Haven't touched a drop in...

tinpib

Glen_Quagmire wrote: »

Can I ask, do the cravings and temptations ease up after time and if so how long before they subside?

Yes, they do. Mine are pretty much completely gone now. I'm day 422 now, so sobriety is my new normal.

But as I have posted before, this is my 4th serious attempt at quitting. I have plenty of posts on this thread if you want to read back, including the exact same good angel/bad angel debate you've had. The other 3 serious attempts last 4.5 months each. There were plenty of other times I quit permanently, but probably didn't tell people I was quitting permanently and lasted 5 days, 2 weeks a month etc.

Each time i was probably getting a little better at quitting but I didn't notice it at the time. But really in 2014 I just got sick and tired of being sick and tired and ending up in the exact same spot over and over again, like you.

That led to 4.5 months sober in 2014, and 2015 and then, I think, I hope, it finally "clicked" around Christmas 2015.

It's tough, you do need to find other things to do to fill your former drinking time. It takes a lot of getting used to do. You might not think you are making progress but you are. You are at least considering stopping and making an active effort.

Keep going, keep trying. Read the resources here as well.

edit: Just to add a couple of more things.

I only had cravings on day 2 and 3 and then1 other time after about 6 weeks. As I say, something just clicked this time. But all the other times it was constantly on my mind. I have read on reddit that this "clicking" seems to happen other people too.

Also I am abroad on my own and overall that has been a great help. No big occasions to worry about, weddings, parties, Christmas etc I think it would be far more difficult to give up at home, not only the temptations but the constant questioning. I white knuckled 4.5 months at home though, and plenty of people on here are proof it can be done.

Acceptance that drinking has almost zero positive attributes is the big thing. It's juts not worth it when you "play the tape forward".

With my length of sobriety now I'm hopeful I will be able to stay sober in Ireland. As I say, sobriety is my new normal.

Glen_Quagmire

Thanks guys, all great stuff to hear. Little steps at a time I suppose, nothing is gonna happen over night.

I suppose what I should keep telling myself today is, if I just have a few today for the match then I will be exactly (maybe not as hungover) as I was last Sunday and have to try start fresh again next week so in essence I am going around in circles like I have been for the last few months.

Finding things to do to replace the drink, especially on days like today is gonna be hard.

Any suggestions? What do you guys do?

tinpib

Glen_Quagmire wrote: »

.

Any suggestions? What do you guys do?

For the first few months this time around, because I was determined to stop I spent a huge amount of time on the reddit/stopdrinking, then watch tons of documentaries on drinking and the show Intervention.

As time moved on I think about drinking less and less so I'm not on them as much.

Also what helped me stop this time was having a project. I came up with an idea of a kindle book, I gave myself a deadline of 3 months and sat down and wrote it, then had a reward of a holiday at the end, my first holiday sober.

I tend to obsess about things, I'm all or nothing. So having a project with a self imposed deadline and reward helped focus my brain.

It worked brilliantly, if I do say so myself. However since then I haven't been focusing on such beneficial projects, I need to take my own advice and focus on something better.

You could start a side business, learn a language with the intention of visiting the country where the language is spoken as a reward. This is doable due to the money you save by not drinking, although possibly more difficult with a family.

All My Stars Aligned

Glen_Quagmire wrote: »

Thanks guys, all great stuff to hear. Little steps at a time I suppose, nothing is gonna happen over night.

I suppose what I should keep telling myself today is, if I just have a few today for the match then I will be exactly (maybe not as hungover) as I was last Sunday and have to try start fresh again next week so in essence I am going around in circles like I have been for the last few months.

Finding things to do to replace the drink, especially on days like today is gonna be hard.

Any suggestions? What do you guys do?

Glen, congrats for realizing that alcohol is a problem, thats always the first step.

What I might suggest is that for the times that are triggers such as Friday nights or watching the rugby is try to occupy yourself by doing something else, go to the cinema or call over to friends that you know won't be drinking.

For me part of getting sober was breaking old habits. Avoiding certain places or people.

Personally Life Ring was a massive support. Friday night would have been tough for me too so I went to a LR meeting and then to the cinema with a couple of the guys from the meeting.

Anyway, I wish you all the best, you CAN do it!

Glen_Quagmire

Didn't make it through the day unfortunately. I was craving Guinness all day and eventually folded around 7.30pm. I was constantly battling with myself all day and I was reading a few posts looking for inspiration to stay strong and I came across a post that said they have been off booze but have not felt any great changes so I thought to myself what's the point in putting up with this mental "torture" when I may not even see anything good come from it.

That one little sentence was enough to push me over the edge and I went to the off licence and got 8 cans of Guinness. Came home and drank 6 and had some food and went to bed.

As I write this now I have mixed emotions. I'm not hungover, maybe a little tired and sluggish compared to yesterday morning and a bit disappointed in myself for not seeing out the day after coming so far but for those few hours last night doing the thing I was craving all day (and Friday) was a huge weight off my shoulders.

The problem is I enjoy it so much, it's such a pleasurable thing to do and relaxes me like nothing else. I'm saying to myself now, I had 6 cans of beer and feel grand this morning what's the problem? However, it's not those nights at home having 6 cans of Guinness or a few bottles of beer that is the problem, it's the nights out when I have 15 pints and a ton of shots, vodka, gin, jager bombs etc etc and wake up half dead the next morning and ruin the day and don't feel right for 3 days after, that's the problem.

I think for a lot of people in this situation is you're either in or your out there isn't any middle ground. By middle ground I mean drinking in moderation and not allowing yourself to get absolutely hammered and hungover to bits from time to time.

Confused right now isn't the word!

marienbad

Glen_Quagmire wrote: »

Didn't make it through the day unfortunately. I was craving Guinness all day and eventually folded around 7.30pm. I was constantly battling with myself all day and I was reading a few posts looking for inspiration to stay strong and I came across a post that said they have been off booze but have not felt any great changes so I thought to myself what's the point in putting up with this mental "torture" when I may not even see anything good come from it.

That one little sentence was enough to push me over the edge and I went to the off licence and got 8 cans of Guinness. Came home and drank 6 and had some food and went to bed.

As I write this now I have mixed emotions. I'm not hungover, maybe a little tired and sluggish compared to yesterday morning and a bit disappointed in myself for not seeing out the day after coming so far but for those few hours last night doing the thing I was craving all day (and Friday) was a huge weight off my shoulders.

The problem is I enjoy it so much, it's such a pleasurable thing to do and relaxes me like nothing else. I'm saying to myself now, I had 6 cans of beer and feel grand this morning what's the problem? However, it's not those nights at home having 6 cans of Guinness or a few bottles of beer that is the problem, it's the nights out when I have 15 pints and a ton of shots, vodka, gin, jager bombs etc etc and wake up half dead the next morning and ruin the day and don't feel right for 3 days after, that's the problem.

I think for a lot of people in this situation is you're either in or your out there isn't any middle ground. By middle ground I mean drinking in moderation and not allowing yourself to get absolutely hammered and hungover to bits from time to time.

Confused right now isn't the word!

I have been following yours post from the start Glen and all I can say is that for those of us on here there is no halfway house between the sober life and the alcoholic life . It is a choice .

''If you want what we have the you must be willing to go to any lengths to get it , Half measures will avail you nothing ''

All My Stars Aligned

Hey Glen,

I'm just wondering if you have ever spoken to anybody your relationship with alcohol? There are some wonderful professionals out there that maybe you could talk thing through with.

Regarding the half in half out you speak of, I guess most folks on here can't do moderation. We may be grand for a few weeks or months perhaps but each of us know where we will end up.

I really would urge you to try to give this another shot but do so using some of the supports that are out there.

Wishing you well.

Glen_Quagmire

All My Stars Aligned wrote:

I'm just wondering if you have ever spoken to anybody your relationship with alcohol? There are some wonderful professionals out there that maybe you could talk thing through with.

No I've never spoken to anyone about it, never felt I had to to be honest, it kinda makes it seem like I have a serious problem thinking about it. I don't see it as a serious problem at the moment, if I was drinking 7 days a week, missing work or causing problems at home or with friends I would definitely be sitting on someone's lap looking for help. I don't know maybe I do need professional help, it could be a case of not seeing the wood from the trees..

Do you have any professional services in mind so I can think about it a bit more?

Amazingfun

flex_manion wrote: »

Probably 10 years now

How?

It's like this...

For people - not me - who are allergic to peanuts:
Peanut Consumption = Possible Death

For people like me - who's brain is allergic to alcohol:
Alcohol Consumption = Possible Death

... and I'm afraid of dying.

love it.

The Dr's Opinion was a fairly shocking read my first time exposed to it, and I guess I didn't really believe it was true in my case, although it did sound like what happens to me once I start, the loss of control, etc.

But after I drank again after a few years sober---and the bottle gave me yet another wallop of a beating, I soon began to open my mind to this "allergy theory" lol
I know today I do have it, and it will never be any different if I start:
"I take the drink, the drink takes me".
Understanding I am different when it comes to alcohol, just like the peanut people are with the nuts, plays a huge part in my acceptance that I can never, ever, drink again.

Oftentimes pain/humiliation/failure, and lots of it, is the only thing an alkie will respond to.
Wish it were different, but it seems to be as true today as it ever was.

realdanbreen

Deleted User wrote: »

I ****ed up again. This is so hard

Hey, forget about it! You went drinking again like all of us on this thread have done at some time I would imagine. Now I am always reluctant to give advice on this thread as sometimes a post can be misunderstood. But for what it's worth. You need to get off the drink and yes it is hard but being miserable and guilty as a result of booze is harder. You like many of us are fortunate in many ways in that you have not been told by a doctor that you have x amount of time left. Not drinking is hard but is doable. Now get back on the horse but before doing so give it some serious thought. A half hearted approach as pointed out elsewhere will not work. Good luck.

All My Stars Aligned

Glen_Quagmire wrote: »

No I've never spoken to anyone about it, never felt I had to to be honest, it kinda makes it seem like I have a serious problem thinking about it. I don't see it as a serious problem at the moment, if I was drinking 7 days a week, missing work or causing problems at home or with friends I would definitely be sitting on someone's lap looking for help. I don't know maybe I do need professional help, it could be a case of not seeing the wood from the trees..

Do you have any professional services in mind so I can think about it a bit more?

One of the places that I always think of when asked is Stanhope Street. They provide a wonderful, kind, friendly and compassionate service.

Hope this helps and that you are doing ok.

hubba

Well done everyone here for moving in the right direction, especially those just started off their journey. I really wish you the best.

I don't have a way with words like the Flying Mouse does (our AF Guru!) but I just think I need to speak up about my own experience (I realise every single case is different).

I quit 5 years ago. It was my third attempt and I had realised the first two attempts failed because I hadn't really gotten my head around it. I knew fully I wanted to quit but I wasn't prepared for life without alcohol. I need to fully visualise my life free of alcohol, convince myself FULLY that that's what I wanted to do and that I was prepared to put that choice before everything else. I couldn't bear to fail again so I prepared, in military style, my approach. I read up everything I could on quitting and every book and website said be prepared, have a plan for weak moments and avoid old habits/triggers. I wrote up a list of why I wanted to quit (for weak moments!). There were 30 items on it, some mortifying to read but I knew I needed this to remind me in 2 weeks, 2 months time that no, it wasn't harmless fun and sure why don't I just have one. I read about the affects alcohol has on the mind and the brain which scared me, the desired effect.

So to cut a long story short, armed with my huge resolve and my endless lists I prepared to quit and to get busy. It was tough. Within a few months I had to go to 2 weddings, one abroad and both by myself. Challenges in the themselves, even more so without alcohol. But to be honest, I was very happy to find I didn't get many 'cravings' as such. I felt like the black sheep and very lonely but I think all my preparation helped me deal with the early phase. I read somewhere that after about 5 days the physical effects of alcohol are over in the body but the cravings remain. These cravings are mental in origin which can be a comfort to some and huge challenge to others.

What I'm trying to say is, if you can somehow get your head around the fact BEFORE you quit, that there is no way back, ever, then the cravings will be reduced. It's the doubt that creates the cravings.

I don't know if that makes any sense to anyone but it was really important in my success in quitting so I thought I would share in case it helped.

Lastly, there is nothing like being free of alcohol. It is my new normal and my life is so much better because of it. So hang in there everyone, it's worth it.

tinpib

Good post Hubba. I'd say to Glen, the dunne and others in the early stages, a good strategy to fill the time is to read/watch/listen to stuff on alcoholism starting with the resources here. That's what Hubba and myself did and I'm sure plenty of others. It helps you understand, come to terms with things and also to give you strength and reinforce that you ARE making the right decision.

realdanbreen

realdanbreen wrote:

Hey, forget about it! You went drinking again like all of us on this thread have done at some time I would imagine. Now I am always reluctant to give advice on this thread as sometimes a post can be misunderstood. But for what it's worth. You need to get off the drink and yes it is hard but being miserable and guilty as a result of booze is harder. You like many of us are fortunate in many ways in that you have not been told by a doctor that you have x amount of time left. Not drinking is hard but is doable. Now get back on the horse but before doing so give it some serious thought. A half hearted approach as pointed out elsewhere will not work. Good luck.

Thanks buddy. You are right. I'm going to give it my all. Thanks again

realdanbreen

Deleted User wrote: »

Thanks buddy. You are right. I'm going to give it my all. Thanks again

Good. And you will give it your all and you will do that because you deserve to give your life back to yourself and to hell with the f*****g booze. And yes there will be days when you see folk sitting outside pubs sipping drinks and having a great time and a longing will come over you, but you are like me and many more around here and I know that in my case sipping an odd pint now and then will quickly lead to the usual........peeping out the curtains next morning to see if I brought the car home, are there any marks on it?, meeting the postman at the end of the street to get the bills, lying, hiding bottles, tossing and turning at night, guilt, more lying... I'm only getting warmed up ffs!
The main thing my friend is that you and yours and your life are too precious to be affected by that bloody drink.

yessam

I

marienbad

+1

scriba

5 months! (151 days) I'd celebrate with a run if there wasn't a wall of windy icy rain out there battering all of nature into mud and muck. Maybe a jaffa cake instead, and a cup of tea!

scriba

scriba wrote: »

5 months! (151 days) I'd celebrate with a run if there wasn't a wall of windy icy rain out there battering all of nature into mud and muck. Maybe a jaffa cake instead, and a cup of tea!

All the jaffa cakes. I have a problem.

yessam

My first time posting on this forum. Would like to get your opinions on my story.

Other drinkers or so called friends that dont accept I need to quit drinking is the biggest problem for me. I have gone back drinking several times just to be part of a group and to fit in.

I have taken up new hobbies and got some extra work but every occasion in Ireland is soaked in drink.

I think cutting the ties with regular drink buddies and finding something interesting to do and occupy my mind to make up for all the hours spent in pubs.

The human mind isnt designed to listen to the rubbish that goes on in pubs for long periods of time without alcohol. Your brain has to be drugged with alcohol.

I was never much into drinking on my own at home but I did love spending hours and hours in the pub.

Filling all these extra hours not sitting on a high stool with a brain that working much better is where I fall down.

I find I can enjoy weddings and party's up to a certain stage but then I just have to find the exit and go.

yessam

yessam wrote:

My first time posting on this forum. Would like to get your opinions on my story........

+1

hubba

yessam wrote: »

My first time posting on this forum. Would like to get your opinions on my story.

Other drinkers or so called friends that dont accept I need to quit drinking is the biggest problem for me. I have gone back drinking several times just to be part of a group and to fit in.

I have taken up new hobbies and got some extra work but every occasion in Ireland is soaked in drink.

I think cutting the ties with regular drink buddies and finding something interesting to do and occupy my mind to make up for all the hours spent in pubs.

The human mind isnt designed to listen to the rubbish that goes on in pubs for long periods of time without alcohol. Your brain has to be drugged with alcohol.

I was never much into drinking on my own at home but I did love spending hours and hours in the pub.

Filling all these extra hours not sitting on a high stool with a brain that working much better is where I fall down.

I find I can enjoy weddings and party's up to a certain stage but then I just have to find the exit and go.

I started to withdraw from my drinking 'buddies' in advance of quitting. I knew my life was going down a different road so rather than go to the pub regularly I drank at home instead. Not ideal but it weaned me off the addiction to 'banter' and 'the craic' before I actually quit. It worked for me but everyone is different so you have to just be honest with yourself, and ask what am I prepared to do to make this work?

yessam

hubba wrote: »

Well done everyone here for moving in the right direction, especially those just started off their journey. I really wish you the best.

I don't have a way with words like the Flying Mouse does (our AF Guru!) but I just think I need to speak up about my own experience (I realise every single case is different).

I quit 5 years ago. It was my third attempt and I had realised the first two attempts failed because I hadn't really gotten my head around it. I knew fully I wanted to quit but I wasn't prepared for life without alcohol. I need to fully visualise my life free of alcohol, convince myself FULLY that that's what I wanted to do and that I was prepared to put that choice before everything else. I couldn't bear to fail again so I prepared, in military style, my approach. I read up everything I could on quitting and every book and website said be prepared, have a plan for weak moments and avoid old habits/triggers. I wrote up a list of why I wanted to quit (for weak moments!). There were 30 items on it, some mortifying to read but I knew I needed this to remind me in 2 weeks, 2 months time that no, it wasn't harmless fun and sure why don't I just have one. I read about the affects alcohol has on the mind and the brain which scared me, the desired effect.

So to cut a long story short, armed with my huge resolve and my endless lists I prepared to quit and to get busy. It was tough. Within a few months I had to go to 2 weddings, one abroad and both by myself. Challenges in the themselves, even more so without alcohol. But to be honest, I was very happy to find I didn't get many 'cravings' as such. I felt like the black sheep and very lonely but I think all my preparation helped me deal with the early phase. I read somewhere that after about 5 days the physical effects of alcohol are over in the body but the cravings remain. These cravings are mental in origin which can be a comfort to some and huge challenge to others.

What I'm trying to say is, if you can somehow get your head around the fact BEFORE you quit, that there is no way back, ever, then the cravings will be reduced. It's the doubt that creates the cravings.

I don't know if that makes any sense to anyone but it was really important in my success in quitting so I thought I would share in case it helped.

Lastly, there is nothing like being free of alcohol. It is my new normal and my life is so much better because of it. So hang in there everyone, it's worth it.

Hi Hubba,
You said you felt like the black sheep and very lonely at the weddings.
I have to say this is my biggest problem at this stage. I
How do you deal with similar situations now or does the same feelings still apply

clairewithani

6 days. Lent!!!

clairewithani

First week over. Hoping for many more.

Laeot

357 days ...

Fingers Mcginty

5 days

Laeot

One whole year !!

marienbad

Laeot wrote: »

One whole year !!

Absolutely outstanding Laeot , you are to be congratulated , celebrated , toasted as one of the winners .:):)

Here is to many many more years

Dave!

Hope you all have a nice relaxing St Patrick's Day