parenthood, even when they have a willing partner.:(

Don't feel guilty about taking a break with your friend, a rested and happy mom is best for baby. Sometimes I think that the "parenting police" expect parenting in early childhood to be a nightmare and love to play oneupmanship games to demonstrate their dedication to their children. It is almost as if they believe that if the parent is not suffering then the child is not being reared right.:mad:

In our families experience our children seem to enjoy the breaks from us as well, it would upset them more to be separated from each other :-) As with all things to do with your children, you as the parents know what is best for your family, talk it over with your OH and then do what your hearts tells you to do.:)

Letyourselfgo

My wife and I went on our honeymoon without our then 10 month old and it ruined it, we missed her so much.
Now we have 3 kids and if we can get away for a few days without them, we will, we went to Berlin recently and loved it, we missed the kids but they were having an adventure of there own in grannys.
My advice would be go and enjoy yourself and don't feel bad for doing so. Those telling you you shouldn't go are out of line and probably jealous.

Jumbo156

For what it's worth
My wife went away for 5 days in September 2009 when our youngest was 9 months.
It was the best thing that she could have done. She was a different person when she came back.
As everyone knows, although its amazing having children, It also can be quite difficult and to some extent can put a bit of a starin on a relationship.
The break, as I say did her and myself, a lot of good, as she had a break from the kids and I got to spend more time with the kids
Winners all around as far as we were concerned.
Our little fellas were very pleased to see her when she came back,( not as much as I was though , and although they missed her, not that much.

One other thing, I realised when she was away how much I was taking her for granted.

So what I am trying to say is, go for it. We all need a break!