Haven't touched a drop in...

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Glen_Quagmire wrote: »

How did you fight the cravings for all those months?

It was very hard, especially at the start. The first weeks / months were the worst. My body and mind continually came up with a thousand and one 'clever' excuses/justifications as to why just another one or two 'this time' would be ok, until I 'gave up properly'. I'd fallen for that too many times though. The definition of madness is doing the same thing over and over again,using the same excuses, and expecting a different result. There was always some excuse for me to delay giving up properly. . somebody home on hols, a wedding, an occasion of some type, or just just a drink or two with a meal . . .or some after a hard weeks work. The cells in your body / brain, will come up with everything and anything to get even just a little bit of alcohol into the system. . . and then the vicious circle continues. This time I just point blank refused myself alcohol, no matter what the situation or excuse. I made sure if I couldn't avoid a trigger event / occasion, I would ensure I only spent an hour or two at them max, i.e. The first couple of hours before people drinking end up on a different tangent to those that don't. The first few hours are always the best hours of any night / occasion anyway. I also made sure that when a craving came on at home or elsewhere, I'd be sure to immediately fill my mind and keep myself very busy with something else. The best of all is to try and find a healthy addiction to replace a poor one and crowd it out, it's better than just trying to drive it out. For me, if I couldn't strangle the craving as soon as it appeared, I crowded out the craving by doing something else. (I also found the daily pioneers prayer, and taking the year long temporary pledge, a very helpful preventative and strengthening measure, but of course that's not for everyone.) After 6 months the cravings are finally gone. I feel mentally and physically 15-20 years younger, and thank God in heaven, even the sight, smell and thought of alcohol now actually repulses me. Quite the turnaround for someone who thought for years there was little point in being sober if you didn't absolutely have to. I was always the very last person to leave a bar and the last person left drinking anywhere I went.

Glen_Quagmire

All sounds very similar reading these posts!! My mind is already constantly at me playing out scenarios in my head how bad the holiday will be without a few beers and what's the point in trying to stop now when I am going on holiday in a few weeks.

The 5 bottles are still in the fridge, I'm finding it very difficult to come to terms with giving up and throwing them out!

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Glen_Quagmire wrote: »

All sounds very similar reading these posts!! My mind is already constantly at me playing out scenarios in my head how bad the holiday will be without a few beers and what's the point in trying to stop now when I am going on holiday in a few weeks.

Never underestimate the power of every cell in your body craving just a little bit of alcohol and their ability to recruit and convince the mind to force you to cave in for a 'just' a moment so those cells can get their fix. I'd advise generally avoiding bars on holidays and filling your mind / time up with everything and anything else you can think of. I found it better to crowd out a craving than just trying to drive it out. Also think of how many fancy coffee's / non alcoholic drinks, or whatever else you are into, you can have anytime you like on hols instead for the same money, and concentrate on all coming up with all the other places and things you can try out instead of the bars, and make sure to treat yourself and your body/mind with them instead.

Glen_Quagmire wrote: »

The 5 bottles are still in the fridge, I'm finding it very difficult to come to terms with giving up and throwing them out!

I could advise you to pour that toxic body/mind poison down the sink, and evolving towards your new life, but you have to come to that realisation yourself.

Glen_Quagmire

Thanks for the help and advice guys and taking the time to reply, I'm hogging the thread so I'll sit back and observe for a bit...

Lady is a tramp

Got some good advice today. "The best blessing I could ever give anyone in early recovery - especially someone as young as yourself - is that I wish you a long, slow, difficult recovery. That might sound like a strange thing to wish on anyone, but think about it. What a wonderful strong foundation for the rest of your life!"

It's true. Isn't it.

(In that case, I'm doing brilliantly ... my recovery so far has been VERY long and slow and difficult, so it's seems that's the right way to do it after all, I win! Woohoo! :cool::pac: )

petes

Glen_Quagmire wrote: »

Thanks for the help and advice guys and taking the time to reply, I'm hogging the thread so I'll sit back and observe for a bit...

Not at all, it's what it's for. Some people might only be reading the thread and will identify with you. I definitely do as I've been there. This thread was great for me which is why I pop by occasionally. Different people will have different advice but it's all good. One day at a time, a mantra that nearly all groups have embraced and is especially important. You are thinking about your holidays, try and only think about now and today and do that each day

tinpib

"Playing the tape forward" is another great tool.

"Do I really want to wake up late with a hangover tomorrow?"

Or let's be honest about it, well with me anyway, "Do I really want to wake up after blacking out with cuts and bruises, lost jacket, lost phone, puke in bed/bedroom floor/bathroom floor, memory flashes of extreme regret/shame/embarrassment, sick stomach, headache, have spent a fortune etc [delete as appropriate]?"

scriba

Yep. It's like weighing it up. It might seem like just five beers in the fridge, but they mean much more than that. Every decision like this is like a little battle. You can be proactive and get rid of them or sit and wait and annoy yourself until you drink them and start all over again. I think we humans have a tremendous capacity to trick ourselves and convince ourselves by a series of tiny little concessions until we find ourselves far away from where we originally wanted to be. To fight this is very difficult, but not impossible. But it's easier if you challenge these thoughts and remember why you don't want to drink. Which is more important to you, a beer or never feeling bad and upset from alcohol ever again? It took me ages to realise that this is the choice I have before me every time I drank a beer and every day I wake up and resolve not to drink. Every day I consciously choose to not drink. I choose no more drink-fueled self loathing and risk of doing something terminally stupid. A beer is never just a beer. At least for me, anyway.

I can only speak for myself, but post away Quagmire! It's what the thread is for, and I find your posts really helpful. And I'm rooting for you - it's not easy!

lufties

scriba wrote: »

Yep. It's like weighing it up. It might seem like just five beers in the fridge, but they mean much more than that. Every decision like this is like a little battle. You can be proactive and get rid of them or sit and wait and annoy yourself until you drink them and start all over again. I think we humans have a tremendous capacity to trick ourselves and convince ourselves by a series of tiny little concessions until we find ourselves far away from where we originally wanted to be. To fight this is very difficult, but not impossible. But it's easier if you challenge these thoughts and remember why you don't want to drink. Which is more important to you, a beer or never feeling bad and upset from alcohol ever again? It took me ages to realise that this is the choice I have before me every time I drank a beer and every day I wake up and resolve not to drink. Every day I consciously choose to not drink. I choose no more drink-fueled self loathing and risk of doing something terminally stupid. A beer is never just a beer. At least for me, anyway.

I can only speak for myself, but post away Quagmire! It's what the thread is for, and I find your posts really helpful. And I'm rooting for you - it's not easy!

Exactly, for me the temptation comes when times are hard and I feel hopeless. However, I consciously know that alcohol will magnify these negative emotions.

Garrett81

Lady is a tramp wrote: »

Got some good advice today. "The best blessing I could ever give anyone in early recovery - especially someone as young as yourself - is that I wish you a long, slow, difficult recovery. That might sound like a strange thing to wish on anyone, but think about it. What a wonderful strong foundation for the rest of your life!"

It's true. Isn't it.

(In that case, I'm doing brilliantly ... my recovery so far has been VERY long and slow and difficult, so it's seems that's the right way to do it after all, I win! Woohoo! :cool::pac: )

What an excellent post ! I agree, I came in to recovery at 19 through AA and I'm 36 now, I kept drinking so I tried a treatment centre for 30 days and came out and picked right up again, in fact I had to go through another 4 treatment centres and i drank after every one of them. I was like a yo yo in and out of Aa for another 12 years and I was convinced I could never put the bottle down, but in hindsight that slow painfull recovery with all the relapses, treatment centres and a spell in the psychiatric ward were all part of the journey. For me two things stand out, "time" is so important and it will happen when you are ready to stop, there's no planning it just happens, and second have you "suffered enough", pleasant experiences cause happness, and painful ones lead to spiritual growth. Everyone had me written off but nearly 4 years later I'm in such a happy place in my life without alcohol. Embrace the slow painful journey because it can be the path
to everlasting soberity.

Best of luck ðŸ‘ðŸ»

Fingers Mcginty

In the pub atm drinking unleaded erdingers. They're not so bad. Not really into fizzy drinks and it helps me avoid all the alcohol related intrusive queries. I nearly buckled earlier though. TG I held strong.

tinpib

Fingers Mcginty wrote: »

In the pub atm drinking unleaded erdingers. They're not so bad. Not really into fizzy drinks and it helps me avoid all the alcohol related intrusive queries. I nearly buckled earlier though. TG I held strong.

Fair play, #1 just get through it, #2 enjoy yourself anyway, #3 look forward to feeling huge relief at waking up without a hangover/regret etc tomorrow morning.

Fingers Mcginty

I held strong. Getting ready for the park run. Feel great. There's only so many of those non alchos you can drink as there's no alcohol to keep making you thirsty.
Minor headache. Heard before its the yeast that still gives it to you. ??

lufties

Fingers Mcginty wrote: »

I held strong. Getting ready for the park run. Feel great. There's only so many of those non alchos you can drink as there's no alcohol to keep making you thirsty.
Minor headache. Heard before its the yeast that still gives it to you. ??

Is there trace amounts of alcohol in those non alcohol drinks?

Fingers Mcginty

lufties wrote: »

Is there trace amounts of alcohol in those non alcohol drinks?

I believe there are trace ammounts alright so may not be an option for some. It's a viable option for me though for those rare occasions these days I'd find myself in a public house.

tinpib

Fingers Mcginty wrote: »

I held strong. Getting ready for the park run. Feel great. There's only so many of those non alchos you can drink as there's no alcohol to keep making you thirsty.
Minor headache. Heard before its the yeast that still gives it to you. ??

Through my long and chequered and [hopefully] former drinking career I'd say I took a painkilller for a headache twice max, and I'd say I woke up with a headache maybe under ten times in around 17 years drinking.

It's funny how it affects different people in different ways, one of my best friends gets a splitting headache pretty much every time he drinks excessively.

I found I could drink 3 non-alcholic Erdingers, after the 4th one I got strange stomach cramps. Nothing serious but enough to not want to drink them any more.

Fair play for holding strong Fingers, "playing the tape forward" is a good tool, I'm sure you are buzzing today.

Fingers Mcginty

Wise words Tinpib

scriba

7 months (or 211 days) down. Was out on Friday night, but wasn't feeling too tempted overall. Tonight I'm exhausted and have a load to do before bed - would strongly consider knocking back a few beers right now if I had them. But I don't, so I won't.

Lady is a tramp

Just thought I'd mention, I picked up the Living Sober book at an AA meeting today ... it's actually really, really good! Well worth a read for anyone in early recovery, whether you're doing AA or not. Just good, simple, practical advice for getting through what I'd call the "edgy" moments/hours/days.

Garrett81

Lady is a tramp wrote: »

Just thought I'd mention, I picked up the Living Sober book at an AA meeting today ... it's actually really, really good! Well worth a read for anyone in early recovery, whether you're doing AA or not. Just good, simple, practical advice for getting through what I'd call the "edgy" moments/hours/days.

Hey you seem to be doing really well, keep the chin up. In addition to your post there is a guy called Anthony de mello who completely took my recovery to a new level. Go to YouTube and and put in Anthony de mello awareness, everything is free

Lady is a tramp

Garrett81 wrote: »

Hey you seem to be doing really well, keep the chin up. In addition to your post there is a guy called Anthony de mello who completely took my recovery to a new level. Go to YouTube and and put in Anthony de mello awareness, everything is free

Do you know, that's one my counsellor has been recommending to me for AGES! I'm finally reading the book, I'm almost finished it, and to be honest, my mind isn't blown. I don't know what it is about it, maybe I'm reading too many books and too many philosophies at the moment, I might read it again when my mind is a bit calmer.

Ever read The Love Mindset by Vironika Tugaleva? That's one I'd recommend to anyone in recovery, or anyone wanting recovery. Really refreshing and inspirational.

lufties

Lady is a tramp wrote: »

Do you know, that's one my counsellor has been recommending to me for AGES! I'm finally reading the book, I'm almost finished it, and to be honest, my mind isn't blown. I don't know what it is about it, maybe I'm reading too many books and too many philosophies at the moment, I might read it again when my mind is a bit calmer.

Ever read The Love Mindset by Vironika Tugaleva? That's one I'd recommend to anyone in recovery, or anyone wanting recovery. Really refreshing and inspirational.

slightly off topic, but have ye ever read the rstional male by rollo tomassi? essential reading for men trying to transform themselves.

aabarnes1

Lady is a tramp wrote: »

Just thought I'd mention, I picked up the Living Sober book at an AA meeting today ... it's actually really, really good! Well worth a read for anyone in early recovery, whether you're doing AA or not. Just good, simple, practical advice for getting through what I'd call the "edgy" moments/hours/days.

Hi,
Glad to hear you are doing well, and attending AA.
Living sober is a good read,there's quite an assortment of books out there for us to muse.
The best one, in my humble opinion, is the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous.
It is the basic text and instructions of the program and the route to a spiritual awakening. Every time I go through it, I get something new or different from it.
And some of the stories in it are so like my own experience.
If you can, pick a copy up, I don't believe you'll regret it.
Just a footnote, 'Daily reflections' is a fantastic way to start your day, I read a page every morning, (there's 365), and meditate on it.
Best of luck to you.

Garrett81

Lady is a tramp wrote: »

Do you know, that's one my counsellor has been recommending to me for AGES! I'm finally reading the book, I'm almost finished it, and to be honest, my mind isn't blown. I don't know what it is about it, maybe I'm reading too many books and too many philosophies at the moment, I might read it again when my mind is a bit calmer.

Ever read The Love Mindset by Vironika Tugaleva? That's one I'd recommend to anyone in recovery, or anyone wanting recovery. Really refreshing and inspirational.

when I first read the book and i could not grasp it either, it's his videos on YouTube that i use almost daily, it's all broken in to sections, e.g. Fear, desire, attachment, or you can listen to a full audio which is a couple of hours long. I find it to be brutality honest. Only today it pulled me outa my head as I had thoughts of resentment towards someone. Best of luck

Fingers Mcginty

Fell off the wagon after 9 weeks. Finished up in a job I loathed and had a wedding on the same weekend. My brother stayed off it for the wedding and a lot of people were hassling him to take a drink but he managed to abstain.
I was talking to him the next morning. Yours truly was in an absolute heap to which he replied "I've never felt better"....Time for me to hit the reset button again. 4 days

Garrett81

Fingers Mcginty wrote: »

Fell off the wagon after 9 weeks. Finished up in a job I loathed and had a wedding on the same weekend. My brother stayed off it for the wedding and a lot of people were hassling him to take a drink but he managed to abstain.
I was talking to him the next morning. Yours truly was in an absolute heap to which he replied "I've never felt better"....Time for me to hit the reset button again. 4 days

Hey Fingers,
I posted my struggles at the top of the page recently. Keep at it , and as much as I hate to say it there lesson to be leaned, go bak and look at exactly what happened and then move on. It's a hard road but I swear it's worth it. And I believe you can do it. PM if I ever need to chat.

Fingers Mcginty

Garrett81 wrote: »

Hey Fingers,
I posted my struggles at the top of the page recently. Keep at it , and as much as I hate to say it there lesson to be leaned, go bak and look at exactly what happened and then move on. It's a hard road but I swear it's worth it. And I believe you can do it. PM if I ever need to chat.

Thanks Garrett! Think i just forgot the reasons I kicked it in the first place.

scriba

Fingers Mcginty wrote: »

Fell off the wagon after 9 weeks. Finished up in a job I loathed and had a wedding on the same weekend. My brother stayed off it for the wedding and a lot of people were hassling him to take a drink but he managed to abstain.
I was talking to him the next morning. Yours truly was in an absolute heap to which he replied "I've never felt better"....Time for me to hit the reset button again. 4 days

That's it, Fingers. Start again. Think about what you've learned here, and you'll be stronger next time. And 4 days is a positive. You can do it!

Garrett81

Fingers Mcginty wrote: »

Thanks Garrett! Think i just forgot the reasons I kicked it in the first place.

Sure I know pal and my god if I had a penny for every tine I did it. There will always be reasons to drink fingers, and everyone's road is different, but you can take charge of your own, give it another good honest shot, whether it's AA meetings, new hobbies, I went the meetings route along when a year long psychotherapist,best thing I ever did, and the last 2 years I got in to Buddhism Recovery. Keep trying new ways or old to see what fits you.Be positive and this time is your time. Just don't drink today and before you know it the years will roll by and you won't recognise yourself, that I'm sure of.

petes

Fingers Mcginty wrote: »

Fell off the wagon after 9 weeks. Finished up in a job I loathed and had a wedding on the same weekend. My brother stayed off it for the wedding and a lot of people were hassling him to take a drink but he managed to abstain.
I was talking to him the next morning. Yours truly was in an absolute heap to which he replied "I've never felt better"....Time for me to hit the reset button again. 4 days

Happened me after 4 months. It's a long process. Felt fine, had moved in to a new place (coincidently was only up the street from the office licence I spent a lot of time in at the end, was the way it worked out but maybe subconsciously I knew where this was heading). Did okay for a month and then was a week off work drunk as a lord every day. Moved home again. The start of February 2016 was the last time I had a drink.

I can definitely say it takes time. In a better place now though. Just about to get a new tattoo and sitting in a coffee shop in Dublin. Normally I'd be having a few pints before and after (a few ha)

Keep plugging away. Do not forget the 9 weeks you weren't drinking, they are definitely not wasted!