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Haven't touched a drop in...
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5 weeks come monday.
I'll celebrate that with a meeting at AA:)0 -
Congrats to everyone. I'm still struggling but seeing all your success stories are helping. Hopefully I'll be one soon0
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[Deleted User] wrote: »Congrats to everyone. I'm still struggling but seeing all your success stories are helping. Hopefully I'll be one soon
You will if you want it badly enough and are completely honest,
I'm sick of it and its costing more than the money it took to buy the crap,i dont want to loose my life and everything ive built up over a poison.
Hope your keeping well dunne and ditch it for good sooner than later.0 -
180 days. Monday will be six months exactly! Hurrah!
Well done to everyone else here, big numbers or small. It all counts.0 -
175 days down. It still doesn't feel like any time at all, but next Friday I'll have done 6 months. Not feeling any pressure, just taking things day by day.
It's a bit quiet here lately? Hope everything is going well. And if not, today can be the first day.0 -
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175 days down. It still doesn't feel like any time at all, but next Friday I'll have done 6 months. Not feeling any pressure, just taking things day by day.
It's a bit quiet here lately? Hope everything is going well. And if not, today can be the first day.
Thats fantastic scriba,whats your secrets and how difficult has it been for you to stay sober?0 -
Well I hadn't drank in just over a month and I felt amazing I was in such a good place
Then sat night I had drinks with my partner and then yesterday I had a few with family
And I'm in bits today I'm just so annoyed with myself for drinking
I feel groggy and tired and just really crap ☹️
I hate alcohol I will try to never drink again
Next time I feel like a drink I will read this post0 -
Thats fantastic scriba,whats your secrets and how difficult has it been for you to stay sober?
Thanks, I only saw this now - no real secrets to tell. I was sick of drinking, embarrassed and ashamed of my behaviour while drinking. I had been having very negative thoughts after alcohol for years, and any alcohol would bring back my depression symptoms. I also grew up with alcoholism, and recently having my first child combined with approaching a "landmark" birthday meant I've been thinking about my life and childhood quite a bit over the last year or two. I guess I've wanted to give up for quite a while, but I never could take the step. I posted here a few months back explaining what I was feeling the day I decided to quit, and that hasn't really changed.
My secret is that, at the moment, only the tiniest part of me wants to drink, and my reasons for not wanting to drink are still fresh and clear in my mind. My mind still plays old tricks. Like when the sun comes out and part of you feels cheated out of having a few cold beers, or sparkling fizz at a wedding. But I've just got to the point where I know I can never have that: I've tried the "no more than 2" approach too many times, and even if I hold it for a while, the end result is always the same. Also, I'm in a good place in my life at the moment, so my self destructive tendencies aren't as prominent as normal. I've tried to live a drink free life as opposed to cutting myself out of all events. Some events are a challenge, but I've managed to hold tough so far.
It might seem a weird thing to say, and I'm not sure how much it affects things, but I'm also conscious that I'm doing this for myself. I don't do things for myself, usually, so it's a big deal. It helps me feel some self worth and a little bit of pride. It means I've built up a little self esteem to help me challenge the usual daily barrage of inner monologue negativity and self-bullying.
I have support. My wife gave up drinking a couple of years ago, and has similar thoughts on it to me. Although she's recently been talking about a sneaky glass of champagne on special occasions. That's a no! But if she wants me to mistake our radiators for urinals, then she knows the quickest path to that!
I did do a couple of years of counselling a few years ago. While not for alcohol, I'm convinced working on some of my issues, based in part on growing up with a bullying alcoholic parent, helped hugely in me getting where I am today. I don't look at alcohol in the same benign light, certainly.
The difficulty on sobriety hasn't really hit yet. For me, it's not so much the peer pressure or cultural thing. I've always been able to do an event without alcohol and enjoy it - I just never wanted to when I'd have the choice, and sure wasn't I great craic? With a toddler, a long commute, and tight finances, it's easy enough to find reasons not to drink, not to mention the lack of opportunities. So I'm happy to make it this far, but I'm taking it day by day. Every day could have something waiting to smack me down and drown my sorrows, so I need to remember that.
Anyway, after all that rambling, I hope some of it is of some help, and more importantly, that you're in a good place yourself. We're all different, but we face a lot of the same challenges, internally and externally. I think awareness is your friend here - if you recognise the feelings you have (or suppress) when you get the urge to drink, you can then try to manage those feelings or situations that cause them in your life before you get to that "ah **** it, I deserve it ..." moment.
Good luck!0 -
Tomorrow will be 50 days for me, which is my longest stint in 23 years! have made many half arsed attempts and a month and stuff before but was never really serious about it till now, it really feels different this time. I am aiming for a year this time, to be honest I'm kinda terrified that in a year I might actually decide I like this me better and give it up for good!0
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Thanks, I only saw this now - no real secrets to tell. I was sick of drinking, embarrassed and ashamed of my behaviour while drinking. I had been having very negative thoughts after alcohol for years, and any alcohol would bring back my depression symptoms. I also grew up with alcoholism, and recently having my first child combined with approaching a "landmark" birthday meant I've been thinking about my life and childhood quite a bit over the last year or two. I guess I've wanted to give up for quite a while, but I never could take the step. I posted here a few months back explaining what I was feeling the day I decided to quit, and that hasn't really changed.
My secret is that, at the moment, only the tiniest part of me wants to drink, and my reasons for not wanting to drink are still fresh and clear in my mind. My mind still plays old tricks. Like when the sun comes out and part of you feels cheated out of having a few cold beers, or sparkling fizz at a wedding. But I've just got to the point where I know I can never have that: I've tried the "no more than 2" approach too many times, and even if I hold it for a while, the end result is always the same. Also, I'm in a good place in my life at the moment, so my self destructive tendencies aren't as prominent as normal. I've tried to live a drink free life as opposed to cutting myself out of all events. Some events are a challenge, but I've managed to hold tough so far.
It might seem a weird thing to say, and I'm not sure how much it affects things, but I'm also conscious that I'm doing this for myself. I don't do things for myself, usually, so it's a big deal. It helps me feel some self worth and a little bit of pride. It means I've built up a little self esteem to help me challenge the usual daily barrage of inner monologue negativity and self-bullying.
I have support. My wife gave up drinking a couple of years ago, and has similar thoughts on it to me. Although she's recently been talking about a sneaky glass of champagne on special occasions. That's a no! But if she wants me to mistake our radiators for urinals, then she knows the quickest path to that!
I did do a couple of years of counselling a few years ago. While not for alcohol, I'm convinced working on some of my issues, based in part on growing up with a bullying alcoholic parent, helped hugely in me getting where I am today. I don't look at alcohol in the same benign light, certainly.
The difficulty on sobriety hasn't really hit yet. For me, it's not so much the peer pressure or cultural thing. I've always been able to do an event without alcohol and enjoy it - I just never wanted to when I'd have the choice, and sure wasn't I great craic? With a toddler, a long commute, and tight finances, it's easy enough to find reasons not to drink, not to mention the lack of opportunities. So I'm happy to make it this far, but I'm taking it day by day. Every day could have something waiting to smack me down and drown my sorrows, so I need to remember that.
Anyway, after all that rambling, I hope some of it is of some help, and more importantly, that you're in a good place yourself. We're all different, but we face a lot of the same challenges, internally and externally. I think awareness is your friend here - if you recognise the feelings you have (or suppress) when you get the urge to drink, you can then try to manage those feelings or situations that cause them in your life before you get to that "ah **** it, I deserve it ..." moment.
Good luck!
Great post! I can relate to so much of this, substitute radiator for wardrobe and you could be describing me!0 -
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Thanks, I only saw this now - no real secrets to tell. I was sick of drinking, embarrassed and ashamed of my behaviour while drinking. I had been having very negative thoughts after alcohol for years, and any alcohol would bring back my depression symptoms. I also grew up with alcoholism, and recently having my first child combined with approaching a "landmark" birthday meant I've been thinking about my life and childhood quite a bit over the last year or two. I guess I've wanted to give up for quite a while, but I never could take the step. I posted here a few months back explaining what I was feeling the day I decided to quit, and that hasn't really changed.
My secret is that, at the moment, only the tiniest part of me wants to drink, and my reasons for not wanting to drink are still fresh and clear in my mind. My mind still plays old tricks. Like when the sun comes out and part of you feels cheated out of having a few cold beers, or sparkling fizz at a wedding. But I've just got to the point where I know I can never have that: I've tried the "no more than 2" approach too many times, and even if I hold it for a while, the end result is always the same. Also, I'm in a good place in my life at the moment, so my self destructive tendencies aren't as prominent as normal. I've tried to live a drink free life as opposed to cutting myself out of all events. Some events are a challenge, but I've managed to hold tough so far.
It might seem a weird thing to say, and I'm not sure how much it affects things, but I'm also conscious that I'm doing this for myself. I don't do things for myself, usually, so it's a big deal. It helps me feel some self worth and a little bit of pride. It means I've built up a little self esteem to help me challenge the usual daily barrage of inner monologue negativity and self-bullying.
I have support. My wife gave up drinking a couple of years ago, and has similar thoughts on it to me. Although she's recently been talking about a sneaky glass of champagne on special occasions. That's a no! But if she wants me to mistake our radiators for urinals, then she knows the quickest path to that!
I did do a couple of years of counselling a few years ago. While not for alcohol, I'm convinced working on some of my issues, based in part on growing up with a bullying alcoholic parent, helped hugely in me getting where I am today. I don't look at alcohol in the same benign light, certainly.
The difficulty on sobriety hasn't really hit yet. For me, it's not so much the peer pressure or cultural thing. I've always been able to do an event without alcohol and enjoy it - I just never wanted to when I'd have the choice, and sure wasn't I great craic? With a toddler, a long commute, and tight finances, it's easy enough to find reasons not to drink, not to mention the lack of opportunities. So I'm happy to make it this far, but I'm taking it day by day. Every day could have something waiting to smack me down and drown my sorrows, so I need to remember that.
Anyway, after all that rambling, I hope some of it is of some help, and more importantly, that you're in a good place yourself. We're all different, but we face a lot of the same challenges, internally and externally. I think awareness is your friend here - if you recognise the feelings you have (or suppress) when you get the urge to drink, you can then try to manage those feelings or situations that cause them in your life before you get to that "ah **** it, I deserve it ..." moment.
Good luck!
Great post. Well done. Great inspiration.0 -
Thanks, I only saw this now - no real secrets to tell. I was sick of drinking, embarrassed and ashamed of my behaviour while drinking. I had been having very negative thoughts after alcohol for years, and any alcohol would bring back my depression symptoms. I also grew up with alcoholism, and recently having my first child combined with approaching a "landmark" birthday meant I've been thinking about my life and childhood quite a bit over the last year or two. I guess I've wanted to give up for quite a while, but I never could take the step. I posted here a few months back explaining what I was feeling the day I decided to quit, and that hasn't really changed.
My secret is that, at the moment, only the tiniest part of me wants to drink, and my reasons for not wanting to drink are still fresh and clear in my mind. My mind still plays old tricks. Like when the sun comes out and part of you feels cheated out of having a few cold beers, or sparkling fizz at a wedding. But I've just got to the point where I know I can never have that: I've tried the "no more than 2" approach too many times, and even if I hold it for a while, the end result is always the same. Also, I'm in a good place in my life at the moment, so my self destructive tendencies aren't as prominent as normal. I've tried to live a drink free life as opposed to cutting myself out of all events. Some events are a challenge, but I've managed to hold tough so far.
It might seem a weird thing to say, and I'm not sure how much it affects things, but I'm also conscious that I'm doing this for myself. I don't do things for myself, usually, so it's a big deal. It helps me feel some self worth and a little bit of pride. It means I've built up a little self esteem to help me challenge the usual daily barrage of inner monologue negativity and self-bullying.
I have support. My wife gave up drinking a couple of years ago, and has similar thoughts on it to me. Although she's recently been talking about a sneaky glass of champagne on special occasions. That's a no! But if she wants me to mistake our radiators for urinals, then she knows the quickest path to that!
I did do a couple of years of counselling a few years ago. While not for alcohol, I'm convinced working on some of my issues, based in part on growing up with a bullying alcoholic parent, helped hugely in me getting where I am today. I don't look at alcohol in the same benign light, certainly.
The difficulty on sobriety hasn't really hit yet. For me, it's not so much the peer pressure or cultural thing. I've always been able to do an event without alcohol and enjoy it - I just never wanted to when I'd have the choice, and sure wasn't I great craic? With a toddler, a long commute, and tight finances, it's easy enough to find reasons not to drink, not to mention the lack of opportunities. So I'm happy to make it this far, but I'm taking it day by day. Every day could have something waiting to smack me down and drown my sorrows, so I need to remember that.
Anyway, after all that rambling, I hope some of it is of some help, and more importantly, that you're in a good place yourself. We're all different, but we face a lot of the same challenges, internally and externally. I think awareness is your friend here - if you recognise the feelings you have (or suppress) when you get the urge to drink, you can then try to manage those feelings or situations that cause them in your life before you get to that "ah **** it, I deserve it ..." moment.
Good luck!
Great post, well done and good luck.0 -
In 5 days.
After many years of problem drinking this year finally took it's toll well the last few months have been rock bottom,So antabuse from my GP after a week or more of dispair and near deaths door and A.A at 11 in the morning.
I'll stick with antabuse and xanax for a month and attend every meeting possible using them just for the month,I need them to just get started and to get myself into some shape to leave the house.
I've been to meetings before but I'd not hit the bottom like this before.
One thing at a time one day at a time ��0 -
2PieceJigsaw wrote: »In 5 days.
After many years of problem drinking this year finally took it's toll well the last few months have been rock bottom,So antabuse from my GP after a week or more of dispair and near deaths door and A.A at 11 in the morning.
I'll stick with antabuse and xanax for a month and attend every meeting possible using them just for the month,I need them to just get started and to get myself into some shape to leave the house.
I've been to meetings before but I'd not hit the bottom like this before.
One thing at a time one day at a time ��
Fair play to you - but, if you could swap the Xanax for Librium, on a reducing dose for no more than 10-14 days (at the absolute most), please do that. Benzos (such as Xanax) are SO addictive also, horribly so, Librium is a benzo too but not as addictive as Xanax. And you're SO vulnerable in early recovery, it would be horrible to get off the alcohol only to get addicted to something else, and it happens so easily.
As someone who's been through a zillion detoxes, in various institutions, on various drugs, please trust me on that and dump the Xanax and get Librium instead!
And a massive, MASSIVE well done on taking that first step. Go you.0 -
Thanks Lady is a tramp
I've been on xanax for awhile with antidepressants,I've read every post over the last few day's and like others my alcohol is something I started using a long time ago to "treat ' my anexity and then use my xanax to 'treat' my alcohol addiction it's all been discussed now with my GP so it will be cut down over the next few weeks totally.Funnily enough I can take xanax or leave them it's how low I got over the past few days,The fear of leaving the house would be to much without them at the moment and I'd go straight to the offy and that's one thing I never want to do again I'd be like a moth to a light,I no myself to well now and I'll never go through what I've been through over the last few months ever again.
Terrifying/shame/fear and doom.
Thanks Lady is a tramp0 -
2PieceJigsaw wrote: »In 5 days.
After many years of problem drinking this year finally took it's toll well the last few months have been rock bottom,So antabuse from my GP after a week or more of dispair and near deaths door and A.A at 11 in the morning.
I'll stick with antabuse and xanax for a month and attend every meeting possible using them just for the month,I need them to just get started and to get myself into some shape to leave the house.
I've been to meetings before but I'd not hit the bottom like this before.
One thing at a time one day at a time ��
Welcome back 2Piece
I found that as the days of sobriety added up, and especially once I got into the program end of things, the willingness to "drop" some of my extras, lol
( I liked to call it my bag of tricks--joints/pills/etc)...just came. I didn't have to worry about it, for as you have discovered, NOT DRINKING is the single most important act for every alkie. Then we are in with a chance, any other problem can be overcome, in time, as long as we understand and accept this.
I am a "retread" too, and had to suffer more than a few beatings from the bottle before the truth sunk in my thick head: I could never expect any kind of life with drink in the picture. Never.
Funny enough once that was accepted, things got much simpler: I returned to AA and this time took things a lot more serious.
Now I am back sober many years, and very grateful to be. This tough phase you are in will eventually pass, as long as you keep on the Path. Like you said, just take it one day at a time....
My head was so crazy when I was newly sober--I used to go to meetings daily, sometimes two, and then listen to Big Book studies @ home. I was desperate to never go back to drink!
I will be thinking of you and sending a few prayers your way.
I am glad you've made it back, there are lots who don't.
A.0 -
Good morning Amazingfun
Yeah meds are the last of my worries as I no i only need the xanax especially because of alcohol.
My god such a smack of reality I've gotten all because of the golden lady i shiver over what it has lately done to my life the things I've done the places I ended up and situation in got myself in,but I'm a firm beliver in everything can be fixed and everyday is a new day,There's lots I can fix still but things I'll never forget but the things I can forget aren't important really so that's one thing.I've now accepted i can't drink ever again and right now I never want to drink ever again and I'll do it for me,the scary scary part of all this lately was id just end up with a drink no idea how i got it it would be like going to get a glass of water but it would be drink!and it became like water there was never enough,I went to bed at 10 last night and just woke at 7 and the dread then I copped i was not drinking last night!a great feeling.
The last few days and something I'll have to do for a while is only take enough money for a coffee with me anywhere I'm going lol ive a 3 euro budget a day,no bank cards but I made the decision.
So glad to be sitting here with a cup of tea and pottering about I'll leave here at 10 to go to the meeting.
Thank you for your prayers A
Hope everyone has a lovely weekend I'll check in later.0 -
Beautiful morning. Clear head.
I don't have "the fear" that alcohol causes anymore. Totally relaxed in myself. Can deal with problems as they arise.
3 weeks today. Getting ready for a nice organised 10k. ")0 -
Good morning fm
It's a great feeling long may it last.it's amazing the peace of mind and the life worries are not as big as the drinking worries!
3 weeks well done,when I began reading this thread I'd sit saying how are these all doing it?And I'd be wishing I was weeks or years ahead in recovery but as I got to the end I realised how it's done it's done with a want for a life a better easier content life.
Best of luck with the 10k,maybe someday I'll try it.0 -
I believe one of the keys is to replace the alcohol with something. For me it's exercise. I started doing the park runs which is a nice 5K , the first few with hangovers and then quickly realised how much easier it is without the hangover. It's free and it's on every Saturday morning and thouroughly enjoyable.
I'm nowhere near out of the murky water yet and God knows I've tried and failed so many times. Somehow this time feels different though.:)0 -
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My main aim at the moment is to fix myself and my kids all teenagers but that is my goal then I can truly focus on other pastimes for me I've done them enough damage but if nothing else none of them will ever be reliant on alcohol especially the older 2 they can take it or leave it to my shame,and they are so supportive and forgiving they keep saying to me it's not you that's not who you are,they come to the shop with me so if I just need milk (that's just beside the drink)i can't buy it just imagine what drink has done can't even go to a garage anymore without the temptation,I tell them I'll be ok but they want to be behind me 100% as they said they could always come to me with any problems and I'd always help so it's payback they belive in me this time ��.
Like you there is something different this time and I'm holding onto it.
This day last week well this evening really is was in a cell!and I'm not going back ever.☺
Enjoy your run fm0 -
good man yourself 2pj, keep it up. Go to that meeting and take it in in your own way and your own time. Don't get distracted by anything or anyone, you are doing this to fix you and you alone. As a result the important people in your life will all benefit.0
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Thanks Dan.
On my way in now!0 -
Hello all. Great thread.
I haven't touched a drop since last September. I'm not an alcoholic, but I came close. I watched my own father who was an alcoholic drink himself to death. I used alcohol fairly heavily most weekends for 20 years as I thought I needed it to enjoy socialising. On nights out and at weddings etc. I was always the last person drinking. I've realised that all I had in common with a lot of my friends was a fondness for drinking to the early hours on nights out and at parties. I often think how much better our lives would have been if my father, and later myself, had never been involved with it. What finally helped me drop it was trying a 1 year temporary pledge with the Pioneers association, and saying the daily pioneers prayer. I done it for myself, but even more so for my late father. This last month, I've realised that I am now finally finished with alcohol, as finally, I don't even have an ounce of craving for it in any situation, and it therefore it has no hold or power over my life any more. After all these years of it being in my life one way or the other, I am finally finished with alcohol and it's finally gone out of my life, and I'm going to take the permanent pioneers lifetime pledge in September. I'm going to wear that pioneer pin with pride - it was hard won.0 -
It's funny hearing the word "fix" used in conjunction with alcoholism, as for me, things only truly changed forever when I understood and accepted that despite my wonderful intellect (lol)- I could not fix myself.
This part of Step 1 from the BB really spoke to my past history with drink and with AA:
http://anonpress.org/bb/Page_39.htm.....That may be true of certain nonalcoholic people who, though drinking foolishly and heavily at the present time, are able to stop or moderate, because their brains and bodies have not been damaged as ours were. But the actual or potential alcoholic, with hardly an exception, will be absolutely unable to stop drinking on the basis of self-knowledge. This is a point we wish to emphasize and re-emphasize, to smash home upon our alcoholic readers as it has been revealed to us out of bitter experience.
I gave up trying my ways, as the long list of things I had tried to fix me had failed spectacularly.
What happened to me was what they call "surrender" I guess, I just took on the solution via the program of AA and for the first time in my life started following directions--and it was only pain and desperation that drove me to finally DO it, try it, instead of just going to meetings and talking about my "stuff".
We all have our experience, but this is mine, and I am lucky I have met quite a few others who share it , so I know I am not alone.
It's like that old AA saying " you have to lose to win", lol, when I first came round that kinda talk used to hurt my head, I just didn't get it, but I sure do today0 -
YLike myself Amazingfun
I surrendered this time the hurt and pain was along with alcohol killing me i wasn't going to let it drag me down anymore let alone kill me and that's exactly what it was leading to.i was in selfdistuct mode I'd convinced myself for year's that because I only drank lager that it was grand I'd never drink anything else no matter what was put in front of me now I know I drank it because it looked like more alcohol and lasted longer so I wasn't running up and down to the bar or fridge to top up and I'd look at others drinking shorts or wine thinking that's to much hassle or they must be alcoholics being able to drink that stuff!
And I'm not because I'll only have 8 or whatever pints and I'm not at the bar queuing every few minutes ��0 -
Well still going strong here☺
Hope everyone else is doing well too.0 -
2PieceJigsaw wrote: »Well still going strong here☺
Hope everyone else is doing well too.
Well done 2PieceJigsaw, really pleased for you.0 -
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Hi all.
Well what a fabulous morning and evening so far lovely to wake up with a clear head and start another fresh day,being helpful and reliable!
Got to do lots of stuff with my mammy☺things I'd promised her i do with and for her she was also thrilled to see me looking fresher and in good form heartbreaking what worry ive been putting her through she'd do anything for me (like all mammies )But I had her at deaths door with worry she looked like year's had been took off her.lovely to see and makes me more determined to stick on this road.
I've a few more worries to deal but i know drinking won't help at all it just escalates things afterwards but they are things that have me in this frame of mind to never touch drink again the stupid stupid things ive done mainly in the last 2 years because of drink that got me into the mess I'm in certainly won't get me out of it now.I think it's safe to say the trouble and fright alone is more than enough.And the clear life high and smile on my mams face is enough to keep me going.
Happy kids.
Quiet happy home and above all happy mammy and sisters☺
Enjoy your evening all!0
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